She Never Sleeps!!! HELP!!!

Same thing with my 3 yo son. Here's what I've done that works for us- I put a little bed next to his bed on the floor. It's one of those chairs that folds out into a bed, it's made of foam. Anyway, I lay on that and tell him its time to be quiet and still until we go to sleep. He can't get up and into anything because he knows I'm right there. Eventually he falls asleep. Sometimes I do, too, but then when I wake up I just walk back into my room and get into my bed.

Hi J.,

Have you tried exercise? My daughters are really hyper, so for bedtime we would have dinner then baths and then they get to run. Its either up and down the stairs or around in circles. They counted as they did it so it was a learning experience but most importantly the slept. My oldest would then sit to watch tv for 30 min and go to sleep. She never took naps, even as a baby. My second did storytime after then bed but that was even difficult because she was the most hyper of all of them. We would give her something heavy to eat with a warm drink after her run. She also didn't nap and has never been a long sleeper. My youngest daughter now has it down but in summer she is more difficult. Thankfully my son is a sleeper. I used to tell my girls that they had to close there eyes and think about what they wanted to do tomorrow or there favorite place they might want to visit so they can dream about it. Sometimes I just went with if you don't go to sleep you can't wake up to play some more.

Good luck.

I have a daughter who turned 3 in October who was having a difficult time going to sleep. When we would lay her down for bed, she would still be up 2 hours later reading, playing, etc... in her room. So, here is what we are doing for her and it has worked for two weeks now. We when out and bought a little lamp that sits on her night stand as well as a kitchen timer (the dial kind that ticks - not a digital one). Once we have taken our bath and I (or my husband) read a book(s) to her then she gets to go and pick out 5 books (you can decide on the number). She gets to turn on her light and I set the timer for 15 minutes (once again, you decide on the time). She gets to read her 5 books until the timer goes off. When the timer goes off, she knows that she has to put her books back on the bookshelf, hits the play button on her CD player and turns out her light. The consequence for getting out of bed once the lights are out, is that she looses a princess movie (which is what she LOVES to do right now) or no special treats (which she also enjoys) the next day. Out of 14 days, last night she got out of her bed and turned on the hallway light. So, today she doesn't get a special treat for a snack or after mealtimes. She has already asked for one and I had to say no and remind her why she isn't allowed to have a special treat. My pediatrician also told me to take any toys out of her room so that she can't get out of bed and play with them. All she has in her room right now is a bookshelf full of books. It would be worth a try. My daughter loves the fact that she is in control - she gets to turn her light on and off (and yes, we talked about not touching the lightbulb because it is VERY HOT!). Good luck!

A friend of mine has a son going through the same thing. She has started a reward program with him. he has to earn ten stickers before he can have a train or something along those lines. Might want to try that and see if that will help her get through this. She said it worked for him.

Hey J.,
I never really had a bad prob w/ my son who is 3 going to sleep and/or my daughter (1 yrs old). I did have a prob when my son didn't seem to exhausted to go to bed. I know with it being cold out there is alot of cabin fever goin on. I have this Shania Twain dvd.. lol that he dances to all morning and sometimes at night to burn energy. But I still think a 3 yr old should have a little nap during the day about 1 1/2 - 2 hours at the most. I put my son down at 1 in the afternoon even though he gets up at 7:30 a.m. For the most part if he keeps getting up from nap I just give up the fight obviously he's not tired enough. I never let him sleep past 3-3:30 otherwise he's a prob to put to bed as far as going at 9:30-10 at night. I did go through a stage however he kept getting out of bed and i would put him back in and then he would do it again.. finally ya know enough is enough ur the mommy!! I would be very stearn as say 'Juan it IS time for bed.. i don't want u to get out again and if you do ur gonna get a spankin' 99% of the time i didn't have to worry about him getting back out except for the time he would test me to see if i was for real or not. He also sleeps with his sister and so help me God and that point i didn't care if she got up or not. Most of the time b/c it was in her 1st hour of sleep she wouldn't hear my son cry if i had to lay down the law!! lol but once ur kids know ur serious they usually don't push it too much. Maybe a little tap on ur daughters behind is what it may take. U need ur rest and they're just seeing what they can get away with. If ur persistant and have back up from ur husband than u should come out victoriously in this battle!! I wish you the best of luck, hang in there and just be persistant.. if that little bugger knows that they can win or you'll give up it'll just get worst as they get older. Good Luck!!
M.

