Sleep Advice - Columbus, OH

H., I had this problem too, except my daughter slept in my bed with me. After trying everything under the sun I finally had to go cold turkey when she was 4. I put her in her room and would tell her to go to sleep. She would keep coming back in and I had to keep taking her back. It took hours, and tons of crying and screaming every night for a week. However after that week I've never had a problem. I put her in bed at bedtime, give her a kiss, and she's asleep in 2 minutes. I would tell you the sooner you can get it over with and get her in the habit of sleeping in her room the better, but it's going to be painful!!! Good luck!!

H.,

Considering your daughter is already pretty cooperative with going to bed, can't you just sit and read a book in her room for a short time until she falls asleep? Seems like she just wants the reassurance that you are there; it's a common fear with 2-yr-olds to be alone. When she is certain you are there, she feels confident and safe, and can rest.

I suggest just compromise with her a little and she will get used to the idea of sleeping in there with you in another room. Her fear won't last.

Best wishes,
K.

I just wanted to say that a lot can change in your daughter's development between now and then. You might try slowly inching farther out the door each night. At least you aren't only situation. I still nurse my 20 month old daughter to sleep in my bed every night. I'm trying to get pregnant so not sure how that will go. I don't mind having two in the bed but my 4yo and 7yo like to crawl into bed with us. That's when I move to another room.

Hello H.. I still experience this with my 4 y.o. If for some reason or another I let her sleep in our room, it takes me a month to get her out. However, when seh does not sleep in our room, she also does NOT sleep in her room. She sleeps on the floor next to the baby in the baby's room. One suggestion might be to move her out of your room and have her and the baby share a room. You could tell her that the baby needs her to be the 'big sister' and watch over her during the night. However, if you don't want the baby to sleep anywhere but in your room, I would gradually move your older one out now. Try moving her after she has fallen asleep, she will wake up in her own room and eventaully see that it is okay. Then, to get her to sleep in her own room, lay down beside her for a few min each night, read a story and love on each other. Eventually you will see that she will go to bed in her own room. There will be re-lapses and it will probably take several months for her to get accustomed to the change. Best of Luck!

Hi H..

I had something kind of similar... Similar enough that I think what we did may help. My son did NOT respond to cry it out at all ! Neither did my daughter.

But I came up with something that has helped. It is a longer process but in my opinion it is a loving method. Although every child is different and I recognize that.

I think there are two ways to go about this.....

One do this in your room first and then transition into her room with it, or to just make a BIG BIG deal about a Big girl bed in her new room. (Let her have input on paint color, decorations and maybe even let her help paint the walls, etc..

I started by getting to the point you are at.. In having the child get used to not cuddling until they are asleep. So you are farther than I was when I started.

Basically I stared by telling my child I would be sitting in the chair (placed a chair for me in the room) after saying goodnight. Progressively you scoot the chair closer and closer to the door. This can take days, or weeks. So be PATIENT. Remember you are creating a new habit and in most people that takes about 21 days. If she can and does get out of bed, quietly and without a lot of touching put her back in the bed. You can reassure her briefly that you will be in the chair. Then I would sit in the chair and not talk or make eye contact..less and less as time went on. Until eventually I said nothing after our good night routine.

Once you get to the point that she is comfortable and falls asleep with you in the doorway, you can start telling her you are leaving the room. Be prepared for resistance and you may need to move into the doorway again for awhile, but eventually my kids got used to that.

Then you can work on getting her into her room, if you didn't start there.

If you choose to take her into her room to start this, then I would actually snuggle and lay with her in the bed until she isn't scared of the new room.

My kids had issues with a new room...they were scared to be alone. We ended up with our daughter figuring out she slept much better with a dim light on. (not a night light but a lamp with a dimmer. We let her choose the new lamp and she loved that.)

Your daughter is still young so try and keep in mind that her whole life she has done bedtime in your room. So this won't be a quick process most likely. With my daughter it took several months, but in the scheme of things it was a short time.

Blessings.
M.

my son never slept in his bed until we got him a big boy bed. he was so excited to sleep in it. and we put a tv in his room. it was about the same situation. we could not get him to sleep in his own room. he wanted to sleep in his carseat in our room or with us. till he was about two. we got him a race car bed and tv and finally he goes in his room. we tried the cring it out also. did not happen. so we just gave up and let him sleep with us until i was pregnant. now he sleeps in his room. once or twice a month he does sleep with us and we let him. but we are ok with it.. it is funny because our second child loves his bed . i mean to the point i feel like i am abanding him . he will sit in his bed for hours and play during the day after his nap. and at night i put him in there after his storey and he sucks his thumb and off he is to sleep.

good luck
M. s

If you cannot move the crib slowly, try borrowing one to have 2 for a little while. Let her fall asleep in the one room, and once down, transfer to the other room. You will have times she'll wake up and be confused possibly, but if you do this consistently, I promise it will work. We have been there.......with bith boys, and it does work. Our youngest is nearly 4 and still comes up to our room occassionally. They seek comfort and reassurance. The other thing is, if you get this conquered now, you will most likely have a relapse one the new baby arrives. That whole competing for attention psyche, especially at her young age.
Good luck