My grand-daughter is going through the TERRIBLE 2's!!, my daughter calls me everynight crying . . that she "just can't take it anymore"!! That my grand-daughter won't listen to ANYTHING!! That mornings are "ok", but by afternoons, the little one won't take naps, destroys the house, her room, and my daughter! She (the grand-daughter) throws fits, screems shouts, tears plants out by the root. When she put in her room she'll intentionally "pee all over the place". And my daughters "fit to be tied". She's tried every "text book method" of discipline. 1) Positive re-inforcement / re-direction. 2) timeouts 3) stop, speak softly, eye contact. 4) firm voice, no mixed messages, and I've suggested (as I'm old school) a pat on the butt!!, Nothing seems to work. By late afternoon, my daughter's in tears, affraid that she's going to hurt the little one. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to survive this "phase"?
I wanted to pop in and say "THANKS SO MUCH" for all of your advise/suggestions/ideas. I've passed them all along to my daughter and son in law. And they are "receiving" the advise with open arms. so ((((((HUGS))))) to all of you. And my sympathy's to those of you that are still going through this "phase" yourselves.
At this point, my daughter and her hubby are teaming up to stay consistent. They're watching the sugar intake, and trying the "healthy food drawer". And as of Friday, it was still a little early to tell. My daughter (a stay at home mom getting ready to go back to school), has taken to giving up on forcing naps. She still puts our two year old in her room, with the door-way "gated", which stops the screaming and waking of the 3 and half month old. So the 2 year old plays quietly without fits. Although the peeing all over is still happening. My daughter will be taking her to the doctors this week to see about UTI's or allergies, and the scarey possibility of autism. My daughter will also be having her thyroid levels checked to see if that possibly needs to be re-adjusted as well. We so appreciate all of your prayers and suggestions throughout this "testy" time. It's always so nice to know that "we're" not alone at these times. That someone is listening, and so many are willing to take the time to help. My daughters dad (who passed away in 1995) and I had attended the "Parenting with Love and Logic" seminars back when my daughter had gone through this stage. Although she didn't seem THIS un-ruley . . and I found it to be a WONDERFUL HELP. To give the choices of "brush your teeth now . . . or "next commercial" . . . "water in a plastic glass / tippy?" "straw or no straw" . . . and it did help . . . I've been passing along that suggestion all along, and have re-visited that suggestion again (thanks). Anyway . . . now that there doesn't seem to be the "power struggle" over who wins at nap time, my daughter didn't feel the need to call me on Thursday and Friday last week in tears. She does still phone, but to share the happier moments, like the two year old singing into a bananna! lol . .(I like those stories soooo much better). So we'll see how today goes. My son-in law is being terrific support on the weekends, with "helping" with the girls, and the house chores, to allow my daughter more "free time" with the girls during the week. And hopefully this will continue, when he comes home from work during the week. Lord knows that being a mommy isn't an 8 hour a day job, with 2 guaranteed 15 minute breaks every 3 hours, or that half hour break to eat a meal without interuption!! Now it's just convincing him that Daddy's still continue to work after their "shifts"! I'll be sure to keep everyone posted on the doctors visit, and the progress of this little family. Thanks so much to all of you that responded and prayed. Many many ((((((HUGS)))))) to all of you!!
Sincerely,
Nana
I read through a lot of the responses, and I didn't really see any in response to the no nap. I'm wondering if she would try and instill a nap time earlier in the day. I'm wondering if she is getting way over tired and exasperating her behavior. Might be one of many things adding to this. I would look into the food thing, and would also advise consistency as being key.
Wow! Poor Mom. I have a 2 1/2 year old. Usually when my daughter starts acting up I know it is for attention and we try to do something that she enjoys, going outside to play, the park, a favorite video. Some form of distraction. If after we try that the behavior doesn't stop then I take away the fun thing that she wants to do. I try to make her understand that we can't do fun things if she doesn't behave. It is reasoning with a two year old which many people will tell you, you are nuts to try but it does seem to work with my daughter. The afternoon is always a hard time. If she still takes naps and takes them in the morning I would try switching to the afthernoon, that might help. Good luck hope she gets some relief.
