Sepperating

It is better to parent seperately than together if all you do is fight. No matter what, those children have his DNA and he has to pay child support...it doesn't matter if you kicked him out or not. They don't let him get off like that. You should be able to get help with that for low cost or free...don't let him tell you anything different.

Call your local child support recovery unit. They will get the ball rolling for you. It costs $25 a year if you do not recieve any sate assistance. If you recieve food stamps or medicaid, the service is free. They will order paternity testing, and analyse both of your incomes and come up with a fair amount for him to pay child support. They will also collect it by taking his support payments directly from his paychecks. Call them Monday!
Go to www.getchildsupporthelp.com or call (877) 770-7500. (this one has a fee if they recover)
Your children are entitled to that support!
Here is the State of Florida's link http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/
Please do it for your children! It will help you make ends meet, and keep your house for them to live in!

So you didn't think your relationship was strong enough for marraige but it was strong enough to have two kids?? That is just wrong thinking right there! But it is said and done....
At this point what he wants isn't up to him anymore. You NEED to get a lawyer and figure out the details of support.
He MUST pay you for child support and you also do have to allow him to see his kids, but the court can best figure that out and make it legal.
He can play all the mind games he wants and even get you to take him back, but it doesn't sound healthy to me at all. You don't want your kids thinking this is a normal way to live!
You sound like you can make it on your own, so do so, but make sure you follow the legal route to get it done.

If they're his children, he should be paying child support. I would get a lawyer, and take him to court, make it official. Otherwise he'll keep trying to emotionally blackmail you into getting back together. It would be much better for your children to see 2 happy parents separately than two miserable parents together.

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You can get a provisional/emergency child support order the DAY you ask him to leave. A permanent one will be set up later. But his kids = his checkbook. He is responsible for helping to pay for their care and raising.

Same token, I would strongly recommend getting a court ordered custody arrangement pronto. OTW, he would be within his rights to put the kids on a plane and take them to Timbuktu. Until divorce proceedings, legal separation, or a custodial arrangement is filed with the courts it's not kidnapping.

BTW... even if everything is settled in mediation... do NOT share a lawyer. Make sure you have your own. If he doesn't want one, too bad.

Yeah, well, the thing about being a responsible parent i that you don't get to choose only the "good" stuff and call all of the shots once you're separated.

A happy mom=happy kids. If you are happier without him, then the kids will be happier. Don't let him pull a guilt trip on you about him not being with the kids. They needed a father ALL the time--not when it was convenient for him--and pleasant.

Get the ball rolling for child support. It's the LAW--it's not his choice.

Take care of yourself and your kids.
Please don't make any more babies with someone who isn't putting a ring on your finger and willing to be present all the time--good and bad.
Good luck to you!

The best thing to do is let a judge make the decision. Kids are amazingly resilient, and they will get through this. If you are unhappy, they best thing to do is to seperate, the kids can sense the kind of relationship that is going on, and it can't be good for them to see you unhappy and fighting. This is a big decision, but a few months from now, you will look back and be happy for whatever decision you make. Good luck!!

A.,
First, what's done is done in that you chose to have children with someone you knew was not the kind of relationship strong enough for permanency and now the children will suffer for it. You are both right - he is right that it is not good for the children to be tossed back and forth between you two. And you are right - it can be better to come from a broken home than to live in one. But there is a third option - you can heal the broken home!
Since he is their father, he must support them and have a relationship with them. I don't know if you have health insurance or not. But, if you do, please look and see if you can get some couples counseling, or go to counseling alone. Or seek out some free counseling (therapy) services.
Being a single mom is very difficult. I do not wish it upon anyone. Discuss with him the things that bother you. If he wants the relationship, the family, he will need to make some changes. AND - you need to hear him out on the things that bother him and you need to be willing to make some changes.
This may not be what you want to hear or what you want to do. But, it may be better for the children. I don't know your specific circumstance, so it may not be. If not, it means you will have to work full-time even if he does provide child support. That means the children will be in childcare and won't see you as much. You will be tired more and the children won't get as much play time with you - and children need one on one time with you.
So, I suggest you go very slowly in this break up and reconsider it. Both of you be willing to compromise and come to an agreement on how things can be better for you to be a family.
If that won't work after you give it several months trying and you still feel being apart is the best thing, then you will have to fight for child support and he will have to fight for shared parenting time. Let him have it - his relationship with the children is not one you have the right to interfere with.
Be careful what the children see. They are learning from you both about what a family should look like and they are learning from your actions and your behavior. You will all be in my prayers.

You wouldn't get married because your relationship wasn't strong enough- and yet you had children????????????????
Get a lawyer- court will tell him to pay. And for heaven sake you got him out-keep him out.
Let the court tell him what his legal responsibility is, and what his visiting sch is, and then stick to it.
And for heaven sake don't listen to his idea of what you are doing-he needs to grown up.
It may not be too late to set a good example.
best, k

You can make him pay child support because I kicked my husband out when the girls were little and he had to pay. They are his kids so he has to pay child support. I agree fighting in front of the kids are hard on them. It is better if you are apart. What ever you do don't put the kids in the middle of your battles. If you have been together all this time and are not ready for marriage you probably never will be. I agree it's time to end it. Get a lawyer right away and go in and file right away for child support.

I am not sure what the answer is. I can say that if you feel you like you did the right thing. Then that's all that matters. I hope this helps. Good Luck

If you can't afford a lawyer I strongly suggest you try to keep this without a lawyer. I had a lawyer for my divorce and custody and the lawyers drag it on until your money is gone, then they still try to get more. It's very difficult once a lawyer is involved, from either side. I now have a very good lawyer but $$$$$. You can file papers on your own, you can go to the courthouse and have a 15 minute consultation with lawyers for minimal cost and get information on what to file on your own. You can file papers and get it so the courts decide what his child support payments will be and you can file alone to get the Dept of Revenue to go after him in the event that he doesn't pay. Good luck