What to Look for in a Dog When You Have 2 School Age Children?

Updated on May 01, 2008
J.W. asks from Saint Louis, MO
49 answers

We're giving serious consideration to getting a dog. Our children are ages 5 and 8 and I think they're old enough to take on some pet care. We'd probably adopt from an animal shelter but I haven't the first clue what to look for in a dog. Are there any red flags (besides the obvious--growling, open hostility) that we should look for? Any training courses or books we should read/take before we bring a dog home?

Thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!

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So What Happened?

OMG!!!!!!! What an AMAZING response! I want to thank everybody so much for all your wonderful advice and for sharing your experience with me. This has given me a lot to think about. We have a yard but no fence, so I'm leaning towards a smaller dog, as I want my kids to be able to walk the dog without fear of being dragged along if the dog takes off. (Apparently, I once tried walking our neighbor's German Shepard when I was 6 years old; my mom said I bounced along behind the dog like a tin can tied to a moving car.)

After reading the posts, I think obedience lessons for my children (and possibly my husband)are in order before we bring any dog home.

Thank you all so very much, I am very, very grateful!!!!!!!!!!

UPDATE: After some serious research, we have decided to postpone getting a dog until we can get a fence installed.

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D.G.

answers from Kansas City on

I have 4 children, 10, 9, 7 and 4. We have 2 shih-tzu's. One is 12 and the other only 1. They have been the best dogs. Easy to potty train, and very very good with children. My children when little would lay on the dog, pull on her tail and neither one have ever tried to bite. They are small dogs, about 15 pounds and they don't shed. Good luck!!!
ps. we have never had any health concers with either dog

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L.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Go to petfinder.com. They have so much info about dogs and what kind would fit for your family. They also list all the dogs in the area for adoption. Also, good for you for adopting from a shelter! Pound dogs are the best!

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W.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.,

I agree with marilee A, I have a yellow lab. We went with a yellow lab because they are so family friendly. We found him in the KC star, a lady in the Kansas city area, rescues animals from local breeders that are going to be put down because they are not up to the breeders standards. When we got our dog (we got him as a puppy) the lady told us that the breeder had said that he had a heart murmer. I took him to my vet and they said that most puppies are born with a heart murmer and they grow out of it within a couple of weeks. The lady I got him from allowed me to take him for free and I paid for all shots and the 1st vet visit, she had no cost to put out for the puppy herself.

Now here it is 2 yrs later that we have had our Bud dog and he is part of our family. He is around my kids and all of my daycare kids all day long.
When we decided to get a dog I wanted one that could be around the daycare kids and my kids and parents would not have to be concerned. When our dog has had enough of being around the daycare kids he is able to go to my oldest sons room and have his peace and quiet. I could not imagine our lives with out our Bud dog, he is a part of our "family" including daycare.
Our dog is rather large, he is 85 pounds and is about 3 feet tall when standing on all 4's but he isn't gonna get squashed being around the kids. My kids and daycare kids are able to climb on him and lay on him and he just looks at them. When the kids lay down for nap he makes his rounds and checks on everyone to make sure they are asleep and ok. When I have infants in the house he will sit by them when they are crying to make sure I come and pick them up and take care of them. He really keeps watch over our kids and our house, he is just like a kid at times and still gets in trouble just like them.

The only downfall I can point out on this is that labs are chewers, they love to chew. So if your kids leave their toys out especially wooden or plastic toys they will probably get chewed up. At this point our lab is going to be 2 yrs old in june and just this past Christmas we started leaving him out at night and not putting him in his kennel at night. He will either sleep on the couch, in front of the front door, in between my kids' rooms or in my kids' rooms. We still put him in the kennel when we leave to go somewhere and nobaody will be home. But as long as we have plenty of chew toys for him and dog bones we are ok. He really likes he Ham bones from price chopper and he knows he gets one every week, he even looks through the sacks to find his bone now.
Anyway good luck on looking for a puppy or a dog. We got ours in the spring and when he was 13 weeks old he was already crate trained and past the new puppy stage. W.

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M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

We have had our dog since our children were 3,4,8,& 10. We got her as a pup and she has been a great addition to our family. At times I don't even think she realizes that she is a dog. Since she grew up with our kids who are now 15, 16, 20,& 22. My advice is to find a younger dog that is still trainable. Our dog is a black lab. Labs are very good with children. Supposedly they have jaws that don't lock so if they did bite(our's never has)it isn't as bad as other dogs. Also because she is a female, she has a mothering instict when it comes to the kids. She would lay nearby in the yard when they were playing and sit or sleep in the room they were playing

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

I see you already have a lot of advise, but I just have to add to it. We had luck going to petfinder.com and finding a dog that was from a in-home rescue. Our dog had lived with a family and they were able to tell us what she was like. She was already two when we got her because I wasn't up taking care of a puppy. I'm also a supporter of crate training, but only if you do it right. If your dog is a chewer it protects your house and your dog while you are gone. You might want to look into it. Good luck.

