I'm 29 years old and recently suffered the loss of my 8 week old pregancy to an ectopic pregnancy. It has been a hard time for me both physically and mentally. I was just wondering if any one else has gone through this. I was also wondering if someone has gone through this if they got pregnant again without complications? I appreciate any feedback I can get.
Thanks a bunch!
Wow, I never expected to get such great responses on here. I didn't tell the whole story the first time. I do have a 2.5 year old healthy daughter named Anna. 3 weeks ago when I found out my pregnancy was ectopic I had the chemo treatment the next day. That next weekend was awful in the pain department. The Monday after I had awful pains that kept me awake for 1.5 hours, but it eventually went away. I called the hospital and they told me that if my tube had erupted the pain wouldn't have gone away. Wednesday morning I had the same pain, but it didn't go away. Around 12:30pmI started feeling the pain. A few hours later the pain wasn't as severe, but it had changed. I had severe shoulder pain and started to have digestive problems. My belly continued to hurt along with my shoulders all day. A few hours later I started feeling really light headed and I made my husband come home from work. We didn't end up going to the hospital until about 8:30pm. I was passing out left and right. When I lost 1.5 liters of blood. The next day I had to have 2 units of blood. It's been 2 weeks and physically I'm started to feel a little bit better. At first I thought that I was giving my baby the worst death in the world with the chemo treatment. It took several friends and family members to tell me that the baby couldn't feel any pain. It was very hard for me to believe at first. I am going to get a tree in memory of my baby. My daughter reminds me of the baby in my belly all of the time. I don't know what to tell her. Thanks for all of the prayers and stories. They are very good to hear. I hope that in 4-6 months when I try again I have a healthy baby boy. My husband really wants a boy. It's interesting though that my husband doesn't seem to have any emotion one way or the other about this. I'm not sure if this is just because he is a man and doesn't show his emotions. It makes me feel worse though that I'm making too big of a deal about the whole situation. Let me know if you guys have any suggestions on this. Thanks again for all of the great comments. If any of you are in the Goergetown area, do you know of any support groups for this kind of loss? Thanks!
I did not have and ectopic pregnancy but did have two miscarriages, one at 5 weeks and one at 8 weeks. After the 8 week miscarrige I had a DNC and then was told not to try for another two months. Needless to say after only a month of not trying we became pregnant and have a beautiful healthy 3 month old. We did not have any complications but because of the previous losses I was very nervous throughout the pregnancy.
Good Luck
M.,
I personally haven't had an ectopic pregnancy but my daughter did two years ago. I guess there are many different treatments and her doctor chose to go with a Chemo shot, as to try to prevent scar tissue. She has had several miscarriages, before the ectopic, but in November gave birth to a whopping 10lb 8oz boy. She has to take baby asprin as soon as she thinks she is pregnant but they actually did an ultrasound when she was first pregnant and knew that the egg was released from the same ovary as the previous ectopic pregnancy. I hope this helps. I wish my daughter lived closer and could write about the emotional/physical issues. If no one else responds, maybe I could get her email address to you. Good luck.
I am so sorry for your loss - I know how hard it is! I have had 3 ectopics. My first two were 'dissolved' with Methotrexate and it was very difficult for me to handle. My most recent ectopic ended in a ruptured tube and my left tube being removed. It was awful. I am still mourning the loss of my baby and my tube.
I will give you some hope though. In between my first two ectopics and my third I delivered a healthy baby girl and she is the light of my life! I have had 4 other losses that were miscarriages, but with her in my arms I know that miracles happen and I am not giving up hope for another healthy pregnancy!
Hey there - I was 26 when I had my ectopic - did not even know I was pregnant. My falopian tube ruptured and I had it removed - since then I have had 3 children - so it is possible to have a normal pregnancy following an ectopic. - M.
