Help Getting My 3 Month Old to Nap....

SLING fixes all. Let me know if you need a recommendation for a specific brand or store.

Hope that helps,

M. :-)

Healthy Sleep by Weisbluth is a great book. Another fantastic resource (for all the 1st yr. issues - sleep, food, schedule, returning to work, etc) is "Surviving and thriving During Your Baby's First Year" avail at www.babygroupvideo.com. It's a dvd w/real moms and a babygroup leader discussing this issue and others. Donna Holloran, a childgroup "guru" in Los Angeles, moderates it and her methods saved me and countless moms on the area you discussed and others.

I am currently helping my 2nd baby learn to self-soothe for naps and sleep. He is just under 3 months -- w/o crying it out, you can put them down drowsy, but awake and let them work it out. Sometimes he falls asleep right away, sometimes there is a minute or two of fussing. I pat and shush and this helps. You are not being cruel when you help your children learn to soothe themselves, you are helping to create great sleepers which they will thank you for later. Get the dvd -- especially as you return to work and need to rely on others to help establish routines that will work for everyone in your home. It will make everything much easier. My four year old is an excellent sleeper and he was taught around 3/4 months to self-soothe w/o much crying it out (some crying, but nothing super long or strenuous) -- moderation is key here and the dvd and real moms discussing the same issues makes it so much easier -- when you don't teach your kids to do it on their own, you are just prolonging the inevitable and creating a problem. Try it for just a minute at a time, you will be surprised what starts to happen! Good luck.

I suggest you hold him as much as you can before returning to work . Think of how toned your biceps will be:)

Hi D.,
I really believe you can not hold your baby enough. Afterall, they were made cute and cuddlesome by design so that we couldn't resist holding them near. :-) If you can, I would suggest you get a rocker or glider chair, a boppy to fit around your waste and enjoy soothing your little baby to sleep while you sit. Playing a little music helps, too. The tricky part for me was always transferring my little guy to the crib after he'd fallen asleep in my lap. Sometimes it was like "I have things to do, rather than sit with my baby" but soothing him when he needed to be soothed has paid off in dividends. At six months he had a regular bedtime and slept from 8pm to 7am. He's 21 months now and he's on the same schedule sleeping through the night.
Also, a great book is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD

Hope this helps!
By the way, I held my son and soothed him into naps by breastfeeding for 6 months

Wrap him in a tight/snug blankie, place him either on his side or belly, lightly tap his bottom or back in a way that will rock just a bit. After a couple of times of doin this he will soon be going to sleep easier. Right now they still need to hear your heartbeat, maybe record it and place it under close blankie. There are also some baby toys that mimic the moms heart beat. That may help also. Good luck, it won't last long.....

I had the same exact situation with my daughter - my mom, dad, husband, and myself would ALWAYS have to bounce her and continue to hold her for every single nap in order for her to stay asleep. We couldn't even transfer her to a swing or bassinet because she would immediatley wake up! Once the car stopped moving she would wake too. When she turned 10 months is when I just couldn't hold her anymore, she was too heavy and I couldn't handle it. We moved her crib mattress on the floor (fixed so that she wouldn't fall off onto the floor) and we then had to lie next to her with her pacifier in her mouth until she fell asleep. BUT THE HARDEST PART OF IT ALL WAS THAT SHE DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO SELF SOOTHE so after 40 minutes of napping we would run to her mattress and do the same thing again until she fell back to sleep. Well, at 13 months I felt both myself and my daughter were ready for some sleep training and after 2 nights of allowing her to cry (I would go in her room after about 3 minutes, i wouldn't touch her, but I would talk to her and let her know it was ok to go to sleep) she has slept in her own crib since. She NEVER cries when we lay her down and even when she wakes up she just plays in her crib until we get her. It's heaven now :o) Sleeps 11 hours and when she wakes up she soothes herself back to sleep. I was totally not ready to do sleep training until after she was a year old. I was tired and frustrated but couldn't get myself to let her cry. We're expecting our second baby and i will admit that i am willing to try the sleep training earlier with this baby (NOT BEFORE 4 MONTHS THOUGH). Sleep Planet (check it out online) really helped me get through this tough time! I honestly believe that she sleeps so well now because she learned to trust us and slept with us for as long as she did. Hang in there!!! This won't last forever!!!