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J.S.

answers from Memphis on

We just got a golden retriever puppy last summer with a 3, 5, and 7 year old. We played with him a lot before choosing him to see how he would react to the kids pulling on him, squealing around him and being rough. The vet also suggested laying him on his back to see what he would do (this helps check for dominance). You're looking for a dog that will calm down fairly quickly. We'd never had a dog before, and took him to training at Petropolis (in Chesterfield) and they were great! We learned a lot about basic obedience, dog behavior and helped socialize him with other dogs. He's still a handful (he's only 8 months old), but is getting better. My best piece of advice is to get a crate and use it!! He loves his crate and will choose to lay in it during the day with the door open. It's also a safe place for him to be while we're gone and at night. Good luck!

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M.J.

answers from St. Louis on

I would take the kids with you and let the counselors help you out. They are GREAT at matching the dogs with the families. Knowing a little about breeds and their histories will also help you to narrow down the pet you take into the "meet/greet" rooms. We have 3 dogs and 4 kids. As with raising kids....start with rules and don't budge...makes things less confusing for the kids and the dogs! Good Luck and congratulations on your new family member!

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R.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Ok first thing to remember is keep an open mind. DOnt discount breeds because of setrio type. I grew up with dobermans and they were the gentelest dogs ive known. With young children you will want a first pet to be about 2 or older kids leave toys around and the younger dogs will chew them up. The best thing to do is find out about the dogs background. Why is the dog there ect. Later after our dobermans passed away my mom took in a special needs dog a german sheapard it was a good dog for my mom she was very protective of her my if my dad or i walked behind her she would snap a bit. She was abused as a pup and would only trust the person that would feed her (that being my mom)everyone else she didnt like. Try looking up a few no kill shelters around your area they are a big help when trying to deside on a pet. Yard size and time for the dogs attention will determine what kind of breed or mix would work for you.

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R.T.

answers from Kansas City on

We adopted an adult dog from Wayside Waifs, and he has been wonderful. They do a very thurough screening of the dogs that was very helpful. It included comments from his last owner and what he did when he was left alone in a living room setting. Taking him on a walk let us know he was the right dog for us. I recommend Wayside Waifs and I recommend looking for an adult dog.

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K.G.

answers from Kansas City on

Good for you for adopting. All of our dogs are adopted from various different organizations. In your case I would recommend looking at someplace like HELP (Homes for Endangered and Lost Pets). This is an organization where all of the animals are fostered by people and kept in their homes until they can find a permanent home. The foster parent can give you more detailed information than a shelter worker can. In a shelter the dogs are kept in cages and do not necessarily exhibit their true behavior but in foster care they are in homes with other animals and children and such. These animals are often older too, so they are already housebroken and don't chew on your furniture. HELP is located in Belton and there website is www.helppets.org They do not always have all the animals listed on the website though so you might call.

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C.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Definitely take into consideration whether the dog will be inside or outside. If you want one inside, ask at the shelter which ones shed. I don't know how much room you have, but we have a yellow lab that is AWESOME with our kids! They have pulled his tail, ears, tried to ride him, etc and he just looks at me like, "aren't you going to help me?" They are a little bit of a handful as a puppy, so if you get one, feel free to e-mail me and I will give you some things to watch for.

Depending on how rowdy your children are, size of the dog could be a factor. If the kids are going to be playing hard with the dog, a smaller dog could get hurt more easily and become defensive. But if they want a lap dog, they may not like a bigger one after it grows (my 75-pounder loves to be in our laps if we would let him!)

Good luck and have fun!

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M.M.

answers from Kansas City on

J.,
I am a DOG LOVER, I have two and have always adopted from shelters. Cesar Milans book on dog physcology is very helpful and he has a chapter about choosing a dog. It's called Cesar's Way I think. Also consider your lifestyle and energy level of your family. Cesar may also have info on his web site. You can google dog whisperer. I hope that helps some. The people at the shelters are sometimes pretty helpful matching you up also, they even helped me match my last dog to the one I already owned and they are a team! Let me know if I can help you further, dogs are my passion!! M.

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D.L.

answers from Topeka on

Discuss what traits you want the dog to have such as do you want the dog to be quiet or very active? Certain breeds bring out certain traits.Do you want the dog to be small or large. A border collie requires a lot of walks and runs because they have so much energy. Talk to your local vet or dog obdience class and get suggestions.

Good luck,
D.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

Personally, I disagree somewhat about the puppy issue. Yes, puppies are a lot of work. BUT, part of the whole getting a dog issue is about teaching responsibility to the kids. Also, when you have a puppy you can decide on the house rules for the dog and teach the rules to the dog easier. The kids will learn very valuable lessons if you employ their help with this.

That aside, decide if you are willing to do grooming and avoid long hair breeds if you won't. I know a great groomer that charges 20 each time if that doesn't bother you.

Stay away from the mean or aggressive breeds. It's not worth it if they go off. We hear stories of how we shouldn't worry because someone has a sweet..fill in the blank. But that doesn't help a grieving parent when their child is maimed for life or killed. ANY dog CAN go off though so the kids need the training as much as the dogs.