The book "Making the Terrible Twos Terrific" by John Rosemond gives a ton of practical wisdom. It teaches how to lead as a parent so that children follow. It's worth it's weight in gold, and he is a humorous and entertaining author. You can find it on amazon.com.
Hello - Ahhh the terrible two's. I personally think it's the terrible 3's, so it could get a lot worse before it gets better. You, unfortunately, are not there every day to see how things are going. But it sounds to me like she needs to be consistent, always, everytime.
G-daughter does something naughty. She goes to time out. Every time. If she gets out of time out, she gets put back in, every time. It could take an hour for your g-daughter to get it, but she WILL get it. Mama needs to let her know that there is no room for disobedience. She WILL do what your daughter says, because she is the parent.
Also, by the end of the day your g-daughter can probably sense that your daughter is at the end of her rope. Your G0daughter might not even be that bad, it's just that mama is tired. I know that at about 8:30, I am done being a mama. I deperately need to get my boys to bed by then or I am a bear.
Your daughter needs to konw that it is okay to put herself on time out. It's okay to let the kid scream and cry, while she goes into another room to breath.
Me, I may be a little meaner. But, I would explain to my daughter in the morning time that if she throws a tantrum, pees, or makes huge messes with her toys, then her toys are going bye bye. And DO IT! If she get put into time out and throws her toys everywhere I would walk in, see the mess, and just start picking stuff up and putting them in a large garbage bag.
She is 2, not a newborn. She understands consequences, even if some mama's say she doesn't, she does. My son is two, he knows that if he hits he goes to time out, if he touches the oven it's hot, and that I am the boss. Two is not stupid, and there are a lot of mama's that are okay with "dumbing down" our children. If we expect them to not "get it" then they wont. Expect respect and obendience, and you will get it.
I am not saying two is easy, I am often calling my mother to say how hard my second one is, he runs me ragged. BUT, I decided to have kids and it's my job as his mother to make sure that he is healthy, moral, respectful, and an all around good kid. If that means that I will battle him every single day to listen and respect, then that's what I will do. It is not a battle all the time, he is a lovely child for the most part, but there are times that I need to be the mama.
Your daughter needs to put her foot down, demand good behavior, and have consequences each and every time her daughter is out of line. If she doesn't do it every time then your grand daughter will not understand why sometimes her behavior is okay and soemtimes it's not.
Good luck to her, L.
Can she hire a mother's helper to come in for a couple of hours each afternoon? I placed an ad on Craigslist for one when I had foot surgery and found a wonderful high schooler. I have three kids (a four year old and twin two year olds) and she was an amazing help. Even now that my foot has mostly healed, I've kept her on. It is so wonderful to have a couple of hours where I can get some chores done, take a bath, or even take a nap. My helper will take the kids out for a romp in the backyard, she takes them for walks. They absolutely love having a new person come over to play with them. Your daughter sounds like she just needs to be able to take a step back and get a breather. (And maybe she needs to use some duct tape for the diaper . . . this is the only way to keep one of my twins in his diaper!)
I agree with Peg, it could be post partum depression, which can be serious, but is treatable. I would suggest that she see either her doctor or her child's pediatrician, and the sooner the better. If she's concerned about hurting her child, this needs to be taken seriously.
You didn't mention if she has a partner, but if she does, maybe he/she can provide your daughter with a break in the afternoon. If not, does she have any friends or some sort of support system she can call on in the afternoons when she is feeling so overwhelmed? It's important that she find some way to cope when she is overwhelmed and concerned she is about to hurt her child. If she feels like she's going to hurt her child, then she can always call 911 or go to the nearest hospital and get some help.
Some counseling or parenting classes may be needed as well.
I hope I don't sound judgemental, but if your daughter is using a 'swat on the butt', that may be more harmful than good, especially if your grand daughter is already out of control behaviorally. A swat (or spanking) can make a child even more angry and out of control than they already are. And, if you are concerned your daughter may harm her child, a swat may lead to something even more dangerous and your grand daughter may be seriously harmed. Just something to think about.