He won't go to sleep on his own until he learns to. However, this doesn't mean you have to let him cry it out. Read my response to the "ever awake two year old" and do a version of that (good news- it works a lot faster for babies, and once you get a few feet away from the crib you're probably good!). It's kinda long, and I don't want to type it again:) And read the baby whisperer. I read a LOT of baby books when Izzy was tiny, and I thought it presented the most realistic and moderate approach to just about everything. Also, you may not want to start this now, but if he seems overstimulated it may help to swaddle him. But he's almost too old, and you may be unnneccesarily introducing a habit you'll have to break later.

My baby boy just turned 4 months old. He is a beautiful napper now but he didn't used to be. I read the baby whisperer and pulled a few things out of there that really worked. You have to teach him that it's ok to fall asleep in his crib without a sleep prop, ie. rocking him or having to hold him. I used to have to do the same thing. I started out by putting on lullabies, placing him in his crib and giving him his pacifier. When he would start to cry and protest I would just pat his belly or rub his head and tell him that it's ok, mama's here etc until he fell asleep. That lasted about a couple of days and now he gets totally tired around naptime and all I have to do is turn on his music, give him his pacifier and he goes right down. :) Good luck - you'll find what works for you but I hope this helps.

I highly recommend a carrier! Sling, pouch, Ergo, etc..

Congrats on your new baby!
M.

You know... I would confirm with your pediatrician... but I talked to mine a few months back (my son is now 5 months) and at that time she said that it was okay to let him cry for about 15 minutes. Of course, the hyperventilating cry would still send me running in to get him... but the basic cry, you should be just fine letting it go. Just keep in mind that it's the longest 15 minutes in the history of mankind. You'll want to time it, but that is what we did. Honestly, it didn't even take 10 minutes and he'd be out. Now our son does better with just a feeding and then putting him down. He'll still cry, but it's never for very long. Just be patient with it.

Try swaddling him. Remember how they would wrap him in the hospital when he was 1st born? There is a reason they do that, it comforts the baby, they feel secure like that. I hope this works for you, good luck.

A little about me:

Mother of a 17, 7 and 4 year old. I am retired from the Navy and I am a LVN/stay at home mom.

I have to giggle about this, part of learning lessons with your children, when you make it a habit they expect you to do the habit, now you have to ween the baby away from the habit, before you put him down to nap, change what you did before, it it was change his diaper then feed him then carry him, then nap, switch it up some. baby is creating a pattern, all good for the baby but your poor arms. Lessons learned everytime you do something for three days in a row, the baby will have that habit, it takes three days to create it, and three days to break it. Good Luck !!

I have a 3 month old that is the same way. I use a sling to relieve some of his weight. He is able to be close to me and I can still move around. He falls asleep very quickly in the sling.

We got our daughter a swing, & she slept in that for months & months. We'd pop in a Baby Einstein video & she'd be out in a matter of munutes!

He is still so little so please do not worry about spoiling him. I recommend a carrier as well. Place him in there and go about your business. Also, we used a swing and bouncy chair A LOT in the early months. We even let our daughter sleep in there because we knew this stage wouldn't last forever. I have found a great book that has some fantastic tips for every stage of development it is called Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby by Weissbluth.

Well, if you can't do it, be sure that your caregiver will find a way to get him to fall asleep without "walking him around!" Believe me, other people are less stressed when a baby cries than when it is your own flesh and blood desperately calling to you for comfort in his time of need. You didn't say how he is at night, so I am assuming that he does better at night. All kids have their own rhythm, some like to nap more early in the morning, others take short cat naps, etc. Why not just go about your business of shopping, cooking, exercising, etc and see when his natural tendency to fall asleep is. Since he is so small, you can just let him nap in the infant carrier if you are out and about. He may just not want to nap on your schedule.

this is an awful decision to make. I decided with my first to rock her to sleep, which continued till she was about two. the only way out was to let her fall asleep beside me. That's your first option. Your second is not so great... you gotta let him cry it out. According to everyone in the world (except the mom going through it) he is not too young. It will take a ton of patience on your part, but it may be worth it in the end. One of my friends was unable to get her son to sleep at all, but after about 6 weeks of making sure he stuck to his schedule, all is well, and she is finally able to sleep.
As long as you are consistent in whatever you choose, he will adjust accordingly. Good Luck

