Skinny 10Yo Boy Doesn't Want to Eat Until Bedtime

He is probably doing this for attention. Sit him down,explain that he needs to eat what is served for dinner or go to bed hungry. If you keep letting him get by with this behavior,by the time he is 12 he will be able to manipulate you into anything. Set rules and stick by them. If he does not eat dinner, do not reward him with snacks or staying up late. Try the reward system--if he eats,let him watch t.v. For 30 minutes before bed or give him a snack that is his favorite

Absolutely not. You are the one in control of dinnertimes. I tell my 4 year old, on nights when he's being a picky eater, that he can either eat what's for dinner or there are no snacks or anything else to eat until breakfast. If he chooses not to eat, than I never ever give in to him. It's his choice to not eat, kids know what will happen if they don't.

Definitely not! Stick to your guns. His Dad is right, he is manipulating you. A child will not starve himself. And now that he is in school, he will be eating lunch. I would insist he eat dinner with the family and any snacking done at least a half an hour before bed.
Also, I got my kids an alarm clock and told them at age ten they were old enough to get themselves up. If he doesn't get up with the alarm, make him go to bed 15 minutes earlier, and keep adding 15 until he does get up on his own.

I would offer meals at normal times and if he wants to eat he will. If he learns that he won't get to eat until morning if he doesn't eat, he will eat at normal times. If you give in and feed him late at night he won't eat during the day. Basically retrain him to eat when he is supposed to.

Our nine year old eats breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack. Every day. He weighs maybe 55 pounds. But he knows that he doesn't get snacks at unless he has eaten a healthy meal when it was served. He never misses snack. We only do healthy snacks. So he has learned that to eat snacks he must eat real food. I don't make him eat a huge portion. But I don't let him nibble either.

If he misses eating at night, I would offer a large meal for breakfast. See if that doesn't help him some.

To speed up meal times we don't let him watch tv or read or do anything until his food is gone. That has helped tons! Good luck!

Chances are he's just using the "I'm hungry" to stay up later. You may want to try telling him 30 mins before bedtime that he can have a snack, but he's not staying up late to eat. Also, if he doesn't eat a meal, he doesn't get a snack. When I was growing up, you ate what was fixed for you. If you didn't like it, you didn't eat. I know it sounds harsh, but we don't have a picky eater in our family. We all like vegetables, meats and fruits. You could talk to his pediatrician about a meal plan that will help your son gain weight. More proteins, complex carbs and less sugar will help put some meat on him. Good luck!

Hi J.. To me it sounds like Control issues, that your son wnats to control when he eats, how he eats, and what he eats. I don't personally prepare meals that I know all of my children dis-like, but I have a family of 6 and not every one likes the same thing. So, you eat what I fix, or you wait until breakfast. I am having my own bedtime problems, it's too hot, its too cold, blah blah blah...that is what I tell my kids. It is 9pm goodnight see you in the morning. However, if they did eat their supper, I will let them have a little bowl of Cherios or something to take to bed with them. Not the best idea b.c of bugs, but it takes away their 'control' of can't go to bed b.c I am hungry. Also, all children go through growth spurts where they won't hardly eat and then big out the next month. So part of it could be a phase, but having to eat at bedtime sounds like a power struggle for control. Best of Luck

My son went through this. It is a manipulation thing. I decided to make the rule that as long as he ate what I considered an acceptable amount of supper, then he was allowed snacks throughout the evening otherwise, I would save his supper and he could eat that when he was hungry in the evening. I did explain to him though that there are no more snacks after he brushes his teeth. We have him brush about 15 min. before bed. This is also the time when he lays out his clothes for the next day and such. Make sure that your son has a heads up about things. Tell him, you have 1 hour until bed if you would like a snack. Then be firm. As you said, he does need his sleep. This is his way of getting to stay up later. Let's face most every kid wants to stay up later. Make sure that he is getting the proper amount of sleep every night. I also give my son some wind down time. He is sent to bed at 8:30 but can watch television in his bedroom until 9. He isn't allowed to play or anything. This really helped us a lot. He's a go go go kind of kid and needs that time to unwind. He just can't go from 100 to 0 in minutes. I hope this helps you. troubledmama

J. I had issues with my kids about this too and then one day I realized i was being manipulated- your 10 year old boy is smart and he is 10 years old he knows that to get you to let hims tay up ---he says he is hungry.

So provide him decent meals, give him a healthy snack at 8:30 before bed and then say good night. END OF STORY if you are still hungry eat more dinner tomorrow. Stop letting him play you.

