Has Facebook Hurt Your Relationship with Your Husband?

Not with cheating, but hy hubby got a little to excited about mafia wars and farmville. I got mad because instead of helping me with the kids he played games! He has since stoped the games and only goes on to keep up with family. I agree with another poster. I go on my hubbys fb page and he goes on mine all the time.

No, but I would never re-connect with anyone...more importantly I don't WANT to. I only want to connect with my husband :)

Nope. We both have facebook and it doesn't effect either of us negatively. I can access his and he can access mine. WE don't keep secrets but we also respect the other's privacy with it as well.
M

My opinion is, if someone is gonna cheat using FB....they're probably already cheating in real life....maybe (probably) they already have. Yeah FB makes it easier to reconnect with "old flames" but so long as love and trust and honestly are a part of the current relationship that shouldn't be an issue. Example, both of my parents (in the 40's and 50's) have FB pages. An old GF of my dad's added him as a friend. BEFORE he accepted her friend request, he told my mom about it and asked her thoughts. My mom said she was fine with it but she did ask that they not exchange any messages. So does FB cause the divorce or does a lying cheating spouse cause the divorce?

I think it is silly to expect that a spouse is going to give someone their undivided attention every minute they are home. My husband is an introvert and I am a social butterfly. I would shrivel up and die inside if I waited for him to entertain me.

I am on FB several times a day, just as he is. I play games with my relatives and friends and he goes to sites he enjoys that have to do with computer repair and technical stuff.

I honestly believe there are lots of other things going on in marriages and with people that get blamed on something convenient that is not another person. They already had issues that they were not facing that just boiled over when they got ignored or too bothered by interruptions.

There are also cases of adults hurting their children for bothering them while they are playing games on FB, If anyone actually believes that FB was the real issue then they need to wake up. A mother doesn't shake her child to death because she is playing FV or even some other activity. There was something seriously wrong with her to begin with.

So, to cut to the chase, there was already something wrong with the person or relationship before FB ever became their scapegoat.

Nope not at all, I guess we are too old. We do not even see any drama with our friends, thank goodness.. Almost all of our family members are on FB even my 90 year old grandmother.. that is how she keeps in touch with her great grandchildren and all of us..

I guess if a person is into drama in real life, they will find drama on line too..

No problems with us. We make fun of each other, keep in touch with the grandparents, write goofy things our kids say, and play Scrabble with each other (can't manage anything with a real board with the kids around). I would imagine that if Facebook is being cited in divorce cases it is instead of something else that would have been cited under other circumstances or at another time.

Nope - not at all :) We each maintain our own account and both of us are friends with past gf/bfs.

The way we look at it is that after each relationship, we "traded up" for a "better model" until we found the one we liked :) Additionally, all those exes in our past helped us learn what we want and what we don't want in a relationship. Finally, I know of my husband's exes and they're actually lovely women.

It also helps that we built our relationship on trust and respect and took vows that we plan on honoring until the day we die.

No, if you know your boundaries.
Yes, if you cross that boundaries.
I like FB. My hubby doesn't. I told him updates about our friends and families from FB. I stopped playing games on FB if he's home. He is more important than my FB, and he knows that.
Though some friends got that old love blossoming again after they met on FB and jeopardized their marriage. Oh well, if it is not fb, maybe it will be something else. blackberry message ? chat room ?

Not in the least. I am the only one with an account because my husband doesn't feel like doing it. We essentially share the account, it just happens to be in my name.
I have friends, family, some of his co-worker friends that I am also friends with, people I went to school with all the way back to kindergarden! He's got people he went to school with as well.
He easily can read anything he wants to on my account. There is nothing to hide.
There are other problems with a relationship if Facebook causes issues. Facebook is simply what brought it to the surface. Facebook isn't the start of the issues in a relationship it's a symptom of the issues in a relationship.

