Hi mommas, I am at a crossroads with the hubby. We are expecting #3 in July, our first boy. Needless to say we need new EVERYTHING! Pink just isn't going to work. My husband and I had decided he would sell his motorcycle so we could get $$$ to redo my eldest daughters room so the girls could share, buy new furniture for the baby, and put in sod. Don't get me wrong, this is a motorcycle that just sits in our garage. My husband does not ride it and hasn't in about a year. He is just too busy. I am all for him having a motorcycle, now just doesn't seem like the right time.
As the baby's due date gets closer and closer (and with each payday passing!) I am getting more and more worried that we just won't be able to save the $$$ we need for these things. My husband has not brought up selling the bike but I'm not sure if I should push him on it or let it go. I don't want to start a fight, but really need to figure this out.
What would you ladies do? I was so hoping he would give the initiative and say "go ahead and put an ad in the paper, let's get it sold." Hasn't happened. I know it is harder for my hubby to give up HIS things for the kids than it is me. But I don't have anything I could sell to bring in this $$$.
Thanks for your advise ladies, I appreciate it.
Problem solved. My hubby just called and the bike is sold. I guess he did see the importance. This motorcylce was not his baby, just a bike we bought to get him by. We will be buying him a new bike in a couple years. Right now he works out of town during the week and has no time to ride. I am all for motorcylces and my hubby having one. I would just rather him have one he can enjoy!
As far as redoing my daughters room, to me it is something that HAS to be done. I would never expect my kids to make such a transition without a big to do! So is the nursery.
Thank goodness my hubby knows me well and loves me and my crazy ways.
I know that you have already responded, but I want to let you know my DH is the same way. He just puts things off or plain forgets without being reminded. I feel like a nag reminding him, but sometimes you have to take one for the team.
I'm having my first girl too (baby #3) and this was very hard on a single-income family. However, don't worry, it can be done.
You don't need to redo your oldest daughter's bedroom (we're using our guest room and it's staying the way it is, in a neutral color, and just decorating with accessories).
Look for an affordable crib that can transition into a toddler bed. With prices of these sky high, we found a great quality crib at Buy Buy Baby for $350. It takes about 12 weeks to get delivery. There are other affordable cribs in stock but they may not convert into toddler beds. If you are on their mailing list, they'll send you a 20% coupon. Here are the store locations:
http://www.buybuybaby.com/store_loc.asp?
You don't mention how old your girls are. If the youngest is less than five years old and you stll have her gear, you can still use it, provided you haven't been in a crash (for the car seat) or his crib hasn'be been recalled (google the brand and model number, usually on an inside railing). If you want to buy a new seat, head over to Bed Bath and Beyond or Buy Buy Baby (same owners) and use one of the 20% blue BBB coupons you get in the mail. You might be able to get a new replacement color in a another color if the one you have is pink and this really bothers you, instead of buying the whole seat.
Also, tag sales and thrift shops (especially in high-end neighborhoods) are a great place to get gently used gear and baby clothes. I bought most of my baby girls clothes for $2-4/ outfit.
First, I would discuss the issue with your husband. Ask him how he really feels about selling the bike. If he is for it, then he may just be being a guy. My experience with men is that most wouldn't take the time to list it for sale. You may have to do that end of it. I would recommend craigslist.org because it is free to list and you are trying to save money.
If he really does not want to give the bike up, you may want to rethink your plans. You do not want to "push" the issue too much. It will only lead to resentment regardless if he really doesn't ride or not. He will not see it that way.
I would also recommend that you buy all used furniture to save money. There are plenty of nice things that people need to sell. Again, I recommend Craigslist.org for this. I buy and sell nice stuff all the time from that site. You can also try Freecycle.org. That is also a great place to give away and get free stuff. Another idea, I'm not sure if you need to paint. If so, you can go to your local home improvement store and buy premixed paint that people decided not to buy (wrong shade or color) for cheap (like $5 a gallon).
Good Luck!!
Sounds to me that if he really wanted to sell it, he would have done it by now. Can you get the money from something else or use what you have or downscale your plans?