Having a hard time waking up is due to not getting nutrients he needs and his metabolism being slowed down.. I wouldn't have him eat too late at night and if so it should be certain items. Can e-mail for a list of these.. ____@____.com His sleep for bone growth, HGH, and cell restoration is vital now so he needs to get sleep. (7-8 hours) Does he get that?
In the morning his meal is the most important. Protein shakes (with not a lot of sugar though..)eggs, bacon, whatever high protein cereals. That will help set his metabolism and set his system to make him want to eat later in the day. He can also too take Isotonic nutrition supplementation. Greatest delivery system of any health product. Taken in the morning on an empty stomach. 95-98% absorption of the nutrients he needs and might not be getting right now from not eating a lot. Greens are great too. Call anytime to discuss it all. My pleasure! T. Scheckel, Nutraceutical Consultant with NutraMetrix.
Look up my profile and you can get my number. :)

Honestly, at 10 years, he will eat when he's hungry. He's capable of going to the fridge or cupboard and grabbing something on his own. Thus, I would simply let him know he will have to get up earlier and go to bed earlier. If he doesn't eat at mealtimes or snacktimes, then he won't eat after bedtime. His body will adjust. Time for some tough love.

Additionally, if you think he needs more carbs and proteins, you could try putting "pre-made" snacks in the fridge. He might also try drinking protein shakes... just use about half or a fourth of the suggested amount.

Hello, Sorry I can't offer advice on this one because I have a 4 year old who does the same thing!!! For example we had chicken, baked potatoes, and veggie for dinner last night. We warned her " this is dinner, we will not be eating later! " She still did not eat and close to bed time sure enough "I am hungry " I do wonder if it manipulation also to delay bed? I feel so bad though and can't send her to bed thinking she is hungry. Sometimes she will eat cereal before bed, last night she had mandarin oranges and pretzels before bed. I think my daughter's problem might be she is forever on the go during the day and at night she finally settles down. She does not want to miss out on play time during the day to eat! I feel your frustration! Thanks for the question. Take Care and God Bless!

J.,
Take him to see his pediatrician. Something doesn't add up.

Godd Luck!

HE needs to help plan the grocery list and help shop. This way....he gets some things HE wants....AS LONG AS they are healthy. ENCOURAGE trying new foods and make SURE you do the same! NO...ABSOLUTELY NO "Yucks". EVERYONE tries a "courtesy bite" reminding them that they don't have to like it but they won't know unless they try.

If they still balk, ask them about something they like. If they like it.....how do they know......they tried it, of course.

Allowing kids to be involved DOES help. Talk about the nutritional value of foods.....why your body needs protein, why good carbohydrates, etc.

DO NOT feed the child high carb meals at night! THIS IS A MAJOR REASON PEOPLE CANT GET UP THE NEXT MORNING. Don't allow him to eat a bowl of cereal before bed. Protein, vegetables and limited whole grains.

Let him help PREPARE. I teach nutrition and cooking to three & four year olds. THEY LOVE to be involved. I have a multitude of kids who've gone from very picky eaters to trying everything and wanting to be a part of planning, preparing, shopping, etc.

hard to get him to do it when he obviously doesn't understand the value. If he doesn't eat or fuel himself properly, he won't perform as well. If there is $$$ involved on your part....uniforms, fees, etc. I'd flat out tell him you're not paying for the program if he's not going to do his part to do his best. This also helps them understand they play a role in the success, not just by participation, but also in making good nutitional choices.

I DO consultation for moms, kids, & families too.

Does he need to be wormed? I know it sounds gross but we worm our pets, so it seems likely with our diets that it may be a good idea for us as well...Healthfood stores have info on symtoms of having parasites & some do blood testing to check & see if they're in your blood, which I was told they don't do at a regular doctor...Not to jump to conclusions, but one of the symptoms is lack of appetite. ??? I think you are doing the right thing by sticking to the rules & not letting him stay up late...With consistency, eventually he probably won't even think of asking & will eat at mealtimes. Blessings...

It does seem like this is a power struggle. My personal view is that children have their opportunities to eat in advance of bedtime and if they choose not to then they might feel a little hungry at bedtime and still have to go to bed anyway. He's going to keep pushing for you to give him his "special" eating time at bedtime since you let him do that for the summer. He's not going to be malnourished from going to bed hungry for a few nights. What he will learn is to eat at the time food is offered and the even more important lesson: personal responsibility for the consequences of his own actions.