My son was the same way at that age. He was a catnapper and would only fall asleep in our arms. I eventually got tired of it at 4 months. I watched for several weeks when he usually got sleepy and I started putting him in his crib at that time. I made him stay in it for 30 minutes, even if he was crying. It was hard, but with frequent check ins, I knew he was fine, just a little mad. He usually fell asleep too before the end of 30 minutes. He is 7 months old now and not only naps at that same time, but naps for 3 hours straight without a fight! We also established a bed time routine at 5 months and I do a mini version of this before naptime and it seemed to make it easier for him to know it was time to fall asleep. Sticking to a regular naptime schedule has really helped my son's internal clock know that it is time for a nap. He will fall asleep even if we are out at a restaurant during his naptime. Good luck!

We have a three month old as well. : ) I use to hold her all the time to fall asleep and even nurse her to sleep, but I figured I could not do that forever. About 3 weeks ago we started putting her in a bouncy seat or a swing. I sat with her and talked to her and rocked her bouncy seat until she fell asleep. Gradually I let her get use to falling asleep in there and now she does it on her own. It took a couple of weeks, but it is paying of wonderfully. It was a lifesaver for me. I have bilateral carpel tunnel and cubital tunnel. I don't know how else I would have done it. Good luck hope he gives your arms a rest. Congrats!

This is normal behavior for a three month old. What you have been already doing is optimal. Keep up the great work! Sometimes it helps with carrying the baby to use a soft sling baby carrier, where the weight is more evenly distributed. Whoever will be caring for your baby can do the same.

Hello,
One of the gifts I love to give to first time mommies, is a beautiful CD called "Latin Lullabies" and don't know where we got our first copy, but found that the Target on-line store has them, and so we purchased several for our friends there.
We would play this beautiful CD and hold our baby and gently waltz around the room, or simply sway back and forth, and he'd be asleep by the 2nd or 3rd song. Ofcourse dimming the lights and darkening the room helps too, plus I humm to the music and he could feel the vibration from my body, and that's soothing too.
But if you are already tired from holding your baby, (I know they can get heavy after a while) maybe try playing the CD while he's in his crib, it might soothe him, but remmember, you're only gonna be able to do this waltz dancing in your arms for a short time and then they grow up. So although it's tireing, hang in there and get the CD. Good luck!

My daughter also wouldn't go sleep by herself when she was an infant. I would nurse her to sleep a lot, but that didn't always work. So, we used the Fisher-Price Aquarium cradle swing. Once she would fall asleep in the swing, we would swaddle her and put her in her crib. This helped her stay asleep. The swing has ocean sounds, lights, a mobile, reclines and rocks from side to side or back to front. It worked wonderfully. Eventually we didn't even have to turn it on and she would fall asleep. After she got too big for the swing (around 9 months), we would just put on ocean sounds and lay in the room with her while she lay in her crib and she would go to sleep. I would recommend this swing to everyone. It was a lifesaver!

Hi D.,

Have you tried relaxing infant massage? For many children, massage is very useful in helping them fall asleep, sleep deeper and for longer periods of time. (you'll get more rest too!)

Here are some simple tips if you want to try massage for your son:

• Keep baby warm and cover areas you will not be massaging. You can massage over clothing (without oil).

• Before you begin, talk in a calm voice and smile at him. This will help stimulate his senses and make him feel more comfortable. Relax and take your time.

• Warm your hands by rubbing them together. This will help him to recognize this cue as “massage time”.

• Allow baby to move to different positions if he chooses to.

• Continue massage only as long as you and baby are enjoying it

At bedtime/naptime, you want to focus on using relaxing strokes. Relaxing strokes are those which move away from the heart. Being careful not to over stimulate at bedtime is best, so using only a few strokes can work wonders.

Start by placing your warmed hands around the top of baby’s leg at the hip, cupping his leg, gently stroke downward towards the foot. Do not put any pressure on baby’s knee or ankle. Then stroke the bottom of the foot and gently hug each little toe. Next kiss his feet, babies love this! Repeat on the opposite leg.

