Should I Get Pregnant?

YES! I am a young mother of two. I was 19 when I had my first child and got pregnant with my second child 5 months later. They are both so close and best friends. I can't imagine if I would have waited any longer. If you are financially set, have a good relationship with the father, and BOTH OF YOU are set on the idea of having more children, why wait?! It's best for them if you have them close together and SO much fun!

thats why you wanted me to get pregnant so bad! Do what you think is right, but know that it will be tough.

Hello C.!
I am 21 and I also have a 6 month old. I want to have at least 2 more babies. I have decided that I want to try for another baby when my son is 15 months old. That way I won't have 2 babys in diapers or tons of bottle washing!!!! :)
Ash

Congratulations, My suggestion to you is to wait a little while. If you are exhausted now - having a toddler and an infant is going to be very taxing. There seems to be alot going on in your life right now. With the baby and a new house in a couple of months. My advice to you would be to just pace yourself. You have plenty of time to achieve your dream of a big family. At 20 you are just starting your adult life and more than likely you are going to go through alot of changes. In due time all that you wish for will come but do it decent and in order.

Give your baby a little more time to grow up first. I thought 6 months was a good time to start too but thank goodness I didn't conceive until my son was one year old. Baby's are a lot of work and it would be nice if your first child could walk and maybe potty train before you had your second.

I'm currently 5 months pregnant with a new baby and have an 18 month old. It's tiring hard work everyday. At least he's feeding himself and walking well and able to help pick things up for me. By the time the new one comes I hope he'll be potty trained. Also, he'll start school in the fall with a Mom's day out program.

You've got plenty of time. You could wait 3 years before your next baby and still fit in a large family before you're 35. I had infertility and couldn't get pregnant until I was 30 and baby number two needed to happen before my endometriosis came back. That's why we we're in a hurry.

i have 2 babies, 18 months apart. it's hard. even with my husband helping out. the boys are 2 and 8 months, and some days are good, and some days are bad. the toughest time will be the first few weeks, but it gets better. you'll be buying a lot of diapers, believe me. i was so tired during my second pregnancy, because i was chasing my toddler around. you'll be doing the same. i dont want to talk you out of the idea, but i would really think about it first.

Well I am 28 and have a 8y/o a 19 m/o a 6m/o and am pregnant with a new baby due in October. So I say if it is what you want go for it. Just make sure your husband is on board as well. Good luck mamma!!

I have two children, 18 months apart exactly. It was a huge change going from one child to two, especially having two babies in diapers. My youngest son is now 18 months old and I still don't know if I am ready for number three. Since you are so young, I personally would give it a while, you have plenty of time. Go with your heart because, this is from my experience and I have two very roudy boys!! But I love them just the same!!!

Only you and your husband can determin when you are ready for your second child. I have (will have) 3 myself and they are close together. I have a 3 year old, a 15 month old and am due in september. I am also the oldest of 5 and my parents spaced us out so that my mom got PG when we were one. It seams to be great spacing. WE are all very close and can count on eachother for anything. It is all up to you when your body is ready and how you think you can handle it. It is a challange at times but when you look at you beautiful child(ren) you can't imagian your life without them. Good luck!

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We have a lot in common. I was 19 when my first was born and 21 when my second was. I am 23 now. To be 20 and want another child so badly, you must really love kids! It isnt a question of wether or not you SHOULD get pregnant, it is a question of do you and your husband WANT to get pregnant. If you both agree on wanting another baby, then go for it! You cant live your life for what other people want or think. You have to do what makes YOU and your family happy.
I know how you feel about people looking down at you for your age. I have went and continue to go through the same prejudice. You know what, WHO CARES. I think that at 23 I am still young and have the energy I need to chase after two hyper-active children, and Im not ashamed to act like a child myself sometimes. I think our young age helps us, because we are still in touch with that "inner-child".
As long as there are no medical issues, if you think you are ready...then why wait!

