My son is 4 months old. He spends a lot of time with everyone in our family. My question is... I can't leave him!! Whether it's my father, HIS father, or anybody other than my mother, I can't leave or he will scream the entire time I'm gone. He is starting to get bad with my mom, as well. I realized how bad it is today. I had to run out for just over an hour. My dad said he would watch him for me, as my son was in a great mood. As soon as I pulled out of the driveway, the screaming started, and didn't stop until I returned an hour and a half later. Last night I had to work (part timer) and he screamed at his father for 2 hours, until he cried himself to sleep. I don't know what to do. It is a nice feeling, being needed and all of that, but I feel guilty leaving him with anyone, as it is hell for all involved. I have told everybody he stays with, what he loves to do, (JOLLY JUMPER!) and even when the put him in it, he screams. NOTHING can settle this child, until his mommy comes home. I was wondering if anyone had any ideas, how do I help my son through this? Sometimes mommies need breaks too....
I babysat a boy like that. His mom finally took a few months off work and just held him until he didn't need it anymore. After a few months, he was suddenly very independent and confident. Babysitting wasn't bad for me as long as I held him away from me since both his mom and I had long blonde hair. It was tough though, if I said anything. If you can, it might be worth just holding him a lot for a while and see what happens. GL
It could be that he just doesn't understand that you're coming back yet. Perhaps you could set up a schedule of "leaving" everyday and train him to understand that you'll be back. For the first few days, you leave him with someone of your choosing for 5 minutes, then return to calm him. After a few days, increase it to 10 minutes, then 15, then 20 and so on. You could even potentially do it twice a day during the shorter periods if you have someone handy who doesn't mind the screaming. The goal would be to get him to realize that even though you're gone, you'll always come back. It'll only be a few more months until he realizes the concept of object permanance and hopefully this won't be an issue any more. Good luck!
It is kind of young for separation anxiety as far as I can remember but even so, maybe leave him something that smells like you. Don't feel guilty you cannot live your life around hoping he won't cry. You would live an isolated life, hee hee. I know nothing breaks your heart more then to her your child cry for you, wait until they can scream "mommy!" that is gut wrenching, however the reality is you do need breaks and he just has to get used to it. I would also "train" whom he stays with as to what you personally do to soothe and comfort him. Some people may not know what to do with a screaming baby as well as "mommy" does. Hang in there, it is a phase and he will be okay!! :) HUGS
I went through this with my son- it was so new to me and I completely understand how you feel. If I was going out on my own I had to sneak out - seriously. We put a movie in to grab his attention to I could do that and my dear husband would try to keep his attention until I got back. I was never gone more than 2 hours - after a while he just grew out of it. He was about 3 or 4 when that happened.
It was so hard though to leave. You might try not being in the room with him as much so he isn't as depended on you. Just checking in on him from time to time so he realizes he doesn't need the comfort of mom 24/7
Hope that helps!
Our now 7 month old daughter went through this right at 4 months too. She would be held happily by anyone, and then suddenly this switch flipped and if someone so much as looked at her she would cling to me and cry. I couldn't take anyone up on offers to babysit and got burnt out for a while. She does spend a lot of time with her dad though, sometimes in a different area of the house from me, so she was always okay with dad. There wasn't really anything we could do but after about a month or so she just started coming out of it. I'm a SAHM too, with no family in the area, so once she was improving again I just started leaving her in the church nursery (with my cell phone so they could buzz my husband if she got too upset). You might try an environment with other kids around because sometimes they get distracted and will forget you're not there. The first time my daughter went to nursery I thought she would scream but I went and spied on her and she was just sitting there in awe of the big kids and playing happily in their midst.
I am a mother of three, my youngest being 3 1/2 months old. My older girls never did anything like that when they were young. My infant son, however started doing the same thing whenever I went to work in the evenings. Sometimes it was that he was hungry. Most of the time he would be crying off and on until I picked him up when I arrived at home again. It is really difficult to listed to as a mom, your child screaming on the other end of the phone. I know it was difficult for my husband also. Somehow, though, he has realized that I come back and love on him and hug him. Now he only fusses when he is hungry. Some of that changed when I showed my husband what Baby enjoyed as far as interaction and play time. They became more relaxed together and Baby realized that Daddy is fun too. We started this by doing the play activities with Mommy and Daddy(or whoever you might like to practice this with first). Then we moved to Daddy holding Baby while Mommy played with Baby. Then Daddy actually playing them with Baby.
Mommies DO NEED breaks! I applaud you for realizing this! Don't give up. Baby will grow out of this stage. Hopefully though, it will not take too long.
Another thought, does he scream with those he spends smaller amounts of time with? If so it may be a familiarity issue that may be resolved with together time, with Mommy and the other person.
You can also find a toy that offers comfort, though he might be a little young at this point. I know my 21 month old is fine as long as she has her "toy of the week" around. It could be a blanket or shirt that just smells like mommy. Good luck!
