Blankie and Thumb Sucking

I have yet to hear about a grown person with an addition to their thumb or blankie. This being mentioned, I would not worry about it one minute longer, she will outgrow it.

I don't have any advice about the thumbsucking, because I've never had to deal with it, but as for the blankie, I personally don't see anything wrong with her having a blankie. However, if it's important to you that she stop using it, I've heard of other parents putting a pacifier inside of a build-a-bear, that way the child "still has it". You might be able to do something similar, if the bear is big enought! Just a thought! As for waiting too long, I don't think anything is too late, but you'd have to be much firmer, very consistent about however you choose to deal with it. Good luck to you.

i would wash it and put it in a special pretty box for her then put it at the top of her closet of somewhere out of reach or climb the thumb will stop when the blanket is gone if they are dependent on one another

J.

I had 2 children that had blankie and a thumb. Around the 3 age mark, I only let them have their blankie in bed. Don't make a big deal about it but if they want to suck their thumb it has to be in bed. Soon they learn that they want to play more then sit in their bed. I never pushed them to stop sucking their thumb in bed. It's a great security for them and a habit that will stop as they get older. I agree with you that she will need that securty when the baby comes. S.

Don't take the blanket away. I still sleep with a stuffed animal!
The thumb sucking is different and will be hard with a new baby in the house. My sister stopped when she was promised a special gift. Good luck.

I am a 33 year old mother of an 18 month old girl and am 4 months pregnant. You will think I am definitely wacko when I tell you that I still have my blankie and sleep with it every night to this day. I remember when my parents had me keep it in my room, then in my bed, instead of being allowed to bring it wherever I was in the house. It shields my eyes from the light, it is soft, it is a soft little extra "pillow" for my head. I often wake up in the morning to see that my husband has it against his face or over his eyes! I am a successful business woman, am self-confident and am able to self-soothe without my blankie. It's just something I never got rid of. Don't fret. She'll probably not end up like me and still sleep with it after her wedding day. If she does - so what? Sorry I can't advise on the thumb sucking. ~A.

Thumb Sucking- My daughter stopped at three because her finger started to bleed and I told her it would fall off. It was hard for her for about a week. She had such a hard time going to sleep.

Blankie-My daughter is 6 and still has hers when she goes to bed. I don't think anything is wrong with her blankie.

Don't try to take them both away at the same time. It will be too hard for your child. While you have your new baby she might still need her blankie. Or tell her she can choose which one she wants the blankie or thumb and that might help you get rid of one.

My eldest daughter was a binkie girl and had a blankie. We pulled the binkie at 3-1/2 years, but then she immediately plugged in her thumb. I let that go for another 6-12 months or so and one evening I painted her fingernails and told her she couldn't suck her thumb because it would ruin the pretty polish and she just stopped and never looked back. She still has her blanket (she's almost 6) but I never let her or my son (just turned 4) take their blankies out of their rooms. They are for sleeping and it's never been an issue. I'd wait for awhile after the baby comes to do anything, though. She'll want and need that familiar comfort. Just some thoughts/ideas for you.

My daughter is also three and sucks her thumb and also has a blankie that she holds sometimes as she's sucking her thumb. But she will suck her thumb regardless of whether she's holding her blanket or not. I have talked to both her pediatrician and her dentist and they both recommend not doing anything about the thumb sucking until she is at least 5. I don't know if your daughter sucks her thumb only when she has the blanket, but I would probably wait a little while to try to take the blanket away and see if the thumb sucking stops as well. I know my sister took my nephew's blanket away when he was four and he was still sucking his thumb. It didn't matter to him if he had the blanket or not. If it helps her feel secure, I wouldn't worry about it right now ~ especially with the baby coming.

Do not panic - and follow your gut. You think this is a bad time - and I probably agree. My daughters sucked their thumbs until they were 5 yrs old (only at bed time)- and then they were able to quit - no problem. We discussed before hand that we were going to quit - and then we did have to take away (to keep for them) the blankie / baby&bunny doll that they held when they sucked. We returned the "lovies" after about a year. Both girls are 17 & 20 and doing great. If you think your older child needs to keep the comfort of the blankie for now - let her.

Hi A.,

My son was not a sucker, but I was as a child. I sucked my pointer finger until I was 11. But I never had braces and have a nice smile. When I was about 6, we went to my aunt's house and I somehow "left" my "gangket" there. I remember asking for it for months everytime we went back over there and my mom and aunt would come up with excuses like "can't find it," "it's stuck under the bed," etc. I liked the silky edging around the blanket, so I eventually tore the silky edging off of the blanket that stayed on my bed and walked around with that. Finally, when I was 11, I just decided that I was too old to suck my finger and I started sleeping with my hands under my pillow.

