I have a little girl who is 12 weeks old. Up until about 2 weeks ago she slept on and off as expected night and day. We passed through the day/ night confusion phase at about 6wks. She sleeps in her crib at night and typically has napped in my arms while nursing in the daytime. But recently her day sleep has stopped. She nurses all day, apparently trying to fall asleep but with no success. I have read the no cry sleep solution as well as healthy sleep, healthy habits and it is apparent I have an overtired infant who will sleep for only 30 mins in my arms with 3 hours of rocking, nursing, soothing. Putting her in her crib jolts her awake, she has no more success in the swing, infant carrier or my bed. At this point she is only napping 1hr a day, between 2-3 short intervals, maybe, and is very fussy ( for good reason!).her total sleep with nighttime is only around 9-10hrs, half of what's recommended. How do you break the cycle of an overtired baby?
Additional details: she is definitely getting milk, she is twice her birthweight, probably from nursing so much in order to sleep. She does not like the swing, car seat or bouncer. In bed, side lying she does not sleep more than 10-20 mins and it is unsettled, rooting for the nipple shortly after falling asleep. I have shades in the window, white noise machine, a glider, and swaddle her to keep her arms from flailing around(which seems to happen as soon as she doses...darn Moro reflex I imagine). Thank you so much for the comments thus far!
The night sleep has now been affected (as expected, much more fragmented at times less than 7 hours total) and it seems she nurses much longer to pacify herself to sleep. I have been laying with her and nursing for naps, still inconsistent with sleep and averages a fragmented hour, but the daytime pacifier use has improved, helps soothe her and let's me eat, etc now ( yeah!). I have started a routine for a.m. And p.m. And hope that this will show results soon! Thanks so much for all of the advice!
She's also cluster feeding because she's going thru a growth spurt.
There were times when my 1st would have the hardest time going down for naps. If you are able to lay down with her and let her nurse and nap. That was what I would do with him to get him back on track.
S.,
I too am an attachment parent at this point I would lie down with her in bed make the room dark like at night time and see if that works. My would jolt awake too if I put them in the crib after that I figured out tha tthe floor on a sheepskin was a good napping place for them. However my current little guy prefers being buckled in the carseat in the middle of the kitchen to nap. He is about 3 months too. Good Luck!
J.
Hi S.,
Have you tried a pacifier? I was so anti-pacifier with my first two kids but gave in with my last child for similar issues. It might offer you some relief and will help her to soothe herself. I breastfed and had no problems with nipple confusion when using the pacifier, it might be worth a try! Good luck, this too shall pass!
M.
I'm so sorry that she's not sleeping well - which means you aren't sleeping well! Such a tough place to be :(
Based on what you said, it would appear that you are opposed to letting her cry. I can see why you'd feel that way, as it is SO painful to hear your tiny baby cry. I absolutely hate hearing it. But after having 2 babies myself, I have learned something. You are doing your baby a favor by letting them cry, because they learn how to fall asleep on their own.
I truly believe that when you are constantly trying to soothe and stop your baby from crying, you are basically never allowing them to fall into that deep sleep. And then they are miserable! (and you are miserable) I decided to try the cry it out method, and I was so nervous that it was going to be just awful. And honestly, it was at first. But then I realized that she only cried for about 5 minutes, then fell asleep. Truly asleep :)
It occurred to me that when I was rocking her/singing to her/nursing her when she wasn't really hungry - I thought I was helping her and soothing her, but I was just distracting her from sleeping.
They learn to fall asleep quickly. The crying feels like it lasts a long time in the moment, but if you look at the clock, its usually only a few minutes.
Please know that I support any mom who is trying her best - I am NOT here to bring judgement. We have to go with our gut and follow our instincts and I have no doubt you are an amazing mom. But I thought I'd share my own experience. I would encourage you to think about it and maybe ask around to your doctor or other moms.
Good luck!
I agree that swaddling is great, it helps baby to feel snug and secure and they can't flail themselves awake.
I also used to use a boppy pillow when I nursed and would put the baby down on the floor with the boppy still under her. This kept her in her nice warm place and also kept her supported while transitioning. I of course always stayed in the room with her and kept an eye on her to make sure she didn't wiggle to a precarious place.
If she does wake up when laying her down, try gently patting her butt or rocking her side to side to sooth her back to sleep.
Give her babies magic tea and you'll be the happiest mom on earth.
Two thoughts that came to my mind (and this is from a mom who has struggled with multiple sleep issues with 3 children)...
1 -- Could caffeine be the culprit? While some babies are unaffected by caffeine, others are kept awake and restless by the smallest amounts. If you're having caffeinated soda, coffee, or even chocolate on any kind of regular basis, try not having it for a while, and see if that helps.
2 -- Have you tried carrying her in a sling or other baby carrier during the day? My youngest did most of his napping in my arms or a sling for the first 6 months of his life, partly because I was on the go a lot with my older girls (then 2 1/2 and 4). We'd take walks at the park, trips to the grocery store, and visits to the zoo or museum all with him in the sling, happily sleeping. At home, I'd hold him in my lap while he napped if the girls were napping at the same time.
One final thought... have you tried keeping her at different temperatures? My oldest slept best when very warm. She liked to be all bundled up, and we'd even put socks on under her sleeper. My youngest, on the other hand, slept best when he was a little cooler. If we dressed him too heavily, he'd wake more often.
Hang in there, and good luck!
First of all, I am so sorry you are going through this especially while being sleep deprived .
Hang in there as this stage will pass (and onto another one). :)
Okay let's see my first instinct is to ask if your baby is gettinge enough food while breast feeding. Could she be waking due to hunger?
If she is not getting enough breast milk, could you supplement w/formula?
- Also, is he/she comfortable in her cothing (warm enough), is it a semi dark, quiet room?
- I have friends that said their babies only slept in their swings, car carriers, strollers etc.....whatever workd for their babies .
I say try it all.
- My baby "grew" to be difficult to transition from arms to cradle or crib.
The best advice my friend of 5 kids gave me was let him fall asleep in my arms for no more than 10 mins when feeding him then transition him to his cradle (at the time it was his cradle not yet the crib).
I swaddled him for a few months to help assist in sleeping.....that helped.
When he grew too big for swaddling I stopped and transitioned him from cradle to crib so he had more room and didn't wake himself my hitting his arms against the cradle. At some point they are too big and active to swadle.
- Sometimes when I took him for a walk in this stroller and he fell asleep....I would leave him in it to slumber/nap and just lower the seat to a lying position.
- If he fell asleep in the car ride in his carrier, I'd leave him in the carrier and bring the carrier right into his room where it was quiet leaving the baby monitor on.
- Eventually he grew out of all of these stages and would nap in his cradle then crib.
- Try everything, get rest when you can, if someone offers help to hold/feed the baby.....take them up on it so you get a little break.
