Significant Other's Ex

she is probably thinking "If I keep harrassing the g/f she will give up and break it off then I can get him back". Until you are married this will continue happening. I have seen this in other relationships, because they decide after a while they really do want their husband back but now their husband has moved on and in their minds it's not too late until the new relationship is married so will try all they can to break up the relationship to try to get their life back. Until you are married there will always be hope for her to get him back. Once you get married she will realize it's over and may still give you problems especially if she sees that you are bothered by them but she will have to come to the reality that it's over and no chance of getting him back.

You are doing the right thing about being positive to their daughter about her mom. The worst thing about divorce is watching the kids feel torn between their parents and having one parent bash the other in front of them and then the child feels they are worthless because they are part of that parent and they also love both parents no matter what so is good that you try to stay positive for her sake.

No, i don't have a crazy ex to deal with but K., and you may not like me saying this, but it's time you pull out those boxing gloves.
What are you waiting for?
:)

K.,
I don't have any exes; still married to the woman of my dreams actually. However, in this I have a lot of experience. All my children are foster kids and as such I am forced to have some exposure to their family. Since I am raising their kids now, I am the villain (at first, but we have improved relations with them). Oddly, what you were already doing was exactly right. As foster parents we aren't allowed to talk badly about our foster children's parents and for good cause. Like it or not you are connected to that ex through your bf and his child. You start talking bad about her (especially infront of your bf's daughter) it will only hurt your own relationship. The daughter may or may not begin to dislike her mom, but for sure she will stop liking you which will have a negative effect on your bf (at least that's what happens most of the time per CPS). My advice is to keep vigilant and find ways to blow off some steam (like what you did by posting here). Privately and calmly speak to your bf about this and make it about your feelings and concerns and not about what she is doing wrong. Last, keep a light heart inside knowing that you are probably doing something right.

Contact FB and tell them that she is harassing you. Have them block her and make sure your webpage is as secure as it can be. Next ask your BF to tell her that she needs to stop trying to contact you and harass you. You want a civil relationship but will pursue whatever legal way necessary to have the harassment stop. You have been nothing but nice to her and she needs to stop.

Good luck, I know it sucks!

M

K., I agree with the others who said that at some point, you are going to have to put her in her place. Obviously, don't do it in front of the children. There is a woman I know who harassed me and tried to bully me, tried to get me fired, spread rumors that I was sleeping with her boyfriend...the list goes on. Strangely, she was always nice to my face, but I avoided her at all cost. She was jealous of me, the family I had, the stability I have with my husband, etc... Anyway, I had to finally step up to her (it helped that I'm 3 inches taller lol) and tell her to CUT IT OUT and that if she were to mess with me and my family again she would live to regret it. It worked. People who act like that are truly cowards, and although you have dealt with this situation with true maturity up to now, eventually you will have to stand up to her and tell her what for. Judging from your post you will do it with finesse, and hopefully she will leave you alone after that. Good luck.

wow, momwithcamera, judgmental much? What business is it of yours is it that he's going to be a stay at home dad? I think it's great that dads do this, he sounds like a man whose family comes first. He WILL be working, it's called >taking care of your children<. As a former SAHM, your post made my blood boil. How rude.

Well, welcome to the rest of your life. You aren't going to change this person, right? So you have to continue to ignore her. (And block her brother from your FB and don't give him or her another thought.) If you reply to her on FB, or in any other way, she was won. By you taking the high road, you are probably driving her crazy. Don't fight back. You won't win and it will just cause more trouble. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

Since you can't prove to FB it was her, I would un-friend those accounts that she has used without the consent of the account holder. I would explain to them (cousin and brother) why this is happening. You said you don't talk to one of them much on FB and the other is incapable, so nothing much is lost.

I agree that your BF should probably handle this. She will deny it and you won't get anywhere. There might come a time when you have to get authorities involved (restraining order?) so document everything. Eventually you might have to confront her and stand up for yourself in person, but avoid anything online if possible. Just my 2 cents...

Keep your chin up and keep taking the high road - you are doing a great job, and being a positive role model to both his daughter, as well as your child. Since she is your boyfriend's ex, I would let the boyfriend talk to her, and have it coming from him that it's inappropriate and uncalled for (as opposed to "K. tells me XYZ..."). Let him know you are doing all you can to be civil but she's making it almost impossible and you don't want to say or do something you will regret. I would also agree with reporting her to FB so hopefully that will never be a problem again.

And if it continues? You just might have to say something yourself - not nasty or hitting below the belt, but more like, "I'm sorry you feel that way. I would like to have a civil relationship with you and I care a great deal about your daughter. I have not done anything wrong and would appreciate it if you would start to treat me with some common decency and respect."

Lastly, not being judgemental or trying to sound "holier than thou", but if you and the boyfriend are serious, and already have a child together, maybe you both should think about getting married. It might have your relationship appear more serious and legitimate to the ex and she might finally have no choice but to back off and move on. Not saying you should get married just for that reason, but it might help add some sense of stability to the situation in everyone's eyes.

Just continue to ignore her. She only wants attention. As she matures this will lessen.

Bravo for taking the high road and not joining her Jerry Springer mentality! I think that if you continue to act like the better person she will eventually stop. She's trying to strain the relationship between you and your man, obviously. By the way Leann Rimes has a new song called Crazy Women(about ex's) that you can dedicate to her. Good luck!

K., you sound like you are doing all the right things. You can't prove it was her who wrote on your page, so drop it. Making an issue of it would only make her snicker in the background, which sounds like she doesn't need the fuel.

Since you put it out there, I wonder why your BF will become a stay at home dad. For the most part, we all need to work and you will need his financial support. That is unless you make millions.

You should not have gotten pregnant by this man. Now you will have nothing but trouble. All you can do at this point (you have no power) is just keep your mouth shut for the sake of your child. Let this woman do whatever she wants, be civil, and ignore her. But be careful; many times these men are leading on their exes and hiding it from the new girlfriend, and that's why exes are so angry.

She will eventually stop. I would not answer her. You have been the bigger person this whole time. If you cannot handle it anymore, have your bf talk to her. She sounds like a true nut case!

yes and i stayed out of it till she woke my baby at 5 am after i got him to sleep at 4 am I snapped on her and have never had another problem out of her. I think once you stand up to her she will go away. mines ex did.

Actually, I would call the police to see if you have any rights to have her stop her cyber bullying and harassment. They take stuff like that very seriously. I would be very worried about her behavior once your baby is born. She sounds like a loose cannon - she may try to harm you and the new baby.

Delete (or inactivate) your facebook account. I know you like the fb account to share things with your family but there are other private blogs that you can use to share things with your family.