The tummy should not be massaged right after eating, so go ahead and move on to the arms. Repeat the same soothing strokes. While doing massage, continue to make eye contact and check in.. If you like singing or telling stories, go for it. Whatever makes you both feel relaxed is great!

If your both still enjoying the massage, continue. If not, feel free to let him be the boss. Babies are really good at letting us know when they’ve had enough.

Now, move on to the back. Stroke his back, starting at the shoulders, over bottom and down the legs, showing extra care not to put any pressure on the spine. Continue stroking a few times.

Now, give a hug and kiss goodnight.

The first time you give your baby a massage, he may only like to have a few minutes. This is perfectly normal. Make sure you check in with the boss, your baby, and soon you will be experiencing more restful nights!

Hope this is helpful.

T. Allen
LiddleKidz.com

Hey D.,

We have the same kind of baby (now a toddler at 20 months). Some kids just need help getting to sleep longer than others - ours is still extra cuddly. I started snuggling with her in my bed until she fell asleep and then she is transferred to her crib by myself of my husband after she is asleep. Ella still needs this some nights, while others she gets about 15 minutes of rocking and then lays peacefully down for the night in her crib by herself.

I have to say having a lazy boy rocker with big, soft arm rests at just the right height has been essential (It was the one splurge when she was born - everything else was gifts, hand-me-downs, or purchased consignment or on deep discount) Another way to give your arms a break though is to put your stroller to use. Find a well lit area near your home and take a little walk. It often worked with Ella while teething and when things were a little tougher or took long enough that arms just couldn't do it any more! It is tough at times to devote the time - both of us work full time - but we figure she'll only be like this for a short portion or her life so we might as well consign ourselves to it and provide it for her rather than fight it.

Good luck and enjoy the snuggly bundle you have! Ella has cousins that aren't like that and her parents are so jealous that she still wants snuggles and loves now that she is nearing two!

R. M

Hi D.,

I have a 4 month old right now. He is my second one. Have you thought about getting those baby swing that can move forward or side ways. If you know of someone who has one, you can borrow & try it out to see if it works for you. Or you can just bit the bullet, get one & try it out. Just in case it doesn't work, you can always repackage it and return it. The swing is a life saver for me.

My boy is 11 months and I still have to hold him for his nap. If I put him down he wakes up a few minutes later. My solution is to lay down with him on my bed or to sit back on the couch for his nap. Not very productive for me but its what gets him his nap. As for the arm falling a sleep I try to prop his head on a pillow if I'm sitting up with him so his weight isn't barring down on my arm. Not much help, sorry.

Hi! I have a 3 month old, too! Have you tried wearing him in a sling or carrier? That always seems to be an effortless way to get our baby to sleep because he's comforted by the closeness and the natural swaying of the body, kind of what it was like in the womb. It definitely takes a lot of weight off the arms and does a great job of getting the LO drowsy. Good luck! :)

Have you tried swaddling him? I have to swaddle once in a while, especially if they're used to being held, it secures arms and legs so they don't feel out of control, it makes them warm and cozy and it's very restricting, they can't get loose and give up much easier than when they feel they can. Look up a good technique online, it's gotta be secure.

I say if they don't quiet down in 10 minutes, they need help to be calmed down and start over. Some kids just get frantic instead of calming. You need to help them calm, then teach them how to do it by themselves a little at a time.

I am a 62 year old Mother of now 3 adults and none of them are scarred,dysfunctional or weird in any way. When I fed mine, changed the nappy, made sure there was no wind , they were put to bed... where they stayed until it was time to get them up. Otherwise nothing would be done in the house.Sometimes they cried which I tried to ignore and with the first it is the hardest but you have to be cruel to be kind otherwise he is running the house/your life. Let him cry...he is not too young and when tired enough and when he realises this crying is not working he will go to sleep.

