Sids?

J..
i am so so sorry and just wanna hug you. I haven't had this to happen to me but i just wanted to give you a virtual *HUG*.. you may email me if you ever wanna talk. ____@____.com

I had a very close friend of mine she had a baby a baby boy pass with sids at 2 months, I have had a lot of misscarriages to many to count the lasted I had he was 9 months ready to have, I thought I would never get over that one . we need to all let go in our own time.You do know it wasn't your fault and that you have to let go and I know it's hard, It's just one of thoses things we can't explain,I think that's hardest part for us as human is to want to know Why!!!!! Only god has that answer.I hope u have a good support system in place that helps and maybe talk to a counselor about your feelings and get them valated that u hurt and that's ok and we don't ever forget we just have to let time heals it's self weather it takes 1 to 10yrs,I gets better with each day, I will pray for u and your family J. P.S your not alone.

J. i have lost a baby too sids she was 3 months old when she passed and it has been almost 4 yrs since it happened all i can say is take one day at a time there is no timeline for gettin over this and all though i am dealing with it i still miss her everday of my life if u ever need too talk u can email me at ____@____.com ill keep u in my prayers J.

I have not lost a child to SIDS but I have dealt with being devastated by miscarriage and infertility. A resource which really helped me through that is http://www.silentgrief.com. There are message boards on there too and a lot of women who understand what it is like to lose a child whether before or after birth. I know there are some local support groups too. I think there is one through SHARE and Baptist Trinity does a lot of grief groups too, though I don't know if they have one specific to SIDS. (((((((((hugs)))))) to you, I think losing a child is the hardest loss of all...

PS. I just noticed the post below mine referencing therapy for dealing with loss. The therapy the poster is talking about is EMDR therapy. I know there are people in town who do that, I just can't think of who!

I have never been where you are. although I still wanted to send you a message saying that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

I had two miscarriages and I know that is not the same.
I just wish there was someone I could have talked to at the time.
I want you to know I am here for you. ALSO IT SEEMS ALOT OF OTHER MOMS ARE TOO.
I WILL BE THINKING OF YOU.
PLEASE TAKE CARE FOR THOSE ANGELS THAT ARE STILL IN YOUR HOME
HERE ON EARTH.

BEST WISHES,
T.
____@____.com

J.,

I first wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss. I know it must be hard to keep going sometimes for your other three children. I personally have never dealt with the loss of a child, (Before the Grace of God go I) however, I am very close to a situation.

My grandmother lost my mother's sister at the age of 18 months. She had a strange heart disease it turns out and collasped and died in front of my mother, aunt, cousin and grandmother one day. In those days, things were handled differently. My grandmother still cannot talk about her easily and goes into a trance like state when talking about the past.

Years later, as I was studying to become a psychologist in college, when a guest speaker spoke of a special type of therapy for people who've suffered a tramatic loss. (Because I am not practicing...I've forgotten the name. Its been six or seven years!) However, Rapid is in the name. If you see a therapist, ask them about it. Also, I would look into some hyponotherapy. I feel that many people who have dealt with tragic losses such as yours, do better when they are in a relaxed state. Letting their true feelings come out without being quite aware, to help with the pain you are suffering.

I hope I have made sense. The reason I stress you get this therapy, is that I know it will benefit your whole family. I know, that if my Grandmother had had this therapy, my whole family would be stronger today. My mother was greatly affected by the situation and still has problems to this day with loss and fears, which in turn has affected me greatly as I am very close to my grandmother and mother.

Well, I don't know if I have helped you at all! But I felt like I just had to e-mail you. By the way, I too suffer from extreme depression. I understand the down days. They make you want to curl up in a ball, draw the curtains and stay in bed for the day. Keep your head up. It sometimes feels like a bottomless pitt, I know, but you will be a surviver. You just have to have faith.

