Should I Go?

Definitely go. Think about how you would feel in her shoes. It's wonderful that she has her 16 year old daughter there, but I'll bet that her daughter is really scared and would also benefit from you being there to support them both.

If it were me, I would go.

Under the circumstances, I might also look for really cheap, unglamorous ways to travel. Can you take a Greyhound Bus or something? (I know they're horrible, but really, planes are cramped and stinky too.) Or can you just drive? Look for a cheap motel on the outskirts of the city, or see if you could stay at the hospital, the way her daughter is doing.

I personally would have an easier time forgiving myself for spending a whole lot of money than for not being there for a friend.

I would go.

My BFF and I are so close we call one another "sister." I'd do whatever I had to do to get to her side.

I would do whatever it takes to get there and be with her and her daughter.

this is a no brainer.
go - go for the 16 year old.
go for your peace of mind.
seriously - her relatives can't go help out the 16 year old??????
that is sooooo much to put on a teenager.
I love the idea of using skype or facetime. But, her poor daughter needs help right now. In addition to supporting your friend.
so, if you can at all swing it, go. contact mayo - they may have some assistance programs, housing, etc. - particularly if you point out that you're helping the 16 year old.

good luck.

Go. She needs you and so does her daughter. Be there for her and her daughter. Let her know what she means to you and what you mean to her. Knowing her condition and not going and her not making it would be worse on you in the long run.

There are worse things to spend money on than seeing a friend for maybe the last time.

Once you get there check with the hospital about local places to stay. Is there a Ronald McDonald house or something in the area that would take you in? Maybe there is a bed and breakfast that gives a discount. It will all work out -- have faith.

You will be in my thoughts as well as she.

the other S.

Can you reach out to friends and family members and ask them to donate their reward miles? A travel agent would be able to handle this type of transaction and it could dramatically reduce the cost of flying.

Be there for your friend, her daughter and for yourself.

If you have noone stopping you, I would get in the car and start driving.

Go, she needs support and so does her daughter

UT to Minnesota isn't all that far. You sure a flight will be as much as $1k? Maybe start looking and you'll be pleasantly surprised that if you're a bit flexible with timing, you can find a flight fo $500 or less. As well, call the hospital. Maybe they have tips on how you can go to the area without renting a car. I'd really look into it all before I decided. Do you have a credit card with some points built up? You likely could get a hotel room with those if you do. I think you can apply them to a rental car too - depending on credit card company...

ETA: Sunshine, Utah to MN is about as far as San Fran to Denver and when I lived there, no one considered that a long trip. So maybe our definitions were different. SF to NYC or Miami was far. I found a flight departing 2/5 and returning 2/11 for $291 on expedia. That may be too far off. A departure this Tuesday the 29th and return 2/2 is $503.

If it were me, I would figure out a way to go. It would mean the world to her, and you would regret it forever if she passes away and you weren't there. And besides, her 16 yr daughter must be really afraid and alone and could use your support.

Utah *is* far from Minnesota, just for clarification. Flights from Utah to MN are running about $900. Hotel prices in Rochester are going to run about $100 per day- B&B's are going to be more expensive. Ronald McDonald House, and the like, are reserved for families of the patients.
If you fly into Rochester International you may not need a rental as they do have shuttle service as well as a bus system.

C., it's evident that you care deeply about your friend. I can't say what I would want to do in your situation, but my advice is to NOT do anything that would be a terrible financial strain. Send her a care package, try to arrange chats on Skype, and send her cards and letters in the mail. She will know that you love and support her even without your physical presence. :) I am so sorry that your friend is sick.

Edit* C. here is a link to the cheapest hotel I could find in Rochester. http://www.hotels.com/hotel/details.html?pa=3&pn=1&am...

I hope this helps!

Pam, I have made the trip from Minnesota to Utah before, and I do consider it a long trip. I also got my flight prices off of expedia at the time I posted my answer. I can't understand how our search results netted such different results, but I hope C. makes the best decision for her situation regardless of *our* difference of opinion.

My mom and sisters are going to Texas over the summer. They are using a certain airline (I can't remember the name right now) that is REALLY cheap. I think she said each round trip ticket was $350... From Minnesota to Texas and back. Not bad!

Send me a PM if you want me to call her and get that airline name from her.

P.S If my best friend were in the hospital, I would be there whether the hospital is 5 miles away or 5000 miles away. I would be there. You should go.

I would go. My BFF has a serious medical issue she has been living with since we were 9 years old. Her health at times is not great and her medical condition will greatly shorten her life. If she were so sick that she was in kidney failure or some other sort of organ failure I would be at her side in seconds. My family and I often live overseas and my husband knows that if she gets sick I will be on the next plane to be with her. We are very close and I could not imagine not being there for her. Sadly this is something I have already thought of.

if possible i'd figure something out and go. can someone that she knows there pick you up and drive you to where you are staying, or could you split a room with them? perhaps another friend or relative she knows you can contact and see if theyare going and split epxenses?

Someone mentioned Travelzoo.com for finding good prices on flights. I use Southwest as much as I can. Try to go. You could also ask the hospital about hotel/car stuff in your situation. Or even contact a hotel in the area or car rental place about it. You never know.

I would do this. one decide whether you truly want to go or not. Now, if you do.. then write a list of how much it will cost you. In turn, write a list out of once you get home, what you can begin to do to pay the debt off asap. Maybe, you pay 100 a month for 12 months.. whatever you think it will take.. this way, you DO have a financial plan of action.
Additionally, albeit it might be a long drive, can you save money by driving?
either way, maybe if you go into this with a plan of action as to how to get there but also how to pay the debt off, then you can more easily make a choice.

Honestly, I have mixed feelings as to whether I would go or not. On the one hand, there was a time when I was VERY close to a friend and would have done anything for her.. but now that I no longer have a super close friend at this time, I feel like I can approach a decision like this more objectively and take into account the financial strain it might cause me.. I will say, if this was my own son for whom I love more than anything, then yes, I'd find a way, come hell or high water. so IF your friend means as much to you as anyone you are particularly close with, then yes I'd find a way and go...

I would call local hotels/motels and ask for a reduced rate and tell them your situation.

I would also check into a bus. They are so much cheaper. And you can sleep and read.

Also, this Tuesday AM, look at airfare. It's cheapest on Tuesdays.

Good luck - and go!

Absolutely go What is her prognosis. The hospital may have something equivalent to The Ronald McDonald house. Call the hospital. Search all the airlines. You really would not need a car rental. A cab to hospital n back to airport. When I had a friend who was critically ill, I slept in the waiting room.
Prayers to yout friend.

Can you ask her daughter if she can bring an ipad and you could skype her. It really is the next best thing to being there.

If there were any way possible and she were my best friend, yes, I would go....even if it meant going into debt. As Suze Orman says, "People first, then money, then things." Both your friend and her daughter must be feeling very scared and alone. If at all possible, go.

Most hospitals have internet so if they have a computer you should set up a skype session with your friend and her daughter. My youngest brother lives in Australia and we skype every other week. You could do it daily since it's free.

Is there any way you can drive there? Gas is bound to be cheaper and you can bring a cooler full of food so you don't have to eat at restaurants for every meal. Where is her daughter staying? If she doesn't live there, there must be somewhere her daughter is staying and perhaps you could help her daughter out...share the cost of a room, cook meals together so it's cheaper and neither of you is alone?

Sounds like she has a pretty crappy family... poor thing. I think I'd do anything in my power to be there for her. So what if you're scraping by for a little bit? Isn't that better than having regrets?

I would go.

Would it be easier and cheaper to drive? Maybe ask your family and friends for donations?