I guess my suggestion is that when you feel the time is right, you should try "losing" it and "leaving" it somewhere. If she isn't ready, then your daughter will find something else to soothe her.

My twin girls are almost 3 and they both suck their thumbs.

We are in the same boat however my youngest is 5 mos. old. Yes, be careful with so many new transitions with a new baby as that is a big adjustment as you know. We have been talking about when she turns three that her blankie is only used for naps/bedtime. Her thumb goes hand in hand with her blankie so we will start to reduce the amt. of time she actually has the blankie. One step ahead also makes a thumb guard you could use in the future if she continues to suck. My dentist said as long as they are done by 5 not to worry but started to wean is probably the key. Good luck, that's a tough one b/c I am right there with ya!

My daughter was my only thumb sucker out of my 4 children and I was afraid what it would do to her teeth. She is 11 now. She sucked her thumb till she was ready to go to kindergarten and then we told her if she wanted to go to school she had to quit sucking her thumb and she did. My daughter still sleeps with her blanket, as do many of her friends. I suggest you let her keep up the thumb sucking, it will be comfort when the new baby comes.

I think you should tell your ped to shove it! All well adjusted kids I know have their security, and they eventually outgrow it. She will need her thumb and blankie especially after the baby is born, and you will be thankful that she has it. You will have your hands full with so many other things that if that calms her down and makes her feel secure, it will be one less challenge for you that day. My son did not suck his thumb, but had a pacifier, which honestly got lost when he was close to 3. It was slightly traumatic, believe me, we looked all over it. But he is almost five and still has his blankie. He never takes it from his bed, and never cluthes it when he goes to sleep, but it is tucked under his pillow. I know he finds relief just knowing it is there. Some days are going to be better for your 3 year old. Some days are going to be just plain hard. 3 is a difficult age (much more difficult than two). I have a friend whose child is almost 5 as well. She sucks her thumb when she falls asleep. But it is literally for 5 minutes at night. Once she falls asleep, it falls out of her mouth and that's it. The world is a very scary place for our children, do you remember being 3, 4, or 5? From my personal experience, and I come from a very large family so I've seen it with many children, is to let your 3-yr old have her security, whatever it is as long as its not harming her. She will mature out of it on her own. I've never seen a kid in Jr. High suck their thumb or cling to their blankie.

A., I also have a thumb sucker. He is 5 years old and I'm having quite a time to get him to stop. He tell me that it makes him feel better and that it's very difficult for him to stop. He's been sucking it since he was an infant and figured out how to put it in his mouth. My concern had been his teeth but the dentist says he's teeth are fine, no issues there. I have tried on and off for quite some time but I feel that he's not going to stop until he's ready to stop. Every time I see him sucking on it during the day I ask him to pull it out and he does. I think it's more habit then anything else. He sometimes falls alseep with it but when I check on him before I go to bed, he's no longer sucking on it. I sucked my thumb when I was little as well and there's nothing wrong with my teeth, I never needed braces. I think that you can try to get your daughter to stop sucking right now but when the new baby comes into your home she's going to be going through a lot of changes that it's going to become natural for her to turn to her thumb. According to my son the thumb comforts him. If he's sad, he turns to his thumb. If he's afraid for some reason, he turns to his thumb. If he's mad, he turns to his thumb. It seems to help calm him. I definitely see less thumb sucking. Encourage your daughter to stop sucking, ask her to get it out of her mouth when you see her sucking it. Sometimes it's just habit and they don't even realize they're sucking it. Before you go to bed check on her and if she's sucking, pull it out of her mouth and give her something to hug, maybe a special stuffed animal. Help her along but also be patient with her. Especially with the new baby coming. Be assured that she won't be going off to college sucking her thumb! Hope this helps.

