My bf and I are 'separated' and sorting out some thoughts, this is something he wants & needs He stays at my house almost everynight, but we dont 'live' together. And I finally can give him this space. We have had 2 great convos about our issues and he wants time to clear his head, let go of some past hurts that I caused him so we can move forward, if that is what we both decide. Last week I hosted a fundraiser for 3 women that are going through breast & ovarian cancer. He called during the week and said he would still like to be my date if I would have him and that he wanted to be there with me to support. He has 2 sons and made arrangments since it was his weekend (something he has never done before) I appreciated his short time at the event with me, I walked him out and we kissed good bye and he asked to make plans with me on Monday. I told him I didnt think we were going to see eachother and he said that he felt we should. I've talked to him yesterday & today and he is making plans for us tonight to run an errand and have dinner, then Vday tomorrow. What do you all think, should I? I'm kinda on the fence...I know once Tuesday morning comes he will leave to work and we wont talk again until he calls. I really am trying to stay strong and not give in to my own selfishness in wanting to call or see him. I want to give him his space.
Thank you, I'm gonna go!
If you want to be with him then you should go! It sounds like he wants you more than his space. =)
If he stays at your house pretty much every night, I don't call that separated. Is he saying you're "separated" so that he can have you and other women too? I know this is not what you're asking, but it doesn't really sound like you are separated at all. I would have a serious discussion about whether you are a couple or not, I would insist he commit one way or the other and go with whichever - couple or not a couple, but not sorta kinda a little of both
I don't get it...you are giving him his space because you caused some hurt, yet he would like to take you out for V-day and you are on the fence?
If he has to clear up his issues and you are trying to be strong, well than, be strong, but otherwise, let your guard down and enjoy! Give him his space on Tuesday.
Go & have fun...but this guy seriously sounds like a "wants his cake & eat it too" kind of guy....be careful of your heart.
I sounds to me like maybe he doesn't need/want as much space/time as you're giving him or that he expected he'd need. He obviously wants to be around you and with you for Valentine's day, so if you want to go with him, then I say GO! Enjoy yourself, life is too short to take too much "time/space."
Have a good time!
If you are commited to working on things then I think you should go. If he asked for this time with you it seems like he's trying to put himself out there and communicate to you that he's really trying, between the fundraiser and V-Day plans. I think it's odd that you can't call him during the week...why you do you have to wait for him? I get that he needs to have space and whatever, but you shouldn't feel like you have to be at his beck and call and not play any part in it...but if that's how he wants it and you agreed to that by "working on things" then you should still go....just my two cents!
Go and just have fun with him. Don't talk about your issues.
A man you have feelings for asked you on a date? Unless he is an uncaring monster -- Go. Keep in mind it is just a date and not an engagement or other serious declaration and you should be fine on Tuesday. = )
BTW -- Separated and still sleeping over would cause any woman to question herself over such a simple thing as a man asking her out. Cuz it sure feels like he's got it made -- Space and a lovely woman when he wants her. =) Eventually, you will both need to decide to fish or cut bait. But it can wait until a few more days.
he's telling you he doesnt want as much space as he thought he did :)
It doesnt take them too long to realize how much they miss us once we are apart and making ourselves unavailable. If you love him and he's a good guy, I say enjoy Vday :).... Enjoy the space too if he still needs some. Space works both ways Cookie, dont forget that.
Go and have a good time. J.
Give him the space he needs...go ib the VDay date he has planned and slowly, make sure he spends most of his nights away from you. This "I need my space thing/but still want to sleep with you" benefits him. Why take the relationship any further if HE is getting all he needs?...space and a bed partner.