No, not at all but if it was I would chunk it immediately, nothing is worth my marriage! I have seen some crazy things on there and I always wonder what the heck people are thinking. I just use it to keep up with friends and show off my lil cuties :D

no, why would it. i have a fb account and my hubby doesnt. part of marriage is being able to trust each other

if facebook was hurting my marriage i wouldnt have a facebook anymore

HI CS,

I don't know if that's true or not but I do see "friends" and "friends of friends" statuses change from "married" to "single" or "it's complicated" quite a bit....
It wouldn't surprise me as sometimes I feel like a voyeur when I read other's statuses....there are MANY things I simply don't want to know.....

M.

PS I have a facebook because my 18 year old is still under our roof. She allows me to monitor it....

for me personally? no. but i know a LOT of people who have had relationship issues from it. its just too easy to find bf's or gf's or to add people and have them post inappropriate stuff on your wall. its a big problem just for friendships and family relationships too because people post such controversial political views, pictures, etc.

Umm... well yes, here is an example. Two seemingly happily married couples are on facebook. husband from one couple & wife of other couple goes out of town for an annual community event. while there, they hook up pictures are taken & since they are several states away from anyone they know, they think the are safe. However said community event has a facebook page too and spouse at home get on that facebook page only to see their spouses sitting on each others laps & making out! Yep two divorces there and wives were best friends since kinder! how sad. So yes, facebook catches a lot of cheaters one way or another.

I'm on Facebook and DH is not. The only way it's been an issue for us is I like to spend time on Facebook after DD goes to bed at night, and DH is downstairs watching TV, and he sometimes seems to get his feelings hurt that I am not spending the time downstairs with him. But he also watches shows that I have no interest in, so I've told him that if he decides to watch shows that I don't care for, what does he expect me to do? But I'm not on there finding old boyfriends and reconnecting with them or anything - there's nothing I put on there that I would not be okay with him seeing. I just keep in touch with friends and post pictures of DD so that family that lives far away can see how she is doing. I did get contacted by my ex-boyfriend from high school, who now lives on the other side of the country and is married himself, but after we caught up with each other, that was it. I haven't heard anything else from him in months and I don't have any interest in getting involved in anything that would put my marriage at risk.

not me. i keep my page signed on, dh can go on as me anytime he wants. i dont think he does, but i dont know. anyway, i would never do anything that i wouldnt want him to see. and i can see his too. however, i do know couples where stuff gets touchy, i can def see it. i dont know about half, but what do i know...

Not for us, we are friends so we can see each other's wall. We have each others's passwords info so there are no secrets. Plus neither of us act immature or have "friends" that do so we don't have any problems. I have had a Facebook account for years and I love it.

I don't even pay attention to Facebook.
I grow tired of hearing "so and so said this and started stuff with that person and now they aren't talking to me because I responded that it was stupid and now somebody I don't even know is calling me names...."
No offense to anyone, but there are third graders who don't have that much drama.
I didn't hear anything about divorce statistics, but I know of someone whose long time boyfriend had pictures of him with women that were posted after an event that he was too "ill" to go to with her as they had planned.
It was a huge thing and she cried to everyone about it, but she stayed with him anyway.
I prefer staying out of all that mess.
Just my opinion.

Not mine, but i have read about many marriages that fall into ruins after people reconnect with old high school sweethearts and such. I see a lot of friends have public battles online as well. I also know it can cause family rifts between family members as well.

No. It is Facebook! That is just silly. (not you)

I don't think it's hurting my dinosaur friends - yet.

But my, the stories below are better than hiring a private investigator I suppose for spouses not in the know.

For my self personally no. But I have a friend going through a divorce who's wife reconnected with an old flame. Very sad as they have two young children.

It was vice versa. My exhusband was talking to girls on facebook and when I asked if he had a FB he said no (I didn't have one then) when I found out he was lying we argued about it because the reason he hid it was obvious.. I asked originally b/c my dad got a FB and I was like oh people actually have those. He absolutely refused to give me his password and when he did reluctantly I found out all these horrid little secrets/things he said behind my back that destroyed our relationship.

I know 4 or 5 couples that divorced over one of them being curious about how so and so, their ex, turned out, then it progressed to an affair, and then a divorce.