My husband and I recently had our basement renovated. We are now ready to paint and pick out area rugs. We found one rug that we were able to agree on, but we weren't sure on paint colors. I asked his sister's advice because she is very artistic and redoes her house constantly. My question to her was, will some shade of blue or green work on the walls if I bring out the yellow in the rug using throw pillows? I also said that I do not want to paint the walls yellow because the entire upstairs is yellow. She came over my house and spent an hour looking at the room and decided that I should paint the walls a goldish yellow and off white. She then said said that I could bring in the blue with vases. SOOOOO... Here is where the conundrum is. Do I do what she suggests even though I don't really like it? My husband wants to take her advice because she is good at it and it might look good. My point is that I don't want yellow and she knew I didn't want yellow. Also what she is suggesting is very formal and this is going to be a playroom. I think a playroom should be somewhat fun and really shouldn't have vases. I feel like I asked he a question and she took over. She isn't doing it in order to take over, that is just her personality. She also helped him pick out a lot of the things for the house before we were married which makes me feel as though i live in her house. In hindsight I never should have asked for her opinion, but it's too late for that now.
I do realize that the decision is ultimately mine, but the bigger issue is really that my husband really wants to go with her idea. As much as you all say that yellow is bright and good for a basement, this yellow isn't. It's a dark gold mustard like tone. My husband is color blind, he doesn't realize this. My plan is to buy the small containers of the hideous gold yellow and some blue colors and see if I can convince him that way. I really only wanted her to find me a warm bluish color or bluish green color for me because what I had grabbed from Home Depot seemed too cool of a color. I feel bad that she spent an hour trying to redecorate my basement and I just don't like it. She also suggested I paint the bathroom gold, but I already repainted that and don't plan on changing it.
Tell her again that you really don't want yellow walls, you want blue or green and a less formal setting. Ask if she will help pick out the right shade of blue or green (period). The use the color she suggested for the pillows.
I'd say "ya know, I don't think I want yellow walls down here. Do you have any other ideas?" Yes, yellow might look good, but if its not what you want, you ultimately won't be happy. Don't pick something just because someone else says it'll look good.
You should ask her for other ideas. Yellow can't be the only color that would look good in that room. If she's so artistic as you say she is, she should be able to come up with alternate colors. Just tell her that yellow is the one color you don't want it to be since you have too much yellow elsewhere and that you want to try a new color.
Advice is just that-- another person's opinion. Go with what works for you. Some people I know tend to paint houses in colors that are bit more 'sale-able' and while that looks nice, it may lack a little in the personality department.
I can see, from a design standpoint, why she would go with lighter colors in a basement (to give the appearance of more light, to open up the area), so you might go for a lighter hue of blue or green. She is approaching your room from a decorator's perspective, but she doesn't have to live in it, right?
"Thanks so much for your input-- I decided to go a little whimsical since this was meant to be a playroom... it was nice to hear your ideas, though. I always appreciate someone else's perspective."
Next time, you know not to ask, right? ;)
Decorate it how YOU like and stop asking for her opinion. Nobody can decorate your home and make it feel like home as you can.
I suggest checking for ideas on Pinterest and some paint sites (Benjamin Moore, Valspar, Sherwin-Williams). I'm certain that you'll find some great ideas.
Like this! :-) http://www.houzz.com/playroom
There are some nice greens in there.... ;-)
When I am asked to give advise or my opinion, I in no way assume people will actually do it if they do not want to.
But I am an adult. I do not base my opinions or advice on what others think.
So no, you do not have any obligation.
It is your home, you have to live with it.
Don't do it. It's your house. Either ask her for another suggestion or go your own way.
I suggest this situation is an opportunity for you to feel empowered and to get past your resentment. You know it's your house. Now embrace your power. Perhaps use positive statements. Instead of arguing in your mind with her ideas repeat this phrase. "It's my house and I can do what I want." A play on words from a song. Can't remember the title.
I suggest that by going along with her suggestions earlier and by feeling like you maybe should do as she suggests now you are giving away your power. Because you come.across as unsure but angry others come across as more powerful. So, act confident until you feel confident. Know that this is your decision to make!
Discuss it with your husband. Include her suggestion while talking about what you want. Don't fight about her. Leave her out of it while still considering her suggestions as just one of several ideas.
Let go of your need to get her approval. You do not need to fight her. You have nothing to prove. It's your house and you can do what you want to.
Isuggest that when you stop fighting your SIL your husband will stop defending her. Keep in mind that he loves her and you. This is not a competition.