I hope this help.
Hey there!
Your daughter is SO lucky to have you as her mother!!
The twos can be rough and some children are more challenging than others. Your granddaughter could be a highly physical or needy child that needs 100% consistency and an unchanging routine to relax into.
The thing that is troubling in your message is that your daughter seems to have told you that she is afraid of hurting her little one.
While almost all mothers have been at the end of their ropes at one time or another, it's NOT normal to feel that way every single day unless (1) the mother needs some sort of intervention - help with ppd, as others have noted, or parenting classes, or (2) the child's behavior is extreme and therefore needs to be evaluated.
Are the granddaughter's verbal skills good? If not, has your daughter tried teaching her daughter some basic sign language?
Your daughter desparately needs a break - daily at this point, if at all possible. If she can't afford a babysitter to come by for 1-2 hours everyday or every other day, could you pay for this for a set amount of time, say for one month?
One last thing, some people believe in swatting a child for behavior and some are completely against it.
Whatever your (and your daughter's) beliefs, EVERYONE agrees that you should NEVER swat a child if you are angry or frustrated. Your daughter is already afraid she will hurt her child, so I would highly recommend that she NOT swat or hit your granddaughter. It's just too risky.
Your daughter may be suffering from ppd or she just may need some good parenting classes and a break here and there. It's hard to say.
I'm glad she has someone like you reach out to - if you can convince her to get checked for ppd, to find some parenting classes and to find some way to get a break, you'll be doing so much for her. Bless you!!
Dcysenky,
The two's are all about independence. Have your daughter sit down with your granddaughter and give her choices. In the morning when getting dressed let her choose between the red shirt or the pink; the jeans or the dress. My kids are 4 1/2 and 16 months (going on 2). Giving them choices, then praising them for whatever choice they make really seems to help both of them.
Don't be afraid of going out of the house with a child dressed in plaid and polka dots. **They** chose their clothes. Encourage them to be proud of their choices.
As hard as it is it's time to start letting go a little and let the little ones stumble a little to find their own footing.
Hope this helps,
Melissa
It sounds more then anything, that your daughter at the very least, needs a break. Perhaps a weekend of help to kick it off? Maybe Nana could come for a 2 nights visit? You'd be able to get an clearer view on what's going on and see what she needs that way, too. Also, it sounds like she probably needs to be taught HOW to take the 5-10 minutes breaks during the day. Put the kids in a safe place (cribs preferably), and walk outside, sit down, and collect one's "ahhh". While tantrums are HARD...she's sounding devastated, and nearly if not completely out of control.
3 questions real quick before I have to dash off to bed, I may update/edit tomorrow:
1) Could she be in Post Partum Depression?
2) Does she have a safe place to keep her daughter (like a crib or a gated room) while she's throwing these tantrums, so that your daughter can take her own "time out"?
3) Has your daughter checked her daughter out with her pediatrician? (We ran afoul of hypoglycemia...without milk constantly available and healthy snacks in his own little drawer...my super happy-lovey-funny-kind little boy turned into a screaming, inconsolable, raging hellion. In point of fact, he still does.) The easy at-home test is to give the child some milk right as one of these tantrums starts coming on and seeing if they vanish in a *poof* "all better now mommy!" kind of way.
Medically speaking, it could be a number of things, hypoglycemia like us, ear infections, etc. But my niece (who also peed all over the house in tantrums, my brother thought it was just spitefulness) was just diagnosed with chronic bladder/urinary tract infections. She finally got verbal enough to tell my SIL "Hot, hot, burn! No time! Not FAIR!!! Burn!" Regardless, it would be a good idea to bring her in to get checked out, and rule out any medical reasons.
I have to run to bed now, so I hope I'm not forgetting something obvious.
Best Wishes
~Z.
God Bless you and your Family.
Sounds like they need education, support and prayer.
I remember when I was pregnant with our 2nd I thought my angel first born had become a monster. Then I got the book "Your 2 year old" and took a parenting class through coop preschool and realized it was not who he was but where he was.
