I am very worried about my 3yr old daughter. She is very emotional over a lot of things and I'm not sure where to go for help for it.
For instance, clothing...she is very worried about what she looks like in clothing. If I try to put something on her she doesn't want to wear she will say "I look ugly in this" or "no one is gonna like this dress". And we let her pick out almost all of her clothes before we buy them so it's not like we are FORCING her to wear something she just doesn't like. Last night, we were getting ready for bed and she had to change her pajamas 3 times before she had a melt down because she thought she looked ugly in it. OR if she is getting disciplined for something, she breaks down like it is litterally breaking her heart. We can't even raise our voice a little without her breaking down.
I had never heard of Sensory processing disorders until seeing some questions on this sight about them. I tried to look up a little on line but didn't find much (probably because I'm not internet savy..lol). Anyway, I did find a list of symptoms and she had two of them out of 10 but the others she was complete opposite of...One being that the children are usually academically behind. I feel she is very advanced for her age. At 3, she can already spell her name, she knows almost the whole alphabet by sight and her numbers 1-10 and can count to 25. So, I know she's not lacking anything academically.
Can any of you Moms give me some insight on these disorders? Where to take her to be tested, what to expect and what kind of treatment they use.
TIA!
Thanks to the Moms who answered so far. Maybe I stressed to much on the "looks" part of the clothing. That is not the only issue she has. And it's not that we're allowing her to have tantrums or keep things perfect for her...it's like it is truly breaking her heart. She can't even handle it if I "sigh heavily"...her immediate response is always "are you mad at me?" or "whats wrong, mommy?"...so maybe she's just overly emotional.
WOW! She is not being manipulative, nor is she spoiled and the crying does not get her out of being disciplined. Thanks to the Moms that actually answered the question.
It sounds like she is very sensitive and emotional. It doesn't sound like sensory processing disorder at all.
Doesn't sound like sensory processing disorder to me. Do you or a big sister have concerns about looking right? What about what she's watching on TV or in movies. Sounds more like a learned attitude.
I do believe that babies come into this world with individual attitudes and this may be an example of this.
I would definitely talk with her pediatrician about it.
I would also suggest talking with a child therapist about ways to handle it. Perhaps you're already down playing your own reaction to it but if not I'd treat how she behaves as no big deal. I would let her choose her outfit and then stick with that choice, for example. When she over reacts to a slightly raised voice I'd ignore her reaction. I suggest trying to make her happy feeds into the idea that she has to have everything perfect.
She sounds overly concerned with appearances for sure. But it doesn't really sound like what I have always understood sensory processing disorders to be like. I thought the kids were overly bothered by certain touches or sounds or smells and the like. Either clothing fitting a certain way (or not) or being too soft or too scratchy, etc. Or certain sounds or the volume of sounds. Or having issues with foods bc of the way they felt in their mouths/on their tongues. The textures, etc.
Not what they LOOK like. :/
Interesting.
Sorry I'm not much help.
Tia, certainly mention your concerns to the pediatrician at your next appt and they can let you know if she needs to be evaluated. My daughter has I believe sensory issues. Her doctor did want her evaluated but my husband and I decided to hold off as she was beginning to overcome some of the issues by herself. I can tell you that she doesn't display any of the one's you describe. She is very sensitive to noise, light, anything new and her response is very age inappropriate. She is highly intelligent and possibly even gifted in some areas so I don't think that is a determining fact. Sounds maybe like a phase for a 3 year old but I would Definately ask her doctor if you have any concerns. Best wishes!
This sounds like normal 3 year old girl behavior.
My eldest daughter could care less.
My second daughter is the biggest diva/drama queen/priness.
Your daughter simply sounds like my 2nd daughter ;)
Instead of trying to self diagnose on the internet, she needs to learn about her emotions and how to handle them.
If she cries because she's disciplined, ask her why she's sad. Then tell her that she wouldn't be in trouble if she did 'x,y, and z' and tell her you know she'll think extra hard before doing it again next time.
If she thinks her PJs are 'ugly', again, ask her why. Give her 2 choices of PJs, and let her pick one... but no more tantrums over it. You are the grown up, YOU make the ultimate decision.
Being 3 is frustrating. They want so badly to be independent at that age, but need their parents twice as much. That's all.
My sensory kiddo was very concerned about what she wore when she was 3 and early 4yo. She had to wear dresses and tights to "look pretty." Then at around 4.5yo, her sensory issues really kicked in and then it was all about how the clothes felt, not looked. So, your description doesn't strike a chord re: sensory issues.
(Side note: sensory issues have symptoms all over the map. There are sensory seeking kiddos, sensory averse kiddos, and kiddos who alternate between the two (like mine).)
Finally, your kiddo might just be very spirited. That is a challenge in itself to parent. A couple of book suggestions, "The Spirited Child" by Mary Kurcinka. "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene. And "Temperament Tools" by Helen Neville. Reading these may give you a clue about your child's natural temperament and give you some tools to help her help herself.