He is considerably past the time when he can be allowed to cry it out ( really, you can start this process when the baby is 4 to 6 weeks of age). He is now conditioned to your response. Suggest that you put him down the same time every day, whether or not he sleeps, and don't go into his room. It helps to not engage him in stimulating activity prior to nap or nighttime sleep onset. If he is well fed and dry, and not a colicky baby, it won't hurt him to cry it out. When he sees that you will return after naptime everyday, or the sitter will, his anxiety should subside. By the way, he needs his own space in his own room. If you have an audio or combination video monitor, you can see what is happening in his room once he's put down for a nap. It's also not too early to simply explain that this is his special rest time, and you'll be back when it's over. Best of luck.

I would agree with some of the other comments about starting very slowly to let him try to fall asleep on his own. Start a routine with him, if you haven't already so his body knows its coming. For every night have like bath time, dark room, maybe some lotion or something to help him relax, sing a certain song with him, or soft music means bed time is coming... pick a couple of things to do every night.

Try putting him down and waiting for like 5 minutes to go in. Yes it is hard and yes he will cry but then and rock him. He is just crying because he feels uncomfortable in the new situation - he isn't hurt. Do this for a few times or like a week or two - whatever you are comfortable with...then wait like 10 minutes to go in... slow transitions work best.

I don't actually have a solution, but I just wanted to let you know I had the same problem except the second I would try to put him down in his crib his eyes would pop open. I didn't have to go back to work, so I just held my son while he napped untill he was about seven months. Then I did have to have him cry it out. It was the only thing that worked. He only cried for about a week at nap time and bed time and then would go to sleep on his own without crying. I don't regret holding him at all, infact I am glad I did it because now that he is 18 months I don't get to hold him very much. Oh yeah, I highly recomend the book Sleep Sense Program by Dana Obleman. You can download it from her website www.sleepsense.net. That is what I did. I really liked it and it gave me confidence about this subject. Good luck and remember you are not alone.

Oh gosh I know what you are going thru, I have an almost 3 month old baby girl and its the same...she mainly has to fall asleep nursing on the boob at night but during the day for naps I have a fisher price swing that she will go in to for her mid day nap....and stay in it for 2 to 3 hours its great! I pad the seat with a fluffy blanket then a light cotton one over it so its softer and yet cool. I also put the swing infront of the TV so if she wakes up she watches it till she falls back asleep,lol. Good luck!

I realize your a first time mom, but because you are, it is much harder to understand what your creating for yourself if you can't put a stop to it now. I'm 46 and a mother of two daughters one 22 years and the other 16 years. Plus, I have been running a daycare/preschool for the last 15 years. I have had probably 40 or more babies in my care through out those years and crying never hurt any of them. I have mom in my daycare ask me that same question and told them the same thing, they took my advice as difficult as it was and eventually it worked. My daycare parents and I were talking the other day and we we're talking about how all the new methods having created a mess for a lot of these children and that's why children do not have respect for their parents as young as 2 years old. Trust me I've seen it all! I'm not advising that you let your child to cry for an hour but slowly ease them into it. Let him cry for 10 minutes go in check on him sooth him by rubbing him and letting him know you are still there, then leave and come back in again. It will not fix it self over night and children learn by repetition and they learn their parents weaknesses very early in life so you have to be consitent and secure so he gets that feeling eventually. It might days, weeks but should happen. Good luck, and I hope you did not find anything I said offensive but I really honestly know from experience.

Hi,
My thought is that 3 months old is not too young to let them cry it out. I have 2 boys, 3 & 1. I was too afraid with my first to let him cry during sleep times until he was 7 months old- big mistake. We were very tired. So with my second, I put him on his tummy to sleep at 6 weeks (I know I know shame on me) and he slept like a dream. Plus, by 8 weeks he was napping regularly for an hour or more 2 X a day, with no soothing except for his fingers, and by 3 months he was sleeping 7-6 with only one feeding at 2 AM and napping 2 X (a 1-hour and a 2-hour). We definitely let him cry it out- and that helped him nap in the afternoon for longer. He'd wake up after about 1 hour (on the dot) so I'd let him cry for up to 20- 30 minutes and then he would always fall asleep again for another hour. We learned from our first to be a little hard-hearted about the crying and we really saw the benefits. He is a happy, healthy 16 month old who sleeps perfectly for naps and bed time. I really think it was due to us just making him do it.
I really wish I had known to do this with my first but any time an experienced mom would tell me to let him cry I would think "How horrible! He's still too little!". I should've just listened :)

