Sleeping Issues with toddler...should I Seek Proffessional Help?

I have had allergies all my life. Sometimes I can't sleep and do not realize it is an allergic reaction. So my advice is to take him to a homeopath and see what it is that he can be given to help him be relaxed, allergy free and sleep all night.

My grandson had serious seizures for a few years. He was cured by homeopathy.
You can call the Naturopathic College in Portland or the one in Seattle to get the name of a practicing homeopath in your area. Take one who has been seeing patients for at least 10 years. No matter how good the education it is best to have the ten years of practice under your belt.

Try cranial sacral therapy. I think it is amazing and he worked really well for my son.

A couple of things have helped with my daughter, who also had the tonsil/adnoid/apnea issue.

No tv before bedtime.
Make sure she gets at least an hour outside a day to play and burn energy. More if possible.
Eliminate nap and have an earlier bedtime.

Your son may need the earlier bedtime and is having trouble sleeping because he is overtired/overstimulated.

Also, you can find a low dose of chewable Melatonin that can help reset their internal clocks. This was huge and our daughter would drop off very quickly at bedtime. We kept her on it for a couple of months after her tonsilectomy and now she goes to sleep easily without it.

Toddlers tend to fight sleep. There is so much that they are learning, that they want more. They are in the process of dropping/not needing the nap and this will keep them from being able to sleep. Remember when he was learning to crawl and he would occasionally wake because he was trying to do it in his sleep? Well, with so much cognitive learning at this age, they have a hard time shutting their minds off. (I too have had this problem most of my life.)

Try the low dose of Melatonin, we got ours at Fred Meyer in the healthfood/nutrition section. I don't remember the brand, but it had a purple label and was a minty, round, chewable tablet. Make sure it is a much lower dose than the adult versions. I think it was Nutrition Now and the dose was 500mcg. I'm sure that it was the only chewable melatonin that Freddies carries. You also may need to look at a couple of different stores to find it.

my 3.5 year old just started sleeping all night and he was always very restless like he couldn't turn off and would take hours to fall asleep and with him there was no crying it out he would cry all night if you let him. Our pediatrician put him on Melatonin to help him sleep and about 30 minutes after taking it he is sleepy and ready for bed and normally will fall asleep before we finish a story.

(I didn't read previous answers so I'm sure I'll repeat). I would eliminate the cartoon on youtube first of all. I noticed a big difference in the time it takes my 3yr old to fall asleep once we stopped the cartoons before bed. Now we only watch TV in the morning and maybe 30 min while I make dinner, but not right before bed. It stimulates their brains to be more active instead of calm down. Another thing I did with my daughter is I bought her a rechargable night light that she can keep in bed with her (amazon has a bunch, and they sell them at IKEA). It's a little owl and it is on for 30 min then turns off. I let her choose 2 board books to take to bed with her that she is allowed to look at with her owl after we do lights out. This has helped her have some control over when she actually goes to sleep (eliminating for the most part the power struggle aspect of it). Most nights she goes to sleep within the half hour. She knows how to turn the owl back on, but it still only stays on another 30 min so it's not on all night.

I also have stopped caving in to her bedtime demands. She would drag it out until 2am if she could (and used to try) but after a while I decided I'd had enough. She gets her owl and books, and if she continues to make noise or call out to me without good reason (has to pee, is hurt, etc.) I turn her owl to red (she likes it green which is pretty bright). If I have to go in a second time, I put owl back on his "nest" (charger) on a shelf. She wants to sleep with owl so this has proven to be a good deterent to her. She cried and threw a fit a few times, but I stuck to my guns and now just the threat is enough to get her to settle down. It's hard to be consistant when all you want is sleep but a few rough nights is worth a long term payoff.

We did everything at that age, too but with mine I noticed his mind was racing. He would come out of his bedroom at 1 or 2 in the morning and sob to me that he was trying to sleep and his brain wouldn't stop.
We took him to the Dr that was seeing him for his tantrums (Opp Defiant Disorder) and he suggested that he probably was suffering some ADD and told us to let him have 1mg of Melatonin over the counter before bed. But I would hesitate to recommend that to a child that has had the problems yours has because you don't want him to sleep through something important. It is something you can ask your physcian about...but before we tried that, we added into our routine a snack of plain yogurt. No toppings or syrups. The yogurt helps absorb any sugar still in the digestive system and settle them down.
It worked for us for over a year when he was a toddler before the sleep disturbances began again. Our nightly routine went: Bath, yogurt, bed time stories. (No television because especially if you can see it is his thoughts racing, that will only add to the problem)

