Hi mamas,
I'm asking this in hopes of helping a friend. Her mom was traveling alone back to Detroit last week. She had a stop in Minneapolis, and had a brain aneurysm while at the airport. She is now at a local hospital in MN on a ventilator. They are of course hoping to have it removed soon and after she is strong enough - my friend hopes to fly there any maybe drive her mom home.
This is a very hard situation since her mom is all the way in MN by herself in the hospital - leaving my friend feeling helpless. My friend's brother has already flown and spent a few days there. Both of them work, and my friend has kids. She is not sure if she should fly there now, or wait until her mom is more stable. A big factor is cost of flights - they are really expensive. She has been also trying to determine if there is any way to get her mom moved from MN to Detroit that is not crazy expensive.
There is not much other family to help, and no one that lives anywhere near MN that can help
Anyone been in this situation before, and have any advice on dealing with a loved one hospitalized far away? Or do you know of anyway to get someone moved? We believe she has a mix of Medicare and Blue Cross Insurance
I don't think there are many ambulances that would take someone on a vent. There is no inexpensive way to have her transported. Guess I would have a heart to heart talk with the doc and see what her prognosis is. Based on the conversation, I would decide then decide to go or stay put until she starts to wake up.
seems like the ronald mcdonald house, and the hospital social worker's care coordinators would have some good answers for your friend.
This might seem a little callus, but if resources are limited (be they time/ money/ energy), perhaps she is better saving them for later. While her mother is in the hospital, it is the doctors and nurses who are doing the heavy lifting. Once discharged, it's friends and family who carry the slack.
Best,
F. B.
PS- When she's out of the woods, it might be time for them to think about POA, Advanced Care Directives, Long Term health management, and other such things, if they haven't done so already.
Thanks for trying to help your friend. She should call and talk to the hospital to find out how her mother is doing and what her prognosis is. Is she stabilized? Your friend may just want to go to see her mother if the prognosis is not good. Better to visit when she is alive. She should also find out who the social worker is (or the case manager) who is assigned to your mother. They will probably have experience dealing with transfers and will give your friend info on what is next in terms of rehab, etc. Is your friend or your friends' mother the member of a local church? Perhaps the pastor or priest would contact a congregation by the hospital and arrange for someone to go see her. Good luck!
I'm sorry to hear about your friend's mom's situation. Generally speaking, we have very high quality medical care here and unfortunately, I have a lot of experience in dealing with hospitals, including a level 1 trauma center. I can almost guarantee the hospital has a social worker or some sort of employee who is trained to deal with these issues. That person needs to be contacted and needs to work with the applicable insurance providers. I know it's hard with kids, but I've been through two critical medical situations with my mom prior to her death and if it were me I would find a way to be at her side. Even with the best quality care it can be very important to have an advocate for the patient. My mom was on a vent and even sedated there is some evidence they can hear and know when family is present.
Minneapolis and Detroit are both hubs for Delta airlines. There should be a lot of regularly scheduled flights. I would also contact the airlines to see if there are discounted rates for medical emergencies. I doubt it, but it's worth a try. Anyone able to donate frequent flyer miles?
If you want to PM me and let me know which hospital she's in I can let you know if I have any more specific information for you.
I am surprised there isn't a patient advocate/coordinator at the Minnesoata hospital, working with the family and trying to get this transport ready. There is: http://www.angelmedflight.com. Ask for a quote. It looks like they work with insurance companies. If anything, there is always the news stations. We see so much "yuck" out there, maybe someone knows some one......That would be a loooong drive.
Some airlines offer discounts for family emergencies. Maybe try calling some airlines for her so she doesn't have as much to do and give her the information that you find. A travel agent may also be able to help, and they get paid commission by the airline so there is no cost for them. Also, I would imagine the hospital that her mother is at would know of local resources like Ronald McDonald house or other places that could help her. If there is a 211 help line in her state, they may be able to link her to the 211 line in MN for other local resources. Prayers.
I'm sorry, but if that were my mom, I would drop everything and be there. No question. A brain aneurysm is serious business. She's lucky her mom survived it and her mom likely isn't out of the woods yet. My aunt had one many years ago and almost died. This was before I had kids and I went out to her house to help care for her kids when she was finally home recovering.
This is exactly what the FMLA is there for. Emergency situation She should use it with work.
If flights are too crazy expensive, drive there. I would find a way to make it happen.
If she's going to continue holding off on traveling there, she should at least talk to the patient care coordinator at the hospital to find out the possibilities of having her mom moved (which may not be feasible, given how serious aneurysms are) and what the hospital would advise as far as visiting. It may be that her mom is so out of it right now, it wouldn't make sense to go there yet.
She needs to go now and visit her mom. She can try spirit airlines for a cheap flight.
Tell your friend to check to see if Mega Bus offers a route to MN from Detroit - they are relatively cheap. Or see if she can get someone (a good friend) to make drive with her, which would be cheaper.
Also, have your friend contact the hospital directly and ask for someone she can talk to in the support or counseling office. They may not be the right person, but they will be supportive, and can point her in the right direction. For example, through that part of the hospital staff, she may be able to get on the phone, and have a hospital volunteer put the phone by her mom so she can talk to her (if her mom is non-communitive and she is not sure what to say, have her read from the Bible or read a favorite kids story or book of poems). Ask them if they can do Skype, etc.
Also, if your friend is a member of a church or civic organization that she regularly volunteers for (Rotary Club, etc.) or her mom is, have her contact that organization and explain the issue and ask if they can help. They may not be able to give her air fare, but they may be able to send volunteers from the local chapter to go and visit her mom, which would be helpful for her mom, and might ease your friend's mind a bit.
My niece was moved from a community hospital to San Diego for experts care in her realm of needs. The ambulance picked her up and drove her to the private airport where a prop plane flew her to the hospital. That hospital has a helicopter landing pad, but that is not how they took her.
The insurance paid part of the flight, but I believe it was extremely expensive.
She also came back by ambulance by choice. The drove her by ambulance from San Diego back home. I am not sure if insurance paid that bill or not, since she returned to the same community hospital and it was by choice of just coming home.
She should go there now. Her mom is lucky to be alive. Could she drive to save some money? It could be a long hospital stay. The only option at this point to get her mom home would be an air ambulance. Been there, done that and it is very expensive. It will most likely not be covered by insurance unless it is medically necessary.
If it were me, I would have been on the first plane. Period, no questions. This is what the family & medical leave act is for - she can talk to her employee for the time off. She can talk to the airlines - some of them are very helpful (US Airways was nasty when my dad was dying, AirTran was absolutely fantastic). If she has kids her partner can take care of them. If they are separated/divorced - he can still take care of them.
