Sharing a Room - San Ramon,CA

I would never put a baby in the same room with a 2 year old. At that age they do not know what they are doing. He can throw toys into the crib or clothes, poke her eyes, shove something in her nose or mouth. He doesn't quite realize she is not a toy. You already said he climbed into her crib. He could sit on her body or face and smother her. I would wait at least another year or more if you see he isn't careful and responsible around his sister.

I think the tent would help. The zipper is pretty high up, I don't think the 2 year old could get in. Good luck!

C.

Hi Jen. I have a 3 1/2 & 1 1/2 yr. old. My son used to jump in the crib when the baby was a couple of mos. old. If your son is still doing that I would be hesitant to have the kids share a room at this time. Safety is a problem right now. I would suggest putting the baby in your step son's room and just explain to him it's just until your 2yr old learns not to jump into the crib. As for their sleeping problems, sounds like you're doing better than me!! Good luck!

You should probably have the boys sharing a room and the baby in her own room. It would be easier for you in the long run (in my opinion anyhow) :)

Hi there,

I too have a 6 month old daughter and a 2 year old that share a room. I was reluctant at first and a little worried about putting the girls together. My 2 year old is still in her crib and I am not in a rush to move her to a big girl bed. I think the best way to put them down is at the same time.. At 7:00 we feed our 6 month old then at 7:30 we lay her in her bed while we read stories
(10-15 min) to our 2 year old followed by singing songs together. Then it is lights out. Both girls do great and go down with out a fuss. I also had considered the crib tent but with my surprise my older daughter has done quite well, of course she still is in her crib so I think that makes a difference. In regards to toys in the room, my daughters are limited to stuffed animals because there room is so small we have all their toys in the living room. I have also taught my older 2 children( I have a 4 year old son also) that the babies bed is off limits. When the baby is in her bed that is her space and they need to respect her space. Well hope that helps....

I have a crib in my room as well as the shard room. I get both children asleep in separate rooms. Then when the kids are good and asleep and it is time for my bedtime I move the little one over to the shared room. Works great for us. Good luck.

Hi Jen

as much as you are ready it does not seam like your family is i would keep her with you until your two year old learns to not climb in with her or you fend a good type of extra railing for her crib.

i dont think it is really fair that your 11 year old step son would need to share his own room he does need his own space at his age and moving forward pulse he already has to share Dad that i could see that creating some resentment and just more problems.

best of luck

You could put a crib tent on the crib.

Dear Jen,
It sounds as though you may want to put off moving you baby to share the bedroom if you have that much worry involved your never going to sleep and you will be stressed keep her where she is for now and deal with it in a few months. Thats what I would do (mother of four)

Hi Jen!

It sounds like your sleeping arrangements are not quite ready to change yet. I agree with your 11 yr old having his own space for SO MANY reasons other than his age, most importantly because he's your "stepson" in this growing 2nd family of your husbands. It doesn't sound like your 2 yr old son is ready to share a room either....safely anyway :O)

After your daughter goes down, you may have to "work on" your son's routine to sleep through the night. If you can be successful at that, then perhaps it will be time to move in your daughter with him. Right now, NOBODY will get any sleep if they share a room, especially you.

I think you should work on "perfecting" what you do have first. Then consider changing.

Good luck!

:o) N.

Hi Jen,
This sounds like it could be a tragedy waiting to happen. If you put your tiny baby in with your 2 year old who has no idea how to care for this baby (your own words - he is 2 years old and forgets) something bad could happen and it would not be his fault. If that came to pass you would never forgive yourself or forget it. You can keep the baby in your room for another year or so. Or, if the 11 year old has to share a room for a few years so be it, to protect your baby. And protecting your children is your first priority. Try to make a special place for the 11 year old to hang out with his friends. Maybe the garage or patio. Also, please let your 11 yr. old know how much his help is needed right now to protect the baby and be a role model to your 2 yr. old. If the 2 yr. old keeps him up at night then change the 2 yr. old's behavior by parenting him. Every child no matter what age needs to learn boundaries. I do hope this helps.
Patti

Hi I think your 11 year old step son should just have to adjust. It would be for your daughters safety and everyones sleep. Plus your 2 year old will learn better sleeping manners from him.

Hi Jen,

I had the same fears as you, so when it was time to move my son out of our room, we set him up in a temporary pac-n-play in the office. I left him there until I felt he was strong enough to throw off a blanket or stuffed animal or whatever else his brother might try to "give" him. I think that he was about 6-months old when he finally moved into his room with his brother. Fortunately, everything turned out ok, but I was still worried. I talked to my older son (he was 2) a lot about how he couldn't put things in his little brothers crib, and that seemed to help. The few times that I did find that he put something in the crib, I would take whatever it was away. He finally got the point and didn't put things in anymore.

To keep him out of her crib get 3 sheets of plexy-glass cut to the same size as the front and sides of the crib. Having the plexy attached to the outside of the crib will make it so that there isn’t anyplace for him to grab on to, to pull himself up and into the crib. You can attach them either with screws, or (if you don’t want to damage your crib) with zip-ties. You’ll want to make sure you trim the zip-ties short and use a nail file to get rid of any sharp corners after they’re cut. The best part is that you can give your son crayons or dry erase markers and he can draw pictures on the plexy for his sister.

As for the waking in the middle of the night thing. I don’t know what to say but I’d love to hear what works.

Any chance you could keep the baby in your room a little longer? I am concerned about sharing with a 2 year old especially given his sleeping patterns. When I was a baby my 2 year old brother used to throw toys and pillows in my crib while I was sleeping. Fortunately I didn't suffocate but my mom had many scares digging me out of the crib. It's normal for a young 2 year old to do things like that. If your 2 year old is closer to 3 he shouldn't be doing things like that anymore (or for much longer).

To answer your question about how to get them to sleep in the same room:

1) You could just put them both in there at 7:30 and let them work it out. Chances are your 2 year old will keep your baby up and then she will have bad sleep habits too.

2) You could help him develop better sleep habits by using some sort of reward system. I'm thinking like a sticker chart or something simple like that. Get him to the point where he goes to sleep quietly and quickly before moving your baby in there. If it sticker chart doesn't work just start putting him to bed earlier so that he's asleep by the time the baby goes to bed. My daughter went to bed at 7:30 until she was 10 years old and then she earned an 8:00 bedtime by going to sleep well and waking up with a good attitude.

I don't blame your 11 year old for wanting his own space. It would be better for the baby to have her own space but not at the expense of your 11 year old having to share with such a young child. He needs his own space, especially at this sensitive time when his body is changing.

I'm in a little bit of the same boat with a baby boy on the way and a 10 year old girl. The baby will room with me for awhile until we can figure something else out (like moving or converting the loft into another bedroom).

I hope all goes well!

I don't know but it really sounds like you should be putting the 2 yr old and the 11yr old together you will have to do it eventually with a boy and girl in the same room anyways. Past a certain age (3 or 4) is not legally allowed. The boys should be put together. The 11 yrs old may not like it but it's better for the infant that to have the 2 year old with the baby and worry about her safety. It's not wise as a mother to have the 2 year old with the baby if you are already worried now. Children get silent when they're doing something they aren't suppose to......you will nevcr know if her hurt or smothers the baby until tooo late.