SLEEP -- CIO Day 2

Here's what I learned ... let him lay down for a while in the day time when he is not sleepy in his crib so he gets used to that area. Maybe try for 10 minutes. Do this a few times a day and in the evening as well so he can get used to it when there are different light levels. Make it a happy time for him to be in his crib. As he gets used to it the crib will nto be such a scary place for him. Also have you tried to give him a little cereal yet? I would introduce that in the morning and right before he goes to sleep at night. A full belly helps them to sleep a little better!! Hope this helped!!

Have you read "The NO Cry Sleep Solution" or anything by Dr. Sears? You might want to pick something up soon.

Children especially infants and toddlers cry when they need us. The CIO phenomenom was invented by men who do not have the maternal instinct. In the olden days how many parents read books to learn to parent their OWN children or let their babies cry it out. In my opinion letting a child CIO is selfish and cruel. But that is just my opinion.

Yes, yes your child will eventually learn to sleep through the night and lets face it that has to be good for you. However, that child will probably feel inadequate, insecure, mistrustful and question your love as they mature without fully knowing why.

I believe at the age and after the age of two most children begin to sleep through the night anyway. Only in the American culture to parents let their babies cry it out. If you investigate other cultures and countries co-sleeping and attachment parenting is a huge part of the families lifestyle.

Ofcourse you need your sleep that is why MOST parents make comments like "I didn't start getting a good nights sleep until my child turned two".

I think other moms who have done the CIO method need a validation for their choices so they will tell you to let your baby cry all night long. None of us want to feel that we are mistreating our children, because we love them. But dear mother I believe you need to follow your heart, I think you already know what is best for your baby and family.

God Bless you all of you.

You're being super diligent and caring with your sleep training. "Cry it Out" is a harsh term for a non cruel thing. They should call it the "Let your child learn to feel secure and happy falling asleep alone" method. the crying is temporary, and he will adjust. It's no fun to hear crying, but just remember, you know he's fed, you know he's dry, you know he's safe, you know he's not in pain, you know he's gotten loved up all day long, and this passes. Usually after just a few nights if you start early enough, and then you will see how happy he is from now on. I just walked away and didn't look back with both my kids after a nice bedtime routine, and they both have fallen asleep on their own easily in their own room since birth. The more you do, the more he'll need, so just be firm and set the routine how you need it. YOU NEED SLEEP. I recommend even less soothing etc. You're doing a fantastic job, he'll adjust soon! And yes, the formula helps a lot at night. Also, feeding him as much as possible all day long, not just at night, will make him sleep longer at night-through the night actually at this age. Stuff him full of food all day, and walk away at night! You'll be grateful soon when he's an independent sleeper!

absolutley! keep up the good work...
OH and do NOT put your child in bed w/you.....
You WILL regret it.
(not a fan of cosleeping)

I am going through the same problem. My son who is 11 months old goes to sleep fine, but wakes up in the middle of the night. My problem is that I bring him in bed w/ us once he wakes up.
My daughter whoi is 7 yrs old now, was the same way. I let her cry in out. I took a few nights, but once she realized that she was going to stay in the crib, she accepted it and each night got better. Now, if I can just get enough courage to do this for my son, we would all get a peaceful nights sleep.

Hi I am a mother of 4 boys 12,10, 7, and 1yr. I understand your lack of sleep. I have learned that it has been best to get our baby on a time schedule. Our first son we held and rocked all the time and when I went to lay him down he would screem and cry and I would pick him up because I felt so bad when he cried. Now on #4 son we have learned that a schedule is best and when it is nap time or bed time I just lay him down and walk out of the room and it has been great. At first he cried a little (I started this at about 6 months) but now at 1yr he is soooo easy to lay down. I also nursed him up till he was one (he turned 1 in June) I also supplamented formula. Most of the time he would fall asleep while nursing and I would lay him down. Over all a little bit of crying is fine you are his mom and can probably tell the difference between a tired cry and a I am scared, or hurting cry. Dont let guilt get the best of you. If you can get some great rest the whole house will reap the benifits.

