M.W.
K., I am very sympathetic wih your plight. Sorry to hear of your challenges, but you are right that the fighting will harm the children.
Instead of thinking about the final step of the divorce, you have to realize that there needs to be a period of separation to be able to be granted a divorce. In MD, it is one year with both parties consentig to the divorce, and two years if one will not consent. So right now, you and your husband need to work out how that will be done. And, because you have dependent children, you should be able to stay in the house and your husband continue to pay for it.
In MD, there is no permanent alimony unless a spouse is totally incapable of supporting themselves. But there are provisions for temporary alimony for a time so the spouse can get back on their feet and into the work world. And there is child support available too.
Please seek legal advice, I'm only telling you what I learned from my divorce 6 years ago. If you need the name of a super divorce attorney in Annapolis, message me and I'll send you her name. She is very caring, and full of common sense. But you defiitely need to talk to an attorney about your legal rights under MD law, and to guide you through this process. That way you can concentrate on helping your children.