They get incredibly frustrated, especially if they are pre verbal.
My kids needed to have lots of choices, daily outings, exercise and be in charge of some things themselves.
Does your daughter have friends, other Moms, MOPS, church or a coop preschool in her support system?
We all need support, education and help with the challenges of parenting.
Please let her know she is not alone and she needs to reach out for help and support. If she is afraid of striking her child in anger she absolutely needs to get help and support now.
God bless you and your family.
As my Mom in law says this too shall pass.
Blessings on your days,
L.
hello I wasn't able to read all the responces but here is my two cents (hope its helpful and not redundant)
my boy was 3 and a sweet angel. then all of a sudden he was defiant and angry and he would get through his emotions violently. He started hitting us! this is when I know there was something new going on with him. some new input if you will. Becasue he was always a very meek child and never violent and would cra easly if he thought something was hurt or damaged.
he was always a good naper and sleeper but now he wouldn't nap. And it seemed like he had insomnia, he just couldn't calm down untill almost mid night then the next day he would be so tired and crancky that it just exasperated the whole mess.
so I looked at his diet. Becasue there was no other aparent major changes in our lives. his diet was pretty much the same, we eat well and are vegitarians. Then he was given a red mint at a resturant, and as i was keen on seeing what effected him i noticed a notch up in his behaviour and hitting. any way to make a long story short i experiminted with this for a while and thought there was something between is behavior and the red food coloring... i know it sounds way far out.
anyway I had been telling his Nana of all these things that were going on and she couldn't beleve me. i was totaly frustrated and angry. she thought i was over reacting becasue when she would take him on tuesdays and thursdays he was his little angel self......
i told her about my suspicions about red food coloring and she gasped. starting in may she had found two packages of candy canes form Christmas and every tuesday and thursday after nap she would give him a candy cane!!!!!! and he would come home a little monster! and he was suffering that was the most tragic part of the whole thing. he didn't know why he was being such a naughty boy. any way the candy canes stopped and then hitting and bad behavior did to just like that!!!
so see what is in her diet that she may be reacting to. it could be anything. it will take some work but its worth it.
somehow make sure she gets enough sleep (i think it is 11 to 12 hours for a 2 year old.... it may be more)
anyway best of luck, really really check her diet, remember that she is suffering too. she doesn't want to be bad. She is out of control she doesn't know how to gain control.
lots of love to you guys!
She needs a break! Can you send babysitting money or go over for the weekend? Sometimes just recentering helps alot! And even the promise of rest in the future can get her through.
I currently have a 2 1/2 y.o. and a 1 y.o. My son (oldest) has always been very high-energy and we regularly butt heads. It sounds like some of the acting out from your granddaughter is in reaction to the new baby. My best advice is to keep her busy, busy, busy. I put my baby in a front pack or sling and go outside for hours, running my son around. He is not only better behaved but ready to nap, as well. It is harder with the baby, but life is so much easier if I keep my son worn out!
Also, if your grandaughter's not potty trained yet, you can duct tape a pullup or diaper on so she can't get it off at naptime.
One thing that's really helped my son is during my baby's naptimes I do special things with him, either going outside and playing if it's nice out, or snuggling up in "mom and dad's" bed and watching cartoons for a little while, or even packing everybody up for a trip to McDonald's or ice cream. He really seems to thrive on those special times.
Hope that helps a little. I wish your daughter much luck.
i would love to know if you find something that works since my daughter is also just starting this delightful stage in her life.
Hello!
Wow, I am not looking forward to when my son gets to the "terrible 2's!":)
I do not have a two year old but does your granddaughter have a lot of energy and she may need to go outside and run around? Maybe go to a park or find a play group, anything outside the home. She may wear herself down so she could take a nap. If that doesnt help she may want to talk to her Dr for some advice. Good luck!
