Setting up Separation and Custody When the Other Partner Doesn't Want Either?

Dear A.,

I think that you need to go for counseling along with your husband, maybe he will go if he sees that it might save the marriage, which it seems to me that he does want to do. In the counseling will come the decision about what to do with your family set up. He will cooperate more, either with the separation, or with his committment to the marriage. Did I say that right?

Anyway, forcing is not the way to come to a healthy agreement on something this serious. You get the drift? If you think that being a parent is difficult, wait until you are a single parent and working full time, and dealing with your child going back and forth and organizing his Christmases and Thanksgivings and birthdays, and visits to grandparents - who love their grandchildren with a zeal that will surprise you when you are one. Then there is Jr. High, High School which are scary times for parents. It is not a pretty or easy life that you are concocting for yourself and your son - give it a lot more thought. I know that this sounds mean, but I am very serious and know lots more about stuff like this than you do. I have lived 44 more years than you have, and believe me, I have LIVED through a LOT. Please, only do some deep thinking and praying.

Good Luck, C. N.

I had gone through the same problem when my husband and I separated. Since you both have rights, your husband cannot stop you from taking your son out of the home. Please keep in mind to stay in the area with your son. If you cross state lines, then he can call the police and have you arrested for kidnappping. My suggestion to you is to go to the family courthouse and file for your separation and custody of your son. This will get you into mediation within a month or two. We now share joint custody of our son and it is working out well for us. Just do what is best for your son. Good luck.

Hi A.,
#1 I would consult with an attorney!
Most attorneys will offer a free consultation. You can go and ask some questions and get some advice.
I work for a family law attorney, if you were in our area I would get you an appointment, but your profile says you are in Cotati, CA and that is out of my bosses area of service.
Your husband can not tell you what to do, the courts can help you set up visitation/living schedule to best benefit your son. You can also check with your local Superior Court, most of them have self help facilities.
Best of luck!

1. go to family law get seperation papers and custody papers. file for full/phsycical custody that gives you full rights and the child stays with you. In the seperation papers state you want amove out order and he will have to move out. Also if you guys dont have anything in place and he calls the police the police will not do anything cuz there is no papers but if he gets yer son than same goes he wont have to give your son back either. So I suggest you file papers and soon. Make sure on papers you include support and times and places and days of visitation cuz if police are called because of visitation they are gonna want to see this on the papers I hope this helps. Trust me Ive been going through this for years with my daughter her dad and the police. It sucks.If you go to the pro per clinic they will help you for free(in the court house) also ask for afee waiver.good luck

Get a lawyer and get some good advice. You can leave and take him too as you have just as much rights as he does. Both of you can "call the police" so to speak, but the bottom line is you aren't doing anything illegal. Again, get REAL legal advice from a divorce lawyer.

from what i know (which aint much) is to file and fill out the form. the form asks question as to who would be the primary parent and move out order for the huzband. go to family law. it cost around $25 for a 1 hr. counciltation i believe. good luck.

I do not know what your situation is, but the most important thing is your child. It sounds like a tug-of-war is already in the making. I would definitely recommend looking into some marriage counseling and seek the advice of an attorney.