If you get a dog that looks to be pure or mostly pure research the dog in question for common problems. For instance, Shitzu's are prone to expensive skin problems, Malteses get arthritis and can't run too much and may someday need lots of medical care for it. Dashunds I believe have a common hip problem that needs surgery quiet often. Flat faced dogs and cats have a lot of eye problems. Muts are usually healthier :)

Suzi

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

from my experience, i have always liked the idea of an adult dog, just due to the time issue (potty training, behavior training, etc), especially with kids. the only downside is with an adult dog i would worry more that there might be underlying experiences with the dog that may someday come out as inappropriate behavior. you never know what the dog may have gone through before it came to you, you know? just silly little things like maybe red shoes make it go berzerk or something. that's just my paranoia talking. we have not gotten to the point where we're thinking about it yet, since we live in an apartment and our son is only 18 months old. however, one thing i would suggest is to avoid the "hyper" breeds (or mixes of them) such as beagles, cocker spaniels, and schnauzers. as puppies it's hard to see how they will be as an adult dog, since most puppies are pretty hyper anyway. and even with these breeds, some are great family pets...but the ones i've met have been annoyingly hyper, and more high-strung dogs won't be as good with your kids. just a thought.

PS, you're doing a great thing by researching - i would google search for "family dogs", and find out what breeds are best for what you're looking for. also consider health care costs. some breeds are a lot more prone to certain issues. my choice personally would be a lab or golden retreiver mix. though these might be hard to come by at a shelter.

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L.M.

answers from Springfield on

A long time ago when my sons were 5 and 10 we got a boxer. He was great with the kids and all the other kids in the neighborhood, maybe it was because we got him at 6 weeks of age. But then after our boys were long gone on their own, we got another Boxer who was seven years old and he was great, with everybody; even without being raise with children, he was the best with the grandchildren.

My oldest son had has wonderful luck with a Golden Retriever. They have 4 children, accually they got the dog before the first one was born. They deceided on females.
I believe it's all in the training too.
Good luck

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S.G.

answers from Springfield on

When our children were young, we went to the library to do some research. Stay away from big dogs if you don't have a large yard or property to let them run in. (It's not fair for them to be cooped up in the house or apartment. Some small dogs are not good around kids; Scotties can be mean, Beagles are great, but escape with every door that is not closed fast enough!, Westies bark at every moving thing and never get used to the neighbors being in their own back yards. Forget Pit Bulls, but Dobermens are great if raised with children, Dachshunds have been great in several of our familie's homes, and believe it or not, Muts ar ususally intelligent and protective. One clue that we followed when picking out our puppy was to hold the dog on it's back like a human baby. If the dog squirmed excessively, it will not be as trusting or submissive. If it let's you hold it like that for a while, it will be a good indicator of submission. (which you want in a dog!) I hope these ideas have been helpful.

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M.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Don't get an animal unless you are prepared to take of it on your own, and won't mind the extra work that the kids and the dog make together. I like poodle mixes because of not having all the shedding. Mixes tend to have pretty good dispositions. It is important to know how the dog has been raised. People some times take them away from their moms too quickly, or treat them badly and it can make a big impact on their disposition. You need to do a lot of talking with the kids. Also be prepared for things to work against you. How will we do vacation, what if ..... is allergic, how do we train him to stop chewing, biting, peeing, etc. Pets are a lot of fun, but you really need to be prepared. Personally, we waited til our kids were alittle older, but there were more of them and I just didn't want the extra work for a while. I grew up on a farm so I always had pets, but I also knew that we didn't always have the right place to keep one, hence we waited.
Enjoy just be prepared.
Nelda C
M. of 5 nearly grown kids.

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A.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Congratulations on getting a new dog. Adopting is a great option. My daughter 21 years old, just adopted a dog. My advice to her was to visit the dog a couple of times to make sure it's behavior was consistent. In your case, I would make sure your kids go along. Some dogs just aren't good around little kids. The folks at the shelter should also be able to help you. They don't want to mismatch you and a dog and get the dog back. If you know anyone who fosters dogs, you may get some advice from them. Even if you get a housebroken dog, expect to have to spend some time getting the dog on your family's schedule. There may be some accidents during the transition.

Many people freak out when a dog snaps at a child's face. It seems like a very agressive act. I just learned lately that dogs do that to pups to correct their behavior. They are not biting, they are correcting what they think is bad behavior. You should discipline the dog to stop that behavior, but don't freak about it.

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

If you're going to adopt an grown dog, as opposed to a puppy, make sure you know the dogs history. Why was it given up in the first place? Look for a dog with a temperment that's known to be good with kids. Visist the dog a couple of times and bring the kids.
We adopted a Lab/Cocker mix dog when my oldest son was 4. He was usually pretty good but there were always some little things. He didn't like it when the kids went anywhere near his bone. If he got anything that he wasn't supposed to have he would snap and bite when you tried to take it away. he would growl and snarl if you tried to grab his coller to remove him from a situation.
Last February I was pregnant with our third child and the dog lunged out the door and bit our mail carrier. I was so scared and I didn't knokw what to do. I couldn't take the chance of him continuing this aggression and worrying about a new baby. We had to have him put down.
I am in favor of adopting but I would recomend a puppy. There's no way to know for sure what history the dog has. Good Luck!