I wouldn't sell something to get $$$,we are pregnant for 9 months why haven't you and your husband saved up some $$$ or bought things here and there with each pay check or get what you needed to get done in the home before baby comes.Why try to do all this in the end before baby gets here.Sounds like you know your having a boy for sure so all pink won't do but i'm sure you can get by with the bouncer swing and play pen the baby isn't going to know the color of it as for clothes yes buy all boy's clothes.
I don't know about your husband, but mine is a procrastinator and forgetful. I sometimes read more into it than really is there. I have had many discussions with him about this and the end result is that he said if I ever want him to do anything I need to write it on his list (he uses post-it notes as to-do lists) with a due date and any specific instructions. I would be so offended if he did this to me, but he genuinely wants to be helpful but isn't capable of doing it without that level of support so he asks me to do that. Maybe it's worth talking with him about how to handle such issues in general or gently bringing up the bike again. I know I do better when I talk things out rather than just stewing. Good luck with the new baby!
Well, you could let it go and just dress the boy in pink, and put him in the "girl room." He won't care as a baby, but your husband will, and it would not surprise me that you had both a room, and the other items toot sweet, without saying a word.
If it is eating at you, I would just talk about it. He may be having trouble letting go of his past. It is difficult for them because so much rests on their shoulders that we just don't understand. If it were my husband, he would like for me to seem irritated and give the "fight" a distraction toward my attitdue becaues that would give him more of an "out" on how he is feeling, even though he knows it is not logical. Just a thought.
M.
Glad you got the bike sold. Go on Craig's list, garage sales or thrift shops to pick up barely used items for cheap. I post my things on their all the time and get good responses. You can redo for less and start a fund for your hubby's new bike.
Good Luck and God Bless with #3.
I know this is resolved, just wanted to say congrats that it was so smooth, and on the boy! They are wonderful!
I would ask him during a loving moment (snuggling on the sofa). I would ask him in a way such as 'remember when you offered to sell your bike to help with money for the family? How are you feeling about it today? i.e. have your original question be open so he he doesn't feel put in a defensive situation. If he says that he doesn't want to sell it, try not to get upset. Try to be compassionate and ask if he has any other solutions to getting money. There also comes a time when you may have to let him 'figure it out' and if problems arise, let him 'figure it out' without getting into 'i told you so' or angry. Men want to provide for the family, let him provide and trust in him-which you can also let him know if he says 'let me worry about it'. tell him ok, i trust you and then snuggle him some more.
good luck, it's a touchy situation.
I agree - don't push the issue yet. Have you tried consignments or things like Craigslist for gently used furniture? I have had lots of success - you just have to be patient and keep checking. I'm with you - when I'm ready to redecorate and get moving on something I really want it done, but sounds like you have a lot of changes now and it just takes them longer sometimes to "get it". Be patient, and if he's really willing to let it go then it will happen - just not necessarily on your timeframe.
Good luck with #3
Gonna agree with most of the other moms.
I'd not push it - simply because he's holding onto it for some reason you may not understand, and he can't verbalize at this time.
We went through this when I was in college. My parents had gone into debt as my dad's always been a contractor to the federal government. There were 2 of us in college, and when the government has furloughs and hiring freezes, there isn't much you can do. I was so frustrated that both my sister and I had to take a year off of school, were working multiple jobs (I had 3, she had 2) to help pay the mortgage, and my dad wouldn't sell his prized possession, his first car. It was the one thing that was his and had extreme sentimental value.
I'm going to guess the same is true for your husband's motorcycle, and though I'd be upset that he was putting his own priorities over the families, I do agree that redoing the older girls' bedroom, buying new furniture, etc. may not be as much of a priority to him at this time.
I think you can gently bring-up the subject to find out why he's having a tough time with the promise he made and talk through both of your points of view, but I'd personally choose not to fight this battle at this time.
Good luck, and I hope you enjoy your baby boy!
I don't think I would push it. Unfortunately, I think motorcycles to men, our their babies. If he decides to sell it, he needs to be the one to do it. Maybe make some changes to what needs to be done: plant grass seed instead of sod, it will take a lot longer, but it is cheaper. Decorate the girls room first. The baby isn't going to know he is sleeping in a pink room. If that really bothers your husband, that his baby boy has to sleep in a pink room....maybe that will give him the incentive to sell the bike.