It's nice to know I am not the only one going through this. HA! My daughter (who is 4 today!)has not been going to bed for us for about a month now. She used to put herself to bed some nights!! So, we have chalked it up to a "phase." Some things we have tried along with the walking her back to bed..(NOT OUR BED!!)We put her sleeping bag on the floor in our room. If she gets up, she is to lay down there. Also, she just got a kid camera w/ a couple of games on it for her birthday. Last night, she played with that in her bed and it worked like a charm. She came in asked me to fix something with it. I told her she needed to go to bed and she did!! Gave me the camera too! We'll see how long it lasts but she does know (eventhough she has tried) she is NOT sleeping in our bed! Oh yeah, we also just put some music in her room..it hasn't worked real well but she will occasionally listen to it. I keep telling myself..it will pass eventually!

I can totally relate! My 3.5yo son always gave me hard time when it came to sleep ever since he was a newborn. The crib is what was saving my life, but ever since he's been out of it before 2, I strugged.

We always co-slept from the start. It's not a bad habit - if it makes your life easier, then do it! Read a lot on pros of co-sleeping, and you might change your mind.

My son doesn't take naps anymore, and if he does, he'll be up until 11pm-midnight. So he's tired by 6:30pm, which is his bedtime... except I take him for a car ride. I've been doing this for over a year now. DH and I simply stopped fighting him.

Nothing worked. Sticker chart, Supernanny, bedtime routine, tiring him out, "locking" him in his room (I stood outside the door to hold the door shut). He would scream and bang his head on the door/wall when we did that. He would just get too worked up, so we gave up this fight. What used to work for a while is laying down and watching TV on the couch in the dark. But as the day started getting longer, it stopped working.

Previous posters mentioned chamomile tea and melatonin. I've tried the tea too. I think melatonin will be useless because he's tired - he just hates going to sleep.

I think some kids can't shut off their minds to go to sleep, or they might miss something fun and important. You can't really fight it. They'll be the same way when they become adults (I'm sure my son got it from my hubby).

Good luck, and LMK if you find a solution!

My one piece of advice is to put a gate up in the hall so that she can only get to maybe your room and hers if that works, or at least put up a gate to keep her away from the kitchen and family room. And make sure you have child proof door handles on your outside doors just in case.

Try thinking of something very special that your daughter would really enjoy doing the next day. Then tell her, "You have to get plenty of rest so you can do this with me tomorrow". It could be making cookies, going to the park or the library, or simply eating marshmallows together while you watch Sesame Street! Let her know that, if she gets out of bed, she will not get to do that special thing with mommy.

Try to examine why she doesn't sleep. Is she simply not sleepy? Is it a separation issue? Maybe she just needs a "calming" ritual to gear down for the night: a warm bath with lavendar, soothing music, a night-time book, prayers, a back rub while she lies in bed, etc. My 7-year-old likes me to run my fingers through his hair while he lies in bed just before he drifts off to sleep. My 3-year-old loves for me to say prayers with him and give him "tickle kisses" on his neck before he goes to sleep. How about a bedtime buddy (favorite teddy bear, etc.)? Tell her that Teddy needs her to lie down with him because he can't sleep without her and he is really tired? That's what I tell my youngest to get him in bed at naptime. He wants to help his friend, so he goes to bed.

I agree, don't allow her to sleep with you. I still battle over that with my first child. He climbs into my bed 2 or 3 nights a week (it's getting better). My second child has no problem sleeping in his own bed!

J.,

Some people just need less sleep than others.

Your husband's solution is actually a good one. Does your daughter go to sleep when you all go to bed? There are many human societies today where there is still a family bed, and when the family is in it, they are expected to sleep. If this works for her to go to sleep, you could always transfer her to her own bed if you are still awake. After she gets a little older, she can read in her own bed until she goes to sleep. Sounds like you sleep less than your husband already, so either through habit, choice, or need, you are having a night similar to your daughter. I'd just roll with what works for a while, and in a short time, you will be able to look back on this and laugh.

Best wishes,
K.

I have those glow in dark stars all over his room, then he gets about 5/6 books a night, milk, and I turn around and pretend to sleep. At lights out he gazes at the stars. He is 2 and roams the house often leaving us. It' a pain, but it won't be forever, do what works for you.