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S.S.

answers from St. Louis on

We you need to consider where you live as part of your dog picking process. A big dog will need more running space and some beed of dogs are very hyper and bark alot witch can cause trouble with the nieghors. I have and have had several pets from the collie and shelty family. Very family friendly breed but had to find at the shelter but not inmpossible. Males are usally calmer than the femals in this breed just from my experiance. We used to have 2 different lab breeds and they always were jumping the fence and would not stay home. Great dogs otherwise. Take your kids with you when you look for a pet to see how they interact. Althought your kids are older you might want to see it the dog jumps on you when you pet it. Larger dogs can push a person or child over it they jump on them. Not to mention guest coming over might get upset. ALso were to plan of keeping the pet? Indoors outdoor? Something to consider too is were will the pet sleep when your not there. Dogs are very social animals alike to be with the human. You also want to know if the dog you look at is a chewer or digger. My sheltie were never chews but my labs destroyed my yard. Also have your husband go to. Some dogs are scared of males. Dont know why but the whole family should be involed for finding the right pet.

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R.K.

answers from St. Louis on

You are very wise to even be asking this question. A lot of people go get a dog not even thinking about what is best for their family - or the dog. Here is a web site that goes through every breed and tells you what is best for kids:
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/children.htm

I am a "pet writer" who works for Purina a lot, so I've done lots of research on this subject. I applaud you for considering shelter dogs because they need a home the most. You may find specific breeds at a shelter, but you will also find a lot of loveable mutts. Mutts will carry some of the personality traits of the breeds that are part of them.

The Humane Society of Missouri is a wonderful organization and they will appreciate your concern about what kind of dog will be best for your family. Shelters want dogs adopted for life, so they will be happy to help match you up with a dog that is going to fit best with your lifestyle, so that you and the dog live happily ever after.

One animal trainer/expert I interviewed told me that people who are inexperienced with dogs should get an "experienced" dog. That is, an adult dog with mid-level intelligence, but already trained to go potty outside, and have basic manners inside. If inexperienced people get a highly intelligent puppy, like a Border Collie or Poodle, the puppy will learn things you didn't intend to teach - just because he's so smart and you are not aware of what you are inadvertently teaching him.

Also, remember black dogs are just as sweet as dogs of any other color. Black dogs are last to be adopted - which is an odd phenomenon but shelters figure it's partly because people fear black dogs because in movies the scary dog is always a big black Doberman. Also black dogs are harder to photograph, so their pictures don't show up so well on adoption sites. No one really knows exactly why, but sadly, black dogs just are overlooked. I can tell you from experience, I had a black dog as a child and we loved the heck out of him!

Good luck in your search! Also, visit the web site I write for to get all kinds of fun dog info: www.petcentric.com.

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R.A.

answers from St. Louis on

A dog that was bred to be a hunting dog like a black lab are usually the best around children. They handle sudden loud noises well. I'd also lift the dogs paw. If his first instinct is to bite your hand, it's not as good as if his first instinct is to pull the paw away or allow you to hold his paw. That's just a few things off the top of my head.

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M.H.

answers from St. Louis on

We are the proud parents of 4 children and 2 adopted
Schnausers. We adopted them from Partners for Pets. The dogs are 7 years old and brother and sister. They have been nutered and spayed and had all their shots and have been a huge blessing. Our family loves the dogs and the dogs have been the best dogs. They have never messed in the house and are well tempered. When we adopted them they had information on each one. They told if they would be good around children and what kind of temperments. We also had the oppurtunity to walk them and see what they would be like outside the shelter. I am not sure what kind of dogs will be good around children but I hope this helps you. Good luck in finding your new addition.

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L.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I would definitely get a dog from the animal shelter and for your own sanity, get an adult dog...2 years old or older. My older dog, who I got when she was 8 weeks old, didn't calm down until she was 2, not before eating the bottoms of every cabinet in my kitchen as well as CD's, pens, and expensive Playstation games. When I go to the animal shelter (APA) just to look at the dogs for fun, I can always tell the ones I would bring home - the ones that are just sitting there looking at you with those sad eyes. I just like how calm they are as opposed to the ones that are jumping up and down and barking like crazy. If you approach the calm ones, they seem to just want to snuggle up to you and have you pet them. I think that's a good indicator that they are pretty mellow. I think "mellow" is good if you have two kids running around. You don't want to get a dog that is too old, though. Remember, too, that you can always take the dog back to the shelter if it really doesn't work out and they have some kind of major issue(at least at the APA you can). Also, PetSmart has obedience classes. Good luck. I got a puppy 7 months ago to have a friend for my other dog and although I love her to death, I've tortured myself again! Puppies sure are a lot of work.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

We have a shitz tzu. We have had him for nearly 10 yrs and he is great w/ our kids. They make great pets for the whole family. They are total lap dogs and very affectionate. They love to play (fetch) especially when they are puppies. Tyson is apart of our family. I think its great that you want your kids to take on responsibility, a pet is a great way plus they get a new best friend...good luck!