Hello Girls! I am sitting here reading all your threads and feel for each of you. There are several ways to help your baby learn how to sleep independently and it is the most crucial and healthy thing you can do for them. I am a Certified Newborn Care Specialist and Infant/Sleep Consultant and work with issues like this all the time. I also have 3 small children of my own so I do empathize with you. Each baby and challenge is unique and needs to be addressed in a way that best suits the baby and family. I can honestly tell you that rocking, swinging, feeding or assisting your baby to sleep may appear to be fine in the interim but is never a reasonable long term solution. It only gets more difficult as they get older, as most of you are experiencing now.

D., I am happy to speak with you personally if you would like to email me. Also if you are local - I am going to be at Babies R Us this weekend in Foothill Ranch giving a Free Seminar on How to Establish Healthy Sleep Habits in Your Baby. It's a great forum for parents to ask questions and get answers to some of their most challenging sleep issues with their babies, whereas typically I work by consultation only.

I wish you all the best and encourage you to come by Babies R Us this weekend between 11:00 am & 3:00 pm if you would like to speak with me. They are having their monthly Baby Festival on Saturday.

Best of Luck to you all!

Warmly,

H. I.

I would put your 3 year old in his crib or bed with some books and a favorite toy and tell him that this is quiet time for the whole house. Tell him he doesn;t have to sleep, but he needs to stay in bed and play quietly. More than likely he will fall asleep. It's time to change your sleep routine. You trained him to fall asleep a certain way, now he needs to create his own ritual. Most 3 year olds are busy, so he can learn to at least relax for a while and give you a break. Also, make sure at some point in the day that you have some uninterrupted time for just him. No TV, no phone, etc and let him pick the activity. Then he can be free to separate later. Best of luck and blessing. D.

as a mom who had six now five, lost the last one to sids,,, keep holding the little guy. I know sometimes u just want a breather, that time will come. Enjoy the moments, cause I would give anything to hold my baby Jarrett again.

t

My daughter was the same way. Try using a sling to give your arms a rest. He can sleep and you can do other things while he's sleeping.

He's not to young to cry it out. In fact it is the perfect time. He'll learn faster, and you'll be thankful in the end.
You should nip it in the bud. You don't want to continue rocking him, it will be more of a problem as he gets older. It's the worst thing in the world hearing your child scream....but, as long as you know he not hungry or has a dirty diaper you should let him cry.
Good luck.

My daughter was the same way. Get a baby swing and put it in front of the TV with something like Baby Mozart playing. The TV kept her entertained until she finally fell asleep. The swing was a lifesaver!

3-month-olds are definitely too young to fall asleep on their own; you still need to help your son with that. Perhaps put him in a sling/carrier and walk around with him--maybe the rocking motion will send him to sleep, but you'll save your arms. If you're nursing, most babies will nurse to sleep. Or, maybe you can just cuddle with him in the bed, instead of walking around and holding him?

D.,
I have the exact same issue with my daughter who we rock to sleep before we put her down. She is also 3 months old. I am going to try to transition slowly into a new pattern this week. I am going to rock her for 5 min, then 4 min, then 3 min, 2 min, etc. each time to transition into not rocking her at all. It might help transitioning her better. I like the idea to sit by her crib until she falls asleep idea. My baby sweats profusely when she cries, so it has been really rough to let her cry it out. She gets drenched and really works it up to intense crying---and will cry intensely for what seems like forever. The longest I've let her cry was 7 minutes. When I picked her up, her head was drenched with sweat and she was only wearing a onesie! So, I feel your pain about letting your son cry, but I think it would be beneficial for them to learn to fall asleep on their own.

Hi D.,
First - re CIO - if you feel like it is not something you want to do then don't let other people bully you into it. You don't HAVE to do it and It's just not for some people. Lots of babies who have trouble sleeping do fine without it. There are lots of other things you can try and it does not have to resort to tears. The thing with CIO is that it will work for a little while but then something happens - growth spurt, change in weather, seasons, whatever, and you have to do it all over again.
Second - I nurse my DS to sleep in bed. At daycare he is rocked to sleep. He feels loved and secure and I'm 100% sure I won't be doing this forever. He falls asleep quickly and sleeps well. Sometimes after nursing he is not quite asleep. Then he loves to have his bottom jiggled gently. It is comforting to him for some reason! Try it - maybe your baby likes movement to fall asleep and jiggling him (gently!) will work for you - an alternative to rocking/walking.
Good luck!