Dear A.,
I have the sam problem. Unfortunately the blanquet and thumb is a security thing. It has been very hard for my 5 year old to stop sucking her thumb. And when the new baby comes it becomes even harder. You need to tell her that when the new baby comes she is going to need a big sister and that you may have to mail her blanquet to baby land in a far away place where only babys live the new baby who is on the way will have a somethign for her big sisters in replacement. Give her a sence of reponsability. And make sure to get a gift for her from her baby sister. It is very hard my daughter is attached to soft tags and thats what makes her suck her thumb. I yet have found a way to make her stop.Good luck to you with the new baby and with your little girl

Does she only use the blankie for sleeping? If so, I say keep it, especially since the baby is coming soon. You don't want her to think that she had to give up the blankie because of the baby. And as for thumb sucking, discourage it in public but as long as it doesn't interfere with speech or eating, let her do it. I can remember the day when I realized that sucking my finger was something I was ashamed of and I stopped on my own. It's really not a big deal. Do what you will, but in my opinion 3 years old is not a magic age to start getting rid of comfort objects. Good luck!

My daughter was a devoted thumbsucker and was thoroughly attached to her "gah" which is what she called the soft gray pyjama top I wore when I adopted her at 13 months of age. She slept with that "gah" until she was about five and while I tried to discourage the thumbsucking well before that, I'm afraid it went on. the comfort that these rituals gave her at bedtime were very helpful in making her feel secure and safe. We talked over a period of time about a date for putting the "gah" away, and chose christmas, but on a Thanksgiving trip I left the "gah" behind on purpose and she found that it wasn't really needed on the trip. When we got home, I quietly disappeared the "gah" and when she asked for it, I pointed out how she didn't really need it, so let's just try to leave it alone for a night and that we could get it out if she needed it. She agreed and one day slipped into the next and the "gah" was no longer even thought of. And here's the cool thing- the thumbsucking had been so linked to the holding of this really tattered piece of cotton, that when it was gone, she stopped sucking her thumb too without even thinking about it! I think the birth of your daughter's new brother or sister might give you the ideal opportunity for putting away that blankie- "You are the big sister now, maybe you could let your baby brother have the blankie for a while, and if you really need it, it will always be there for you." You may then find that the thumbsucking disappears too.

Hi A.!
I can't give you advice on thumb sucking since neither of my sons were thumb suckers (they are now 9 and 11). What I can offer you is that both of the boys had a "blankie". They took them every where with them. To this day I haven't taken them away from them and they know that the blankies are folded up and in each of their closets. There are still times when they will go get them and sleep with them (a few times a year). For me that is a signal that they are struggling with an issue in which they need comfort. There isn't any reason for you to take something from her that offers such security!
Hope this helps :)
L.

Hi -
I didn't have this problem myself, but I had a friend who did something with their child that I thought was an interesting idea that might also work for you... she actually cut the favorite blanket up into little square pieces! But then she let her daughter keep a piece with her all the time. It was inconspicuous because of it's size so it could be in a pocket or backpack or purse (wherever), but could still be available whenever really needed. It was the actual blanket, so there was no way for her daughter to have the whole big thing anymore, but when she needed it, she could have one of the pieces which of course had the same smell/feel (which I think is what the kids are attached to?). Plus, if one piece got lost, there was a bunch more to pick from, so there was no need to panic about losing it. Of course, this probably wouldn't be a great idea if the blanket was special for some other reason - handmade by grandma, etc. Anyway, just a thought...
Good Luck!

My daughter is 3 and we got rid of the pacifier about a month ago and it's been _really_ hard for her. The first week or so was ok, she felt like a big girl and all that, but since then she's really struggling and is _very_ clingy with me. She's lost her source of comfort!! So based on that, I would recommend waiting until after the baby, like many months after the baby. She's going to need comfort when the baby comes and things will really change. Once she's used to it, then you can start thinking about making changes. Doctors make suggestions, but there is no science behind one age or another and as you've seen from other posters, well-adjusted people keep their blankies/thumbsucking beyond age 3.

Good luck!
R.

I can understand the thumb sucking because it can affect her teeth, but why can't she have a blankie? It is a comfort thing, and she is still little. I just don't get these docs sometimes. I wouldn't worry about the blankie, and I didn't have thumb suckers. I had binkie suckers. I just got my 3 and a half year old off of his a few months ago. I did it gradually by taking it away during waking hours and only letting him have it at nap and bed time. Then, we took it away at nap. And then, bed....sorry that I can't be of more help.

