Silly Thing Your Children Have Said

The most recent from my 5 year old... "mom, I'm different from everyone in my class....... they are not sassy like me!"

My children are grown now, but one of my preschoolers said to me dead serious. Miss D. are feet made from cheese??? I said no why, he said that's what my mommy said. I guess mommy said his feet smelled like cheese. I can go on and on. Children say the cutest things I laugh all day long. Great post!!

We have just recently started going to church because I enrolled my kids in catholic school last year, and they had so many questions about God. On their first religion test there was a question: why do we go to church. My kids are in different classrooms, yet they both gave this answer to the question:
"to make friends."
I thought that was soooo funny. I asked them whydid they think that we go to church to make friends? They said because we keep saying hello to people we don't know, and they say hello back.

We were heading out to dinner at our local steakhouse and I was saying to my husband I wonder whats on special tonight and our 4 yr old daughter said Im special tonight. We laughed all the way to dinner.

Over the summer, my nieces came to stay with my husband and I.. ages 4 and 6... I was talking to the 4year old at dinner, and suddenly I heard my husband say, "that was a very scientifically accurate answer"... Later he told me the convo... Niece: "Uncle! I LOVE this Toy Story Mac & Cheese! I'm going to tell my mommy to make it. Did you know a baby comes from a woman's vagina because it would hurt too much to come out her pee hole? Do you know my teacher? She's really nice I like school.." Her mother (a nurse) was really proud that her children actually listen to her! My hubs and I about peed our pants laughing all night.

Our daughter has always been dead pan with comments and statements.. she used to say., "My feelings are hurting"

One time I was yelling at the morning news shows and our daughter said, "Mom you know they cannot hear you? It is just TV."

At the grocery store I was asking her what kind of vegetable she wanted for dinner, she said "Lima Beans!".. I told her "no, we will have candy instead", she started crying and saying, "I do not want candy, I want lima beans,!"... I had to calm her down and tell her "OK, we will eat lima beans.". She was so happy and held the bag till we handed to to be paid, for just in case I changed my mind.. My husband whined about the lima beans at dinner and my daughter reminded him to "use your regular voice dad.".

At Thanksgiving my child read her list on the school tv station which included her saying very seriously
"I am reallllly thankful that my M. buys me a lot of toys even though my daddy thinks she spends too much money on me."

Oh My Goodness!!!! If I could write down every silly thing my son has said I would have a book by now!!!!

Most recent: My daughter asked if she could watch Happy Days. I said yes and a minute later my 5 year old son came down and asked the same question. I told him yes too and then he asked, "What about Sad Days?" Then he proceeded to run away laughing.

These are from my Facebook updates:

He said, "Drop, Rock, & Roll" when he saw a fire on TV.

He told me that someone said a bad word in class and it was a S word. Which he pronounced "SSS Puh Kah" so I asked him to spell it and he said, "SPK" I told him I have no idea what S word that was and then he said, " There is a bad word that is worse than the S word". I laughed and asked, "Oh yeah? What's that?" He said, "It starts with a V!"

My son said he wanted to play football My daughter responded with, "football is not ready for you yet".

... so many....

Most recently, while watching some birds, my son (who is 4), says "Mommy are those Mynah Birds?" I said "yes! You recognize them and remembered their names!" Then he pauses and says "So.... does that mean they *mind* the other birds and tell them what to do?" (mind a/Mynah.... to him sounded the same). Then he says... off on the same sort of tangent, he says wistfully "I wish I was a grown up...." And I said "why?" And he said "Because then I don't have to do what grown-ups tell me and I can tell everybody what to do...."

And, he likes Rock n ' Roll... and the other night he calls me and says "Mommy listen to my new song..." and then, in full "rock" gesturing and melody and expressions... with a drum-stick in his hand and playing his drums... he belts out a Rock rendition of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." It was really cool! And at the end of his song, like a Rocker, he says "YAAAAHHHH!" and bangs one last HARD beat on his drum and then holds it up high in the air.... for dramatic effect. Too funny.

My daughter is always saying (what I think) are the funniest things! She's 3.

The other day we decided to go on a "lunch date". On the way there I asked her what she might want. A hot dog. Ok, we'll check the menu to see if they have them. No, I'll just ask them! So, we arrive and the hostess says (to me), just the two of you? My DD answers "Yes, it is just us and by the way, do you have hot dogs?" The hostess was howling!

I have a pinched nerve in my neck causing me pain in my arm/hand that is at it's worst in the AM. I was rubbing my fingers and she asked me what was wrong. I told her my hand was hurting and she offered to kiss my boo boo. I told her it wasn't really a boo boo, it was inside. She says (very seriously) Oh, Mommy! Your nerves! They're going crazy!"