Sincerely,
Lee

it is so hard, we just lost our grandaughter a few weeks ago, she was only 6 months old, we miss he so much, my daughter isnt doing so well, i wish i could understand it all but i cant, everyone says in time things will get better, but i dont think it will, we will never forget our little one, we know she is up there looking down on us, but the thing is we wish she was here so we can hold her, paetyn, 8/10./09 to 2/16/10 so u are not alone, please get back to me, this is hard for everyone

J.,
I never had a experience with baby being passed away with SIDS but I can relate your emotions of loss because I did lost my son to the disease (digeorge syndrome). I really know how you feel. I know the feeling of the life that has been taken away from you and twist it around. I still do have hard time dealing with my son's death. He was my first born and so angelic that it hurts me everyday thinking about him. Most people will say that it will take time to heal and deal with the loss. For me, I know that it will be forever for me to move on. I do miss him every single day. Turn your pain to God and he will help you deal with the pain, just give it all up and when time comes you can look back and say, "My angel is with God now and I should feel so comforted that she/he is in God's care. I dont know if you believe in God, but he is the answer. My prayers are with you....

L.

Hi J.,
I just wanted you to know that God doesn't lose any babies...for they are up in heaven! He has counted for every one of them! I know that doesn't make things much easier here on earth, but we can see them again in heaven one day!...I can't imagine the pain of losing such a sweet angel; a precious baby and the daily reminders of that but I did have a miscarriage between my 1rst and 2nd child. That was a tough time for me, but I finally realized I had to place my trust in God and that He was in control even though I had questions, doubt, fear and lonliness. God loves you and He will give you rest.

J., I have not had an experience with SIDS. I just want to let you know I hurt for you and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Have you sought counseling, specifically to talk about the loss of your baby? (If you're a churchgoer, the pastor should be able to help you, or at least point you in the right direction.) It'll be tough, but in the long run it will help you heal.

Also you may want to look for a support group for SIDS parents. I don't know how current this info is - I got it off the Net. BLESSINGS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

Tennessee SIDS Alliance
Ms. Lisa Hunt
7603 Moon Crest Ct.
Powell, TN 37849
Phone: ###-###-####
Home: ###-###-####
Email: ____@____.com

Tennessee Department of Health
Ms. Jacqueline Johnson
SIDS Program Director
Cordell Hull Building
425 Fifth Avenue, 5th Floor
Nashville, TN 37247-4701
Phone: ###-###-####
Fax: ###-###-####
Email: ____@____.com

I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS! i have never been through this, but i will keep you in my prayers!!

How awfull for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Just take it one day at a time and be thankfull for the family you have. An old friend of mine just lost his wife and 3 year old daughter in a car accident on Friday the 13th. He is blessed that his 5 month old baby survived the accident. Sometimes we don't always understand Gods ways, but he does have a big picture in mind. Think of your baby as someone else's baby's gaurdian angel.

J.,
you may not ever get over that fedling but you are dealing with it becuase you are able to talk about it. I have never experienced SIDS, I have had a miscarriage, I know its not totally the same, but we did lose a baby,and god had blessed us with two more. my mother had a brohter Micahel and he died from SIDS, i remember him vaguely becase i was about 5, and now I have a son named Michael. Le Go and Let God, he knows his every move....
please take care of yourself and get some help, you cannot deal with that alone you are human....

J.,

I am reading a book by Kay Aurthur entitled "Silver Refined" and it is about learning to cope with the disappointments that life brings our way. I don't think books fix things...but what they do is help us to is feed our minds truth.

In this case - learning that God is too wise to make a mistake by allowing your little one to go home early and that He loves us too much to be unkind is all important. Getting to know God's character, getting to know Him better, developing a relationship with Him to get you through every difficult moment is the only way I see that helps others survive these severe disappointments. I have no idea how I would cope with this life if I didn't believe in his Sovereignty.

Those that told you to be grateful for the short time you had her and to focus on the blessing you have in the three living with you are right. We came close to loosing our first grandchild at birth...and I was blessed to see my son in law, sobbing...lean toward my daughter and say...if we go home empty handed, we are going to be grateful for the nine months we have had this baby in the womb because it has been a joyous gift. That is SO hard...but this I know: there is Peace in acceptance.

Fight, J.. Keep fighting for what is right... My prayers are with you...

J.

J.,

i am so sorry for your loss. one of my cousins had a baby pass away to sids. she was only one month old.