My feeling was that I never wanted to be walking around the house with my son at 3am, so I never started. I also didn't allow others who visited or babysat to do the same thing. I'm happy to rock him, but not walk him...you're probably stuck with some unhappy nights while you break him of the habit...

i am speaking from 19 years experience,,,,,1st of all i love rocking a baby to sleep....but also know what you are talking about. 1st of is he tired enough? is he doing tummy time yet,,where he is responsible for holding his head up? start w/15 seconds w/a favorit toy infront of him & gradually increase time by 5 seconds.( of course not after a feeding) o.k. if he usually goes down at 9;30..start at 9;40. then rock him in a chair.( have the bar to the cradle down already) when he is closing his eyes,,,gently walk over to cradle( bassinet if still in) place him on side,,,belly? back? & continue a rocking motion. once you place him down. if on belly tap him on his tushy. good luck! if he is already in a habit it will take a little to break it.peace,J.

This is just because he is the first child. You do eventually need to let him fall asleep alone, though. My first baby had trouble sleeping alone for a year. I had never heard of the Ferber method so I rocked or nursed him to sleep every night. If he woke up at all in the night, I had to re-rock him or nurse him back to sleep. It was exhausting. I had no idea that it was my fault. I never let him learn to fall asleep on his own, so he didn't know how. With our second baby, we Ferberized him at 4 months. We only had to let him cry a few times and you don't just shut them in the room and let them scream----you check on them regularly and let them know it's OK and you're there. You just DON'T pick them up. By the third night, my son fell asleep on his own and even went to bed smiling after that. By our third baby, we didn't even have to "ferberize" him because with 2 preschool age brothers, you ferberize yourself. I would have to set him down to help one of his brothers and a lot of the time he just fell asleep by himself before I could pick him up again. We never had a problem putting him in bed at night, because he knew he could fall asleep himself. Good luck!

D.,
I agree with a couple of the others mothers that have suggested bouncy seats. I'm a mother of three and didn't discover the bouncy seat until my second child. It's a lifesaver. It was great to lull them to sleep in, since most of them have a couple vibrating settings and the kids took great naps in it. They were also able to enjoy the seat when they were awake and I've give them a couple toys, put them in there and near me while I did chores. Before the seat and the swing, I never felt like I got anything accomplished.

I used to put our son in his swing for naps. He still loves it in there. Now he is to the point that he can either sleep in the swing or in his crib.

D.,
I don't have any miracle answer for you. Babies that young need to be held, rocked or nursed to sleep. He is a little young to learn to self soothe. If I had let my baby cry it out, like my husband suggested, my baby would have gone hungry and then been cold (as our thermostat is old and his room has a draft that we are trying our hardest to take care of.) How would you feel if you let him cry but he was actually hungry or cold or hot? Even if he just needs you to help him - isn't that your job as a parent? He will eventually learn to do it himself. Trust me. Get a little blankie (called a lovey) and put it in his crib. My son grabs his, rubs it on his face and it gets him back to sleep when he wakes in the night (unless he's hot, cold or hungry). Maybe your son will learn to self soothe this way.
Good Luck and enjoy these times. You will actually miss them when he's older!

Hi! I'm a mother of an 8 year old girl. Your son is not too young to cry it out. You have to do it. Believe me, I know it's hard, but he's old enough now to go to sleep on his own. You'll be so thankful. Our daughter "cried" it out one time and it was over. Even if it takes two or three times, he'll get it!

I went through the exact same thing with my now 13 month old son until he was 5 months old, then I just stopped rocking him because he was soo heavy. I don't believe in letting them cry it out, and even if you do that they should be at least 6 months old. I think 3 months is still pretty little, so me personally, I would still hold him and rock him. At 5 months old, I just nursed my son and patted his back to get him to sleep (always staying right there with him). He did cry, but eventually learned how to fall asleep that way. As your baby gets older, he will change too, so things will get better. Hang in there and savor the moments with your baby. They grow up way too fast!

