I'm in a Bind! HELP!

Where are you???? Maybe you could go part time? Find someone who runs a daycare out of their home?

Good Luck!

Hello, my name is E. I have a six month old son, Ethan, and a wonderful husband, but there is help out there for you. We have every type of assistantice that is out there. If you still need help call me at ###-###-####.

I can definately sympathize with you. Here's the best I can offer. As far as getting a lawyer, check into legal aid. You can find the number in the phone book. Even if your ex's pay is unpredictable, they CAN garnish his wages based on what his average pay is every month. I'm not too sure how to go about getting that started, hopefully someone else can tell you how, but it can be done. Try looking into the head start program. That may be cheaper than what you are paying now. Look into getting a job on campus, or even see if the daycare your child goes to is hiring. It may not offset the cost of childcare completely, but with your situation it sounds like every little bit would help. Or if your mom is willing to watch the child on the weekends, look for a part time job working saturday and sunday. But as I said before, the first thing I would do is start getting your ex's paycheck garnished. He has to pay child support, there is no way for him to get around it. Good luck to you. Hope this helped a little.

A.,
Ok, first off - there are childcare options out there that do not cost $190/wk. I am a childcare provider who does charge that much herself for full-time, but know that there are others who don't. PLUS parents who do pay that much can afford it - you can't. There are a few government programs out there to help parents such as yourself (single working student moms) pay for the costs of childcare. Some are based on a sliding scale. Here are a couple of places to start searching:
The Child Care Management Services (CCMS) program of the Texas Workforce Commission helps eligible parents with the cost of child care. The requirements to be eligible for this assistance vary in different regions of the state. To learn more, visit the Texas Workforce Commission web site at http://www.twc.state.tx.us/svcs/childcare/ccinfo.html

Depending on what part of the state in which you live, there may be other programs to assist with child care costs. You can find out more by calling the Texas Information and Referral Network (dial 2-1-1). Information is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week and can be provided in almost any language including Spanish. You can also visit their web site at http://www.helpintexas.com.

Also, I believe that if you can prove to the state that you pay mom rent (even if its not that much), you can qualify for more assistance.

About the car: can your mom or some other relative help you out? You could talk to the lender and refinance with another signer (if the ex is a signer you'll want to change that anyway - no need for him to benefit from something he obviously is not making payments on). Then possibly work out some payment plan with the other signer that is much less than the current paymet, but promises to pay for the car in full after you finish school. So whatever the cosigner pays now, you'll pay back at a later time kind of thing.

A.,

If you have good credit, trade that car in for something less expensive. Go for used or maybe something that has rebates if you are a little upside down in the other car. But, get rid of it if you can't afford it. Also, you have to look at anything you get from the dad as a "bonus". Figure out a way to do it without him but don't stop asking for it. You'll figure it out. See if the school you are attending has child care. Also I have heard that the YWCA will help with childcare cost even if your mom watches your kids. Good luck!

I am sorry you are going through this. I am a stay at home mom as well. I stopped working in January while I was still pregnant and now my baby is 2 1/2 months. My husband works but he doesn't make very much, not a college graduate. The first thing I would suggest is to STAY IN SCHOOL. Neither one of us went to college. We started working right out of high school and the longer you are out the harder it is to go back. I know it is hard to stay in and still make ends meet but when it is over you will look back and be happy you did it, you won't even remember the hard times. I don't regret my life, I am happy, but I know that if at least one of us would have gone to college we would be a lot more financially secure.

I moved out of the house when I was 18 and lived on my own for 2 years before I met my husband, in that time I established and ruined my credit just because I wouldn't send in a measley $10 payment! I didn't realize how important credit was and I am still recovering from it. Once you have bad credit it takes a long time to make it good again. So whatever you have to do to KEEP your good credit, do it! Trust me. If you ruin your credit now, when you do graduate from college and want to buy a house you won't be able to get the house you really want because of your credit. So keep that good credit! It sounds like you already know the importance of that.

I can't believe that the school won't give you more than that to assist you with daycare. They don't make it very easy for struggling single moms to stay in school huh? I know daycare can be expensive which is one of the reasons I decided to stay home. Most of the money I would make from working would go to pay for daycare so what was the point. But since I stay home money is tight. We have to live on a strict budget.

To make some money while staying home I started my own business, you can check out my website at www.myhuggableparty.com. This is a traveling build-your-own stuffed animal party business. I come to you for birthday parties, scout meetings, daycares, you name it. I bring all the supplies for kids to stuff their own animal, they get to name it and wish on a star too. Like Build A Bear but I go to them. When I started I told everyone I know about my new business and I put my flyers out everywhere and started getting calls. So you will book your first party and receive at least 50% payment from them up front and use that to order your supplies so you are never out a large sum of money. You don't have to carry inventory either. It is just a really fun business. I do it on the weekends and during the week, only if I want to. I make good money doing it too.