J. mother of 4 fabulous boys

I did let my son CIO but not until he was 1 year old. I think that 6 months is a bit too young. Also, since you are nursing your son, it is not uncommon for him to actually be hungry at night. Breastmilk is metabolized so much faster than formula. Maybe you could supplement his last feeding before he goes to bed with formula so that it will be heavier on his stomach. Good luck.

Yep. Been there, done it. And I couldn't imagine my life having NOT done it. I started when my daughter was nearly 5 months. It took maybe 3-4 days for us to get it down. She's been sleeping through the night -- REALLY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT -- ever since. My husband and I "start the proces" (bath, stories, night-night) at 7:45 and by 8:10-ish she's in her crib. We put her down awake and she falls asleep on her own. True, there are some nights where she wants us to stay, so she'll start to cry, but that crying ends by the time we make it down the stairs. I'm serious. Then she wakes up at 8:00 am.

The only glitches we run into, as you will as well, is when your son starts to get teeth. And it's funny, because we know she doesn't wake up, so when she does at 2 or 4, we look for a tooth within the next day or two. And voila! There it is. I do go in when this happens and give her teething tablets and Oragel and lots of hugs and I sing her a song. Then when she's calmed down she goes right back into her crib, awake, and she goes to sleep on her own.

I bring all that up to tell you to stay strong when your son teeths. I have a girlfriend, granted, she didn't do CIO, who is up for long stretches of the night with her nearly two year old claiming, "Oh, she's teething." So what does spending half the night up rocking her going to do? Whatever.

I wish you continued luck with CIO. Stick with it. We have a VERY happy baby who, despite in the past having left her to CIO in specific, short spurts, she loves me to death. She's happy during the day -- perhaps because she gets the sleep necessary to function! And I'm much happier too!

T. :)

PS - If you haven't already because you just heard about CIO, I suggest you pick up Ferber's How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. Reading through it and understanding why you're doing what you're doing will take away any guilt you are feeling. As Ferber says, we need to learn how to sleep. We aren't born with that innate ability. Definitely pick it up and read it!

G.,
We did CIO at 6-7 months and he sleeps 12 hours every night now. The first night he cried for 45 minutes and I went up to reassure him after 10 minutes. Then waited 15 etc... the next night he just fussed for 15 minutes and ever since that he has slept. Because we nurse or bottle feed they get used to eating and basically have a habit now of wanting to nurse or have that bottle. I gave him a full bottle before bed then knew he would be just fine all night and he was. So it is basically breaking a habit. I am not sure about nursing and if it makes a difference with CIO, as we bottle fed. I too was so tired as I didn't sleep much my last trimester and then he had colic and by 6 months after trying everything else, that is what worked for us. Now it was hard to hear him cry and heart breaking but it was for every ones good and he is healthy and happy and well rested now!
Good luck and hang in there relief is in the future!
Chris

I know how hard it is to make the decision to CIO... We just recently did it with our 7 month old. (We've previously used CIO with our two older children and they are great sleepers now) The second night is always a bit harder than the 1st. Our daughter slept from 8pm to 7am on the 4th night! I say stay consistent and your little boy will be a great sleeper soon! My daughter is currently waking up around 5 or 6am to eat and then goes back to sleep until 8am. In a few weeks I'm going to try to let her CIO through that feeding. My pedi gave me some advice about CIO... If you are giving your baby enough love and affection during the day, then crying for a while at night will not emotionally harm him. I hope your next night goes better! GL!

Hi. It sounds like you are right on track. It took my guy three days to get the hang of it. Like one other response said, you will have set backs that require mini sleep training sessions. But, your doing the big sleep training now and it sounds like its going great. It one of the hardest things to do, but it will be the best for you child and you. Stick with it and keep consistent. I used "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" I highly recommend this book. Although I have developed my own system for my child, this book gave me confidence and reassurance during different stages. Good luck...sleep well

I am not currently doing the cry it out method but I did use it for my son who is now 8 yrs old and is the best sleeper I know. He has no problems sleeping on his own. He is an early riser so we put him to bed early and he has no problems getting himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. I don't know what method is the best method but I used the CIO method and it worked great for us. I didn't let myself feel guilty about him crying because I knew it was better for him in the long run to learn how to sleep on his own. And it was better for me...if I didn't get my sleep I was no good to him the next day so we were all happier.