It sounds more like emotional behavior than sensory processing disorder to me, but ask your daughter about how those clothes she rejects feel to her. You can go to your local library to check out books on SPD - ours has quite a few. Our son has always been very bright and ahead academically but he has always had a lot of sensory issues. He has outgrown some now by age 8. If your child has SPD it is not that they care how they look in their clothes...it is that they find certain clothes extremely uncomfortable. Our son could not wear underwear until this year. He also could not wear anything with snaps or buttons. He also could not stand this feel of jeans or anything scratchy. Tags drove him crazy or a collar that might rub near his neck. Sounds would drive him nuts and set him off with really bad behavior. The toilet was so loud he was extremely scared of flushing till he was 5-6. He can hear our lights when they are on. Loud rooms would freak him out and he'd start thrashing around and getting very agitated. Textures in food are really hard for him...he gagged at tons of food when he was little and still has a hard time with this. Your daughter sounds like she is sensitive and does not know how to handle her emotions. I noticed girls at preschool age already would kind of "judge" each other on their clothes and would want to or not want to play with another little girl depending on how they look. Can you play with her with some dolls and act out some scenarios? Maybe have 2 girl dolls complimenting clothing and then say things over and over to her how it does not matter what you wear, it matters how kind you are. Talk to her about how it does not matter what you wear. Maybe by giving her this message over and over it will sink in. You can ask your pediatrician about who to talk to about SPD. I personally thing some kids are just born more sensitive to things and they don't need a label saying they have a disorder. But, yes, some kids are really sensitive to the way things feel, sounds, tastes and textures. We did not have our son tested bc by the time I had heard about SPD he was already outgrowing some things. Then when he got put into the gifted program at school and I read quite a few books and papers saying that gifted children are often more sensitive and more reactive than other kids. This is something for you to keep in mind as well.
It doesn't sound like Sensory Processing to me. If shes only got 2 symptoms out of 10 then I would say no. SPD would be something like food textures, hates tags on clothes, sensitivity to lights especially bright lights.
It sounds like someones been telling her shes ugly in clothes and picking on her. Could it be part of the terrible 2's that start at 3 sometimes. she could just be very sensitive. What other symptoms are you seeing thats not listed above? Just by reading the syptoms you stated so far: I don't know that she needs any testing. You could check with your doctor and see what they think. Go with your gut though because usually it doesn't lie.
Nothing you described sounds like a sensory issue. Like with clothes, Andy cannot have tags! To him it is not something he can block out and it drives him nuts. He doesn't care at all what the clothes look like so long as there are no tags. There are no cures, most they grow out of, some like the tags they don't.
What this does look like is normal manipulation. There is something she doesn't want to do so she makes excuses. Like with discipline, makes me wonder how many times her heart breaking gets her a lighter sentence.
Instead of looking for crazy theories like sensory integration first look at cause and effect. What is she getting out of the behavior?
Um, I answered the question. My son has sensory issues, your daughter does not. Why would you rather have her have sensory issues? Really raising a child like Andy I think it is sick that you want her to have this problem.
I would discuss this with your doctor. I am confused how a three year old has that type of opinion on clothes? I would look to see who is influencing her. Is she around a lot of older girls? Is she watching TV shows that are for older girls? My experience with sensory issues has been my kids not liking tags in their clothes or not liking certain material. Also loud sounds, bright lights, strong smells. I would start with what she is watching and who she is spending time with. Her behavior has some characteristics of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). If you are noticing the other things I mentioned with the five senses then she may fall on the autism spectrum. Asperger kids are very bright but have some social sensory dysfunctions. I unfortunately I have had a lot of experience in a lot of those areas.
I have a child with SID's if you have questions email me. but your daughter doesn't sound like she has it. She sounds like a normal little girl. I have a daughter also that is real picky. She loves clothes and shoes and does the same thing. It's a girl thing. Normally with sid there is a disablity.. learning,motor delay,speech, add or adhd. Doesn't like the feeling of clothes. doesnt care what they are waring. tags,texture.. that type of thing. everyone has some sensory issues . like nails on chalkboard.. but not everyone had sids. more too than that. email me with your questions. my son had it since he was 6 months. food's also ..
My son has sensory processing issues. Texture of some foods, Some sounds and lots of clothing issues...mostly it is how things feel, not how they look.
Talk to her doctor and get a referral if necessary. Best to find out if this is the issue so you can deal with it.
If you looked at the DSM and she only had 2/10, it's highly unlikely she has Sensory Integration Disorder. And if I were to guess based only on what you posted I would have to say that I don't think she has it. SID takes over not only your child's life, but yours too. It's miserable until you can get some measure of control with therapy and understanding of how to minimize triggers and what causes triggers.
Perhaps if you were more succinct in your question and gave a list of things she has issues with that are actually related to sensory concerns, ie. problems with her five senses: hearing, touch/skin, smell, taste, sight/brightness/darkness/visual stimulation... and it can get quite complicated. It's more than just clothes being uncomfortable. There are tactile issues when it comes to food that cause serious feeding problems. Hyper sensitive hearing. Easily overstimulated on one end, and at other times not feeling enough... understimulated. Requiring a sensory diet to keep the body in balance. Having to keep sensory tools around in the house, the car, the purse in case a situation arises so that you can initiate giving sensory input to head off a meltdown.
SID is quite serious and complicated, and more than just 2/10. It's not an intellectual problem but can be associated with disorders that include learning delays such as Autism Spectrum Disorder and other Neurological Disorders. That's not to say that people with Neurological Disorders are not intelligent... in fact most people with them are very intelligent all the way to brilliant.
Anyway, if you're serious, you need to add some more details.
