Single Parenting at the Holidays

Make a list. Cut off the things that are less important. Decide what can be done with you and the kids and what you might need help with (dragging a 9 ft tree in the house?). Get the kids' help. Shop online when the kids are in bed or during lunch. Take the kids to the mall when you can get them alone or maybe team up with another single parent, swap a few kids and help each other's families shop.

My mom was a single mom most of my childhood. We had lovely, if not overblown holidays. It will be fine. :)

Concentrate on making the holidays meaningful and enjoyable NOT perfect! And I still contend that in some ways single is easier-- it's a LOT less frustrating and stressful to know from the start that it's all up to you than to have to do the work of a partner who unexpectedly flakes off. Not to mention that there's no discussion or debate-- I get to decide! (Of course if I decide wrong there's no one else around to blame!)

I have trouble with the amount of gifts my son gets. I just can't get him everything I want to....but on the same note we are at the Lego Store about once a month so it's not like he has to do without. I'm a horrible secret keeper so I'm putting everything on layaway until closer to the big day. Then I wrap them all and put a few more under the tree every night as we get closer to the big day. I also have a nice wooden advent calendar that I fill with some of his favorite things so he gets a little something each day until Christmas.

I try to have a "schedule" in place too....this is when we get the tree, this is when we decorate. We can deviate from the schedule but it provides a great outline and keeps him involved since he gets to reminde me how many days until we do this or that.

Most importantly I make sure that we make gifts for people. It's not all about the store bought stuff that will get thrown in the back of the closet....it's about the holiday and giving from the heart. I make sure those little hands are busy during Christmas break!

Try to get all your Christmas shopping done NOW, if possible. And start wrapping now - I'm not kidding! I will probably start wrapping later next week.

Try to figure out which traditions are most meaningful for you and ditch the rest. I personally focus on cookie baking and getting a real tree/decorating it - all done in the 3 weeks leading up to Christmas. We put up just a few decorations around the house, nothing crazy. My son opens his advent calendar every day. Church early on Christmas Eve. That's it. We go to my Mom's for Christmas Day, so she handles most the cooking, etc. If we didn't go to her place, I think I would order out our Christmas dinner from somewhere. ;)

Don't feel guilty about all the stuff you CAN'T do - you're only one person and you can't always be supermom.

Oh, and I hold off on doing any Christmas cards until New Year's weekend and send them out after that. You'd be surprised how many people comment on how nice it is to get a card/photo after Christmas.