If that's what you and your husband want...GO FOR IT!!

of course if you can support your children and you and your husband both agree that you want more children then go for it. I don;t want to discourage you, but my husband and I started tring for another baby when our child was 6Mo. and she is now 4 and still no luck so I say more power to you !! children truly are miricales

I remember feeling just that way right after I had my daughter. I missed being pregnant SOOO badly! I knew I wanted at least one more, and I couldn't wait to try again. The thought of having two really close together appealed to me because I'm an only child, and I wanted my kids to be as close as possible...but being close in age doesn't always guarantee that. But I knew I was finally ready to get pregnant again when I didn't just want to be pregnant, I wanted another baby. My daughter was 21 months old when I got pregnant with my son, and they are exactly 2.5 years apart. For us that has been a perfect distance in ages. My daughter was potty trained by then, and sleeping in a twin bed, so there was no concern of buying a toddler bed (which would be very temporary) or another crib, which having two very close together makes necessary. Feeding her was easy because she ate regular food like we do.
This isn't a subject I would normally give advice about, but since you've asked, I'd say wait. Let your baby be a baby. They change and grow and learn so much so quickly (and you will too)! I'd say wait until she is at least a year old before you try again, because by then she'll be interested in feeding herself, she'll be walking (so you won't have to worry about carrying her everywhere while you're big and pregnant), she'll hopefully be sleeping at night regularly and have a pretty reliable schedule during the day, so you can look forward to those much needed pregnancy naps! Plus you should wait a year to let your body get back to normal after giving birth. In my opinion, waiting until your daughter is one would be a wise decision. And waiting won't be that hard...she'll be one before you know it!

my 2 are 14 mos apart & though there were times I was ready to pull my hair out from changing so many diapers back to back then overall I'm really glad I had my kids 'all at once' so that as each phase is done (bottles, diapers, potty training...) then its done. I'd say wait a year at least for health reasons but then if yall want more go for it so long as its what yall both want.I'm also raising my sisters 4 kids so in all the ages are 8, 7, 5, 5, 4, & 4 so I know I'm done but by this age then its not that hard really physically. just an assembly line at supper... lol

Take it slow and enjoy your baby girl as she grows and matures with you as a new mother. You could really miss out on a lot by rushing it. The time to bond and learn a little from the mistakes we all make.

I think that this is totally your choice. Who cares what others say, being a young mother doesn't make you a bad mother. Many women wait untill later in life for various reasons, and that is Ok for them. But waiting too long, can pose it's own set of problems. A lot of times your fertility decreases. I have severe endometriosis, and it took me 6 years to get pregnant again, and I am so grateful. I am also a young mother, and I too had to deal with other people's comments- especially when trying to concieve again. Don't worry about it, it's your body and your life and your the only one that knows whats best.

Being a young mother will get strange looks. I was 18 when I got pregnant with my first one. Now I'm 38 but most people guess me to be between 18 and 26...hmmm...wonder if I can bottle and sell that...lol. I have 8 kids of my own. My closest ones are 18 months apart. The bad thing about that is that I had to buy pampers then pull-ups for 2 instead of one. The good thing is that they potty trained at the same time and it seemed like it took less time to get them potty trained. My son, the oldest of the 2, is a bit of a slow learner and my daughter, the youngest of the two learns very quickly and was able to help him learn closer to her pace. Another good thing is that relationship wise, they are pretty close and do almost everything together. All of my kids are close to beging with, but they have a closer bond of all of them. The bad thing about a huge family is that money is tighter and you have a little more trouble finding a vehicle big enough for everybody. But I honestly have to say, I don't regret a single one of my kids and we always have a really good time together. I am truely thankful for each and every one of them. As far as weather or not you should have another one right now...talk to your husband and see what he thinks. You own your own home, you say that you're financially stable, so right now it's more about weather the two of you think that your family is ready for another one right now or if you should wait.

Hi, My name is Teri. I had my first child when I was 19, I've been with my husband for 10 years. So I too was looked at like a young mother. We got custody of my husbands son who was 2 years older than my son when my son was one and then 4 years ago I had my third. So At the age of 24 I had three kids. When your that young with so many kids people do look at you diff. I lucked out because I had a group of friends who were all young moms. I am now 27 with a almost 4 yeard old , 8, and 10 years old. I love being a young mom. I can play and act young with them because I still remember what being young was like. I would say if you really want another baby and your husband is all for it then you two should do what you both want to. You only have one life, you might as well live it they way you want. And it sounds like you guys are secure enough to have another one. Just alittle advice, Teri

I don't really think there is a right answer to this. Personally, I enjoyed the 3 years between me and my brother, but I know people who liked only being 1 or 2 years appart. In reality, you could have your kids 10.5 months apart because it's only recomended that you wait 6 weeks after a vaginal birth to have sex again, but that assumes that you have gotten your period already. My son is 5 months and I still don't have mine so it's not even an option for me! I suggest talking to your doctor about what s/he thinks is best. Also, I'd look in to books and see what you can find on the subject - there must be studies done on having kids close together!
Good Luck!

