Hi Moms!
I need some good advice and tips for my daughter. She is a week shy of being 4 months old and, just within the past week or so, has started what seems to be separation anxiety from me. Last week I was doing something so a friend was holding her and she started to franticly cry and look for me. She couldn't calm her down so she brought her into the room I was in, and she stopped crying once she saw me, just hearing me wasn't enough. (My daughter has been around my friend since she was born, so she's not some stranger)
This week she has began to cry if I walk out of the room when she's on her play mat or even in her crib. When it's nap or night time she cries and cries when I walk out when I know that she's clean, fed, burped etc. (She's been a good sleeper since she was born) When I walk back in, she stops. I have started to stroke her head or pat her chest to reassure her that I'm there and "it's ok," but I want it to get back to being easy to put her down. Sometimes I will pick her up to calm her but when I put her back down, she starts to cry again. I don't want to start a bad habit of her thinking I will always pick her up when it use to be so easy to lay her down. We have started having my husband put her to bed now because she doesn't have the same reaction when he walks out of the room. That works, but since I stay home with her, I need to make it ok for me as well.
She has just started this and I wanted to know if anyone has any other advice or suggestions on dealing with separation anxiety in an infant. If I could, I would hold her all the time and let her nap with me so she's never upset, but that's just not possible since Mommy needs to get things done too. :) She's the sweetest and most content baby so it breaks my heart to see her getting upset because of me. Thanks for any tips you could give!
mmm Thats a tough one. Most babies typically experience separation anxiety (usually jusy shy of their 1st birthdays) but sometimes as early ae 6-7 months....at 4 months I'm not sure.....
Have you tried usuing a baby carrier? It will allow you to get things done and also ggive your little one the security that you are nearby....
For some reason they all seem to go through this stage, only not necessarly the same age. It may help to leave her a minute and pop back in and say see, mommy came right back, I didn't go anywhere. I had an infant seat, and a high chair that I put my children in so they could see me cook supper,or clean , whatever, and that helped.
How wonderful that your daughter has such an attachment to you, and is smart enough to know when you are apart! Both my daughters never left me, either. They wouldn't let anyone else hold them. Please remember, she is an infant - and you are her security. My daughters stayed very attached, even when they started preschool at 2.5. My pediatrician (who has 6 kids) said to be there for her, and she will separate when she is ready. He was very right! Although she cried a few minutes after initial separation, she loved school, and even asked to stay for extended day activities. They both enjoy sleep-overs, and my 10 year old spends alsmost a month at sleep-away camp during ths summer. Enjoy this special time -- although it sounds very cliche - it goes soooooo fast (mine are now 7 & 10).
S.
It's normal & it'll pass in time. All of ours have done the same, as well. Don't think you need to "teach" her to get over this; just give her what she needs & eventually she'll grow out of it.
I LOVE my Moby Wrap for wearing my baby around the house & when we're out. Even my husband can strap her in. Makes life much easier!
This same thing happened to me with my son around this age. One day he was letting anyone hold him and two days later he cried because someone else held him and never let anyone hold him without crying again ever! Except my husband, of course, but there were quite a few days that he didn't want ANYONE but mommy!
It was at times frustrating because like you I needed to get things done. I ended up putting most things off until my husband was home or my son was sleeping. Yes, there were many frustrating days and I went crazy knowing that my house was dirty. It has been especially hard because I am a bit obsessive compulsive. All I can say is treasure the time spent with your precious daughter. It will eventually all get done. She needs your reassurance that you will be there for her. I totally sympathize with you though. I was always jealous of moms with babies that were so easy-going and didn't need mom every minute. To tell you the truth, I didn't begin to get a break from his always needing me until he was about 18 months old. Although I think it would've been sooner if we hadn't moved around this time.
If you have family or good friends that can be around at least for a little while most days it will help. We never had that and I think it would've given him someone else to bond with. Like I said though some days he wouldn't even let my husband hold him.
Good luck with all of this, I know it's hard! Hang in there!
You know I have a 7 month old that does the same thing but not as bad during the day. I think it may be b/c I run an in home daycare to be able to stay at home, so he has to share me with the other kids and his 3 year old sister. Anyway...I actually notice it more when he is not feeling well, usually ear infection, which is not always detectable. This last time that was really the only sign he gave me until one night after a week of him being clingy, he started not sleeping so i called the dr and sure enough another ear infection. You are lucky though, my husband has tried and cannot soothe him. After about 6:30 he is all about mommy until he goes to bed. ( I cant even take a shower until he goes to bed) I would continue trying to have your husband help at night and then during the day try a lovey, but you may want to think about checking her ears (just an idea).
You can try experimenting with a baby sling -- babywearing will allow your little one to feel secure while allowing you to attend to the various chores in your life. Wearing a sling can take some getting used to (just figuring out how to put it on, adjust the baby, etc.) so you may want to consult someone who has sucessfully used one before when trying it out.
