Post Miscarriage Woes

I also recently suffered a miscarriage after two completely uneventful pregnancies with my two boys (ages 8 and almost 6). I was 12 weeks and I had to have a D&C since my body was having trouble miscarrying by itself. I actually just passed my due date this past Tuesday. It was hard. It feels wrong somehow, you know, to think that there should have been a baby here right now. We were told after the miscarriage that I should wait to have one normal cycle before trying to again because otherwise, our chanced of miscarrying again were increased. I would ever want to increase their chances of a miscarriage. Your body is probably just trying to get itself sorted out and as much as you want to get pregnant right now, you probably would wish for a healthy pregnancy more. So, just be patient and let your body do its thing. Our bodies are truly a miracle and most of the time they know what they need. And that is not to take away from the fact that you have a right to feel bad about it. You have a right to be sad about losing the baby AND you have a right to be sad about not conceiving again quickly. Have you tried taking your basal body temperature? By charting your temperature, you may get some insight as to when your body is ovulating. Or you could always take it a step further and get an ovulation kit. OR you could just have fun trying until it happens. :)

Have you tried charting? There is a wonderful free website www.fertilityfriend.com. There are some features that you will have to pay for after a 30 day trial period, but you can just drop those features and chart for free if you want. Anyway, it might help you figure out where you are in your cycle. I had a miscarriage a year ago February and it's still hard for me to deal with at times. We too are trying to get prognant again. We took about a 6 month break from baby making after the miscarriage so I could heal emotionally. I lost my grandmother (she was like a mother to me) on the day I found out I was pregnant and then lost the baby 2 weeks later, so it was a very rough time for me. We've been trying for #2 for about 9 months now. It's been a long, long road.

Don't rush it. I had 4 miscarriages before I finally stayed pregnant. Give yourself time to heal. If your cycle is off, just enjoy the time with your husband, but don't worry about getting pregnant. I had similar issues and I needed to get over the fear of it happening again. Then I was able to conceive. Good luck!! (also you may want to change your blog -you have a 27 yr. boy?) : )

well i have had two miscarriages and both times it took my about 3-4 months to get back to normal. but with my second miscarriage i ended up getting pregnant on my second normal cycle. and that baby is now almost 2. good luck i hope u can get pregnant right away just give it a couple more months.

G.,
I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I found a lot of comfort in my trust in God and that he knows what he is doing. Better now than further along and a second change for a "Healthy" baby instead of one with problems. I'm also a 'statistic'. They say that 20% of pregancies end in miscarriage and its true for me. I have four kids and had five pregnancies. Mine took forever too and ohhhhh the cramping!!! But they say that you are pretty fertile after a miscarriage so keep trucking along because it might happen before you know it. Two years ago my due date was in November of 2006 and after my miscarriage my next (fourth) child came in February 2007! Keep the Faith and Hope for the future. You know, my Sis In-law had a miscarriage too and her daughter's name is Faith and my daughter's middle name is Hope! LOL. Good Luck, my prayers are with you and your family. Keep us posted!

If you have any particular questions, I'd be glad to answer. I found an experienced friend to talk to and it helped me a lot! E-mail me at ____@____.com if you need me. Take Care!
C.

How long has it been since you started yur last cycle? If it has been more than 35 days, I would recommend taking a test and then calling your doctor to have him prescribe Provera to get your next cycle started. Did your doc give you a time frame that he/she thought you should wait to start trying again? Having been there myself, I wish you the absolute best! :)

Hi G.,

I too had a miscarriage at 16 weeks, and it takes a lot out of you emotionally, mentally and physically. But let me tell you sista, miscarriages are more common than we know, your body knows how to get pregnant, and soon you will have to be careful, or they will keep coming. I had three beautiful children after my miscarriage. What helped me cope with the miscarriage is the fact that God is in control and there is a reason for my pregnancy ending. Have faith that you will be taken care of.