YOu shouldn't worry about what other people think. THey aren't in your family and it is none of their business if you have 50 kids.
Secondly I would personally wait a little bit longer.I would wait until my first one was a year old;before i had another.It will be very expensive buying diapers for two.But if you and your husband want another baby now;I would sit down and talk about it.See if this is what you want right now.If you decide you do;then by all means try.
*hugs*

Personaly, I think you should wait. Most doctors will agree that it takes a good year after pregnancy/childbirth for mom's body to get back to normal and fully recover and therefore say to wait a year before getting pregnant. You are young... nothing wrong with that... but you do have plenty of time to have a large family. You haven't hit the toddler stage yet... a 6 month old is very easy to take care of. But I would be downright exhausted if I had to take care of a newborn and a young toddler a the same time. My kids are 3 years and 2 years apart and even that 2 years seems too close at time. Taking care of a 2 year old with a newborn is exhausting!

All that said, I have friends with kids close in age and they all agree it's great -- once the kids are older. But they all sort of regret not letting the older be the 'baby' for a bit longer. And all agree it's ALOT of work the first few years.

for starters, this is something you and your husband have to decide. having said that, here's my opinion: you're only 20! there's plenty of time to have 5 or even 10 kids, without rushing right now! age and all that aside, take this precious time to enjoy your one daughter and enjoy that you have this special time for just the three of you. i have a 13 month old, and i, too, want a huge family. but lately, i've started to think i would be ok with just her, too, because we have so much fun together, and we are able to just get up and go, and we are really hitting our stride as parents. i know we'll have more someday, and for now, that's enough. another point is, it's hard on your body to have babies that close together. your body needs a year or so of rest to be ready to take on another pregnancy. also, i'm no expert in the field, but i think i've heard of higher instances of post partum depression when you have babies that close together (due to being exhausted, overwhelmed, and just having your hormones out of whack). in the end, it's a personal decision for you and your husband, and i'm sure you will come to the right decision for your family. good luck!

WAIT!!! I want a large family also so I know what you mean. You are so young though, you've got 10 good years to have babies. Your baby is only 6 months old and as only begun to start to do things that will make your head spin, believe me!! Enjoy this time watching and learning. If you have another baby right now it will cause you to miss out on so much that the other baby is doing. Just wait!

I completely understand how you feel. My daughter is only two months though. I loved having her so much. I am just so excited about having another. I am going to give it two years though. Since I am a single mom, I need to wait until I am financially stable. I would wait for atleast a year to have another. They say if you have one too soon it could cause some serious problems. If your obgyn said it is ok though then go at it. I really wish you the best of luck.

You do whatever you (and your hubby) feels is right and then you know that you didn't do anything wrong. My children are 2 1/2 years apart which was a bit closer than hubby and I wanted, but I wouldn't change it for the world now. That being said, I would at least wait until your child is walking, talking, and able to amuse herself for small periods of time before I considered getting pregnant again. It also depends on how your first child was delivered. If she was a c-section, I belive it can take up to a year for your body to completely heal from the birth. My best friend (mother of 4) had her middle 2 children 14 months apart and the oldest of the 2 ended up having speech delays and a few other emotional problems because she wasn't able to focus the needed attention on him because she got pregnant when he was only 5 months old (it was a difficult pregnancy for her as well) and she wasn't able to spend the much needed bonding time, or even play time with him because she had the new baby to care for. It still bothers her because she feels like the "slighted" the older child to care for the younger.

I was 20 when I had my first baby and it was wonderful. I wanted my children to be about 2 years apart, but my husband going to Iraq pervented that. Then when he got back it took 6 months of trying to be blessed with your 2nd child. There were pros and cons to my first 2 being 3.5 years apart. They play together but they aren't really into the same things. My 5 year old is in school and is just too busy for "baby stuff" she calls it. When my 2nd daughter was 8 months old , we decided since it took us a while to have her we were going to try a little sooner so we could put them 2 years apart. Well we got pregnant so fast, the they are exactly 1.2 years apart. There are pros and cons to this too. The play wonderful together. It IS hard having 2 in diapers. The 2 year old tries to steal bottles that aren't being used. Stuff like that, but she loves her little sister to death. She plays with her, tries to take care of her. Helps feed her. Everything, she wants to be the little mommy. She tried to put diapers on her baby dolls so she can treat her baby's like "mommy treats the baby." I hope everything works out. It is your choice. I am the youngest of 6 and my husband is the oldest of 3....if you want to chat more feel free to email me anytime. I can be reached here or ____@____.com

My husband is the oldedt of 5 and his parents were married young. I fyou husband is in agreement go a head and plan for more. I would suggest 4 years apart that way you have an easier time prepairing your first born for the new arrival. If you have them too close you may not be able to keep up with both (you mentioned your days were exhausting, another baby would add to that) or feel like you aren't giving each the full attention they need. I've seen families with children born very close and the mother always seems very ragged. That's just my opinion.

