Single Mom Needing Help!

Updated on August 04, 2009
K.W. asks from Rockwall, TX
9 answers

I got into a relationship and we we're engaged when I got pregnant. My son is now 2 years old and his father and I aren't together anymore. His dad has lots of money and has been paying my rent and truck payment but since I have no job skills, I have been strapped for money. I want to break away from depending on my ex-fiance for support because he threatens to take everything away from me every other week, including taking my son from me. I have made alot of bad choices in the past but I am trying to clean up my act so I can be a good mother to my child and be able to provide for his needs without having to depend on anyone else!! I am terrified that my ex can take my child away from me and I have no idea what my legal rights are, as well as how I can get out from under my ex's thumb. I have no family nearby, and I am trying to stay away from my "old" friends who are not a good influence on me. Can anyone help???

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E.A.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K., I was in your shoes 15 years ago...wow, it seems like yesterday! I was like you, I had been a stay at home mom for 9 years and had no job skills. I had four children ranging from 8 months old to 9 years old. I went to Collin County Community College and enrolled in the Promise Program. I'm not sure if they still have it but it was for single mothers or parents trying to get on their feet. Through that program, my school was completely paid for, tuition, books, child care, even gas and money to live on through grants and loans that you don't pay for until 6 months after you graduate. I also signed up for medicaid and food stamps and went to court to get child support. I used Legal Aid in McKinney, TX and was able to get free representation through my divorce and custody hearing. Check out those two things....the Promise Program and Legal Aid. Good luck!

3 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Dallas on

K., exactly what are you seeking help with; job skills, employment, childcare, help with legal? I applaud your efforts, but we need to know some more information before we can direct you where to get the help that you need and deserve. God bless you, sweet lady.
T.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

You can check out my website, moraleenergy.igniteinc.biz which has a video link into how you can become a director with Ignite helping others save money on their electric bills and teaching others to do the same. No inventory!! I would also encourage you to find a group of women in a MOPS (mother's of pre-schoolers)or similar group in your area where you can find support and make some friends. It is next to impossible to "stay away" from something without filling the void with something else.

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B.W.

answers from Dallas on

Tough situation and hard to make suggestions not knowing more....but you need to get a job and/or get in school. You also need to get court ordered support for your child but that does not guarantee he will always pay it so you need to get self supporting. Have you applied for AFDC, Medicaid and food stamps? they might also be able to help you wil job training. I left my hubby many years ago with a 2month old and a 16 month old, so I know it can be tough but you can do it and need to get started. As to him getting your child, you have had several opinions here so I will give mine - if you are not working/supporting yourself and dad is stable, he might get custody as sometimes it is not about unfit but who is better suited...so, start today and get your life started for you and your son.......I will be thinking of you!

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E.C.

answers from Dallas on

You can work retail, be an assitant teacher at a day care, secretary at a corporation (if you can work the computer), receptionsist at a company or doctor's office. All of these jobs require no college degree. If you can communicate and work a computer, then you should be able to find something. The only challenging thing will be finding someone to watch your son. Hopefully, you might be able to enlist some family for help at first while you interview for a job.

Also, just a hint when you start interviewing. Know your skills! You have raised a son which takes organization, attention to detail and patience. Have you been involved in any organizations? Think about what you do on a day-to-day basis and write it down. That way when they ask you why you think you are qualified, you have an answer!

Good luck to you!!

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R.K.

answers from Dallas on

Hello K.,
My name is R.. I don't know if I can really help because the choice is truly up to you. The first question to ask yourself is..."Am I teachable?" If you are then I am willing to show you what I have been taught so that I can teach skin care and color cosmetics with my own Mary Kay business. Beyond that I also mentor a team of women who run their own Mary Kay business. When you are teachable and willing to work I am proof it works. I am a 36 yr. old single mom of a 13 yr. old and 11 yr. old. My strength for you is encouragement and practical training that help you take the next steps towards your own financial independence and you don't already have to be skilled. I will train you. You do not pay me anything to train you. The headquarters pays me.
If you would like to learn what it is I do contact me. Even after listening if it is just not for you, that is fine with me. I would never want to try and help someone that isn't wanting to run their own business.
You will meet a group of very positive women and they will replace those "old" friends you are trying to stay away from.
I know I haven't met you yet, but I would love to meet a new friend.
Just for you,
R.

###-###-####
____@____.com
www.marykay.com/rkuipers

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R.W.

answers from Dallas on

with out just cause, he can not take your son. even if he files something in court, it takes time for those things to pan out. the only way your son will be taken is if there is cause for attention or harm being done. he could call cps and report something, but they would need just cause to take him. dont listen to the threats. it is just a way for him to have control over you. get some self confidence, pray for you and your baby boy and try a job inretail. you will build skills easily there. good luck girl

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Hi! I want to congratulate you for "cleaning up" your act for your son. I would suggest you look into going to college or a technical school. I'm sure that you would qualify for financial aid and also would receive help paying for childcare. Unless your ex can prove that you are an unfit mother I wouldn't worry too much about him taking your baby from you. If you need someone to talk to or just need someone to listen please contact me through this site. As long as you continue to make the right choices everything works itself out in the end. Take care! Kristi :)

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L.W.

answers from Dallas on

Go to the nearest junior college and inquire about a two year progam in the medical field; nursing, radiology, medical technician. Inquire about financial aid (pell grants)and on-site or school affiliated child care. You can do this! Then maybe you could waitress a couple of "busy" days and get good tips! Never know till you try! Good luck!:)

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