My almost 9 year old does (or should I say did) the same thing. We don't struggle with it too much anymore but I feel your pain. For us, it was a power struggle. He was starting to feel more independant as a big brother with some new found freedoms this summer. He did not want to stop playing or doing whatever to come and eat. Lots of nights I had to fight with him to get him to eat. (He was even refusing to eat his favorite foods...all he wanted was snacks). But we stayed firm. We told him that he could not get up until he ate and he would not be offered anything else. (We had previously allowed him to have something else or to have some crackers. I like you did not want to be sending him to bed on an empty belly). It was a HUGE power struggle with some major manipulation on his part (he even would try and breathe really fast to make himself throw up-and he succeeded a couple of times). However, after a few times of sitting there until you "either eat or it's bedtime", fit throwing, and going to bed hungry...he got the picture. I agree with your hubby...you are going to have to lay down the law. He needs to eat to be able to do his cross country well. Try telling him this while you are doing the other stuff to help him understand how his body works and why he needs to eat. DO NOT let him eat junk. DO NOT make him whatever he wants every day or you will start him down the road on some bad habits. You don't want to be making him seperate dinner every night...lol. Teach him about good eating habits and why going to bed on time is also part of healthy living. Make it a whole family thing if you can so he doesn't feel isolated. Ultimately, you know what is best for him even if he doesn't believe you. You are doing a great job. Don't get discouraged. I hope this helped. E-mail me if you would like to talk some more. Good luck and God bless!

I have three kids and two of them are pretty picky eaters and eat only when they seem to want to. To put a stop to this, we have our dinner and the kids MUST eat with us. If they do not finish their dinner then it sits on the table until 9p. If they have not eaten it by then, then its thrown out (or the dogs get a treat!). We also give snacks at 830p so they know that if their dinner isn't eaten they don't get a snack. It doesn't always work but they quickly learn that we mean business and if they need some kind of substance after 9p then they can have water! I am a little bit of a pushover when it comes to not liking what we're eating, but I refuse to make anything else, so I do give another choice. A PB&J sandwich that they can make themselves.

The getting up is probably an age thing because we had to deal with that with our daughter at 10 yo as well, she outgrew it and at 12 gets herself up and ready for school now.

We also sat the kids down the night before school and went over all the new "school rules" so that they understand what is expected of them during the school week and we can't hear "I didn't know". I went as far as making a presentation for a family meeting listing all the rules!!!! It was more to keep them entertained, but also make them pay attention and it worked. They're not happy with the rules but they're important. You mentioned he was in cross country and needs to eat, so I would make sure he has a good breakfast too! Hope this helps!! Good luck!

Hi J.,
sometimes kids (well all the kids I've been around, babysat, taken care of or helped raise and even my own) all did things like this. Its the fact that they try to get out of going to bed. Its an excuse. I get the guilty feeling when I do send them to bed without them eating, but makes them think more times out of 10 that they should have eaten. My 2 older girls, ages 12yrs and 10yrs are the worse out of all of them. They eat all day long, skinny as can be, yet they still want to eat right before bed. I ask them this question..."Are you gonna die from starvation before morning?" I sometimes get the yes answer and most times I get the no...but the worse answer that I've ever gotten was, "But I can't sleep if I'm hungry, my stomach starts hurting and making noises that it keeps me up." So I tell them that they can have a few crackers or a fruit right before bed, than I don't hear anything else for the rest of the night. Good Luck!

I'm right there with ya. Only my son is 12 1/2 and he has CC practice right after school, 2 hrs. every day. So, by the time he comes home, dinner is done and he's starving. But in previous years he was the same way. I had to stop letting him eat a snack right after school (4ish) and started making him wait until dinner. He's a tiny guy too, so I felt bad, but he needs a balanced meal more than an afternoon snack, healthy or not. It didn't take long for him to decide that he would eat dinner for me whether or not he ate his afternoon snack. But I do know how you feel b/c my son only weighed 66 lbs,and was 4'7" at his physical this year. He is soooo skinny and eats everything in sight now. It will pass, but you have to be firm about meals and bedtime. Your hubby is right, our kids tend to try to do all it takes for us mommas to give in. ;)

Chiildren at this age begin to think that parents don't really know as much as, say their, school teachers or coaches. Is he having snacks during the day, if so try cutting them out completely. You might also be able to enlist the help of his CC coach by letting him or her know what is going on about your son's eating habits and ask them if they can let your son know, by teaching the whole team, about the inportance of eating well during the day, especially at breakfast. If your son begins to eat properly during the day and still is truly hungry an hour or so before bedtime then allow him a snack of fruit or veggies. Running cross country will require a need for more energy and if his practices or meets are late in the evening he will be burning off what he eats at supper. I somewhat agree with your husband that it is possibly manipulation from your son. One doesn't all of a sudden get hungry when it is bedtime, it is more likely that at bedtime there is nothing else to distract him so he can't ignore his hunger anymore. If nothing changes his eating habits then he should see his pediatrician to rule out any physical problems.

If you choose to give him a snack before bedtime, make sure it's a snack high in protein. Protein makes you feel fuller longer & maybe that will make him feel better & sleep longer.
You may be being played by your son, but a healthy snack high in protein is ok.
He has that choice, or no choice. You'll soon find out how hungry he really is.
Do not let him pick his own snack.
Make a list of OK choices, and he may choose from that. Nothing else.
Hope this helps.