Hubby Wants Motorcycle, I Don't Want Him to Have One.

In an ideal world you should both get motorcycles and do weekend trips together! And leather pants! And matching tatoos! ok, just kidding on that one. You live in Arizona...a great place to ride I bet. Sorry...I have no good advice for you. What if you make him take a super safety motorcycle driving class where it teaches you to be extra careful? And what if he only used in on nice weekends for a fun outing or mini day trip? I think you should let him get it...you only live once and you have to do the things you love in life!

My husband has a motorcycle and has had one since before I met him. I no longer ride (as a passenger or driving) and he is OK with that. I have seen a few motorcycle accidents up close and I get too nervous to ride, sounds like you do too.

It is important for the bike driver to be very alert because there are those people that don't pay attention to anyone, not just bikes on the road but other cars as well. It may also be better for you to not go with if him if you are this nervous, you could cause him to have an accident.

My husband is so happy and enjoys taking a drive and he is an experienced rider so I don't worry. I also don't get overwhelmed with things I cannot control. Examples: he could walk outside and get run down, have a car crash, and so on.

I have no idea how Aflac works, try Google for that.

If it matters my hubby rides a Harley. He doesn't commute to work and only rides on the weekends. My SS and his girlfriend both ride bikes to commute to work and school and they have been for years. I used to worry when they first got their bikes, but they are experienced riders now and I don't worry about them either (they don't ride Harley's).

You demand that he buy an expensive life insurance policy with a double indemnity accidental death and dismemberment rider. You also demand that he get long term disability insurance that will pay him if he is no longer able to work. You also set up financial and medical powers of attorney in case he is incapacitated so that you can take care of business matters and make decisions about his health for him. Make sure that his and your wills are what you want them to be, too.

If he doesn't do ALL of this, I'd take that motorcycle and put it in a storage room and tell him that until he showed me the paperwork that said his insurance was set up and the first YEAR paid for, that you won't tell him where the storage facility is.

And yes, I'm serious. Will it cause you marital problems? Yes. Should you care? NO.

He's being selfish. You can be selfish, too. If he's hanging by a thread in the hospital, at least you won't have to worry about losing the house. If he's dead, he won't have to be picking up the pieces of your family's life. That will be your job.

Accept nothing less, Viola.

You just accept the fact that you decided to marry a guy who rides motorcycles. This isn't a surprise and you had plenty of time to decide when you were dating whether or not this would be a deal breaker. You chose to marry him knowing that his is important to him, so it is what it is.

If it makes you feel better, then make sure his life insurance policy is good and up to date, and take out a disability policy on him as well so that if gets injured and can't work, you still have income.

I hate motorcycles. Honestly they are a deal breaker for me but husband knew my feeling before we were married and he agreed to never ride.

Your husband is a grown man and can do what he wants. I would just make sure he has great life insurance and certainly great disability insurance.

I agree with Doris Day. My husband had a motorcycle when we got married and I love them. But he sold it when we had our first child. He might get one again when they are grown but he is mature enough to put off one known risk until the kids are grown. But if your husband is determined, yes, protect yourself. I'd ask him if it's really worth the risk he will be killed or incapacitated and leave his kids without a father. Yes, he can get hurt in a car or walking down the street but for the most part, people have to walk and drive cars to get to work and for necessities. And here's an easy quote I found just googling: "let's add some more information from the NHTSA. There were 33.38 fatalities per each 100 million miles of travel on a motorcycle while there were only 1.28 fatalities per each 100 million miles of passenger car travel. That argues that you are TWENTY-SIX times more likely to get killed riding a motorcycle than you are when riding in a car."

Life is dangerous. My husband commutes 42 miles each way to work. He is more at risk than someone driving 2 miles to work - more time on the road equals more risk. Should he quit his job? Ummmmmm . . . no. He is a grown man, making grown man decisions. If it about being able to afford it, I guess that is more of a family decision, but I'm not going to choose my husband's hobbies or lifestyle for him (some see cycles as a hobby , others as a way of life) - those are part of who he is and why I love him. If he took up hang gliding, I would be surprised, but supportive.

The poster that says you have to get AFLAC from an employer is wrong. I have my own AFLAC policy that I pay for, not through my employer. I bought it in case I got hurt and I couldn't work when I still had my own business (doesn't cover work related injuries, but what if I fell off a ladder painting and couldn't work my paralegal job?) and I just kept the policy when I sold my business. You can call them yourself and see what they have. My policy is $41.60/mo.

Good luck.

