She's a Screamer ~ !

Some thoughts to get you started: Food allergy? You could cut out the main things kids have allergies to, and if she improves, then re-introduce them one by one. (Wait a week and observe after each change.) Physical stimuli? Is she sensitive to a detergent, or itchy clothing? Or is it an emotional control system? If it's emotion, you could gently tell her as she's screaming that screaming doesn't get her what she wants, and that if she wants something she should show you or tell you. Be as unresponsive as possible to the screaming, and jump quickly to do what she asks when she asks nicely. Please ask me, if you'd like more info about any of this. And if you haven't yet, ask her doctor about the screaming. Hang in there! This too shall pass.

Thank goodness!! It seems we have similar problems. My son is also just turning two and he is a character! Luckily for me he doesn't scream but he really does explore. I'm all for positive reinforcement but I'm finding that maybe a slight life adjustment is what our family needs. My daughter went through this as well and we just didn't take as many trips to the store and brought snacks and drinks for her to stay occupied. I know this isn't much help but I'm starting to think some of us are just blessed with strong/challenging kids. You're doing a great job and handling things very well, just keep at it and your little one will see what actions lead to positive outcomes. Hang in there!

I like what Bonnie wrote and I would add REALLY praise her when she uses her quiet voice and when she has good behavior--catch her off guard and catch her often being the good girl you want. Kids come to love praise and want to please (even strong-willed ones)--and it can't hurt. Hang in there!!

Check out books like Raising your Spirited child and books on Sensory Integration or Sensory Processing. Perhaps you can gain some insight from those.

If you want to bring in a professional opinion, ask the pediatrician, but be prepared to hear common labels, such as ADHD or Autistic or some such. You can probably understand her better from a little research on your own than by going in for any kind of testing.

That sounds exhausting! I think she is just strong willed and intense. Some kids are. There is nothing you are doing wrong and there is nothing wrong with her. She just has a different personality from your other two. Sometimes I think it helps just to acknowledge that this is just where your kid is at right now and remind yourself that she is still fantastic and lovable and unique.

It sounds like you are handling it very well. I disagree completely with spanking and think that sets up a bad dynamic between parents and kids. It also doesn't do much to teach her not to use physical force to get what she wants. And you want a cooperative, peaceful family, not a family based on threats.

So, keep doing what you're doing. Ignore her when she is screaming for no reason (I realize much easier said than done). Sounds like you did a great job with the diaper situation. Stay calm, continue to do what you are doing and don't give in. Screaming is usually to get a reaction. The less reaction she gets, the less interesting it will be (and she WILL grow out of this). If she is hurting her siblings, intervene as quickly as possible and remove her swiftly. Say "I don't let anyone hurt you and I won't let you hurt anyone else." You could either put her in a time out for a set period of time (2-3 minutes) or tell her she needs to be away from the family until she has calmed down. Either way, you'll have to keep putting her back in the time out for a long time until she realizes you really mean it.

I think sometimes it helps to mirror kids' emotions back to them and give them an outlet for anger. If you see she is getting frustrated, say "ooh, I can see how mad that makes you. You are mad! Maybe you should hit this pillow or kick this step or scream in the basement." Let her express her emotions, but not hurt people.

Hang in there - it will get better and some of this fiestiness will be a great quality down the line.

B.

PS - if this continues or gets worse and you think it is more than just a personality issue, call your pediatrician and describe these symptoms. It could be totally normal or there could be something more going on. Good luck!

LOL!!! Yep that is my child as well. He is my stongwilled child! We started to ignor him when he screemed. It is a hard thing to do in a mall or while he is in a shopping cart and everyone is looking at you. Oh well. This is for the good of your child. When he screems I do the task at hand (diaper him, cloth him, etc...) but do not look directly at him or talk to him. As soon as he stops I make a point to play, talk, or do something with him that is possitive. It look about 2 months and now he very realy screems and if he does it because of something his brother does. It was very much how he got attention so I had to let him know that he was not going to get what he wanted while screeming!!!! Good luck

I've dealt with quite a few screamers before (visiting kids, not my own). Here's what works for me:

If a kid starts screaming, give them absolutely NO attention and make sure that no one else gives the screamer attention at this point, too. Remove yourself and the other kids from the screamer. (Make sure the screamer is in a safe place.) As soon as the screaming stops--this can take up to 40 minutes--calmly ask the child what they want. Make sure they ask in a nice voice. Then give them what they want. (Don't make a big deal at this point. Asking for things in a calm voice is an expected human behavior.) I know this is tough when you're frazzled, but this technique has worked for me with 3 kids so far.

They learn pretty quick that at least in MY house, that behavior gets them nothing but hoarse vocal cords.

Whenever you witness any kid or even adult! asking for something nicely, comment on it, in front of the screamer. All kids want an adult to notice and complement them.

I had one of those. At least I think I did. I don't want to say that I know for sure that our children are so similar when I don't really know that much about yours. But after having 8 with pretty predictable screaming stages that lasted a rather predictable amount of time and was corrected with about the same kind of discipline, we had one that wouldn't stop. She screamed for an entire year from 1 1/2 to 2 1/2. In our case, this child had also displayed challenges as a newborn and at a few other stages, and she also tended to be whiny or clingy.

We happened to be dealing at the same time with a baby who could not sleep peacefully and never had. She kept us up a great deal of every single night. When I got desperate, I mamasourced this and got the advice to look up Cranial Sacral Therapy. I have been absolutely amazed at the power of this treatment. We had our baby treated (adjusted) and she slept for the first time in her 9-month life. She had a regression and we treated her again and she has been a good sleeper ever since. We were so impressed that we had other children treated for various problems, including our screamer/whiner/clinger/night-waker-screamer. And I think it worked. She screams rarely now and at explainable situations. She is a very different child all-around. It's not just about getting the screaming to stop. It's about uncovering the great personality underneath the child's pain. Apparently, the child is in a great deal of discomfort because of a tightness affecting some or a lot of her nervous system (so many nerve passages enter/exit through the cranium). So we fix the tightness, alleviate the pain/discomfort, and the child is "free to be me". If you think about it, you would "scream" (or something) a lot if you had a headache 24/7 for 2 years, too.
Anyway, it may not be what you are dealing with, but for us it was a life-changer.