I am probably not the one to help you, but to me, letting him cry it out sound stressful for both of you. I am all for giving them what they need at this young age. I nursed all four of mine until well over a year. Some slept throught the night, others didn't. I tried not to stress about it and give them what they needed. (Don't get me wrong, I was pretty cranky at times.) The only thing I didn't do was hold them until they fell asleep.

What might help is a betime relaxation ritual. A warm bath, some reading or soft music, nursing until they are almost
asleep and then lay them down.

For the middle of the night my sister in law used an electric blanket to warm the bed while she nursed or bottle fed so she wasn't laying the baby down on cold sheets. (The blanket was removed completely from the crib!!)

He will eventually not have this problem as long as you keep trying. I know it is hard on you now because you feel like you will never have peace again at betime, but it will pass.

Nursing moms will tell you, they get back to sleep faster if they just nurse in the middle of the night instead of letting the child cry it out.

MOST IMPORTANT... Do what is most comfortable for you and your child. Read the advice and do what you fell will work best.

Good luck!

You will sleep again.

H.

Hi! Just wanted to let you know to hang in there! We have 2 girls, 16 months apart. With our first child we did not do the CIO method. She was and still is a horrible sleeper!! She still wakes up at night and wants to sleep with us. Our second daughter did let CIO and to this day she sleeps through the night every night. If she wakes up we know something is wrong like she is sick or something. She is soooo great at putting herself to sleep and it is sooo great to be able to put her down and know that is will fall asleep on her own.
I think every child is different but I can definitly atest to how great the CIO method worked for us. I wish we would have done it with #1!!!!

I did it and it is soooo hard. Much harder than anyone thinks. We who let them cry it out are doing a great thing not only for ourselves (i.e. finally getting some sleep) but also for our children (letting them learn how to self sooth). It will get easier and he will stop crying to get back to sleep soon. I totally support you and hope it continues to go well for you.

I did the same thing with my son. My husband had to make me stick with it. It is so heart wrenching to hear your little one cry. Be consistent. Due to a lot of medical problems on my end my son slept on my chest for the first 4 months of his life. I didn't move much from the lazy boy and he stayed right there with me. It is really hard to do but probably the best thing that I did. It took him about 3-4 days to sleep 6-7 hours straight. He has been on the same routine since and he is 27 months old. I was so sleep deprived by the time we started I was sleep walking into his room thinking he was crying. Put your heart at ease and know you are doing the right thing. Take care and get some sleep, you deserve it!

DO NOT FEEL BAD for letting your son cry it out!!! I have an 8 month old son...I've been letting him cry it out since he was 3 months old. He is the world's happiest baby, and is so curious, and usually hates to go to sleep. So a lot of times he will cry (when we first started it was the same as you...for an hour or so, but I stuck to it because I needed my sleep - my husband is deployed with the Army and I'm at home by myself with my son.) Your son will get the hang of it and he will understand how to soothe himself, and know when it is time to fall asleep. Also, somebody told me (and i truly believe this) that babies need to cry. So whether its during the day, or at night, do not feel bad!!! Keep it up and you will be SOOOO happy you did! My son will go to sleep anywhere and is not needy at bedtime (unless he is teething, which is a whole other animal!!!) Good luck!

This is going way off of what you might be looking for but I'm going to suggest it anyway. Try co-sleeping, it's great for mothers who are nursing. My daughter uses a co-sleeper and whenever she wakes up, I don't have to get out of bed, I can reach over and pick her up to nurse or reassure her and she goes back to sleep, it's much easier and more peaceful then letting your baby cry it out in their own room. There are a lot of other effective methods out there that don't involve ignoring your child's cries. You need to decide what is best for your child if you think crying it out is good for your child then continue what you're doing, if not then know there are other solutions out there. Good luck.

