Sibling Rivalry - Lubbock,TX

Two is just a tough age. They are still babies who need mama but have some control over things in their world which can lead to a lot of frustration. Add that to you being tired by the additional responsibility of a newborn who doesn't sleep all night and a toddler who is up all day. It's exhausting.

I always had a rule that the toddlers were never allowed to touch the baby. They could be helpful in other ways but touching was off limits. It just made it easier since it's hard for a toddler to be gentle.

Two yr olds also have poor inpulse control and they tend not to remember things for very long so you'll have to remember to tell your little one over and over that people do not hit other people. You can say something like: I'm going to hit you! No, people don't hit people but I can give you a hug. And then you give the toddler a hug.Then when your 2 yr old comes over to hit say oh no people don't hit people but maybe you can give a hug instead.

As everyone has said you or your hubby needs to spend some quality time with your toddler. When you are not busy with the baby take 10-15 minutes to play with your 2 yr old. They love to feel included so I always let my kids pick out which outfit the baby should wear, which socks the baby needed, which diaper was to be put on next.

I have been there! Your toddler needs some Mommy time. When you infant goes down for a nap do an activity with your toddler 15 miniutes of one on one goes a long way. When you are breast feeding play "eye spy" or something interactive like that. Always include your toddler in everything like a diaper changes for the newborn have toddler pick out the new diaper to put on the baby, they are great little helpers and then they feel included. Hope this helps~D. Aka The Mommy Consultant www.themommy-consultant.com

It's time to call in the calvalry. You will need to spend more time with the 2 year old. The 2 year old doesn't know what the heck is going on. The toddler only knows I was once the center of attention and now I'm not. That was my breast and now it's not. "What the Heck is going on?!?"

Your toddler is lashing out because expressing feelings isn't the level he or she is at.

Try to find someone to watch the baby while you spend some quality time with toddler. Sometime you may need to switch it up to spend time with baby while someone else takes toddler for a walk or to the park or outside to play.

I hope this helps some.

Since I'm passionate about teacing parents about emotional intelligence, I would ask you to ask your daughter what her feelings are that are causing her to hit. Once you can understand this better, you might have something better understand how to help her.

A two year old is not to young to experience limits and consequences or rewards. If you have not given her limits, now is the time to start. I have written an article on using time in instead of time out and if you are interested, you can read it at www.ontheballparent.com/blog

Lastly, I often ask parents in your position to pull out pictures of your two year old when she was a baby. Show her how tender she was and how everyone was so careful to take care of her so she could grow. This helps her understanding.

Engage her on feeling important in her role of big sister. Maybe she can tell the baby a story while you are nursing.

Best wishes.

My son showed horrible jealousy every time I nursed. This may not help with your problem, but since I used both breast and bottle I stated using the bottle more and letting my 2 year old help with the feedings so he did not feel so left out. It ended the jealously issue for us.

Sit your toddler down and tell him/her that you still love them but that the baby has to eat right now. Or you could give them a snack while you feed the baby. Try to spend some quality time with him/her when your husband gets home for just the two of you. That way he/she knows that you still have time for them and that you still love them as much as before. You just have a full plate to deal with now. Take them somewhere that they love to go just the two of you even if its only thirty minutes or so. They will appreciate it. And believe me its not easy when you got two toddlers and a baby. They drive me crazy sometimes still and they are all turning into teenagers now. So I do understand completely....

Try giving the toddler one on one attention. I know hard! Have special time- it sounds like he / she is jelous!
Talk it over with her explaining she is hurting the baby!
Good luck!

M.
Working From home and loving it!
Also- working on BA in early childhood!

It will get better...eventually, lol. I have a 9 year old, a 6 year old and a 23 month old and a 5 month old. My daughter (toddler) can be so sweet sometimes, but I know better than to turn my back on her and the boy. She will take any opportunity she can go make him cry. I don't think he's had a scratch-free face his entire life...poory guy. I know she's acting out to seek attention since she mostly does it when I'm busy with housework or something. The best thing I've found is that when she's mean to him, I give him more attention and ignore her bad behavior. I also tell her (as I'm picking up the crying baby) that when she makes brother cry I have to hold him more.

Get yourself a pack & play...it will likely be the only safe place for your baby for the next few months, lol.