Sexual Nature in Toddlers

Oh what fun! She has discovered something that FEELS GOOD to her. Since a 2yo has no filter, they need gentle reminders that this is indeed private. She will understand soon enough.

My 20 month old son has his hand in his diaper half the day - I swear! I just tell him "get your hand out of your pants" and he does. I figure I would tell him to get his finger out of his nose, so this is the same thing. Personally, I think we worry too much about scarring kids with this issue. She has no idea what doing this in private means, and the explanation is too far over her head. I'd treat it as a behavior/discipline thing and go from there.

She could be ready to potty train and that is why she is taking off her diaper too.

TMI for most...

As horrified as people are by this, it IS natural. The best you can do is tell her each time that if she needs to "do that", then she needs to go to her room for privacy. My daughter and son have done the same thing. They were with me 24/7, as well, and they were never molested. The pediatrician said to do what I just told you. It took a while, but it finally worked with my daughter. My son is a different story: he uses a bear to "hump" on. He is 7 and I still have to remind him to go to his room. He doesn't do it as often though, just when he's ready for sleeping. Somehow, he IS able to keep from doing it at friends' and relatives' homes :-} Bear with it, it will eventually be "kept private".

Yeah, it i normal the same nerves that are in you are in her, just not as well developed. Pretty much all kids discover themselves, with my son when he does it we take him to his room and say it's ok but only in here and by yourself, mostly close the door and walk away. This is a part of thier body that they are confused about lots of things happen down there where they cant really see so all they can do really is touch. No worries, just show her where it is safe, just like how you would teach her to potty on the toilet and eat at the table.

There is a normal amount of discovery, and then there is a line where it is too much, where the child replaces that act with self-soothing, comfort... children need to learn to have those feelings in other ways.

Dr. Sears is a childhood expert and explains all of this and what you can do very well here:

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az9.asp

When my sons do this, we just tell them it's yucky to play with where their pee pee comes out, then ask them to go wash their hands, and distract them with playing games and other things.

That is a part of a child discovering herself. Please it is nothing to be concern with just if you see them doing just tell them to stop. I have 4 children three girls and one boy and they all doing it.

Dear Shauna-

I agree with the suggestions you have received from the other mom's here...re direct...tell them it's private...No judgement.

You will know that it 'worked'...when she is a teenager...and you walk in and she says, "Mom...this is private!!" lol

Michele/cat
*currently have 5 teens...and a 20 and 21 year old...and I have learned to KNOCK!!! lol

I address it more as "bad manners" than a sexual thing. You don't want your child to feel "dirty".
Just tell her to stop, keep her clothes on, a gentle "No, no. Yucky." like if she were picking her nose.
I don't encourage my children to go do it in private. To me that promotes secrecy, and I don't want them to think that masturbation later in life is okay. (I know some moms will disagree with me on that, but that's my belief. Masturbation promotes lust and can lead to pornography, sexual gratification comes with marriage.) At 2 they aren't masturbating of course.

Don't freak, it's normal and natural. I don't believe it's a sin - that's just how I feel. I do believe it's private, and I'm trying to teach my son the same thing - he really "discovered" himself around 3. If you talk to a daycare person, they'll tell you ALL kids do this. It's just another part of their body that WE put a bunch of hang-ups on.

Don't "explain" to her in an involved way. When you notice in public, just move her hand gently and tell her that private areas are private and not for touching in public, and give her something else to do. You're going to have to repeat it A LOT before she gets it, but it'll work. It just takes time.

My son started putting his hand down his diaper early on, so we put him in a onesie and he stoped except for during his bath. He recently started again (he's 3)and I tell him he can only touch during bath time and it seems to work, we just need to keep reminding him. Its completely normal, you just need to find the words to use so that it makes sense to them and they listen to it. What works for some might not work for yours :0)

Finding your privates is natural. Every child does at some point. I wouldn't direct her to do it in private. I would just redirect her and tell her that those are very special and we don't play with them. The problem with allowing it to go on is that she only understands that it feels good and not that there is a time when that act will be between another person. It take s the focus away from an intimate act between another person and makes it all about just pleasuring ones self. Which could be a problem come teen years when hormones are raging to begin with. For right now all she needs to know is that those parts are special and they are not toys to be played with.

I just say to my kids (like one previous poster said), 'will you get your hands out of your pants please...'

How would you like to be spoken to and treat her with the same respect.

when she is getting inot it or doing whatever she does you need to take her to her room and tell her when shes done she can come out. Its not that hard you are her mother teach her right from wrong