Paint it blue and tell your H it's yellow ! he,he,he! Ok, guess not.
People who give advice on your house colors should want to take your opinion into account. She never had to do that with your H. Tell her within these limits, pick a blue or green.
Tell H he is now married to his decorator and she's much more likely to sleep with you if she doesnt have a yellow basement.
She "took over"?
You asked for her advice and she gave it!
If you want to, tell her " other than yellow, which way would you go with the wall color for the playroom?"
In the end, it's your house & your decision though.
You don't HAVE to take her suggestion/s.
Ask yourself: who is going to see it and have to deal with it on a daily basis? I believe the answer is going to be YOU!! It's your house, paint it the way you want. If she asks later just tell her what you told us: that it would have ended up being too formal looking. I agree, vases do not belong in a playroom.
Two things bother me about this: that she went with yellow and you specifically told her you didn't want yellow! And that your husband is siding with her!!
I would stick with your original idea - using a subdued blue or green on the walls and throw pillows to add a little yellow.
Good luck!!
If you don't like her idea, don't do it. She gave you a suggestion, not an edict. In the end, it's your house, and you're the one who has to look at the walls every day, so don't paint them a color you don't like.
Design 101. Picking any color found in the rug for the walls would be fine. As far as your tones, basements can be dark and cave like so I tend to go lighter or brighter with the tones and hues.
Go with what you would like for the walls regardless of what she picked. It's your house and your choice. Just let her know you appreciate her input but decided to go in a different direction.
Just because someone gives or gets advice doesn't mean that the recipient is under any obligation to follow the advice given.
On a go forward, go with your gut by not asking her for an opinon on decorating or decor because you have other hard feeliings about her input and her touch in your home.
Get swatches of paint from the the paint store to see what shades of blue and green would work for your walls. Put it on the walls all the shades you think it will be beautiful and just what you want. Happy decorating.
Did your sister in law know what the room was going to be used for when she came over and gave the advice you asked for? If so - then she's wwwwaaaayyyy off base and I would do what I want to do....
Me in your shoes:
I asked her her advice, she gave it. I can either move on it or file it away for future reference. Since I know I don't want yellow, it's going to be a play room so vases are not welcome there - I will go with my idea - thanks so much for your suggestions!!
you SPECIFICALLY said you don't want yellow, and that's what she suggested?
of course you don't follow her advice.
i have zero design sense. (fortunately my dh does.) i always have to consult, cuz i'm clueless.
but i also retain veto power, and understand that i can like an overall concept and want THAT even if i need help with details and subtleties.
either disregard her advice, or bring her back in and make sure she hears you this time.
will she get pissy with you if you choose not to take her up on her color scheme?
khairete
S.
If you really don't want yellow but can't pick out your own colors, bring the rug to a paint store that you trust (I always go to a local Ace hardware and use Benjamin Moore paints) and ask them to help you. There is a guy at my paint store who found the most amazing shade of green for me after I tried 8 samples on my own.
One option might be to use one of the colors she suggested on some of the walls and then accent one or two walls with a complementary blue or green. Basement rooms are inherently dark so I can see why she suggested the yellow and off-white. And really, there are vastly different shades of yellow out there so what she picked out might have been totally different from what you have upstairs. Make sure you get lots and lots of bright lighting to make up for the lack of natural light. In our basement playroom, we have two rows of 4 lights that look like flood lights - we can move them to light any where we want and they are very bright. In my son's basement bedroom, which is smaller (10 x 10) we put in a ceiling fixture that has three bulbs. In that room, we did two walls a deep cobalt blue and another wall a citron color. He picked them out and it came out great, and with the bright lighting it's not too dark. Here are the two colors - the citron looks more orangey-tan on the wall:
http://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-color/championco...
http://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-color/citron
That green that I mentioned above is this one - the first is the sample, the second is how it actually looks on the wall, which it totally different. Greens are really hard to find so bring the rug with you and have someone who knows what he or she is doing find the right shade if you want to try it:
http://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-color/sherwoodgreen
http://thedecorologist.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/DSC...
At the end of the day if the blue or green just don't work, you can go ahead and try the colors she suggested. I should add that my sister is a professional interior designer and sometimes I take her advice and sometimes I don't. She really doesn't care either way.
I like H looloos response. Go get a ton of paint swatches in blues and greens. Invite her over for coffee and ask her which out of THOSE swatches she likes best. Blues and greens are the option. It sounds like your husband mostly just wants to be agreeable with her, so find a color you already like and see if you can get her to help tie it all together.