I wanted a motorcycle for my 30th birthday but when I turned 28 I had a beautiful baby boy and by the time I turned 30 he was only 2 and my motorcycle dreams had to be retired.

Now I'm well over 30 and so far beyond my motorcycle dreams besides my husband is pretty adamant and anticycle. I'm cool with it but sometimes I still wish I had gotten a cycle over pregnant.

Enough of my story. Your husband is a grown man, your partner, not your child. Since the men in his family cycle, he will probably follow in their footsteps. With that in mind you will probably want to ensure your insurances policies are paid to current. Aflac is a great supplemental policy that can only be acquired through an employer. I'm almost certain it is not the only supplemental insurance company out there but it is well known. They pay you directly above and in addition to any other insurance you have when accidents happen.

If I were in your shoes, I would do a great deal of praying and trusting that God would keep my husband safe and sound and if in the event something tragic occured that we would have enough of the right kinds of insurance to deal with the financial hit that tragedies bring.

Try to not let your fear get the best of you. Many people ride and are fine, more than those that ride that aren't fine.

My husband had a wreck on a motorcycle, breaking his hands & messing up his knee. Did it scare me? Yes. But he got a second one with my blessing. He's a safe driver. Life is too short to make decisions based on fear.

It's not really accurate to say that people don't watch for motorcycles. They are really, really hard to notice! As much as I try to "see motorcycles," I don't always notice that teeny, tiny dot of motion coming towards me. I just don't. This reality makes it that much more important for the person driving the motorcycle to be extra vigilant.

Riding a motorcycle is not 100% safe. Nothing in life is. There are certainly ways to make it safer - helmet, wearing pants and good, sturdy shoes, other appropriate gear. It sounds like this is really something he would love. You had a bad experience, where you felt unsafe, but you don't have to let that fear control you. You had a bad experience with the electronic on a motorcycle frying. But that isn't about motorcycles. That could have been any vehicle. It has nothing to do with safety.

I'm not a fan of letting fear control me. There are way too many fun things in life. If I gave into fear, I'd miss out on so much!

my brother in law had one, he was hit at least 2x that i know of. and he is fine to this day. my dad had one and never had a wreck. i also know a gal whos hubby had one and he has been gone for about 6 years. she found the strength to continue raising her family (one of her kids was either in utero or a newborn i can't remember) she has found a new man and is moving on with her life. does she miss her hubby? yes. has she become stronger from this definitely. has she moved on and found new love? certainly. so even if the worst does happen you will be ok. let your hubby do what he wants (supposing he can afford this bike) and pray and hope that he stays safe and every time he goes out riding make sure you kiss him goodbye for now so you have no regrets

Can you talk him into getting a boat instead?
Where we use to live, traffic was a nightmare.
Hubby had a touring motorcycle, rode it for a few years and then it sat in the garage for 10 years.
It was just too much to ride it on the roads around northern Virginia.
Where we are now is way out in the country.
There are biker clubs that go out for groups rides past farms and cow pastures.
It's much safer than where we were.
But he sold the bike when we moved here and now we have a boat - and we used it a lot the first few years and now it's sitting in the yard for 2 years.

If he wants to ride and you don't want to - you don't have to go with him.
Make sure he takes out some extra life insurance on himself.
He might ride it forever or maybe not.
He might get tired of his new toy and get over it eventually.

I think that you need to learn to drive one yourself. You are afraid of something you only see the bad of. I personally wouldn't want to drive one but I have ridden them a few times, in heels and a skirt one time...lol.

You freaked out the first time you rode and you nearly killed yourself and your hubby. YOU did this, not him. You shouldn't be on the back of a motorcycle until you've learned basics and gotten more used to how they hug the road on curves. It is unsettling and he might have been going a little too fast but your reaction could have easily ended differently because you didn't handle it well. This has shadowed your thoughts and feelings about motorcycles since. It's time to get past that hurdle. Learn to ride a SMALLER motorcycle with him on the back to help you. Go slow enough that you can stop it and short enough that your feet are comfortable and flat on both sides.

Your husband is right. A police officer can come to your door at any time, even if he's in an accident in his SUV as he put it.

People who drive motorcycles do watch more than those around them, they have to. It helps if there are several riders together because that makes them more visible but still, everyone needs to pay more attention.

I do think he is able to purchase a motorcycle if he wants one. I don't think that we should be living in a "he's not allowed to buy anything I say he can't have" or "I don't spend any money until my hubby/wife approves". We do need to be considerate of the budget and have our own spending money that we can save/spend on what we want.