Hi A.,

First I would not take away your daughters blanket, my 8 year old son still has the one from his early days. It stays on his bed, he doesn't use it often only when he really needs it. He rubs it between his fingers or just holds it. There is no reason kids can't have some sort of comfort object, heck we adults have our coffee or whatever. The thumb sucking may prove to be difficult depending on how often she does it now. My kids had pacifiers but I have friends who had thumb suckers. You may have to try several techniques before you find one that works. You can try the nailpolish on her thumb that has a bad taste to it. You can try having her wear bandaids on her thumbs. I would try to eliminate it slowly, like maybe no daytime sucking and allow it at nap time or bed time. That is what I did with the pacifier. I would also start soon before the baby is born or it may just get worse. My oldest reverted to some baby like behavior when our second child was born. Make your three year old feel like a big girl, praise her when she doesn't do it, and don't make a huge deal when she is, just calmly remind her not to do it. Maybe take her to one of those big sister classes at the hospital prior to the baby being born. Talk to her about her new role as a big sister and maybe that will help. Good luck!
C.

My first two girls were thumb-suckers (as I was as a child) and I say let her keep her blankie and don't sweat the thumb-sucking. When she no longer needs that comfort it will extinguish itself gradually (or all at once!). With the new baby usurping her place in the family, this would not be a good time to force something.

I'm with everyone on waiting. Just wanted to share a great idea I heard from my 4-year-old's dentist. She said that the thumb-sucking is definitely linked to her bunny and that (by age 5) the key will be distancing her from it. I have done experiments with washing him, making him "unavailable" and it really works. She doesn't suck her thumb when he's gone.

Her idea is that my daughter can make a special bed for her bunny (a shoe box with a flower pillow case, stuffed animals, feathers, cotton balls, whatever!) that will be his to sleep in at night keeping him out of her mitts. So we will definitely being doing the special bed to get us past the habit when it comes time!

Good luck with everything.

Hi A.,
My middle daughter did the same thing, and her dentist said not to worry until she was more like 5 years old (when they may start losing teeth and permanent ones come in). She stopped sucking her thumb on her own when she was 4, so we didn't have to get her to stop. She still sleeps w/ that blanket, but doesn't suck her thumb anymore. My suggestion, especially w/ a new baby on the way, is to not pressure her at all and relax about it. Kids need security items and you still have plenty of time to address it after she's adjusted to a new baby in the house. I wouldn't worry. You could also consult your dentist to get his/her opinion if you need reassurance. Good luck!

A., I am so excited to see that everyone agrees, now is not the time. It has been my experience, having had three little ones, that all of these comfort techniques come to an end by the time the kids leave for kindergarten. My oldest took the longest, but that could've been both of our faults. I think if something comforts your child, let them have it. They will grow out of it, eventually, with or without any pressure from you. Then you will look back fondly on the days when you could not leave the house without "wooby" and the whole family was crazily looking for it.

I agree with you that this is not the time to deal with the issue. If you do then you will have to deal with it twice because she will probably revert with the baby.

I wouldn't worry about the blankie - lots of kids have them until they are much older and it does no harm. My son who is 4 had his pacifier until recenlty. I then bribed him with a toy he really wanted if he went a week without it. We had no problem and he hasn't asked for one since. He also had ducks he would sleep with and now doesn't ask for it. He just outgrew them.

My daughter who is almost 3 has her pacifier and I think if I got rid of it at 1 I would have had no problem. Like you, I'm having a baby soon, so I've decided to wait with her. But with the new one - at one we are going to go cold turkey

Good Morning I also had a thumb sucker and blankie girl- Our pediatrician told us that in the long run orthodonic bills will be less expensive then psych bills and not to traumatize her by taking it away, she will only find something else to make a habit. She quit on her own eventually , and yes she had braces and turned out to be a very beautiful young lady. She is currently Illinois Miss Capital City 2007.

My son is 4.5 and still has his "cokeeye"(aka, blankie, strange name, I know). I have no intention on taking it away from him. For the most part it stays at home, once in a blue moon he wants to take it with when we are running errands, but he is not allowed to bring it in with him. I really dont see a problem with a blankie.
Thumb sucking is another story, it can cause tooth issues. Not sure what you can do about that, but wanted to wish you good luck and let her have her blankie.

I think you are right about forcing any major changes so close to the new baby. My second child sucked her fingers and we had been talking to her about trying to cut down. Baby #3 came and starting sucking his fingers too! The 4 year old saw this, and realized that she was doing something "babyish". She quit on her own before the year was done (before 5 yrs). We encouraged and reminded her, but the decision was all hers.

That baby #3 is now 5 1/2 and still loves those fingers. He does it when he's tired or bored. I will push the issue a little harder when summer comes, as he will most likely go all day without the fingers, no more dull days stuck indoors. It will end up just at bedtime, then not at all. I'm not worried.