Have you tried a bouncy seat? That worked really well for my son. He slept in bed with us until he was 6 months old, but he napped in his bouncy seat.

Try using a sling or wrap carrier, it will REALLY help alleviate the strain on your arms and back and keep your son close to you and "held" until he falls asleep. If you use a ring sling, after he falls asleep you can loosen it and lay him down while you slide the sling over your head and lay it on top of him like a blanket... baby carriers were my saving grace in the first 17 months of my son's life! Yes, nights were tough and it sometimes was inconvenient to have to put him to sleep for every nap, but now he's three years old and sleeps 12 hours a night without a peep, and we never let him cry it out! You do not have to be harsh with your baby to "teach" him to sleep - parenting is not meant to be convenient - it's the hardest job on earth... but so worth every moment! :)

I went through the same thing with my first and after six months I decided to let her cry. After only a few nights she was sleeping through the night and also falling asleep on her own. It is important for your child to learn how to self soothe. If you consider that you are doing your child a disservice it will be much easier to help the child learn how to fall asleep. Good Luck!

My baby girl is 4 months old and will also not go to sleep on her own. She loves the comfort of me rocking her to sleep and nursing. Then I am able to place her in the crib. It's great to know that I am not alone on this journey. I use the 5 S's from The Happiest Baby on the block book and that has really helped to comfort her on so many levels. I would recommend this book to help through this difficult time.

Babies this young need the support of their caregivers. They tell us when they are cold, hungry...I do not believe in the cry it out theory when they are this young. I use the SHHHH technique to help them through and in the end researchers say that you will have a baby that trusts you more. They are still adapting to the outside world at this stage.

N. H

I LOVE the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" by Dr. Mark Weisbluth. He teaches you how to look for "sleep signals" so you lay your baby down at the optimum time for them to fall asleep easily. I have twin daighters so it was essential I get them on the same schedule and this book saved my life. They are 4 now and I still use it!

Hi D.,
I feel for you! I have a 3 month old baby girl who is the same except I can't put her down, she'd be screaming within 5 minutes usually less. The sling really helps, I go on hour long walks with Sofia asleep in the sling. I know that you have to go back to work so you may want to look into the book "The No Cry - Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. I've only just started so I can't say that it works, but her suggestion make sense and the ones I've tried have so far worked. Other Mommies recommended it to me. I hate the thought of a baby having to cry it out. Three months is still so young, they don't really have the self -soothing techniques needed at this age to cry it out!
Good luck to you darling!
S.

I have read soooooooooo many books on sleeping and it is critical at this age that you get him tired and let him learn to fall asleep on his own. I didn't like when my baby cryed either but it was only a couple days and now I lay her down (19 months) she waves asks for music and has learned to fall asleep on her own. Do it now it only gets harder!! He will not be mad at you I promise!!

Good Luck

Hi D.,
My son is the same way, he is four months old and likes to fall asleep rocked. What I do, is rock him a bit, then put him in his swing in the slowest mode. I stay next to him until I see that he is almost gone, then I leave hime alone. Once in a while I need to push the swing so he can fall back asleep. I usually have slow music on that I sing to, so no matter where I am in the house, the music keeps him company.
good luck and hope this help,
ceci

Hi there!
I agree with Crystal about "Healthy sleep habits, happy child". It is the best sleep training book. You will soon be hitting the four month mark and that is the perfect time to start. Right now do what you need to do to get your baby to sleep but when you start training him you will have to let him cry. I know it is hard to listen to and five minutes seems like hours, but just remember that it is not hurting him. You know that his diaper is clean, he is fed, and he is safe in his crib. Crying actually helps the lungs become stronger and he will learn how to sooth himself. That is most important. When it gets hard to listen to him cry, step outside to help deafen the noise or try to lose yourself in a movie or tv show. The book will help a lot. It will be hard at first, but will be the best thing you could do for you and your son. Just imagine having a set nap schedule and routine and being able to put him down and he just rolls over and go to sleep without a fuss. Good luck to you.