You can also approach the daycare your baby is in to see if they would book a party with you for all the kids in the daycare, that would be a very large profit for you. I like it because when my baby is older I can take her to parties with me and she can be my little assistant. If you are interested just go to my website and either call me or email me.

Or, better yet, I will have a table at the Summer Celebration for Women and Children event at North Central Baptist Hospital on July 21st, from 9am-noon. You can attend the event, free of charge of course, and stop by my table, the name of the company is Noah's Ark Animal Workshop, bring your baby, we will be handing out balloons. Then you will get to meet me and see some of the items I carry in person, you don't even have to say who you are you can just stop by and take a look.

They are also offering child CPR classes so that would be worth going to the event just for that. There will be tons of vendors there for women and children so you never know, you may find some sort of assistance there. Or another job opportunity that can at least get you by for now.

I wish you much luck in whatever you decide to do and I will pray for you. Hang in there girl!

First contact the Attoney General that doesn't cost anything and they will work it out, eventually. Second you need to get rid of your car sell it trade it in and get a car that has no payment or one that is low. You don't have to keep it, do it now before they take it. Third work from home like Avon or any other thing you can do from home. Talk to your mom and see if you can trade off shifts you work when shes not so she can take care of the kids, or even ask the father or his family (if you trust them). There are even some work programs you can do though the college and sometimes they have programs that pay for your childcare. So contact your colleges advisor and see if they have any help.

dont be scared about how much he will pay in child support. Take him to court if his income fluctuates he will bring in his taxes and that will show what he makes for the year and the court will go off of that. And while you do that you can also do that for baby 2 so when the baby is born it wont take as long. Try calling Any Baby Can. They helped me alot. Keep trying for assistance like food stamps.. get your mother to write a note saying she doesnt help you. And even if you have to give the children to the jerk for a weekend or whatever you can work during that time... Its tough....but you will make it through!

Hi A.,

I've heard of programs where free daycare is provided to moms who qualify, maybe you could search the web to find out more info.
Thats one thing I would suggest, I think that alone would be a tremendous help to you in your situation.
Unless you had any relatives who would watch your son for less money, so you can continue to go to school.
I have a son who goes to daycare and the older they get, the less expensive it is. So it does get better.
Hang in there !

-Camille

First, calm down. Even though this is a tough situation, it's not hopeless. You mentioned that you were going to school - congratulations! College graduates make $40,000 more a year on average than high school level. It's worth sticking it out and you can go to the school to talk to them about daycare. Texas has a LOT of programs to help single moms get through school, so just ask for your advisor to point you in the right direction.

Secondly, you need to call the Attorney General's office and file a child support case. Obviously, he isn't volunteering on his own to help take care of his children.

Third, you need to get a strict budget worked out and STICK TO IT until you're on top of your debt. Since you're living with mom, you have less expenses than someone on their own. You DO have a job, so you need to get a plan laid out and commit to doing it until things are paid off. It won't be much fun right now, but the pay-off will be worth it.

By the time your kids start school, you'll be a college graduate with a great credit rating and ready for the next big opportunity that comes your way! Good luck!

i would like to help. I am going to school for nursing. I am a certified home care child provider as well. my hours are 130pm-10pm mon-thr thurs on fridays im available all day including sat and sund.
i am on sittercity.com and care.com

let me know if u need any help. i am a mentor and i have helped many in this situation. especially getting back on ur own feet.

happy holidays,
J. S email me at ____@____.com

A., I was a single mom to my daughter and her "father" was so awful he made me tremble every time he called or came to get or see our daughter. I was BROKE BROKE BROKE...and I know I can help you. Contact me at ____@____.com and I can share with you what I did to get out of that very similar situation.
J.

A.
Here is an idea I'm not sure if this will work. Get a student loan that you have to pay back after you gradulate. Take that money and pay off the car loan. Then after you get out of collage you have your car payment (student loan) to pay for at a lower interest rate and I think that you would have longer to pay it out. Check it out. I can't hurt. You might not want to tell them its to pay off a car loan. Its just living and school expences
Another idea is to put up a notice at school asking for help in baby sitting You might come across someone that has kids also that needs help and trade times or days. Or pay someone I know at my sons school that they get collage kids to help with afterschool programs. Everyone needs extra money.
I wish you luck. Stay in school. Ask God to help!
L.