Also I'm the eldest middle of three, my older half-sister is 9 years older then I and my younger brother is 4 years younger. I remember his birth and it was and easy change for me when he was born. I wish you luck. My final advice is do what you feel is right for you and your husband.

C., you should definitely talk this over with your husband... but since you sound like you're doing most of the work yourself anyways because of his job, it will mostly affect YOU if you get pregnant again. Especially if you want 5 kids, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having them close together! My husband and his sister are 13 months apart (a family of 6 kids), and they are sooo close, it's a really great relationship. My SILs both had their babies very close together, got pregnant with their second children when the first ones were only about 4 months...and it's worked out great. Being "only" 20 shouldn't be a factor, if people look down on you because they're young, then phooey on them. It's your life...and IMO, 20 is not too young anyways if you're financially stable. So if you think you're ready, then go for it!! :)

Best of luck in whatever you decide,
Chrissy (17 weeks preggo myself, heehee)

Hi! I am not as young as you, but my sister-in-law was when she had her first child. She was 20 (now 25) and right after she had Alyssa, she wanted another baby immediately. Although she was a great Mom and they were financially secure my brother was not too keen on the idea because he did work a lot and most of the responsibilities fell to her. Fast forward six months later she finally convinced him. So, she had her second baby (a boy) when Alyssa was 15 months. I won't say that she's sorry that she did it so quickly, she loves her son more than anything, but she has made comment that if she knew then what she knows now, she would have waited a little longer between the two. Mostly because of the issues it caused Alyssa. At 15 months, she couldn't understand that Mommy was busy with the baby. Alyssa also wanted to start breastfeeding again like the baby. She learned how to throw tantrums very early all because she wasn't getting the attention she needed. Now my sister-in-law wasn't neglecting her by any means. She had special time with Alyssa every day, but it wasn't enough. So although you may want another child NOW, I strongly urge you to consider your daughter's needs first. If you determine that she could handle it, then go for it!!! For myself, I'm at the other end of the spectrum; I have a nine year old and a 21 month old. Didn't plan it, my body would not cooperate for many years!

I think if you and DH are in agreement that you want another baby right now, go for it. Does DH want 5 kids also?
There are pros and cons about having babies close together. In the first year, it is VERY hard, but then after that, it's great! They have built in playmates. You still have PLENTY of time to have babies. Waiting a few months might work better. I have 5 kids. My first two were twins and I had my third 21 months later. I had 3 kids under 2!!! I then waited 3 1/2 years until I had my fourth, 2 years later I had my 5th. I totally understand wanting to hurry up and get your big family, but take your time. I would get obsessed about having another baby, I don't recommend it! If you can, slow down, and enjoy your family every step of the way. Good luck with your decision and let us know how it's going!

J.

I think you should definitely wait till your baby is at least one. I am pregnant with my second child and my son is 3 1/2. I could not imagine being pregnant with a little one! If you were to get pregnant now you would have a lot less energy to play with your daughter. Since she hasn't even started walking yet, you should just spend this time focusing on her! Plus I think giving your body a rest in between pregnancies helps a lot in returning back to your normal self! You have plenty time to create that big family you want!

Hi C.!

Don't worryabout everyone else....I have learned that I must do what is best for my family and myself. At 20, you still have many years to accomplish anything you want. Do you and your husband want to travel, get more education, or have more time with your daughter alone? That being said, I would encourage you to think about your family. A lot of kids can be a struggle financially, emotionally and time wise. If that is truely what you AND YOUR HUSBAND want, then more power to you. I come from a relatively small family, I always wished I had more siblings as I got older. And now with my own daughter, I wish she had more cousins her age etc...

Like I said earlier, don't do anything to please others. Search your heart and your husbands' too, if the time is right and the circumstances are right, follow your heart.

A.

hunny you do what YOU TWO feel is right. if thats more kids than go for it. i had my first at 19 shes now three and my youngest is 1 week today. its hard but i would not change it for any thing. talk to your husband see where he stands. good luck!