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M.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I am so glad to hear that you are thinking of rescuing...There are so many FRIENDLY dogs at the pound that are basically free. Pound dogs love to go home with a loving family. OK, I am assuming that your kids are taking responsibility for the new member of the family. First, Condsider how big is your house? How big is your yard? Will your kids be walking the dog, or do you have a fenced in back yard? Think this through first and then you will have an idea on what size of dog is good for your children. A small yard, or walking probably means a littler dog about 20 -30 pounds. If you are walking you don't want the dog to over power your kids, A little house with 2 kids definately means a littler dog (Trust me..I have 4 dogs...and have been rescuing my whole life). I also volunteer at the humane society, but not as much as I used to. My son is 20 months old and I stopped when I got pregnant. If I have some extra time through the week I still stop in and will take a homeless one for a little walk. They are in so much need of LOVE. OK, so you and your family have decided on an approximate size. Go looking for that one who is NOT that shy. They are all nervous (consider what they have been going through or have been through), when you see a friendly dog that looks happy, ask someone to take you into a private room. Spend time with the dog. Is it nervous? Most of the time a good dog will let that nervousness go away once it is alone with you, along with the shyness. Try finding a dog that is neither shy nor nervous, but up beat and happy when you get him or her alone. The sex doesn't really matter if you are getting from the pound. Both sexes get fixed before they go home. How old is the dog? Don't forget that puppies will go through a chewing stage, and a potty training stage. If you and your kids are willing to work with these 2 issues, then a younger, fistier dog would be great. However, if you don't want to deal with this, a dog say maybe 3 or 4 would be more ideal. They are still young enough to play and play and play, but will be thru those major obstacles that take so much patience. On the other hand, it maybe something you want your kids to learn to do - disipline them lovingly. All dogs from the pound are placed up for adoption only if they are suitable. They have to pass a number of tests before they get the OK. So, that part is already done for you. Consider also how much energy you are looking for. A Jack Russell terrier will probably wear your kids out...where as a poodle mix of some sort wouldn't bounce off the walls. It depends on what your family wants, so talk to them about what their expectations are for their new pet before you go get one. AND lastly, ask the pound person what they know about that breed. If it is a mut, they can usually pin point pretty close to what the mixed breeds are, so ask questions. Some breeds are notorious for chewing, where others are not. Will this dog and it's mix breeding be hyper, will it be easy to potty break? etc... AND then every once in a while you will walk into a pound, take one look at a dog and instantly know in your heart "THAT IS THE ONE" just by the way they look at you. The bond is made just that quick. Good Luck.
M. - Smithton, Illinois

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R.F.

answers from Kansas City on

HI J.,

My family has had a Boxer since our oldest was 2 years old. I have two boys now 6 & 10. All our friends and family say she "our Boxer" is the best dog they have ever met. Even my sister, who hated dogs for as long as I could remember, now has a Boxer as apart of her family (2 kids, 6 & 7).

The Boxer, if you have not checked into them are very well mannered, loving and protective animals. Our Boxer has never been to obedient school. Although, I believe it is the owner of the animal that makes a difference, there are dogs, such as the smaller breeds that are more cranky and/or needy.

Good luck and take care!

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J.W.

answers from Kansas City on

Hi J.. I was a volunteer at my local shelter for many years and one of the things I did was help match puppies and dogs to prospective 'guardians' (rather than calling you an 'owner'). There are a few things I would suggest to you:

1. Be honest and realistic about your lifestyle. By this I mean, does your lifestyle include high level exercise? Daily jogging/running or are you and yours more likely to spend more time on the couch reading or playing video games (there is no judgment here -- simply guaging what breed or mix of breeds is best suited to how you live)? Always remember that a tired dog is a good dog. Exercise and fun play are vital parts to the life of a dog and besides, it is fun and good for you and your family.

2. Another very important thing to consider is being real about the financial responsibility of being a pet guardian. As Oprah said recently on her program (and I cannot quote her verbatim) "Think carefully and long before adding a dog to your family. It is truly like adding another child. It is a big responsiblity." It is, but I will add that there is no greater joy.

3. What size of dog is most suitable to where you call home? Don't assume all large dogs need acres and acres to roam while a small terrier, for instance, needs little room. Here's where checking in a breed book will help.

4. Get a hold of a good book on the different breeds of dogs, one which will indicate the activity need levels of the breed. It will also tell you what types of grooming is needed, what the height and weight parameters should be of the breed, plus it should tell you about the breed history and how well the breed is known to be, in general, with children (including the kids' ages and the children's training and behavior toward animals).

5. Remember all members of the family need to be 'on board' with the addition of a new family member. Another place where realism and honesty are vital. As a mom myself, I knew the old saying is true -- no matter who, at the outset, says they will be responsible to take care of the dog or cat, ultimately the responsiblity will be mom's.