Hi,
Sounds like she's tried every method anyone would reccomend. The only thing I can think of is that it sounds like her daughter has too much energy, espically if she's not tired enough in the afternoon to take a nap. Maybe she's bored? Maybe just getting into a routine of taking walks, going to the park or just running her around in the back yard will get her worn out enough to atleast give her mama a little break in the afternoon. I know nap time is my savior! (I have a two yr old and a baby too). Sticking with the time outs in the corner (not in her room where she can get into mischief) is probably a good idea too. Tell her good luck and don't worry, the two year old phase will pass eventually.
My husband and i took a class called called terrific twos. The class was offered by silverton together, in oregon. It helped us in understanding our 2 yr old.
Has your daughter thought about logging her diet and the posibilty of something she is eating or drinking causing her to behave this way. When my daughter was about 2 she would have behavior problems in the afternoons. It waS suggested to me to keep track of her diet. We quickly found out that every time she behaved like a wild child she had been given apple juice. Something in it did not agree with her and she became a little monster. No more juice (or certain colored cough medicines) and she was great. This was a while ago and I could not find a Doctor that would agree with me that this could cause this type of problem. It did and we avoided. You never know what might be causing this. Just remember it may be out of her control. GOOD LUCK
I saw some of this with my sister after she had her second. Her older daughter turned into a nightmare. I was living with them, and found 3 things made a huge difference. One was to give her some scheduled, dedicated one on one time every day (hard with a new baby, but maybe dad can take the baby for an hour or so, or be the one who does the one-on-one time). Another was to have a quiet hour after lunch. She didn't have to nap, but it had to be quiet time, reading or resting, not talking or playing. The other thing that made a difference was to give her real food, rather than cereal, for breakfast and lunch. Scrambled eggs and toast, milk, chicken salad sandwich/other high protein lunch.
Good luck!
I'm sorry to have to say, but I would definently start thinking about the possibility that your granddaughter may have one of the autism spectrum disorders. None of my three boys(mostly the two oldest) have ever done anything like this and nor have I ever heard about it. I work with special needs children on a pretty regular basis and this only happens with them when they don't get their way. The only other thing that I can suggest is to have your daughter be very firm and stand her ground with your granddaughter and start making her clean up her messes that she creates and really thinking about what might be setting this behavior off. Is it a certain food that she gives her shortly before she behaves like that or is it that she doesn't sleep long enough(this can be at anytime of the day or night after she's supposed to be down). With her diet, she could have food allergies that your daughter doesn't know about because anybody in this world develops allergies as they get older. One thing is that I know for a fact that once I cut out the unnecessary sugars and anything with ANY of the food dyes(this includes cereals and sodas) that my oldest son had made an improvement in his behavior. This is something that she really needs to get a hold of her Pediatrician for so they can maybe give her some tips and suggestions to work with. My oldest son has an autism spectrum disorder and I tell my pediatrician everything when it comes to his behavior because it coincides with his over all health. And I do this with all of my children. I hope that this has been helpful and I do wish the best of luck with your daughter and with yourself. If it is just the 2's on attack, then I hope they pass quickly.
Dcysensky C,
I have to say those are the most frustrating times. I know one thing that seemed to help was giving her a choice. She has the choice to make it easy or hard. Giving her a choice to cooperate or not and after a while giving them a choice of there own behavior seems to help. Two year olds want control and this gives them a little control when you let them see it is their own choice. My first I was ready to give back at 18 months. I also find that when I get busy and don't spend a little time playing with my children they would get a little unruly in the afternoons. Some days tears will come from both. Somehow we make it through.
S.
SAHM of three girls, 12 1/2, 9 and 5
My heart goes out to your daughter. It is so hard during thise terrible two's. I am sure some of that is just terribel two behavior, but it also sounds like she is vying for mom's attention. Maybe she can find some time to give her 2 yr. old some of her undivided attention, and also just get out of the house and run her down a little....playing at the park etc. Both my girls have been unable to sit still and love to be on the go...all day long, and they really go stir crazy during the cold winter months, and I know how your daughter feels! If she is looking for a mom's group, I am a part of one where we meet at Esther Short Park in downtown Vancouver on Wednesday mornings at 10:30. She is welcome to come meet some other mommies, and get some support, it's really great that have that, especially in her situation! E-mail me is she is interested!