Hi

I have done cry it out with both of my kids, my daughter is 1 and my son is 3 1/2. It sounds like you are doing great and he is starting to get the idea. Don't give up now because it will only make it more challenging to get a sleep routine going again. I'm not sure what advice to give about nursing becasue both of mine were formula fed and at the point I started sleep training they were not getting a bottle overnight. Hang in there, it shouldn't be much longer now before you have a good sleeper!

Don't feel bad about letting your son cry it out. You are doing the right thing. It may take awhile until he gets into the routine. However, I do have a suggestion for you. Do not go in to check on him. Every time you walk into that room, you are reinforcing the idea to you son that if he cries, you will come running. That is not teaching him to calm himself. It is necessary for your son to learn how to calm himself. So hang in there and know that you are doing the right thing.

I hope you have better luck than I..it already sounds like you are! I am currently doing the CIO method for nap time. I have a 10 month old who within the past month refuses to take a nap in her crib. She used to go down no problem but not lately...and yes I do think she is teething but no naps for a month!?!? I started the method by checking in on her but learned that only angered her more and caused her to cry harder and harder. So now I just let her go at it. The problem is she can cry FOREVER!!!! I envy the mothers who say their babies "got it" after 2-3 days because after a full month by daughter does not nap any better. However, if we are in the car or if I fall asleep while feeding her and she zonks too then she will nap for an hour, so I know she is tired. Everyday, I say "this day will be better!" I do have to say, other than this difficulty with napping, my daughter is truly wonderful and a very happy, pleasant baby...I just know she would be even more so with a bit of sleep!
J.
She does by the way sleep through the night and go down for bed without difficulty. Thank goodness for that!

I think that this is the hardest thing in the world to do. My daughter is teething and is getting up all the time at night. She used to sleep right through the night until about two weeks ago. My boyfriend and I are unfortunatley getting her up, changing her, sometimes giving a bottle, and rocking her back to sleep. When we lay her down she starts to cry again. Her voice is very hoarse from screaming, we try to let it go and let her in there but her little voice is so pittyful we both go in and get her. I am not sure if the CIO method works but I have been trying to keep to it, but easier said then done. Good Luck

Crying it out sucks, but it does work for many kids. I used variations of this method for all 3 of my kids. By the time #3 came along (he'll be 3 in Sept), my variation involved being so exhausted that I literally slept through his crying after checking the video monitor. All 3 of my monsters are good sleepers now, so if you can keep in mind that this will eventually pass, you may relax enough to get better sleep (not more!) while this is going on. Good luck to you.

.

Hi there!
I did the Sleepeasy Solution ( a version of CIO ) when my baby was almost 5 months. It sounds like you're doing great so keep doing what you're doing!!! Being consistent is the key. The first couple of days are the hardest but it does get easier. Your little one won't remember this time in his life so don't worry- he is safe in his crib and you are right there. You will be so grateful you stuck it out...and it really is best for them to learn to sleep on their own earlier rather than later.
Keep going!! Best of Luck. If you need to vent or just need some support feel free to send me a private message!
R.

Unfortunately, you are dealing with what most parents deal with when first doing CIO. i can tell you didn't read the Ferber book, and are just letting your baby cry. Although we all call lit CIO, really, it's not that harsh.

You should put your child to bed, after doing the night routine, and leave for a set time period. I started with 3 min.

after 3 min of vigorous crying (not whining), go in, reassure him, and leave. this time, wait 5 min.

if after 5 min he is still crying, go in. reassure him (NO picking up) and leave within a min.

This time wait 10. go in after 10, same reassurance, and leave.

Until he sleeps, go in after every 10 min of vigorous crying. remember whining and quieting down are what you want at first, to teach your child to put himself to sleep.

Then, night 2, you start at 5 min, and work in intervals to 15.

this goes on, increasing each night until you don't need it.

6 months is a bit early do try this, but it has worked out for many parents at this age.

best of luck, and really, I highly suggest getting the book Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. it helps so much to understand WHY this works and also how a child's sleep patterns vary drastiadly from an adults.

HOPE THIS HELPED!