A., I agree with the advice of everyone else. Stay in school, definately fight for the child support, because it will help. As far as your car goes, talk with the bank that holds the title. Many banks have programs that will allow you to defer 1-2 payments or they have a "temporary reducation" program that you only pay half a payment for 2 months (basically you skip a payment, but they just space that one payment over 2 months). If they cannot or will do that, ask if it would be possible to refinance the loan in an effort to get a lower payment. If none of these options are available, then I would definately try to sell the vehicle and get something with a lower payment. I understand what you are going through, I just retired from the military and am only receiving 1/2 of what I used to make. My husband has only been able to find a job that pays 1500-2000 a month. This only covers our basic bills. The military provides additional compensation above your standard pay to cover housing costs. We are getting that anymore so we now have to add that to our required budget. You can work through this, it just takes time. I wish you the best and will keep you in my prayers.
Debi :-)

I would trade in your car for something more affordable as soon as possible (before your credit gets shot).

I would just suggest staying in school...I realize that seems impossible at this point but schools offer pell grants and assistance. Vernon College is great about that...they even pay for child care while you're working. Also, you think that it's not worth garnishing your ex's wages, but it is! You don't need a lawyer to do that. You just go down to the Attorney General's office and fill out some paperwork, especially if you need it! And, if he's not paying now, when he gets his income tax return they can take it directly from that! They can take his license among a number of other things to force him to pay, including his freedom! Don't give up!! They also have section 8 housing. You have many, many options to explore...Good luck! R.

Have you talked with someone in Legal Aid, someone there should be able to help you as far as getting the Dad to help with expenses, they should be able to give you some good advice at no cost to you. Being a single mom there should be alot of help for you out there it is just knowing where to look, I know like in Round Rock at the serving center they help with bills once in a while, also with some of the food. The WIC office should be able to give you places to go or someone to call that can help you with a one time expense.
Also as far as child care it is sometimes cheaper to find someone that babysits from home. Home child care is usually a little cheaper because that don't have the over head expense. I am not sure where you are but I do know someone that watches kids and charges $20 a day maybe $25 for infants at the most. I also watch kids and only charge $20. a day so that might save you a little money there finding a home child care.

Good Luck!
Hope some of this information helps sorry I couldn't be more specific not knowing where you are located. But all areas have some type of service that can help single moms, also your doctor might be able to help you find some help that you are needing he/might be able to let you know who to contact.

Best of Luck!
M. H.

This may take a little more time than you have, but you should do it anyway, it will help in the long run. Call the Attorney General's office right away! It does nt matter if your ex does not have a regular job or predictable income, he still owes child support and medical support for your kids!!! The will calculate what he should be paying and then he will owe 15 months child support to begin with adn it will continue to accumulate from there! Ask to have wages garnished because he cannot be depended on to pay on time. They will flag his social security number and everytime he starts a new job, they will send his employer a garnishment notice. I have to tell you that is you have a way of finding out where he is working everytime though, it is faster!! Either way, that money accumulates! If he does not pay, they will also garnish his income tax every year! My ex never paid on time and to top that off, he claimed my son without my permission, so not only did they send me most of his income tax, but for a few years-after they figured out he had committed fraud-they kept his income tax to get paid back the amount he stole! The number I have memorized for them is ###-###-####! Call now because I heard they were going to stop doing this at some point! Good Luck to you!
One question, why did you get a car you could not afford on your own-with 2 children? i had to drive a tiny 2 door car for a few years when I was in school and had my first son.

1. Pay your mom "rent". A set payment every month that is to include household space for you and your children and your portion of utilities. Then you and your children are your own household, your mom is your room mate - and most people don't declare their room mate on their applications, even when it does ask for "household income". For the rent question, list only what you are paying your mom. i.e. 200 / month.

Then reapply for WIC, CCAS (subsidized childcare), etc. If your car is less than 5 years old, it's going to count against you for everything else. Contact your lender to talk about a voluntary surrender (which is still bad, but not as bad as a foreclosure) - or, if you're not upside down on your car, see if you can get someone to buy it from you by taking over the notes. Then you can get something more reasonably priced (or take public transportation). You might also try applying to work at the daycare - often employees receive a pretty big discount on care for their kids. You can check on campus, too, about subsidized daycare for students. Online courses cost so much more, you're not saving much (if any) by taking them.

Legal aid can help with getting a support order from your ex - in fact, if your kids are on medicaid, I'm surprised they haven't already told you that they're going after him for the cost.

Good luck.
S.

