Sleep Advice Needed Badly!

Maybe she is not tired. Is she taking long naps. You could try going for a walk or playing at the park for a while after dinner to help make her more tired sounds like she is just not ready for bed. Good luck.

By the time my son started recognizing numbers we would have him look at the clock. When the clock said 7, it was time to get in the shower. When the clock said 8, it was time for bed. This way he knew what to expect, it created a routine for him, and he didn't take it as us being the bad guy..... it was just time for bed. It has worked perfectly ever since we started.

I too am the mother of a very stubborn and opinionated child. I actually find it quite a blessing. My first child always changed her mind based on what I wanted. She is a teenager now and I worry. So enjoy that part.

As for sleeping, you have already gotten good advice. Your routine sounds great, just take the TV away a little sooner. They are always afraid they are going to miss something. Maybe if you and your husband also "got ready for bed" at this time. Put pajamas or sleep clothes on. Brush your teeth with her. And give her plenty of warning that bed time is approaching.

Also, can I ask what yogo you do with your daughter. I think it would be great to add that to our nightly routine. Is there a kid friendly yoga program you would recomend?

Thanks

PS...Stay strong, they do outgrow some of the anxiety surrounding bedtime. However, so of it will never go away. My daughter still tries coming up with excuses not to sleep and she is 4.

Hey H.,

Try a small water fountain, they also have once with rain sounds, forest sounds and bright colors.....sometimes they need something to calm their minds and bodies!! My son had the same problem and it worked real well!! Good luck!!

V.

Maybe you can "skip" the other ideas and just go straight to the particular book, yoga, and meditation? Good luck

Google the "sleep lady". She has a lot of good advice for helping to teach our children to put themselves to sleep.

TV can stimulate your child instead of relax her, so I wouldn't continue with that. I'm glad you don't want to let her cry it out! I heard that "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley is excellent. The yoga and meditation is a great idea!

I am also a working momma of an almost two year old girl. She always slept well until recently. Until now, she went through the occasional stage in which she cried at bedtime and we would do a modified version of the CIO method to get her back to her usual routine. It always worked.

This time the CIO wasn't working. Three weeks went by and she was still throwing tantrums at bedtime. I couldn't take it anymore so I decided to reason with her. I told her that it was time for bed and I wasn't going to come back until morning. I repeated this over and over, explaining about bedtime and that this time crying was not going to work. I would not return. Important to note that I spent about 10 minutes talking to her while she sat in her bed whining.

Determined not to return, I left the room and she screamed for 10 minutes then nothing. the next night, i did the same thing and she cried for only a couple of minutes. last night, she waved to me as I walked out of the room

Reasoning worked! They are smarter than we think at this age and she was simply trying to dictate the rules.

Hi H..
For my daughter, who has just turned 2 a few weeks back, it's all about choice. She is amazingly independent and opinionated for someone so little! Someone once said to me that if I just hoisted my opinions and decisions on my children, I was bound to get a riotous reaction. She likened it to me reading a good book and then someone coming and taking it out of my hands and putting it away, perhaps out of my reach, telling me it was time to eat dinner. I would be furious! Her suggestion was to always 'warn' my children of what is coming....the '2 minute warning'....so, 'in 2 minutes, we're going to pack up your books and toys and we're going to go upstairs and run a bath.... in 2 minutes we are going to pull the plug out of the bath and get out and into pyjamas....

From that point, it's about choice.... 'in 2 minutes when we've got your pyjamas on, shall we read a book, or shall we do a puzzle?'...'when we've finished this book/puzzle we are going to snuggle down for sleep, and in the morning we'll have to decide what to wear when we get up... '

I hope you get the gist of it, and I hope it helps! It really worked for me, and my two children (2 and 5 years), and my husband!?!?
Good luck!
C. x

I would avoid letting her watch tv... it stimulates the brain especially in children. Why not have her color or do something quietly. Tell her that she needs to get ready for her night... or how about taking a warm soothing bath with some lavendar -- they make bath soaps with them just for kids now. Check for California Baby I know they have it at Target.