Motorcycles are a hard no for me now that we have kids. My husband used to ride one, but I told him that I would not accept him taking that risk from the time I got pregnant until our kids are out of college. I told him that before I got pregnant and in no uncertain terms. His best friend was in a very serious accident and spent months getting skin grafts, I think that helped him see my point. If you want t to engage in risky behavior when you are only responsible for yourself, that is fine. In my opinion, you owe your kids some reasonable level of caution in protecting your life and health as a parent, and motorcycles don't make the cut. If your husband makes choices like an adolescent boy..."but I WANT it!!!!"...then yes, you are justified in treating him like a child and telling him absolutely not. Just be prepared to put your skydiving hobby on hold as well :)

Where do you live and how much traffic is there?
My DH grew up riding a motorcycle on country roads and loved it. He has often said that if we lived in the country now - or even a town but with open roads without much traffic nearby - he would get one again. However, we don't. We live in a city and drive in stop and go traffic every day. He agrees that it wouldn't be safe here.

So, all this to say - if your husband did get one, where would he ride it? If he's planning to commute in city traffic every day on it, I would be nervous too. If he was planning to ride on open country roads every now and then on the weekend, I'd be ok with it (as long as he's wearing a helmet of course).

While your husband is a grown man and can make decisions as such, he needs to understand he is responsible for what happens to him and the aftermath it will create for his family. It is a bit simplistic to say you should state your peace and then leave him to make his own decision. Once we become spouses and parents, the scope of the consequences grows exponentially because more people are impacted.

I have watched for the last 2 years as my former sister in law has nursed her husband back from the brink of death due to a motorcycle accident. The accident didn't just affect him; it affected every single person in his family. In hindsight his choice to own a motorcycle was incredibly selfish and I am very certain they did not have the caliber of conversation which include topics like what happens if you spend12+ months in a rehab hospital learning to walk or the financial consequences of a major accident or the emotional stress for the kids involved. Her husband will never walk normally again and he'll never hold down a regular job. They are barely in their forties and their kids span from elementary to high school age. The family has a long road to walk over a hobby. I understand car accidents can have catastrophic consequences as well but part of decision making is weighing the risks involved. Motorcycles carry more risk. Every motorcycle rider I know has had at least one accident and the vast majority were not caused by the motorcyclist. Enough of them had one accident and it led to them no longer riding. It opened their eyes to the consequences of a major accident on their loved ones. The risk was no longer worth the pleasure. Good luck whatever is decided.

Hi Viola, My husband has sold Aflac for 16 years and is one of the top 10 agents in AZ. It offered directly and through an employer (at a discount and IF they offer it). If you leave your employer, you can keep the policy and pay for it directly from your bank account, the premium will NOT increase, ever. So like any insurance, it's best to lock in the rates when you are younger and they are lower. Insurance just gets more expensive as you get older.

The way it generally works is you pay a small monthly fee and you get benefits from whatever policy or policies you buy. If you buy the accident policy, it covers things that could happen to you in an accident. My husband’s client recently received over $7,000 from being in a motorcycle accident. The biggest check he gave a client of his was for the Cancer plan and it was over $27,000. Each of these clients got other checks as claims were submitted. Those were just the first ones paid. There are cheaper supplemental plans but they don’t pay as well nor have the customer service and ethics that Aflac does. They are #1 for a reason.

My husband went skating with the kids, fell and hit his head and Aflac paid $385. My daughter accidentally scratched my son’s eye and Aflac paid $125. My SD stubbed her toe at her moms and Aflac paid over $350. These are just a few examples. They pay you cash to spend as you wish. It just goes into your bank account.

You live in AZ and we are notorious for car accidents as well as motorcycles. You can see that every day you are on the road. My husband does have a couple clients in Goodyear, even though we are in the East Valley. I will message you his phone number and if you are interested, he can stop by when he's in the area to chat with both of you to let you know what it involves and how it works.

Hope this info helps you and others who are not as familiar with Aflac. Good luck.

PS Aflac is NOT medical insurance! It is a supplemental insurance that pays you directly to use as you wish. You can pay medical bills with it or you don't have to.

I hated my husbands motorcycle, but I also respected the fact that he is a grown man who can make his own choices. I did make my concerns known, and then I dropped it. Eventually, after being pushed off the road a few times, and after a pretty bad car vs cycle issue here locally, he decided to sell it, but that was his choice and something I did not push. IF I had pushed it or nagged him or told him no he may have resented me, and the fact is I am not his mother.