At that age our son's sleeping got a whole lot better once his tonsils/adenoids were out. They caused him to snore very badly and that would keep him from getting a lot of deep sleep. He'd still wake up occasionally and come to our room, but it was a lot less frequently.
We'd do bath, jammies, brush teeth, 1st story (he'd sit on my lap in the rocking chair), then we'd use the bathroom last time, 2nd story (Dr Seuss Sleep Book was our favorite 2nd story) (he had to be in bed, I'd sit with him - it got his bed warm and he'd start getting drowsy - the idea was he should have no reason to leave bed at this point), then lights would go off (night light goes on) and I'd softly play his favorite CD of lullabies and sit in the rocking chair for awhile while he dozed off (usually hugging his teddy bear).
If you know it will take him several hours to settle down, start his bedtime routine earlier. Eliminate visual stimulation before bed (or watch the cartoon just before bath time). Also, try to wake him up same time every morning no matter how long it took him to get to sleep the night before. Have his nap time noon-ish, and try to have him running around and burn off energy right after nap time or early afternoon.
It's hard to find a good pattern, and there will be occasional set backs, but I think it will work out sooner or later. Try to nap when he naps to catch up on your own sleep deficit.

Hi. Children at 3 are usually hard to get to sleep as a rule. I would stop the tv, it stimulates part of the brain to keep him awake. Try using music instead, it uses another part of the brain. I have an add kid and use melatonin too. It helps, but I would definitely ask your doctor before using it since your child has had a seizure. If he is being quiet, and staying in bed, that is good. I would also turn the lights out when he goes to bed after reading the books.

As a sufferer of sleep problems myself, I can attest to the lingering effects of having slept badly for years.

I agree with the previous poster that mentioned getting rid of the cartoon. The light waves and motion from TVs and computer screens can be unduly stimulating. To some people more than others--I see the effect in both myself and my daughter.

It also seems like he might be going to bed a little late? I can't talk much, I can hardly ever get mine to sleep before nine. Which wouldn't be horrible if we didn't have to leave the house at six every morning!

I would check with his doctor and see if you can give him a little chamomile or peppermint team. The chamomile can be soothing and help him relax into sleep a little better. I only mention asking your doctor due to his medical history, though cham tea can cause some loosening of the stools.

Changing his bedtime routine is also a really good suggestion...but when you do, you need to live and love it for at least two weeks. I find, now that my daughter is a little older, it takes longer to implement meaningful change.

One thing I do is start darkening the house after dinner. Turn off unnecessary lights and start bringing the whole tone of the evening toward sleep. Have the sleeping area as dark as possible--I even had to move my alarm clock out of the room because I would wake up and stare at it all night.

Also, I am not opposed to laying down with my daughter if it means she goes to sleep faster and I get more sleep too!

my daughter could sit there in the dark and stay awake an hour. she never was a sleeper and is now 5 and still not a sleeper. sleep is one thing that really seems to fluctuate from child to child.

is he happy and well rested when he does wake up? is there any hyper activity going on? does he take naps? aside from all that, i would expect there is alot of residual effects from his prior experiences. i would think that all the medical issues may have affected his ability to fall asleep and soothe. but at the same time, i would be concerned about a completely separate medical issue or even a related complication from the seizures. it seems you have taken him everywhere i would.

what did the sleep study say? did he do the full study and fall asleep there? did they have any info at all? if the neurologist said all is well and not related to the sleeping, i would think the sleep study would have to have some suggestions. have you gotten all second opinions.

completely separate, is his day behaviour completely normal? there are no signs that maybe there is stress in his life? just thinking that sometimes sleep issues are from outside stresses the child may be experiencing. i could see how medical issues may be distracting you from noticing other issues. maybe just take him to a counselor just to rule anything else out?

i wouldnt worry about laying there an hour, but the 1-2 am is a bit much. the ONLY advice i will give is to get rid of the 5 minute cartoon. i know its only 5 minutes, but television is a stimulation for a child and the last thing you need is extra stimulation. also, make sure to watch his sugar intake. good luck, it seems you are doing everything possible to find the answer, and i feel for you knowing the unanswered is the most stressful. hope you find your answers soon.

