Sleep Advice Needed - Bolingbrook,IL

I think he's to young for CIO. Wait until he is at least 11 or 12 months (depending on weight). I also would not rock him back to sleep. That can cause an even worse habit. I would keep giving him the 2 oz of formula in the night for at least another 3 months.

L.
I'm am at the tail end of going through 3 months of no sleep and I thougth I'd pass on my experience. My 3rd child is 13 months old and at around 10 months she decided she didn't want to sleep anymore, (ever) :) I'll spare you all the details of everything we tried but I had the same rationalizations as you. It was so much easier to give her a quick bottle and she was back to sleep and didn't wake up our other 2 children. When we were up to 3 full bottles a night I realized is was crazy and started rocking her with no bottle. Then I found myself rocking her several times a night and I was a zombie. Within that 3 month period she got 10 teeth so I felt bad for her and naturally wanted to cuddle her.

In talking with the pediatrician, he said that around the 9-12 month age, children start to realize what it is to be alone. They wake up in the middle of the night and realize they are alone, they don't like that so they cry and in runs mom or dad (always mom in our house). Problem solved, they aren't alone anymore. So we started the tough love approach and let her cry. She SCREAMED from midnight to 6 am for 4 nights straight, I thought I was going to lose my mind. But after that 4th night she gradually slept more each night and cried less. Now she sleeps from 8-7 and I barely hear a peep. There have been a couple times I've had go in and hug her, one time per night, and tell her it's nite-nite time and she needs to lay down and go to sleep.

I guess I'm just preparing you to hunker down and get yourself ready to be the stronger one if your little guy has a strong will. It'll probably be rough for a few nights but well worth it. Good luck!

As long as he is getting adequate nutrition during the day, he does not need anything at night. I experienced first hand, how this can cause unnecesary waking. My first son would wake up 2-3 times a night until he was 3! He would be sleeping, but sitting up yelling, JUICY! Which meant milk, water, it didn't matter, it was a routine. With my second, I vowed that I would never give him anything at night,and he does not do this. So, what I am saying is they learn what we allow them to learn. Try letting him cry it out, if it doesn't work, rock him, but, don't give him a bottle!

My daughter just got over a cold. When she was sick, I did breastfeed her a bit more, but as she got better, I just gave her water. After a few days, she just stopped waking.

That might work for you too.

I am not a believer in CIO, so here's what I would recommend.

Try to just rub his back and then leave. Then return, pick him up, soothe (shushing, etc), then put right back down, rubbing his back. Does he take a pacifier?

If that doesn't help, you can gradually take away the bottle. You can give 2 oz of water, (or a combination lessening the amount of bm/formula). The next night give less, and so on until he gets nothing and realizes it's not worth waking up.

All children are different (and yet the same). Some give in sooner than others and therefore stop crying quickly. If you rock him, he''ll cry for that. Don't give hem any more ways to get your attention during the night. Tough love means after you check his diaper and make sure he's safe, LET HIM CRY. As long as it takes. Babies crash more quickly because they don't have the stamina yet. Older (6 months approx.) can cry for a couple of hours. If they are safe and dry, put the pillow over your head and go to sleep. You need your rest also for the next trial and tribulation that our little darlings provide us. Stay strong mommy.

Try changing his diaper and putting him back to bed when he wakes up. Maybe the change in routine will help him.

I would not rock him. My son at 2 1/2 started not to nap, so I rocked him. (for selfish reasons, I wanted a break). 2 years later I was still rocking, it takes a huge chunk of time, and clearly you need your sleep time too, especially if you have to get up and leave for work in the am! Babies need to learn to soothe themselves and fall back asleep on their own. The cry out method seems harsh to some, but many doctors recommend it. We did this at about 6 mos. and it took almost a full weekend. I was in tears and going out of my mind because I felt so bad, but the doctor warned me of what to expect. Good luck!

The rocking process could also start a 'new habit'. In other words he'll learn he won't get the bottle, but he will get time with mommy or daddy and be allowed out of his bed.

If you do the cry it out method you cannot go in there, except to lay him back down and cover him up/give him his fav. sleeping toy/paci. For the cry it out method it could take up to 45 minutes before he wears himself back out, but the more nights he's forced to go back to sleep on his own, the less it'll take to fall back to sleep. Just remember, the more you go in, the more he thinks he can convince you to 'give in to him'.

If you do the soothing method, then make him lay down and rub/pat his back. But I don't suggest picking him up.

Either which method you choose, it won't hurt to let him cry for 5 minutes before going in.

I totally understand, as a working mom of a 2 1/2 and 9 month old. My little guy recently got into the same bad habit. I went back to my "bible"..."Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." It said that waking up 1 to 2 times a night for feedings until 9 months is typical. If they go right back to sleep, then it is likely that they are hungry. If they resist returning to sleep when placed back in the crib, its probably a bad habit and they want to play. There are options, like the one you are taking by gradually backing away. I, on the other hand, slept with a pillow over my head last night. My guy woke up twice, cried up to 10 minutes each time and fell back asleep. I suspect this will last 2-3 more nights and we will be done. Hope it helps. Good luck!

I don't think your son is too young to try crying it out. I think it's a good idea, especially if he's slept the night on his own regularly in the past.

When I let my kids cry it out, I would check back on them gradually - 5 minutes, return to offer "I love you, you're ok" and a brief back rub (without picking them up), then 10 minutes, then 15... they usually didn't cry past the 15 minute mark. I consider quiet fussing to be not crying. If for some reason they cried past the 15 minute mark, then I would go in to hold them for a while and then start over. This didn't happen often, though. I am all for crying it out, but I think 30 minutes of hard crying is enough for a baby. I'm personally not comfortabl with letting a baby really, really cry for hours on end. Like I said, a hard cry with silence, then "talking", then fussing isn't what I consider "crying". But, it's your call.

It shouldn't take more than two or three nights. I like to plan crying it out for weekends so that if it's a rough night, it's easier to get a rest during the next day. Or, and this could work overnight too, I love folding laundry while I've waited for my kids to settle down to sleep. It's distracting, productive and the time it takes to fold a basket of laundry is just about the time it takes until he'll need you to come back in for reassurance :)

And if you're worried about your son waking up, we usually put the humidifier on in our son's room and it muffles the cries quiet nicely.

It shouldn't be hard at all. It's been the best thing, in my experience, and it gets everyone what they need - sleep. You can do it!