Wow. People have already left great advise, and I realize I'm a few months late. I just want to tell you, you are not alone. I was 20 when I had my daughter and 21 when I had my son. My fiance left me for another woman and I moved back home with mom. I was on medicaide and WIC. I was able to move 1 monthly payment per year on my vehile to the end. Which later I gave to my brother to take over the payments. The other vehicle I co-signed w/my ex was repossesed after 3 months. He was evicted from the apartment I had also co-signed and all the utilities/phone/credit cards were in my name. So unfortunately my credit turned horrible. When I got back home I started going to church actively. I met a lady who offered to watch my kids for FREE till I got on my feet. I also met a very nice man who is now my husband who takes very good care of me. I did go through the attorney general to try and get child support. I showed up to 3 court dates and he didn't. He said he would pay me on the side but never did so I didn't go to the last hearing which would have been the end. Now I regret it.
I've been through that deep deep depression. And I've also recovered. I had to make some sacrifices but in the end it all worked out. And my husband is helping me rebuild my credit. Yeah! I'm 24 now.
I choose to have a "never the less" life. Here's a peice from Max Lucado:
"Wouldn’t you love God to write a nevertheless in your biography? Born to alcoholics, nevertheless she led a sober life. Never went to college, nevertheless he mastered a trade. Didn’t read the Bible until retirement age, nevertheless he came to a deep and abiding faith.
We all need a nevertheless. And God has plenty to go around. Strongholds mean nothing to him."

God Bless,
M.

Good luck with this one.. Only thing I can think is to find a different car, get a cheaper one. and look to the future. It will get better. Keep on the child support, so that when your ex-boy/hubby friend does make money, it will automatically take out your child support before he can say sh**.

Also make sure though you are living with your mother, you are technically still a single mother with 1 child and 1 on the way, so when going to food stamps, etc, make that the point that you get no income help from family except for a place to stay, which you pay rent for, utilities etc.. work the system for you..

Take time to look for scholarships in your field areas for school for underprivledged students or students that are poverty level, since you are in that spot right now.. just remember, it is not forever.

If you living in Williamson County you can go to the caring place and get help with rent, utilities, gas, daycare and food and that can offset the cost.. if they can't help they have other programs that might..

good luck to you and remember, live for your kids' and no one else. It is them who you will be looked up to for how to rightly live your life...Dont give up.

I am so sorry to hear you going through such a ruff time. I am not sure if you have gone to the work force office and see about helping you with payments. I know my brother in law was out of a job and they where having really hard times and the state helped them with soem house payments, fixed there car, bills etc. Also alng with medicaid try food stamps. That can help a whole lot. If you cant get that you mat look into some churchs with food assistants. I think there is something called angelfood they are at different chruches and you pay like $30 and get tons of food. Like $200-$300 worth!! Also go to www.craigslist.com and post for stuff for your son. People will help. Good Luck. If I come along something to help more I will let you know.

The only thing I can think of that might help would be to refinance your car. I would recommend going to see Karen Jackson at Texas Health Credit Union. My husband has gone to her for years, and has referred lots of customers to her, including myself and my in-laws. Anyway she is very nice and hopefully will be able to help you out. When I got my car refinanced through her, the payments were almost cut in half. You can call her at ###-###-####, and you can tell her that Lindsey Caudill referred you if you want. Good luck!!

((((HUGS))))

It sounds like you are trying your best to support your family. I am sorry you are going through this.

One initial step to try is to call 211. (Like 911 but with a 2) It doesn't work from cell phones, I think. They won't solve your problems, but they can help you find other local assistance. Tell the caller that you are needing help with diapers, clothing, food, etc, I know that might not help alot but every little bit can help.

Have you thought about getting involved in a church? They can offer you emotional support, and sometimes some financial support. I have been to Macarthur Park Church of CHrist in San Antonio, that is one option.

Next, have you considered getting some one-on-one I know I would need some counseling if I were in that situation. There should be places in San Antonio that offer free counseling, sometimes they might encourage you to pay a little but if you can't afford it it is free. It might be through a local college. When you call 211, ask about that. (Or a church could offer it for free.)

Could you put college on hold and find some sort of part time job? Or you could even possibly find a job where you could bring your 15 month old. Sometimes people might need sitters for their elderly parent, and they might be okay if your son comes along. http://www.homeinstead.com has jobs like that, not sure if you could bring your son, but it doesn't hurt to check.

This is definitely a tough decision, and very personal, but I just to let you know that you do have to option of placing your unborn baby up for adoption. You could choose an open adoption, where you could still see the child occasionally. Here is a hotline to call 1-800-592-4725, I think sometimes they will help you with your living expenses throughout the pregnancy too. I know that is a very tough decision though..............

Also, I do want to encourage you to fight for child support.....

One final suggestion, is to get into a live-in program for single moms where they help you change your life. To be honest though, since you have the support of your mother, it might be best to just stay with her. But here is one in Lubbock, TX http://www.myfathershouselubbock.org. I'm sure there's a program like that in San Antonio, you might ask when you call 211.

Take it one day at a time.

Just a thought: We have a program called West Texas Oportunities here that will pay all or some of your day care expenses based on your income. Also, the YMCA as well as some of the church daycares have scholarship programs that will pay for daycare (all or some). You might ask your DHS case worker about similar programs in your area and he/she can also provide assistance in collecting child support from the ex. Another thing, when applying for financial aid for school, be sure to add in the cost of daycare to your living expenses so they can adjust your award package acordingly. Good luck!