6. Take into consideration how often you travel and whether you will take the new family member with you or will you board him/her, get another family member or friend to take care of your friend while you are gone, hire a pet sitter or, well, you get the idea.

7. Do you have the time that a puppy or dog needs? Puppies obviously need more time because of the housetraining -- just like a human baby -- and all dogs need obedience/behaviorial training. Adult dogs need time too for they, like us, get bored and when we and they get bored, well, things can happen that aren't well received. Again, a tired dog is a good dog.

J., there's undoubtedly more I could share with you. Simply put, in my heart and mind, there is nothing better than welcoming a puppy or dog to your family. All animals, human and non-, deserve all the Care, Compassion and Respect that you would want for yourself. I probably sound like I'm over the top, but dogs are pack animals and want to be with their family. You adopt a puppy or dog and you become their family. Keep them in the house with you and they will be your alarm and protection service. Keep them near, love and respect them and you will be blessed with an unconditional bond of love and loyalty...plus when you come home to him/her, you will be greeted like you are the most important and loved person in the world! It's a definite way to change a mood if only for a moment!

Hope I didn't scare you off. Becoming a pet guardian is a true gift from God and you will know a love and bond like no other. Truly unconditional.

Remember to give the relationship time. If you adopt a puppy, don't be swayed by their cuteness (no such thing as a non-cute puppy) for they will all grab your heart. Review what you learn from your research as to breed and remember that mixes throw all you've learned into a blender, so to speak. Teach your puppy what is and isn't acceptable behavior and watch young kids around the live 'stuffed animal'to prevent nips to the kids and possible injury to the pup. Respect from all humans, no matter what age, is important here. You'll need to learn to trust your pup and that takes time and effort on both your part and the pup's part.

If you adopt an adult dog, learn as much as possible about his/her background. There may be a relinquishment form at the shelter, but there may only be what the staff has observed.

I've always raised my dogs from pups and yes, it is work, but well worth it. Well, two years ago I adopted an adult dog for the first time and I had to reverse my thinking -- I had to earn his trust instead of him earning mine. He was housetrained and very well mannered, but it took about 6-8 weeks for me to realize that he finally knew he was home and it was his home. He was a stray, but I do believe he was 'dumped' as he was clean, his weight and health were excellent, and his pads and toenails were smooth -- none of the indicators of having been on the run were present. I still don't know his background, but I've noticed a few things that probably happened in his past -- like he doesn't like any yelling in anger (pets are so sensitive to emotions), he would cower if I reprimanded him when he was first in our family, so I believe he was hit or kicked at some time and that is never appropriate. Just like with kids, time, structure, rules, etc. pay off big time. And do everything with love and compassion. Because as much as I anthropromorphize (sp?), a dog is still a glorious dog, but they have different reactive measures -- they can't tell you in words to stop or that something is wrong; instead, they will growl(warning) and nip or bite and nobody, especially not them, wants that to happen.

Oh, enough -- I've bored you long enough. I imagine you can tell I am passionate about animals. I apologize if I have bored you. I can't imagine not having an adopted dog -- my life would be far less fulfilling. And adoption is the way to go -- when you adopt from a shelter, you are truly saving two animals: the one you take home with you and the one who immediately takes his or her kennel/cage/run space.

Good luck, have fun and may God bless you for thinking of adopting a forever best friend!

Jane W.
Overland Park, KS

PS Remember to make sure your new friend is spayed or neutered -- aim for No More Homeless Pets!

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B.K.

answers from St. Louis on

Make sure the dog is friendly and tail wagging when he sees you and the kids. A shy standoffish dog may not be the best for a family with small kids. Take any dog you are looking at in the shelter and ask to see it in a play room or somewhere you can observe the dogs behaiour with the kids.
Give the dog a toy and try to take it back. You don't want a dog around small kids that will snap at you or growl when trying to take his toy. You can also ask the shelter workers which dog would be best with small kids. They usualy know and have favorites.

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S.Z.

answers from St. Louis on

J., I love the fact that you want to go to a shelter. I work for a dog rescue service and I think you would be better off contacting a rescue than a shelter. These dogs are well screened and usually have worked with behaviorists to make sure they are matched up to a good home. They will already know if your children will be safe with them and you should get alot more one on one before you make your decision. If you need to see what these are like, here is the website I help with www.hopeanimalrescues.com.

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Boxer's are great with kids. We have one and she is absolutely wonderful with our grandkids. They pull her tail, ride her like a horse, play with her skin hanging from her mouth. She lets them do anything they want. Plus she has raised all our other dogs. We have yorkie and scnauzer pups and she has raised them and from the first time they came into the house. We just gor us a chihuahua and she loves him as well.
I have never liked big dogs but our Heide has changed my mind.
R.

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T.V.

answers from Springfield on

If your looking for a medium size or big dog, Boxers and Labs are excellent for children. They have a high tolerance level and are like a "nanny." Hope this helps! We have a Boxer and they are a little hyper but so great even with our 3 month old twins. :)

T.

