Should I Give My 4 Year Old His Blanket Back?

Updated on August 06, 2008
K.A. asks from Rockledge, FL
13 answers

I have a 4 1/2 year son who has always had a blanket. He has been a wonderful sleeper since the beginning. The downside to his blanket was that he also sucked his fingers and the Dr. recommended we have him stop before he causes damage to his teeth. We took the blanket away from him about 3 months ago and he has stopped sucking his fingers, but his sleeping has not been as well. He seems to have more trouble going to bed at night and he seems to wake up during the night. He has told us he misses his blue blanket and by heart breaks when he says that. So, my question is, should I give him back the blanket now that he doesn't suck the fingers? I never had a problem with the comfort he found in the blanket it was just the sucking his fingers part I did not like.

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much for all your wonderful advice. I gave in and gave him his blankie back and just the look on his face was worth a million dollars. He is not sucking his fingers and he is not allowed to leave the house with it. Actually, yesterday he had to go get some blood work done (allergy test) and he wanted to take it with him, I said no and he put it down with no argument. I am glad I gave it back and I feel good about my decision. I was so comforting to hear your responses, thank you again.

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K.G.

answers from Miami on

yes! my daughter...now 15....had her "blankie" until she was 10 or so. She used to keep it under her other blankets, right next to her skin where it was nice and cozy. Eventually she just outgrew it....seeing the other girls at sleepovers didn't have one was a big help. We tried to take the blankie away on several occasions and it was so traumatic. I don't see any harm in allowing a child to sleep with a comfort item. They grow up soon enough!!

It sounds like he has outgrown the finger sucking already. Maybe give him the blanket back and see what happens!

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L.H.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi K., My daughter had the same attachment to a plush baby doll when she was an infant/toddler. She would only suck her thumb when she was holding her baby. At some point I told her it was ok to have have her baby, but she had to stop sucking her thumb. It was difficult for her to break the habit on her own so we made a deal. We put the baby on the shelf in her room where she could see it until she stopped sucking thumb and then she could have it back. Getting the baby back was enough of an incentive for her to try really hard. After a couple of weeks she was able to have her baby back and she did have few slip-ups where I would catch her with her thumb in her mouth (and most of the time she didn't even realize she was doing it). But I only had to remind her and she took her thumb right out. She actually broke the habit very quickly. She didn't want to have to give up her baby again! :-) She is almost ten now and still sleeps with that same baby in her bed. Make a deal with him when you give him the blanket back and let him know that if he goes back to the finger sucking then the blanket will have to be put away again. It sounds like he will be so happy and excited to get it back that he won't want to risk losing it again. My 24 month old has a blankie that he loves (he's not a thumb sucker though) and I see the comfort it brings him so there's no reason to keep your son's blanket from him forever. :-) Hope this helps.

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L.L.

answers from Melbourne on

My 3 1/2 year olds are very attached to their blankets, and I figure out of all the 'habits' they could have, this one isnt a big deal. I vote let him have it back!

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C.J.

answers from Miami on

I went back to see what happened and I am so happy for you both!!!!! I've been worried about your son and am so happy that you had a successful outcome. C

I am 36, still have my blankie. I don't sleep with it anymore, gave that up before I got married, but it still feels and smells like my blankie. No, I don't suck my fingers - but the point is, just negotiate and tell him if he sucks his fingers, blankie will have to leave.

Good luck!

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P.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

Maybe you could give it back conditionally-If you keep your fingers our of your mouth, Mr. Blankie will "come home". We tried this with our daughter. (We had told her he was on a secret mission- of course, the mission was to get a bath and some repairs, as well as to help her stop sucking her fingers.) Maybe this will work for you.

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A.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi K.! I feel like a big meany, but I think that you should not give back the blanket...BECAUSE...if he does go back to the fingers, then you may have to take it away again..and that could be so confusing for him. I agree with one of the moms...take him to the store, and tell him to pick out a new buddy to sleep with....or, I just had another idea..what about using the blanket to make a small bear? or even a little pillow??? I don't know..tough one..but I think that you have come so far..if you give him back his blankie, it could be more trouble later. I guess overall, listen to your heart, and your brain. I know if my daughter was without her kitty, she would be traumatized...so I feel your pain. Sorry this isn't too helpful :)

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S.R.

answers from Orlando on

Hi,

I agree with the other posts, give him back his blanket. We all have certain things that give us comfort. My eldest girl now 10 still must have 3 stuffed animals in her bed. My youngest daughter must have her pillow a certain direction & she twirls the opening in her fingers all night. My youngest son has to be in his own bed, he does not like sleeping anywhere else.

I say all this to show you that each child finds a comfort zone and I see no reason why we would take those away from them. My youngest boy also sucks his thumb. He is 5 now & while we do not allow it while he is awake and playing, once it is bed time & he is in bed, it is up to him. eventually he will out grow it.

Let him enjoy all the comforts of being a happy child without worry. It all works out in the end.

Have a great day & God Bless

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K.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

There's nothing wrong with having a comfort object, but the sucking of the fingers could become an issue, just as your pediatrician said. I think that your son will probably go back to sucking his fingers if you give the blanket back. Maybe you should make a big to do about taking him to the toy store and picking out a brand new stuffed animal that can be his new bedtime buddy. Hopefully he will bond with that particular object and since it's a stuffed animal and not a blanket, I imagine he won't suck his fingers.

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J.

answers from Miami on

If it comforts him and gives him the security that he wants/needs........ give it back. My little girl did the same with sucking her fingers and we got her finger/thumb guards and it helped tremendously and stopped the thumb sucking in 1 month and her teeth and pronunciation improved drastically. But, since he no longer sucks his fingers, let him have it back, he won't be walking down the aisle with it in 20 years I am sure. Plus, really what does it matter if he wants his blankie.

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L.R.

answers from Miami on

K., I am glad you decided to give the blanket back to your son! My husband who is close to 50, still has his blanket (he does not use it anymore and its placed in safe keeping, as well as mine used as a baby is).. but he has a throw he loves and sleeps with every night. Lol, he is a wonderful many, stable, gentle and a giant. When we travel, its gets packed first! Whatever brings us comfort and does not harm others is a beautiful gift! (((Hugs to you))) L.

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

My son is almost 2 and HAS to sleep with his 2 blankets.. I would give him his blanket back if I were you. Hopefully him sucking his fingers will remain in the past. Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Miami on

Try it, what will it hurt. If he goes back to sucking his fingers tell him you'll have to take the blanket back. He may not even start the sucking over because he'll just be so happy to have his blanket back. That may be all he needs. I've learned not to beat myself up and stress over the simple things :-) You're a wonderful Mom!!

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K.M.

answers from Boca Raton on

I fell your heartache..... give him the blanket. He may not even go back to the fingers. the likelyhood of future braces could come from something else with the teeth other than sucking fingers. its no guarantee. Its more important for a good night sleepat this point for everyone involved.
Also, the older he gets the blanket will become less and less but it is comforting for him to know its there if he needs it. (speaking from a mom with a son)
Follow your heart, it knows your children best.....
KM

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