You haven't said what kind of bedtime routine you have or what kind of activities your little one is involved in during the day.

I'm having a similliar problem with my 5 year old. We have had a communal bed, they would crawl into bed in the middle of the night, with all of our little ones (4 girls ages 17,12,7&5) until they were about 5 years old. Our youngest is being difficult about breaking the habit.

I have found that she sleeps better if she has a cup of warm milk before she brushes her teeth. So we have included this into our nightly routine. Also more physical activity during the day and a warm bath early in the evening and no playing before bedtime. Soothing music may help. Reading stories and singing lullabyes...I know tried but true. One more thing...you haven't mentioned what time bedtime is?

Little about me...40 year old part time stay at home mom. I work nights a few nights a week so that I can be home with my girls when they need me.
L. M

J.,
I feel your fustration. Our 2 year old son is the same way. He never wants to go to bed before 2 am. We've also tried to elimate his naps and that doesn't seem to work either. For us the best thing to do is to lay down with him in his bed until he falls asleep. We also put a baby gate up in his doorway, that way he realizes he's not allowed to wonder or get out to go play with stuff. Once there's no more temptations he gets into bed and falls asleep.

I had the same problem with my daughter at that age. I found that fixing camimeal(check spelling) tea with honey and giving my daughter half of the tea and mixing with half water or milk it seems to help my daughter fall asleep. It seems to help my daughter and my son to relax and fall asleep more easly.

Good luck this phase will end soon.

I know exactley where you are coming from.
My son does the same thing since he was around 1 1/2

I just wrote on here a while back about the same thing ,
My sons doctor told me to remove all his toys, anything he could play with to keep him entertained,close the door on his room and take him in read him a story, tell him how much you love them and tell them it is bed timeand that everyone else is going top bed and then leave and close the door.

(my son kept coming out of his room so the doctor suggested a lock on the door. after several crying nights he finally settled down and slep he had nothing in his room to keep him content so he grew board and slept .

EXCEPT I still have problems with him waking up in the middle of the night and playing with nothing or just looking out his window he will call and I will ignore him
(you can tell by the way they call you whether it is important or not)
I tried several things on here from tea's to meltone medicine, the meltone would let him go to sleeo but with in hours he would be awake again. nothing worked the doctor reasured me the melentone will only make them fall alsleep not stay alsleep . so in the long run his doctor told me some children do not require a lot of sleep (LORD HELPS US ) so as long as they are in there room and safe leave them there.

They will fall alsleep when the get board enough. Good luck I know what you are going through,

Sleeping with your child is not at all a bad idea. I slept with all of my children (I have 5) and I am proud to say that with my 10 grandchildren, none of my children have purchased a crib and all sleep with their children. We are the only culture that does not sleep with our children. Consider reading a book called The Family Bed by Tine Thevenin. Your child is little for such a short time and needs you at night. You also need your sleep. She will NOT sleep with you forever, your sex life will not be altered (surely you can be a little creative), and she is not developing bad habits. If you baby a baby while she is a baby, you won't have to baby her when she is grown. SuperNanny does NOT know everything. None of my children sleep with me now. Soon yours won't either. Happy parenting.

my husband and I have been attending a "Love and Logic" parenting class, this class helps us learn how to teach our child the consequences of their choices,in a loving way that will help them be responsible adults. They say if your child won't go to bed at night you might just need to change things around a bit, use different wording. The example I am going to give may work better on older kids, but here it is. Instead of bedtime it's "bedroom time" they don't have to go to sleep, they just have to stay in their room, they can read, play quietly, leave the light on or off, listen to music softly, as long as they don't bother anyone else. They can stay up all night if they want to. "But remember tomorrow you have to get up at 7am to go to school or the zoo" etc. They will quickly learn that it's not that fun to miss out on things if they are to tired or be late and miss something special, and you don't even have to remind them, they truely figure it out etc...It worked great on my 9 year old the other day, he was throwing a huge fit about not wanting to go to bed until I said "yes" to something, and I just said that's fine you can stay up all night if you'd like, you just have to stay in your room and you can't disturb anyone else. 30 mintues later he came out and said, but I'm tired, I want to go to sleep. I said that's fine you don't have to stay up all night that's your choice.

Another book I heard is great, is by Dr. Sears "The Sleep Book". I have some of his other books and LOVE him.

why not jsut put her to bed and put a baby ate up in front of her door so she can't get out of her room.