I could go on and on! She's a delight. Always. Thank you for this post!

My son is almost 8, but what I miss most are the things he said wrong:

The sparagus (asparagus)
Overham Lincoln
Ellevenan (Lebanon)

But I did get a little flashback this year for his holiday program when he sang "bells on top will ring....making spirits bright...)

so yesterday i was with the boys at lillys dance place, in the sitting area with all the other parents and kids etc.... michael rifling through my bag while im running my mouth with one of the dads, not paying attention. so he takes out, and unwraps a tampon, holds it up, yelling "MOM... is this a firecracker????" awesome.

Thanks! I needed this today.

My favorite recent ones (8yo) since christmas:

- Well I WAS in private until you joined me. (playing with his peni in the living room)

- I don't read christian (cursive)

- I don't wish I was never born, and I don't wish you were gone forever, I love you very much... but SHEESH can we just PRETEND either is true so I can get some PEACE AND QUIET?

---- 2 of my favorite ones EVER, and one without words---

The squirrels are mocking me! (age 3, because they ran faster than him)

Daddy's peni is HUGE. I mean really, REALLY BIG!! (also age 3, in a grocery store, in a piping toddler voice that carries several blocks).

Show everyone your underwear day at a (coed) soccer game. All the kids had been told to STOP pulling their shorts down in practice, and while explaining to the other team how "unfair" we were some bright little thing came up with the idea of pulling their shorts UP to show underwear through the legholes. So the ENTIRE game, both teams would randomly stop chasing the ball to show someone who hadn't seen their underwear. We parents on the sidelines were doubled over laughing so hard it was impossible to stop it. OR as my grandmother used to say "Ralph! How do you expect the kids to behave when you keep laughing at them!!!"

When my middle one was three she said, "Wow grandma, you hair in your nose!"

One morning I woke up feeling like I had a cold coming on and told my 3 yo DD that Mommy did not feel well. She motioned for me to get down on her level, and said, "I need to feel your brain." She placed her little hand on my forehead and said, "You feel warm! You need to go to the dentist!"

Another time she wanted to watch "Finding Nemo" - I put it in for her and she said, "Nemo is a cute little fish! He gets flushed down the potty!"

There's so many other things she has said that have just cracked me up - I really need to start writing them down!

My 3 year old little girl loves to be naked. The other day she said, "Take these jammies off me Mommy! I need to be naked like a big monster foot!"

Her new phrases are "Am I making you nervous?" and "Mom, please get out of my face."

When my son was about four he didn't want to do something I had asked him to do. I was just fed up at that point and said to him, "This isn't a democracy, this is a dictatorship!"

He looked me right in the eye and said " Fine! At night I take your dictatorship and fly around in it! And then I drop snobgobs in your mouth while you are sleeping!"
LOL - he is 11 now and we still have the joke about who is driving the 'dictatorship' around here.

BTW, he later explained to me that slobgobs are " a kind of candy that seem like they would taste good but are slippery like boogers" So I guess he showed me! :)

My five year old son likes to remind my husband and I just how old we really are. During a family game of "Sorry" the other night, he looked at me and said "Your turn crinkly mommy..." my response "Why am I crinkly?" "Because of those lines by your eyes." Ouch:)

My husband was asking him if they still had the time out circle to stand in at school during recess? (He must have spent his share of time there) To this our son says "No, dad...things are a lot different from a long long long long time ago when you were in school." lol.

My 9y son sleeps in a room at one end of the house. My 4y daughter S sleeps in a room next to us at the other end of the house/hall. One night they both wanted me to stay in their rooms. Dad so nope, I had to sleep in my own room. 'Everyone wants me to stay with them. What should I do S, sleep in the hall? ' 'Oh mom, your so silly, the hall doesn't have a bed!' A few seconds went by. 'I just don't know S. I don't want to make anyone sad.' 'Okay mom, you'll have to sleep in the hall then, but put your head on this end so I can see your eyes. C can look at your toes!'..

Sigh.

My 5yo DS was doing laps around the kitchen/living room area and DH was sitting in the middle of the living room trying to grab him every time he came by. At one point, DS came around the corner and said "No, No, No" and wagged his finger at DH then zoomed by him. DH laughed and said to me under his breath "hahaha - he's talking sh*t". Well the next time DS comes running around the corner he says "that's right - I'm talking spanish!" lol - we were rolling. That was a close one. Then after a couple more laps he comes around and says "you're a crazy mo-....(my eyes got wide but he finished with)...nster!" LOL! He kept repeating that crazy monster line for a while because we were laughing so hard = )