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E.M.

answers from Lawrence on

We have an English Springer spaniel. I think he is the best dog for kids. He has a great temperment, though he is high energy which can be frustrating sometimes. He's 6, and I'm sure he'll always be energetic. Other breeds that are really great with kids are Labs and Golden retrievers. I'm sure there are different websites that can give you more ideas. We had a small boston terrier mix that was a real bully so we had to get rid of her. I wouldn't recommend a small breed. The Springers get to be about 50LBS, so they're a medium sized dog. They are also roamers, so even though they are fast and full of energy, they won't run off, just circle.
Good luck in your search.

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M.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Good for you in adopting a shelter dog. After we had purebreds for years growing up, we adopted our first shelter dog 3 1/2 years ago. We had a baby 10 months old at the time, and have since added another, so the dog had to be family friendly. My hesitation with a shelter dog vs a purebred was simply you didn't know the dog's history and "standard" temperment. My fears were quickly resolved by speaking to someone at the shelter. They are quite often able to tell you what breeds the dog probably is. This is great information because you can easily look online to find our what to expect from each breed. I would also recommend getting a puppy if possible, like we did, because the dog probably doesn't have a history of abuse, running away, etc. which can make your dog less predictable, especially around kids. Good luck!!

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C.A.

answers from Springfield on

I would look into finding a reputable rescue. One that has dogs in foster homes instead of a shelter type environment. This gives the dog a chance to live in a home and the foster parents to get a good feel of the dogs temperament. They will be able to tell you more about the dogs personality including if its good with children.

I recommend taking your new pup to a basic obedience class no matter how well behaved it is. This will help you family and the dog bond, and also teach him/her manners.

There are many great books out there, your local library is the best place to start. If you are looking for a specific breed I would get a book or two on the breed alone too!

Good luck!

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B.R.

answers from Kansas City on

We have a great dog that we got at the shelter! She is a lab/boxer mix and she is fantastic with our children. I have two children under 3 and she is wonderful with them. I looked at her one time to find my toddler pulling her jowls (sp?) up examining her teeth. She is a large dog, but a good one. If you are worried about your children and the new dog, you might want to find one that has been around children that age. Our neighbor's dog is a lab and he growls at my children b/c the kids at his house are teenagers and he thinks my little ones are very curious. So, I'd advise taking your children to pick out the dog to see how it reacts to your children.
B.

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M.A.

answers from Kansas City on

Personally, I have a black lab that I have had since my oldest, who is now 11, was 4 years old and my youngest daughter was 9 months. She has been a wonderfully denpendable dog and works very well with the children. The experts say that Labs are loyal and very good with children and I have to agree with them. She also tends to get along GREAT with two of our three cats - the third one is just an old cranky cat who doesn't like anyone but myself.
I would check Wayside Waifs, they have a really good adoption program when it comes to their animals.

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C.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I have had pets all my life and would never concider ever being without them. This next tid bit may seem to sound insane, however hear me out. Consider getting 2 dogs around them same age. They will be great company for your children and when everyone is at work or school, they will keep each other company and be less lonely, which also means less destruction to your home. I think readings from Ceaser Millan would be very helpful. Also, I love the idea that you will be going to a shelter for your new family member, they are the best, I have had both rescue dogs and pure breds, although they are all wonderful, my rescue dogs are extremely loyal and faithful. Good luck!!

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J.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We just a adopted a black lab from Wayside Waifs in Grandview (great place). We have a 5 year old and a small dog. They really worked with us on making sure everyone was okay together. They have "meeting" area for the whole family to go to and let the dog off leash to meet anyone. They also offer dog obedience training onsite. I am VERY impressed with this organization. They have dozens of dogs and cats to choose from. It took us several weeks to find just the right animal and several organizations before we ended up a Wayside. Labs are great easy-going dogs as well. My 5 year old hangs all over this guy and he doesn't do a thing! Just sits there and takes it.

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S.U.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband and I have 2 dogs. A Jack Russel Terrier and an English Mastiff. They are both great with the kids. The terrier is very energetic and playful. The Mastiff is huge and just lets the kids climb all over her because she is so calm and big, nothing really moves her quickly except food. Only thing with the Mastiff is she drools a lot, but one of my girls requested a slobbery dog--so that's what we got. When we chose her as a puppy, she had a sister pup that chased the girls around the pin. My husband made the point to me to choose the lazier acting pup since she would grow to be big. Her personality is great with our 1 yr old. Good Luck! S.

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R.W.

answers from Springfield on

My suggestion would be to go to the animal shelter and talk to the folks there. Those pets are screened and observed before they let them be adopted... to make sure they are good dogs.

It's wonderful to have a pet. You can go online too and just google "suitable pets for children", or something like that. Also your local library should have some books, or talk to a veterinarian. Sometimes they have clients with puppies who need a good home.