Or, use one of those phone apps where you take a photo of the room and then choose a paint color and it shows a preview of what it will look like, then show it to your husband.
Or... Just paint it how you want without involving anyone else, heh heh. Do one wall...if you hate it a few days later, you can always repaint.
If you want to keep her involved, tell her that any shade of yellow/gold is NOT an option. Re-ask your specific question. If she cannot give you the answer that you need, say never mind (and thank her) and do what you want.
ETA: Okay, so, seriously.... Just ask her to find you a shade of blue or green, and be done with it. When she tries to "take over", reel her back in and remind her that you ONLY want her to find you a shade of blue or green. Don't let her take over. I don't think that she means any harm. She just knows that she's good at what she does, and she is used to being the go-to person for this house. Your husband can't see, so he has passed that task on to her. Now that you're in the picture, you will just have to reset the boundaries. That's all. I know that it doesn't feel so easy to rock the boat, but I don't think that it has to be as big an issue as you are making it. Just tell your husband that you are on it so he can pull himself out of the equation. If a discussion is necessary, tell him that you would like to decorate your house to suit your tastes, to make it your own. Your husband's input will be part of it, of course, but you want it to be just the two of you.
There is not just one right answer for colors. You don't want more yellow, so don't do it! Tell your SIL you just don't want any more yellow and are leaning towards another color.
Vases in a playroom????????????????
No, you shouldn't do it when you don't like it. And I really don't like off-white -- I don't know when that looks good. Off-white usually looks dingy. If you use white (ceiling, mouldings), it should be a fresh and creamy and pretty white.
It's a playroom. Paint it a color that you like. Just be sure to try out 5' x 5' swatches of the color, and view them in all lights, before committing the whole room to that color.
It sounds like she won't be offended, she just likes to discuss decorating. I understand that, since I'm the same way. So just tell her, "Thanks for your suggestions, but I've decided..." No big deal.
Do it your way, and don't involve husband. Just give him a big kiss and tell him you really want to paint the walls blue, so that's what you're doing. Most guys don't care about decorating, ultimately.
Paint the basement the colors you want. Accent in yellow with a picture or pillows. Find a yellow that has a blue hue to it and use that to go with your blue.
You have to live there not your SIL. Take ownership of your home and do what you want with it. If SIL asks what happened to the yellow, just mention casually that you felt you needed a space that was cooler and calmer than the yellow.
Enjoy your playroom. Do put a chalkboard wall up for the kids. This will also break up the all yellow or blue wall and the kids have somewhere to write on the wall and not be in trouble.
Have a great decorating experience.
the other S.
I'd go with a blue that is nice and friendly. Blue is also peaceful and none agitating. Most group homes and residential homes are some sort of pale light blue. It's a very calming color. You can sponge some white on a wall for clouds and paint it an outdoor mural.
Take her advice and do what you want with it. It's your space, ultimately it's up to you!
She gave you her honest opinion, which just happens to be that a color you don't want would look the best. That doesn't mean you HAVE to take her advice. Maybe she doesn't like green or blue and didn't want to encourage you in a color she thought wouldn't look good (not saying it wouldn't look good, just that she might think that). Tell her thanks for the ideas, then pick the color you like. Our playroom is green, and I love it!
ETA after reading your SWH: Hubby is color blind and wants to help pick colors?? I think his opinion doesn't count for much then!
I'm sort of going off of Boss Fan's idea here. If you are trying to keep the peace, which it sounds like you want to do, tell her "I like the yellow/gold that you picked out, but I just can't pull the trigger on that color for the walls, but maybe for some pillows or accents. I decided that I really do like the blue or green colors." Then decide if you want to keep down the path of her opinions. If you don't want to mess with that again, just pick out your own colors. If you do, then be firm that you want green or blue, and will she help you narrow down choices of those colors.
Sometimes we are on the fence about colors until someone suggests one and you realize you are no longer on the fence! If you want to spare feelings and she gets testy with you, just say things like "I wish I had your artistic flare, I just have such a hard time deciding- but I appreciate your help!"
I suggest you paint the walls whatever color YOU like. You are the one who is going to have to live with it.
Btw, since you're painting, you could get some chalkboard paint and paint a cool chalkboard or two on the walls for the kids. My GD LOVES her chalkboard wall!
I would laugh her off and say what part of NOT yellow did you hear when I asked for a color? :) Paint it whatever color you want and only ask her to help you with picking out throw pillows if you want.
