She Yells at Everyone!!!

A good start would be to let the dogs or other kids play with her in a "controlled environment". With the dogs have her play with them and get used to them. Once she understands that they only want her food and not her toys she will be more understanding. My 2 year old did this for a while with one of our dogs who follows her everywhere in the off chance that she may drop a snack. If it hits the floor the dogs can have it, but if they take it out of her hand they get in trouble. We did this as well with her and my neice (4 yrs old). My neice would always take toys away from my daughter because she was bigger and she could. This made my 2 yr old very afraid to play with anyone, even her 5 year old brother. We had some neighbod kids over that were older and that understood the situation (6 and 7 year olds). After playing with them for a week or so she started to trust again and understand that she had to share her toys when other kids were around, but that when they left she got them al to herself. We still fight a bit with her and my neice but they are getting better about it. The best advice to give is to let her know that you are behind her 100% and that if the dog gets her snack you have more and that if someone takes her toy she will get it back later and that there are better things to play with. If not she may resort to violence like hitting or biting. My cousins little girl did that, she actually bit my daughter on the nose when ours picked up one of her toys. needless to say, our daughter became terified of her and biting in general and now that the biting has stopped (a year later) will she play with her 2nd cousin. It is tough but it can be overcome with lots of positive reinforcement.

I'm going to keep an eye on the notes you get because my four year old does the same thing. She feels like she's going to be cheated out of something all the time. (Then again, she's also adopted and was through the foster system so there are some issues there). Your daughter could be doing this because of her past experience. Even if she was really little, you'd be surprised what they keep with them from their baby-hood. I'm sorry I don't have any advice..but I am going through it too. And my friend's daughter has gone through it too (still is and she's 11).

It really just sounds like toddler behavior nothing abnormal at all. It may be a habit she's created because of past issues of things being taken from her like you mentioned. So now it's really just a matter of showing her the difference between yelling and asking politely (she may not realize that she's doing anything different). Then it will be up to you and the sitter to remind her when it happens to use a quieter voice or nice words. When my boys do something impolite like yelling at a friend, for instance, we say, "No you may not yell at your friends. I think you were trying to say..." Then you have to make them actually say the phrase as well. I will say that this is tougher with my oldest than it is with the youngest because of personality differences. Now since she is worried about things being taken from her, which is causing the yelling, then the sitter may need to be more vigilant and reprimand those that have taken from your daughter as well. The instances that you mentioned could be pretty traumatic for a little person and depending on her personality it could really stick with her.

Well, it sounds like the people and animals around her DO take her stuff, and hers seems like a pretty normal reaction for a three year old. Maybe find her a situation (stay home with her?) where she won't constantly be antagonized. You can't really expect her not to generalize when a great big part of her world DOES take stuff from her. She doesn't know how many other billions of life forms exist every day and don't take her stuff; she only knows her own experience. Otherwise, all you can do is explain, explain, explain.

E.,

Our daughter is three as well. I don't have the yelling problem, but she does worry about what our dogs are doing. We have two labs, who have on occation knocked her down or taken food from her. We have taught her the basic commands to give to the animals when they are doing something she doesn't like. When she starts to fuss and they are not doing anything we point out that they are just fine and she needs to leave them alone. Our daughter likes to give orders and be in control, so letting her tell the dogs what to do makes her feel safer. We also announce when we are letting them in the house so she can climb into a chair that way they don't knock her over. Two 80 pound labs barreling toward their food bowls is very scarry to a three-year-old.

I think on the issue of other children, the babysitter needs to work on sharing with all the kids. Telling your child that they need to share and be polite only works if they feel everyone is following the same rules. The best advice I can come up with is that she needs to clearly express why she is upset. We are constantly telling our child whining or yelling about something you don't like dosen't help me know how to fix the problem.

The other day my daughter yelled at me that she wanted some milk. I simply walked into the room and said "Yelling at me isn't very nice, I don like that. Can you think of a better way to ask for your milk?" She frowned and then broke into a huge smile and ask "Mommy can I have my sippy cup please?" I responded that of course she could and that I appreciated how nicley she asked me. Kids learn fast if they get what they want with good behavior faster than with bad behavior. Hope these ideas help.

Best wishes,

J.

OK, this is semi normal childhood behavior...but if it is stemmed from the babysitter..I and the dog s taking food from the kid...and the daughther..I thinik I would not so much worry about the kid, but the sitter...just a thought.'

You are not alone. My son (now 4) did that for awhile. He would yell at people at the store not to take things out of our cart! I completely understand your frustration. I just kept telling him that it wasn't nice to yell at people, and that they weren't going to take our stuff. I think either he finally accepted it or grew out of it, because I don't remember any one point when he stopped. He just doesn't do it anymore. I
Also, I remember hearing in one of my child development classes that it is normal for kids to have phases where they are very possessive. It sounds like your child has every reason to be possessive and may just need more time to adjust to not needing to guard her things.
Good luck!