My 27 month old son has been slapping people alot lately. He does it when he is mad at me or his dad and follows it with, "Bad dad!" or "Bad! Mom!". but he also seems to do it when he is excited and having fun to. We will be playing and having a great time and out of the blue, I will get slapped hard across the face. We tell him he cannot hit, we give him time outs, we have tried almost anything. He says he is, "sorry mom, sorry sister," but turns around and does it again 1 minute later. This is my first boy, and I am not used to his "rough and toughness." Is this something I should really be concerned with? Or do you think he will just grow out of it? Also he says that everything is his. My toys! My pillow! my House! My daughter was never possesive like this either. Has anyone else gone through stages like this? Any sympathetic ears would be appreciated. Please respond, especially if you yourself have gone through this. Thanks
Thanks so much for all your advice. He seems to be getting a little better, at least he seems to be a little more remorseful after he slaps. Most of all, it was niceto hear that others are having similar difficulties, and I am not alone. Thanks again!
My son will be 3 in March and he acts just like this. When he hits we tell him that he can not do it, and he understands because he tells his brother that he shouldn't hit because it's bad but he does it himself. He also refers to everything as his. When I clean he will even say "Mommy you cleaned my rooms for me, thank you". I think it's just a boy thing and the age that they are. I'm sure they will grow out of it.
It will stop. My three year old son went through this in his twos. We never told him his behavior was bad...we did however tell him it was "NOT OKAY" to hit somebody and used a very firm, low voice. He seemed to respond to this, and we were very consistent each time he slapped, never letting go unnoticed. You may explain to him that his hands are only meant for doing "good" things, like helping others, being gentle, etc...However, he will continue to test his limits with you. The only thing we can do as Moms is respond in a loving way. Take care and good luck!!
My daughter, who will be 3 in January, did this for quite some time. Now she has advanced to throwing toys and pushing people. Is he very verbal? The pediatrician told us this behavior tends to lessen as they begin to be able to express their frustration, excitement, etc. through words better. I wish I had an answer other than that as I'm pretty tired of issuing time outs, time ins, power sitting, suspending privileges, taking favored toys, teaching simple coping methods, etc. None of it seems to have a long term effect although there is consistently a consequence for those actions in this house.
As far as it being a boy thing, I think it has nothing to do with being male or female - my oldest daughter never did this and my son hasn't come into this age group yet but definitely has a very different personality than his aggressive sister.
Being possessive is definitely a stage I've seen with all my kids, both foster and adopted, and a long lasting one at that. As someone else suggested, teach him how to share, even if only at short intervals. Don't argue that something is not his - he won't fully understand that at his age.
Best of luck,
K.
Hi C., My son is going through that stage now also. He is 25 months old. I truly do believe that it is a stage b/c I know he does not see that behavior at home or when we are around other children. He is an only child so there are no fighting between kids at home and he goes to music class and gym class, each once a week. Both of those classes are pretty structured and I am with him at all times. I do not ever see any other kids around us slapping or hitting . So another words, it is not as if he pcked it up by seeing other kids do it. So I think it is a stage where he is trying to figure out his emotions and acting out instead of using his words. The other kids in his gym class are also at least 6months older than my son. So that gives me hope that sometime before 3 years old he will learn to deal with his emotions in a more positive way. At home whenever I hear "mine", mine"...I always try to emphasize that it is true that this is yours but that you can share too. for example, I would say , yes Fritz, this is your pillow, can mommy have a turn laying on your pillow? or can fritz share his pillow with mommy? Most of the time he says yes and I only "share" it for a few seconds and then say "thank you for sharing with mommy, that was very nice to do", b/c if i "share" for too long (1 sec longer) he pushes me off and says its his again or now its his turn. I look at the fact he said yes he would share was a good start and then maybe he will increase the time of sharing over time. Lots of patience and understanding that they are always learning something helps alot. Good luck! L.
Hi C.
I have a 2 1/2 year old boy and he does the same thing. He will slap or poke my face and then say sorry mommy...I think he does it out of excitement but I don't like it or approve of it. I try to tell him that it hurts and would he like it if I slapped him...and he would say no. My thought is ...when he sees me slap his hand if he does something very wrong...he takes that as if he can do it to me too...so I try to deal with the situation as much as I can...and see if he grows out of it. Overall he is a wonderful boy...smart and polite. Take care.
Hi C.. Boys are a little different than girls. They are a lot more aggressive and possessive. My little boy says everything is his too. My little girl never hit anyone, but both my boys did. You will probably have to be a lot more stern with him when he hits you. Take hold of his hand and squeeze it when you sternly tell him he cannot hit you ever again. Look straight into his eyes and make sure he understands that you mean every word.Tell him that if he hits you again, you will take away his most beloved possession, and then you must carry through with that threat. Consistency is the key to everything when it comes to discipline. Good luck.