I also think that you have a little more than just terrible two's, along with diet, think about the cleaning products that you use and any chemical exposure your granddaughter might be exposed to. visit www.rmbarry.com and look at their research papers about behavior and common house hold chemicals.
I have read some of the responses and I hope one of them helps.
Please keep us informed of the situation as you and your family are in our prayers.
Wow, her behavior does not sound like normal terrible 2 behavior. Either this granddaughter is overactive (perhaps from allergies or other medical problems) or your daughter needs help learning techniques to help her daughter behave. Since she's done all the text book suggestions. I think it might be time to hire a parenting consultant or a counselor to help sort out where the problem is.
I am a big fan of the Love and Logic parenting series by Jim Fay and Dr. Charles Fay. Their methods work, and are a great tool for anyone to use in their relationships with others. Check out the website at www.loveandlogic.com Good luck.
I think your dear grand daughter NEEDS to take a nap. No exceptions. I believe that many or most behavioral issues with kids are that they are tired. They can not say, on momma, I'm tired, etc. and they just act out and get naughty. My son does the same thing and he's almost 4. I *make* him nap every day, or almost every day. It's the only way to keep peace and sanity, other wise, he's naughty.
So, your daughter needs to try and put her down earlier for her nap. I think she might be so overly tired that she's refusing or playing around. Set the rules and enforce it. Tell her that she has to nap or she'll lose a priveledge, whatever she likes to do in the afternoon or something your daughter determines. I always coax my son by saying, after your nap, we'll do this and if you don't nap, then we wont get to do it. It might be go to the park or have a popsiscle or whatever, but I put something in it that he wont get and it always works. If he is having a hard time falling asleep and he's making noise in his room, I go in there and tell him again and tell him he needs to go to sleep, etc.
The other thing that causes naughty behavior in kids is being hungry. I don't know if this could be the case with your dear grand daughter or not but I know my son always wants to play that he wont eat and then finds himself starving and acting naughty. Always offer food when she is acting naughty...she might be hungry.
The only two times when my son acts out is when he is either hungry or tired. I've had days where your daughter is right now. She just needs to get control of the situation and enforce the *rules*. Let dear grand daughter know that everyone naps and that is the new household rule and she will lose priveledges if she doesn't.
Don't forget that all behaviors are short lived. I too sometimes have a bad day or a few bad days in a row and I tell my husband I'm looking of for a job and going back to work. Just as soon as the behavior started, it's gone and my son is back to normal and I forget all about going back to work.
You sound like a great grandma trying to help your daughter out. Good luck to all three of you.
My son is 17 and a half months, so I'm not quite there yet and can't give disciplinary advice. However, I do know what it's like to live a ways away from your parents (my mom is three thousand miles away) and it sounds to me like your daughter could use a break. If it's not impossible, perhaps she could book her daughter into part-time daycare. I went through a period of being fit-to-be-tied not long ago as my son went through separation anxiety for about four months and I couldn't put him down most days or if I could, I had to be looking in his direction. He also wasn't sleeping through the night and not napping well, etc. But once I put him in daycare twice a week, I then had the energy to deal with it all and dare I say it, things are going much, much better now. I feel like I have quality time for myself, my husband and quality time for my son. It bites into our finances, but I couldn't think of a better way to spend our money than for our sanity.
Best of luck to your daughter and may her daughter turn three soon!
It sounds like your daughter needs counseling or perhaps even medical attention – fast. Something is seriously wrong. (You have probably guessed this is true, or you wouldn't be writing.)
Some kids are more difficult than others, and your granddaughter may need some kind of professional intervention, too. But your daughter's reactions are not good parenting, and are certainly making the situation worse.
Please help her see that she needs help – maybe some good solid sleep would give her a boost, but it could be something far more serious, like depression. Parents in this state can and do harm their children.
I'm glad you are there for your daughter. Based on your description, she has lost all perspective and needs you to shepherd her in a healthier direction. Blessings to you all.
