Self Feeding - Richardson,TX

Relax... If your little one likes for you to feed her, then enjoy the time. Believe me she will grow up fast enough.

I always have to stop and ask myself, "How many adults do I know that...(fill in the scenario.)?" I don't know too many adults whose mommies are still feeding them. You are doing a great job!

:)

Has this doctor lectured you before about something she's not doing yet?

My daughter was born over two months early and my ped has always asked me if she's doing things kids her actual age is doing. But the thing she's always driven into my head is that as long as there are emerging skills (like the pincer grasp for example) then I should try things that are on the timelines but not worry too much about her being "on time". Even at our adjusted age my daughter has shown development for some skills on time and has been WAY late on others. She's 19 months and still isn't walking yet but she will push one of those walker toys like nobody's business. So we are giving her another month before we get concerned about it. Again just an example. Meanwhile, she is talking, knows body parts, uses signs, takes off her clothes and tries to put them on, which are all pretty much on time or early. Every kid is different.

The other question I have is whether this doctor told you to MAKE your daughter self feed or just try it with her? I have misinterpreted things like this with my doctor which is why I ask. When she was TINY, I was sure I had to get her to eat 3 ounces in 15 minutes for a while and then found out that I could just feed her small amounts at more frequent feedings. But I was sure we HAD to eat that much in that amount of time because it's all I heard.

Trust me, she will get it. If she's not ready to do it today, then don't sweat it. She needs her calories more than she needs to learn to self feed as a preemie. Make a game out of it. See if you can get her to feed you a piece of food and then you feed her and then you eat a piece and see if she will eat one. And if nothing happens during that meal, then try again in a few days/weeks. With my daughter I would try things she wasn't ready to do and worry that she was behind. But then I would give up pretty quick and try again in a couple of weeks and she would totally surprise me.

If you are uncomfortable talking to this Dr. openly or dread seeing him, you need to find another one. But if you feel comfortable asking questions and there's a possibility you might have mis-understood when he talked about self feeding, then you might want to just give the office a call and tell him she isn't going along with this self feeding thing and see how big a deal he thinks this is right now. He may tell you to try again later. If he alarms you and tells you that she MUST learn this before the next visit, then I would definitely start hunting for another Dr.

You are doing fine, trust me! Having a preemie trains you from the moment you bring them home to do things to the letter or there will be dire consequences. I think for some kids this may be true but if your daughter is otherwise healthy, just small, then you need to listen to your mom instincts and try to relax a little. I struggle with this every day but I am getting better at it slowly but surely! Good Luck Jennifer!!!

I think I might change pediatricians, actually. My pediatrician never even asked about this. Just wanted to know if he was eating "real" food. I don't know if you can "make" an 11 month old feed themselves.

I usually do both - finger food on the tray, and spoon feed my son (14months). He's just now trying to use a fork - not well, but hey, he's stabbing things with it. Wasn't really interested in the spoon much at all. I think they just do things when they are ready for the most part. If her adjusted age is 9 months, then don't worry. He wasn't super interested in feeding himself till a bit after that, anyway.

One thing I do is I ALWAYS eat with him. He has breakfast, lunch, and dinner with me so he sees me eating all the time. Maybe this would help your daughter as well?

Good luck!

You can't make her do it if she doesn't want to, plain and simple. And so what if she's feeding herself now or in a couple of months? She'll be fine! My pedi told me to get my daughter off of the bottle at 15 months...she had until after 2 when she gave it up on her own. Kids move at their own pace; rushing them is when things get frustrating for both of you.

My daughter learned to feed herself by being really really messy. :) I sat her in her high chair and put a couple piles of food on her tray. She played, some got in her mouth, most got on the floor and on her. I would sit with her & feed her as she was playing. She picked it up eventually.

Good luck!

I don't know the answer to your question, but if your pedi is making you feel bad or anxious to see him, then I would switch to a new doctor!

My daughter has been self feeding solids since she started eating them basically. She's very independent and would rather do it herself than have somebody else do it for her (with the exception of spoons and forks) Anything that is finger food she'll eat herself. Most children that I've seen though, aren't like this. It can take them over a year to self feed. It's not that they're stupid, they just know that their mom will do the work for them so why should they do it themselves? haha! If your pedi is making you feel anxious and trying to force your child in to doing something then switch pedi's because there is no reason for this. Your pedi is only supposed to make sure she's progressing, not make sure she's "on time" with other children. Who's to say what's realy "on time" anyways? Every child I've seen learns things at different times. You're daughter is perfect and don't let anyone tell you different.

I knew someone in another state whose daughter has a severe disability and when she was told to put her daughter in a wheelchair (by the Dr.) she didn't. Rather she let her daughter be on a scooter with a bike helmet (it was fun to watch her scoot in the church basement). Her daughter is healthier, and the Dr.s in the area are now following her lead. Now tell me,are you worried about your Dr or your daughter? Are you spending time teaching her, loving her, giving her some "boredom" time? (see the book THRILLED TO DEATH) If you are happy with her development then take a deep breath and relax.

I don't remember exactly when my almost 2 year old started self feeding, but I don't think it was at 9 months. A pediatrician telling me to make her learn to self feed would be a big turn off to me. I've pretty much let my boy do things on his own schedule. We introduce him to things, but if he doesn't show interest, we try again later. He is doing great.

I guess my advice is to worry more about whether you need to change pediatricians more than making her learn to self feed.