We miss our dogs. We had Heidi, a German shepherd/chow/collie mix of a big dog who was just wonderful. She was a great watch dog, but so gentle and kind with beautiful eyes. Our little Katie, a terrier mix was Heidi's companion. They kept each other company when we were gone during the day. Heidi lived almost 13 years, and Katie 12. They died within 4 months of each other after long lives.

It was wonderful for the kids to have those pets. Don't know if we'll get another as our children are grown now and we travel some. But, we get to take care of our "grand dogs" on occasion!

Enjoy!

R.

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T.R.

answers from Wichita on

When looking for a dog we went into petfinder.com which gave us some good info.  We then went into puppyfind.com, and researched the right one for us.  We had to find an allergy free dog (non shedding), and both these sights were helpful.  Be careful of the shelters.  You want to make sure they are rated high, and clean.  We tried those first thinking we could just adopt, but found the ones we looked at were very dirty, and the dogs weren't taken care of.  We found our pups on puppyfind.com from a  breeder so we have the whole history on our pups, and we just love them.  You may just check it out, but do a lot of research before deciding.

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A.B.

answers from Columbia on

I would whole heartedly recommend checking out the dogs at Second Chance behind Brady Glass on Providence. The have a website to at http://www.columbia2ndchance.org/DesktopDefault.aspx
You can hang out with the dogs there and they will be able to tell you alot about the dogs personality and can help you find one that suits your family.

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M.B.

answers from Topeka on

Hi J., I just wanted to put my two cents in if I could. My question to you is....are YOU ready for the responsibility of a dog. We have a yellow lab we got for free as a puppy, he's now 3 and 75lbs. and a cat we also got for free and he's 3 1/2 and very large and healthy and loveable, around 15 lbs.! He's a tomcat/farmcat-indoor/outdoor cat. These are the greatest pets you could ever ask for!!!! My reason behind this writing is that I have 6 kids (ages 19-5) and one of their chores that they share is to feed the cat and dog--THAT'S IT--no walking the dog or changing a litter box (our cat goes outside to do his thing)HE trained himself to do this, don't ask my why or how. :)The kids have to be told every day many times to complete this chore. After the novelty of having a pet wore off they were no longer interested in the animals, I have had similar problems with hamsters, which smell to high heavens when not cleaned often enough and breed like rabbits. I LOVE having these pets but they are more work for me. Labs are great dogs and if you do a training class when they are young and EVERYBODY learns the exact same commands so the dog isn't confused,and be consistant, you'll have a great pet. They do love to chew things up and will do so more when they are lonely (they are people dogs) and need lots of exercise and they are very strong, mine can pull me off my feet when he sees a rabbit. Overall they are very loyal and love attention and will play catch till your arm falls off. You might start out with a fish, two of my boys have fish (they are 15 and 13) and are solely responsible for cleaning, feeding and buying supplies and seem to do pretty good and are happy with that amount of responsibility. I hope this hasn't discouraged you but I wanted to just give you some insight, sorry it's so long too. Good Luck!
M.

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L.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I have a 7 year old daughter and a 2 year old black lab. We got our lab when he was 14 weeks old, and my daughter helped to train him. She went to puppy classes with me when I took him, so we all learned together. As far as the fenced in yard, I would recommend it, but you can teach the dog to stay in the yard with you when you are outside- I walked my dog around the perimeter of the yard on his leash to teach him and we can now go in our front yard without him running. Also, my daughter is able to walk him, even though he is 80 lbs. We have a "gentle leader" which helped him learn not to pull when she has the leash. It just takes a lot a patience and practice. I personally think that getting a puppy to grow up with your children is better, but everyone will have a different opinion about this. I would just recommend taking your children with you to the shelter and talking to the people there, they will not let you adoopt a dog that is not good for your family.

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L.H.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi my name is L. H. We have always had a dog with our children. I have found that black labs are very gentle by nature. It's a good ideal to get a puppy and use a crate for training it. The crate will not only potty train the dog but it will also help to calm it. There are all sorts of books available on line and in your local library on training dogs and general nature of dogs. Remember how you train a dog helps to shape it's personality. Good luck our children range in age from 21-25 now and we have owned 2 labs. Now we have a grandson 8 months old who comes to visit and plays with our lab without any problems.

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M.I.

answers from St. Louis on

Maybe you could look with one of the places that let you foster a dog. After a few different dogs, then you'll figure what type of dog is best for you....and even if they can handle the responsibility of dog ownership. If you're interested in fostering a dog, let me know and I'll give you the phone number of my sister-in-law. She helps to match dogs and foster parents up.

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N.R.

answers from St. Louis on

I'd recommend not getting a dog that's too hyper a breed (border collie, dalmation, terrier, lab, retreiver) as these "worker dogs" tend to get bored easily. Get a mutt that's a couple years old and has all of the "puppy" out of him or her. If trained properly, all breeds will be good with kids but when choosing, try to grab the food from the dog's bowl as he is eating. If he nips, don't take him home. Take a leash with you when you choose, too. See how the dog does. If you're looking for a guardian as well, see how the dog responds to loud noises (clap). Bottom line is you'll know your pup when you see him.

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