I like some of the suggestions and I feel for her terribly. A week after I was pregnant I quit my depression medication and haven't gone back. My son is almost 21 mos and I have felt like her before. She needs sleep, sun and her house cleaned a bit. What I mean is we're all getting a lot of rain and high gas prices plus, with teething it's hard to sleep. What works for me is to one have some time off. Plus, if my routine is going fine then I feel better and can take the hard times. When I get behind because my son needs me more than the house/chores then I start getting overwhelmed and I reach out by talking louder/crying, etc. Reassure her that she's doing well and this too will pass. Let her daughter make more choices and mistakes and even if it's sprinkling get her out of the house. Even mommy things will help. Go get a hair cut go grocery shopping and go to garage sales for cheap things to entertain her. An old connect four game is ahead of their time but they play with it anyway. Show her some bugs and flowers and take her to a creek and each drop a toothpick or stick to see which one gets to that spot first. Take long baths with the 2 yr old and get out while she plays and you can hang out in the bathroom getting dressed/lotion or other mommy time things. Put her in her crib with books and have mommy time is solace. Have her paint her nails and not touch anything for 30 min. while baby is safe in her crib. Get someone to watch her so she can nap. If the crying lasts 2 weeks and she starts getting numb then it's time to check for depression but I swear by adding new coping skills. Treating myself first on one day. Getting outside, going for walks, anything that works for her. I need to start taking vitamins I heard so I'll try that. Wish her good luck and tell her she's not the only one.
I've tried some of the ideas "The Nanny" uses, and it seems to work. Also, make sure you give your daughter some time off. It may be that she's burned out. Maybe she needs a couple of days to regroup.
The question I have is this: Is Dad supporting her? My husband has tended to contradict my teaching, thereby nullifying any teaching I was doing. Is that happening in the home?
Maybe Mom isn's spending enough time with daughter. I noticed my kids get unruly every time I don't spend enough time with them. I work full time in the house, so it's easy to get my priorities mixed up. For each child, enough time is different. Even the older chidren get unruly when they haven't had enough mommy-time. That means one-on-one attention, where mommy talks and interacts with the 2-year-old and builds a fun relationship - this probably needs to start in the park where nothing can be destroyed. Play games, read, to her. Forget the other stuff such as housework for a while. This alone makes a HUGE difference. That also means no talking on cell phones or texting when with daughter. In our computer frantic age, we have a tendency to multi-task. That often doesn't work with a 2-year old.
Em who responded to you has a great point. Red food coloring actually comes from ground-up beetles (I don't remember what they're called) which are an allergen for a LOT of people, and can really set kids off. I would also beware of fast food, sugar, baked goods with high fructose corn syrop, genetically modified foods (almost all corn and soy is GMO) which can trigger anxiety-and stress related responses and mess wtih the adrenal system. Kids are particularly vulnerable to these things. I would also stay away from chemicals and preservatives in food and DEFINITELY NO air fresheners which are neurotoxic. Which by the way was just discovered by the news, but has been common knowledge among the naturopathic community for years.
OTHER MAMA'S - I think you misread - I think she means her daughter is afraid the TWO YEAR old will hurt the little one because she is so out of control...at least that is how I read it.
I don't have anything to add that hasn't been said already, just my reaffirmation that nap time is KEY! My daughter is also in terrible two's stage, although not anywhere near what your daughter is going through. When I miss her tired window, and she gets over-tired, it can take two hours for her to get back to a place where she will sleep - and she is tantrum prone to say the least during that time. If she hits this phase, she is good about staying in her bed and then playing alone until she does drop off. But, this is because we trained her pretty early on to put herself to sleep (Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution). So nap time needs to be when she starts to seem tired and act out, no exceptions (which must be hard with another baby to deal with I'm sure).
If she is already in a toddler bed change her back to a crib so she HAS to stay there when told (this might also help with the wanting to be the baby issue). If she pees, at least it will be easy to clean up, and most kids don't want to sit in it so that may become less appealing more quickly.
Good luck,
K.