H.,

Very age appropriate. What you are doing...reading, yoga, soothing, rubbing back is perfect. Also, maybe a bath might calm her down. Don't let her cry it out, help her learn to self soothe by you soothing her like you are doing. Right now, she doesn't have the tools to do it herself. Crying is the only way she knows to soothe herself. Unfortunately, it's really hard on the parents.

V.

Read Parenting with Love and Logic, FANTASTIC book! Helps with SO many issues and this is one of them.

TV is terrible for anyone's brain at night, especially children. The light flashing is not good for eyes...read or lilsten to music instead. Your yoga sounds EXCELLENT, good for you! Maybe you're waiting too long to start the bedtime routine. WHen they get over tired, they get frantic and don't know what to do.

I feel for you! I would suggest that you take a look at Dr. Harvey Carp's "happiest toddler on the block" He teaches how to prevent and respond to tantrams and it is amazing the results. He has a book and also a DVD by that title so you can take your pick (I prefer a DVD because I get the needed info quicker and I can see what is being done not just read about it).

I hope that this problem is short lived!!!

Hi H. -

Boy, bedtime can be tough! I'm guessing she's anxious about her experience when you tried letting her CIO - no judgement, just a thought. Also she's likely picking up on any anticipatory anxiety on your part, since by now you're likely expecting the trouble at bedtime.

I love your calming routine -- sounds like truly a lovely way to go to sleep! Maybe try doing all those things before you even say anything about bedtime? It would help both you and her approach the dreaded transition time in a more tranquil mood.

Good luck and sweet dreams,
Colleen

This is going to sound wierd...but here goes: Blame bedtime on the clock. Tell her that you were having fun with her and you wish you could keep her up and continue to have fun, but the clock says it's time for bed. It may not work first thing because you have already had problems, but stick to your guns. Make the clock the "bad guy".

One thing I read is that TV stimulates the Pineal Gland, which sends a signal to the brain to "WAKE UP", so TV should always be avoided a few hours before bed. I've also read that TV is shown to be detrimental to kids under 3, because their cognitive development needs hands on learning experiences to learn from.

My daughter in law SWEARS by Dr.Marc Weissbluth's advice - and her kids go to bed, stay in bed, and it works for her:
http://bookstore.mysleepcenter.com/n_###-###-####.htm
There's also more good advice here:
http://www.gomommygo.com/obey_plan.html#terribletwos

Hi H. -
Sometimes we give our son (he's three) a small amount of Melatonin (1mg or less), which is over the counter and naturally occurs in the body. It helps to make him sleepy but is not a sleeping pill. Babies sleep more than adults because they have more melatonin, and darkness and quiet help to raise melatonin levels in the body naturally. There's a really great CD called "Healthy Sleep" by Dr. Andrew Weil that helped me improve my sleeping and is applicable to kids too.

Good luck to you! - L.

Hi H..
How funny that I was just reading through the posts this morning, then I got an email from Parents.com and the main story in this morning's email is called, "30+ Tips for Stress-Free Bedtime - for Babies, Toddlers Everyone". I have not yet read the article, but I clicked on the link and this is the URL that came up, http://www.parents.com/toddlers/sleep/101/stress-free-gui... so maybe check this out and see if it can help. Personally, I have not really gone through this. I have two boys that LOVE sleep so I find I'm fortunate that way. The only time I find I get resistance with either of them at bedtime is if I start the bedtime routine too late. You might want to consider what time you're putting her to bed. Sometimes as working parents, we tend to want to keep them up a bit longer so that we can spend some time, but it just makes these tired little ones crazy tired. (I'm definitely guilty of that) I just hope that this article can give you some tips. Anyhow, good luck! :)
A.

try letting her know that if she acts that way that she will not get her routine. perhaps if she realizes that inappropriate behavior=no nightime perks, she will stop. when she begins to freak out, just calmly let her know that it not ok and if she doesn't stop that she will go to bed immediately. if she still doesn't stop, follow through with your warning and put her to bed. once she realizes that you're serious about her behaving, she will stop. don;t be surprised if it takes a couple of nights of her fighting you, she's just testing her boundaries to see exactly how far she can push you. if the crying really stresses you out that bad, go into another room where you can't hear it or do your meditation or yoga. DO NOT GIVE IN!!! this just reinforces that she is boss, not you. good luck, my oldest went through this and is now a happy sleeping camper.