I think you've received some great answers here.. The big reason you want to avoid tv/computer viewing in the hour or so before bed is because these screens radiate what's called a 'blue light' or "blue sky light"... it's this light that actually serves as a stimulant. It sends a message to the brain to become more awake and alert than it had been. Many adults with sleep issues are urged not to watch television/computers in the time before bed for this very reason.

His level of anxiety might also have to adjust. I imagine that if I regularly woke in the middle of a traumatic experience (as you've described with hitting his head and not feeling able to breathe), my brain would be on high alert at bedtime. It would have to relearn its relationship to sleep; that sleep isn't scary or life-threatening, but relaxing. The chamomile tea is one idea; another is to look into what sorts of massage or meditative techniques might help him. He may need a very long bedtime routine (long bath, then stories, etc.) with a longer storytime, some sort of massage or a chamomile pillow to inhale.

I'd also make sure he's getting enough exercise during the day, so that he can be tired. Is he still napping in the afternoons? Perhaps that needs to be cut down to a shorter time. Many kids actually do okay with a 20 minute power nap, but we adults are often needing time to get our own stuff done and let them nap much longer than necessary.

I also have a couple nephews who have used melatonin well--I'd just want to see a MD or ND in regard to dosage and how your son's body might use it, given his particular situation.

Good luck!

I hear your desperation, Tired Mommy. Boy, I'd be tired, too. And I'll bet your son is also tired, but doesn't know that there's any other way to feel, since this has been pretty much his whole life.

It might be worthwhile sharing your concerns with his pediatrician and asking what resources are available for children's sleep issues in your area.

Because his problems have been so extreme, I'd also be strongly inclined to seek out alternative approaches.

Chiropractic adjustments might be in order, to help relieve postural problems resulting from tense muscle habits – I speak here as a person who has had severe asthma problems all my life, and the struggle to breathe can cause severe neck, shoulder and chest tension that makes relaxing into sleep pretty difficult.

I've seen yoga recommended for kids, and a good teacher can make this really appealing. Yoga is another helpful path to physical and emotional relaxation.

Finally, I also have trouble sleeping if I've had ANY recent exposures to scented products or most common household cleaners. Since you've been working with his diet, you might also consider bagging up all air fresheners, scented toiletries, fabric softeners and soaps. Try an unscented detergent for dishes and for laundry, use baking soda and vinegar to clean everything else for a month or two and see if this helps.

I sure hope you arrive at a solution. Time may be part of it, since your son has spent most of his life struggling for his very breath at night, and only recently has that problem been relieved. He could very well need every possible assist in getting to a normal sleep pattern, since it sounds like he's never had that before.

One thing to try is CHANGING the routine. Since, after all, that routine heralded night after night of not being able to breathe or sleep, part of it now could just be pavlovian training (we ALL pavolov our children with the sleep routines).

So a thing to try would be to mix it up completely. In fact, make a BIG deal out of "Now that you can BREATHE at night, we're going to do a big boy routine!" (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with what you do... just to change things up enough so that his anxiety isn't triggered).

A few ideas:

- A warm bath
- A snack (warm milk, or hot chocolate makes a GREAT bedtime snack, because it helps sleep *and* keeps many kids who are growing during the night from waking up hungry).
- A massage
- Music
- etc.

Hi there,

So sorry to hear about all your struggles - sleep is critical for everyone in the family!

If the advice you got with the other responses (especially no media for an hour before bed, that is critical) doesn't help, OHSU has a Pediatric Sleep Disorders Clinic that could be very helpful for you.

Good luck,

D.

Try taking out the cartoon. It might not solve the problem, but it might help.

He also might be adjusting after all the recent changes in his life. If he's not distressed about being awake, then try to let your self relax as well. Sometimes they just need some time to get themselves ready for sleep.

Also, you don't say if the time is consistent, but having a fairly consistent time might help too. It's getting dark at a good time right now to tell his that it's getting dark so it's time for sleep. In a month, that will change, but if it helps you get to that point, then give it a try! :)

Sometimes it takes people a while to fall asleep. As long as he's in there and quiet, I'd count my blessings and leave him be. Just go to bed and get some sleep. You can't be at your best unless you are rested.
If you want to try some music... some soothing classical stuff without words that might work.
Good Luck...
LBC

Does he take a nap? If so cut it back. At about 3 1/2 is when I begin to phase out the daytime nap if they are up to much at night. Get him plenty of exercise and cut out the TV. TV can stimulate your brain and make it hard to slow down.