after mine, it took about 6 months to get "regular again". not that I ever really was to begin with. The clear blue easy thing really helped (A LOT) with out it there would not have been a way to figure out when I ovulated as it tended to be around day 23 (that's crazy). But, give yourself time, as after a miscarriage you need to build up your folic acid again. Your body lost all that after the miscarriage and you want to give your baby and body the best chance next time. It is soooo hard to wait - I know. And I wanted to pinch the heads off of people who told me to be patient. But, do what you can, and focus on that. All the rest you have no control over. Remember there is about 25% each time - even if everyting timing wise is perfect- to actually conceive. So, don't be hard on yourself. You might be doing everything well, it's just a odd thing. It's not your fault, or anything you are doing most likely. It's bigger than you. And respect that - it helps :)

I went through infertility. And the specialist had me read the books The Makers Diet and The Sugar Busters. They have helped everyone that I have recommended them to. These work. I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there. But, I believe you will be fine after you look at these books. M.

I have had many miscarriages in the past 3 yrs and I can tell you from experience that you should probably wait up to 6 mos before you start trying again. The dr.s told me that this give your body the time it needs to recover and things get back to normal, such as hormones, menstrual cycles and so on. There is a book called the fertility diet in which I am gonna try. I have been told that it works as good if not better than fertility drugs... I am sorry for your loss and I wish you the best of luck!

I would wait until your cycle is completely back to normal before you try again. Also, depending on how far along you were should determine when your body will be ready to conceive again. I had a late miscarriage at 20 weeks with delivery and doctors advised me to wait at least six months before trying again. The longer you wait the better your chances are at carrying the next baby to full term. Good luck!

I am so sorry for your loss, G.. I went through this before my son (now 12) was born. I miscarried twice, the second on was a placenta previa miscarriage and I almost died from the bleeding. BY that time my husband was scared to try again but I was insistant( thank goodness or we wouldnt have my son) We did wait 8 months before trying to get pregnant with my son. The first miscarriage I didn't mourn, since we started trying again within the first 6 months, but the second one was hard. I did have some depression, but one thing I did do was buy these cute little baby duck stuffed toys in memory of the lost pregnancies. They helped with the left over mothering instinct that I had that didn't have an outlet, :)
I think that many of the Moms that answered you suggested waiting at least 6 months, I think it's good for your body to heal as well as for your heart.

I so sorry G.!! I had my first miscarriage around the time that you had yours. What seemed to help the most was being around the father of my lost child. It made me feel like I wasn't morning for no reason. The hardest part I think of my miscarriage was the fact that I had nothing to show for it. So I also burried an uni-sex new born out fit in my yard. I burried it by a tree so I will always remember where I put it with out having a marker. And keep busy, but that's pretty much a given with your 2 kids and a puppy. But hang in there!!

i almost feel guilty responding to you,as i've not had to face these type of issue, myself ,thank God. i do want to say bless you and your husband. please remember you get an extra angel i'm sure she anticipates meeting you. you're gonna be a beautiful mama, when the time comes. God bless...meg

Most doctors suggest waiting 6 months or so before trying again to let your body heal nad get back to normal. I had a miscarriage in Nov of 02'. And waited until June of 03' to try again. And was blessed with a baby girl. Your body may need more time to heal.

I have never had a miscarriage, but I have lost a baby. My daughter had complications of amniotic band syndrome & lived for 1hr. & 16 min. w/o breathing (she had little to no lungs). We were told we could start trying again after 6 weeks, but my periods were messed up & came every other month. I would get my hopes up & have them crash down. It took a full year of trying to get our 2nd son (now 2).
Personally I think Cathy R is wrong about 'better now than further along'. We knew our daughter would die after birth, but I held onto her for 11 weeks after her diagnosis. She was born at 36 weeks gestation. No matter how far along you are it still hurts the same. I know how hard it can be to have to wait, but it will happen in God's time & he will watch over you!

God Bless!
K.

miscariages stink in so many ways, i am sorry that that you had to experience one. I think others have said something to the fact about waiting, it is the best thing for you to do. give your body, mind, and soul time to heal. Depending how far along you were it sometimes is a nice way to remember or perserve the baby so to speak if you plant a tree, "build a bear", something tangable that your 3 1/2 yo and even your following children are able to hold on to. My doctors in the Navy always encouraged a 3-4 month waiting time, just to get the regularity of cycles and uterine conditions back to "normal". On the funny 27 yo boy, you got me and probably others for awhile, it was a good one!