Silly Question About Party Etiquette

I would have just quietly walked over to the sink and washed them off.

If she was a really good friend I would have gone over and grabbed ALL the grapes and washed them off in the kitchen sink and then put them back where they were & then would have told my friend about it.

Sometimes when setting things out for a party you mean to do something and then get distracted, it's entirely possible she had meant to rinse them but just forgot? Even if she didn't intend on washing them its not a big deal...a quick simple rinse in the kitchen sink is not disrespectful or rude, IMO. I could be wrong but no harm no foul, ya know?

It may have been mold, that white stuff. It grows on grapes out in the field. I've made wine before and have encountered this.

My strategy? I would have eaten everything else on my plate and then hidden it under the napkin and tossed them and not made an issue of it.(Actually, I don't care for grapes, but when I've had less-than-desirable fruit on my plate, that's what I do. Act like it's no big deal and then deliver it to the trash myself.)

This isn't an etiquette issue at all at any point. I would have rinsed off the grapes in the sink from the very start. Why would that have been "horribly rude?" I live in New England and have excellent manners. This wouldn't be a blip on the radar.

I would just wash them and say that I got some of my other food on the grapes

no way would i eat them, and my appetite would be compromised enough at that point that washing them wouldn't do the trick. i don't think i'd ever eat gross food from a mistaken sense of good manners.
i'd just leave them.
few hostesses will grill their guests on why they left food on their plates, especially since she didn't cook it (or, apparently, bother to clean it.)
khairete
S.

If I am eating something I find gross I just tactfully put it in the trash. No need to make a big deal or draw attention, just get rid of it.

Could be they were organic.. The white stuff could have been a web.. And yes, that film can be normal. not due to pesticides.

But anyway.. I would have totally washed all of them.. I would have been as discrete as possible. Unless it was someone, I really did not know.

FYI, I do lots of events and I have learned one serving trick about grapes. Use kitchen sheers or scissors to cut the stems into smaller bunches.. Like 5 or 6 grapes to a small bunch and then put them back on the platter or in a bowl so they look like one bunch.. People are more likely to eat them, if they do not have to tear at or fight a bunch of grapes.

In my kitchen, everyone helps. So if you found gunk on your grapes and came in to wash them (the ones on the platter, too, please), I would have thanked you.

Getting ready for a party can be chaotic. And it's easy to overlook something like washing the grapes, especially if there are many "cooks" in the kitchen. So to me, it's no big deal to have a guest come in and help fix something. Just please don't eat bitter, dusty grapes with suspicious white goo on them. And don't let the other guests eat them either. Tell us!

Okay I have to throw this out there so you know in the future. That white bitter stuff is not a pesticide, it is a waxy substance that grapes produce to protect themselves. Some grapes, usually red grapes, produce it more than others. This is why I only eat green grapes. I digress...

Since it is wax, not amount of washing would have removed it from the grapes. Not sure what the white glob was but I am pretty sure you attributed it to bird poop only because you were already grossed out.

What would I have done, I would not have picked the grapes up in the first place. I have been aware of that wax since I was six and I look for it before picking up grapes because it is gross!

I wouldn't have said a word, then would have tossed them when I was finished with my plate. Gross.

I would have just gone and washed them. If you didn't feel you could do that just find a trash can and throw them away.

Without a comment, I would have washed them and the rest of the grapes too. If anyone asked about it, a calm "there was something sticky on them" would suffice.

I would have gone to the sink and washed them off.

I would not have eaten the unwashed, questionable grapes. I would have just left them on the plate when I put it where the used plates were to go.

I had to stop a minute and think about whether I would tell my friend, the hostess. It would depend on how good a friend she was, and how she would probably react. If I had been the hostess, I would have been glad for someone to point it out to me so I could have taken care of those nasty grapes right away. But that's me.

I would have maybe washed them off in the bathroom sink, if I could've gotten there discretely with my plate??!?!!!?!
Eeeewwwww......

I would go and surreptitiously wash them when no one was looking.

I'm kind of a freak about washing fruit and veggies, and I have often noticed at parties that grapes aren't cleaned to my satisfaction. I, like you, feel weird about rising them publicly.

I don't know what I'd do. Maybe "accidentally" drop them on the floor and then rinse them off? ew.

no chance you mistook her garnish for a snack??

If i had forgotten to rinse them and you called me on it even discretely it probably would have ruined my night no matter how nicely you said it, so i'm glad you just ditched the dish.

If she was a good friend, I would have told her.
Yuck.

You should have "accidentally" dropped them on the floor. Then, of course, you had to wash them! :)

Totally depends on the friendship to either leave them on the plate poop side up so she sees or to wash them (and the rest of the grapes).

Makes me wonder if she washed the other fruit and veggies??

If it was a big enough party I could casually put the plate down and "accidently" forget about it and get another plate later, I'd have done that and just left them. If it was smaller, I'd have left them on my plate but not eaten them or if I could get to a garbage with no one seeing, dumped them. If it was a super good friend, I'd have mentioned or gone to wash them. Only a super close friend...

I would do one of two things depending on how well I know the person.
If it's someone I know really well I would just pick up the whole thing of grapes and wash them off for her.
If it's someone I didn't know I would either #1- Wash them off for her or #2 go to the bathroom and wash off the ones I had taken.