Dear C.
I am a 24 yr old married woman trying to start a home child care business so i can work from home, but also so i can take care of children. My husband and I have always wanted a big family, and i would love to have 5 kids! Unfortunately, we are not only not financially able to do that, but I can't have children. I would have to pay thousands of dollars for in vitro fertilization, and we can't afford it. Not to mention there is no gaurantee that it will work. I cry atleast once a week watching young mothers and fathers and their children. I yearn to be one so badly. My point is, if you are in a position where it is a good idea to have children, and you want to and can, I can't imagine letting the opinions of other people stand in your way. You obligation is to your family and your self, and (if you are religious) your God. If I were you, I'd be trying already for number 2!!! Hope this eases your mind!
A.

C. D,

You do what you feel is right in your heartand if you want more go for it! I have been married for almost 3 years in August and we have 3 beautiful girls of our own the ages are 6,2, and 1. They are such a blessing from god and we cherish everyday that comes with our girls. We also are a young couple ourselves I am 25 and my husband 29 and he works 10 hour days 6 days out of the week too! I know it can be stressful too b/c I myself get stressful with 3 girls. I think if you are ready for another try it you also said yuor finacialy stable too so I do not see any reason not too! Well I hope this was some what of help too you and goodluck to you and your family as well! :) T.

I have four children. The last two are 18 months apart. It was very difficult for me to keep up with a toddler and have a newborn. From experience I would say wait for alittle while. Your body needs time to heal from having your baby and you mentally need the time to heal. you are very young and have plenty of time to have your babies. enjoy your youth. before you know it you will be almost forty and wonderng what if all the time.

C.,

While I was feeding my baby tonight, it came to my mind something you may want to know. I am a 43 yr-old mom; happily married, and I have two wonderful and sweet kids, one is 6 years old and my baby is 12 mo old (his birthday was yesterday!). Unfortunately, I got married late in life, because I met the love of my life late in life...since then ..10 yrs already!
If I would have married earlier in life, I would have 4 or 5 children. I think that our children need a lot of time and energy and knowledge and companionship (besides love of course) and, us,moms.....minute by minute.
I love sports, and I like to be in shape and healthy for myself, for my my kids and for my husband specially at my age where all different changes occur and affect my life, so..my opinion is that ..go and have your children and raise them with lots of love and dedication and patience and positive discipline, but before take the time for yourself and for your little baby girl to adjust together in different ways; enjoy her a little bit more together with your husband, and listen to those moms who tell you that it is exhausting and you will be tired or it is going to be a little bit hard with two or three little ones who depend 100% on you. Just wait a little bit so your children are a little bit apart in ages, so you can raise them in a good and healthy way.

I wish you the best and congratulations for being already a mom so sweet!

Alejandra

Good Luck. I don't think it is too much. Everyone is different. Just one thing at a time. Congrats on your first!!

i think it all depends on how close you want the kids... also how hard to get pregnant before? do you have time/ patience for another right now? i have 3 kids, ages 4 and under and am 27, it is SOOO hard sometimes. follow your heart and gut. dont forget to ask your husband too. hugs

I am 22 and i have 3 kids (4, 18 months, 8 months). The first two were 3 years apart...that is a great space. The last two are only 11 months apart and i do not suggest doing that. It gets really hard sometimes and i feel like i made my middle one have to grow up faster than if she was still the baby. I suggest not trying until at least 18months. Enjoy your first as a baby...toddler...then try. Good luck on whatever you choose. I think being a young mother is a great choice.

Enjoy your daughter. If you get pg you may get sick and miss out on the new things she does. I'd wait until she was at least 18mths before trying. good luck! you are young and have a long time to achieve your dream! I was barely 20 when I had my first and I now have 4 living children (had 2 more babies but died shortly after, twins).

Hey C.,
I think what your saying is great!! I was 20 when I had my son too... I wish I could have more but I can't due to complications., however if I were you i'd wait untill your first is at least 1 year old, enjoy this time get used to everthing and then have another...good luck and god belss!

Hey C.!
I know that having a 6 month old baby is wonderful and the thought of even having another one is even better. I beleive in your dreams but my suggestion would say: wait!!! My reason is this. I know life is Grand and you are a young and happy wife but I would give more one on one time. If another baby was to come along that is more work. I would wait about another year. I wish you luck! Gods Blessing!
R. C.