Well, I hate to tell you this, but you are wife #3. I'm not saying that's good or it's bad, but it is what it is.
My daughter's father had a different girlfriend just about everytime my daughter had visitation with him. The courts did not see it as a problem.
I have a friend whose mother has been married about 8 times because she felt that morally, she shouldn't be having sex with someone she wasn't married to. That led to a bunch of kids with a bunch of different dads and a bunch of divorces. All of her kids, now adults, still love her and try to protect her from husband #9.
I personally would not have done that to my own children but it didn't make her a bad mother. Bad judgement? Impulsive? Yes.
A serial marrier? Yes.
There are people like that.
You are a stay at home mom with 3 kids and I'm guessing only one of them is with your ex.
All I know is that it's really hard to get the court to see a distinction between one child being subjected to new spouses on one side and not the other.
You have a right to be concerned, but saying he will marry someone and actually doing it might be two different things.
Sooner or later, it would seem that being wife 5, 6, 7 or 8 wouldn't have much appeal.
Your daughter is 8. She is a child, to be sure, but my daughter never put any stock in the women in her dad's life because they came and went more regularly than the change of seasons. She didn't get attached. She didn't invest anything in it.
Part of her being able to handle it was the fact that she was in counseling so she could sort things out. She was a child and the adult stuff was something she was around, but she didn't have to repeat. She in no way believed it was just normal day to day in serious relationships.
My daughter actually liked some of the girls her dad had her around but she never had any false hopes they would stay. They always left him.
That's just the truth of the matter.
I didn't have to say anything bad. I didn't have to threaten, I didn't even have to mention I didn't like it. The women always left. And he'd have another one two weeks later.
Parents aren't perfect, and sometimes kids learn what NOT to do based on example.
Instead of saving money for an attorney, for now, I would get your daughter into counseling so that she has an outlet for her feelings. Her father may never change. That's not a reflection on her in any way.
She can't control it or change it. To an extent, neither can you.
You can get help where you are to put things in perspective and perhaps get a game plan. At least your daughter's emotions can be dealt with.
Your emotions can be dealt with separately. In counseling.
Not to be a downer, but I don't know how many other children your ex has, you may never see a penny.
I was entitled to a large support award and there was no such thing as getting it. I'm still a single mom working to support myself and my one child who is still at home. There was no depending on support. I don't mean that to upset you, but you have to do what you have to do to support your kids and IF you get support, that's icing on the cake. I learned early on never to count on it.
Which was wise.
Men doing the right thing by their kids doesn't always happen and it may not seem fair, but I always said that my kids had ONE parent who would work her butt off and they had a 50% chance of turning out okay.
They've turned out more than okay.
Your daughter will be okay too. She really will. Get her in to see someone to help her deal with the dad/women issues so she doesn't think it's her fault, or she can fix it, or she has any control over it.
She can still love her dad, but she may have some questions for him.
~Only 10 more years and you don't have to deal with him?
Yes, you do. I've got two more years before my son is 18 and I have to deal with his dad practically on a daily basis because of my son's activities and things. We get along much better now than when we were married. I've put the hurt and anger aside because I have shouldered everything and that's just the way it is. But, my son loves his dad. And, his dad has been much nicer to me in the last year or so.
We took the gloves off.
My daughter's father and I never speak. She is 24 and she doesn't even speak to him. I remind her every year of his birthday and ironically, all he talks about is some new girlfriend. Not one thing has changed, but she doesn't even let it bother her anymore.
You've got a long road ahead and your daughter being okay comes first. Money or no money. She can turn out just fine if he's a flake. She can turn out just fine if he gets married 80 times.
Trust me.
Best wishes.