M.,
I am so sorry for your loss. Yes I have had an ectopic. I was undergoing fertility treatments at the time and the egg attached not only to the tube but to the ovary also. The doctor at the time didn't want to remove it he suggested methotrexate, which is a cancer drug to reduce the ectopic and my body would reabsorb it. However, it did not work out that way and after 2 shots of that and 6 weeks of suffering with the side effects, the ectopic blew up to the size of a grapefruit and did explode on me. Luckily by the time it did explode I was already in the hospital having been in pain and been bleeding. They had to rush me into surgery and remove the whole right side, ovary, tube and do a lot of clean up. I went into a very deep depression was off of work for 12 weeks due to some infections and to take my mind off of it, my husband and I went on vacation to South Carolina. While there we decided to move there. I went back to work, turned in my resignation and we moved.
Two weeks after we moved there, I became pregnant on my own for the first time after 5 failed pregnancies. I quickly found a doctor and she wouldn't even see me until we found out that the baby was in the proper place in the uterus. It was and I now have a beautiful 6 year old daughter!!! Don't ever give up hope. I have had a total of 12 pregnancies in all and one live birth. If I werent already in my mid 40's I would stil be trying.
Every loss of a child leaves a scar. How you deal with that scar and move on is the trick. Let this experience help you make you and your husband stronger. Go ahead and cry it out now, let your hurt ease itself. It will never go away but you can get through it. After you have finished with the crying, pick yourself up and try again. Learn from what happened. DON'T EVER GIVE UP!!! A child is so worth it.
I think God gave me my Elizabeth to help me past the other ones. She is a very happy child and I can't even imagine what live would have been like without her.
Take care of yourself now, and work it out in your heart. You will be ok. Send me a message if you need more encouragement. I will be happy to help.
E.
Hi M.. I'm sorry for your loss. I don't have any personal experience with this, but my nighbor's son and daughter in law had a very similar thing happen. They were supposed to wait a few months before trying again, but she got pregnant two months later. Their baby is happy and healthy. Good luck! K.
Hi M.,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know you must be hurting and hope that you find comfort in knowing that you are in the prayers of a stranger.
My mother actually had TWO ectopic pregnancies. One before my birth and one after my birth (before the birth of my younger brother).
Obviously it was a different era, but she had been told that she would never conceive in the first place...and did so---four times.
Take care of you for now, get strong, wait until the hurt fades a bit and then trust in your future to unfold as it should.
In the meantime, know that you are not alone.
V.
M.,
I'm so sorry that you lost your baby. I know how painful it is, both emotionally and physically, because I lost my first baby when I was 12 weeks along. My baby had stopped growing at 7 1/2 weeks, but I did not find out until I was 12 weeks. No one can understand how a woman feels when she loses a baby until they have experienced it themselves. I said lots of prayers and I was pregnant within 3 months. I now have a beautiful 4 1/2 month old baby boy.
Although mine was not ectopic, I have 2 friends who have experienced ectopic pregnancies. One of my friends was pregnant the very next month after her D&C. She did not want to wait! She now has a healthy 5 month old baby boy. My other friend did have some trouble getting pregnant again, but she did in vitro and she is now 13 weeks pregnant and doing wonderfully. So know there are options, but don't think just because you have had one ectopic pregnancy that you will have another.
So try to be strong and have faith that you will be pregnant again soon. And definitely let yourself cry anytime you need to for that little angel you lost. I still have my moments when I think about my first baby...because to me he or she was already my child. Heck, I'm crying right now just writing you! My husband and I refer to him or her as our angel baby. My husband bought me a Willow Tree angel figurine to represent our baby. That may help you too...get some sort of figurine or necklace charm that will represent your baby. Then you will feel like he or she is always with you.
Good luck! I will keep you in my prayers. I truly hope that you get pregnant again soon.
I had an ectopic pregnancy with my first pregnancy (at 30 years old) after trying for 1.5years. After suffering with an ectopic pregnancy at 11 weeks, I was told to wait 3 months, I did and then was pregnant a second time after two months of trying, had a normal pregnancy and birth of a beautiful girl, When she was 9 months old, I became pregnant again (timing was surprising, but not having a second child) and had a beautiful boy. I was scared that there was something wrong with me (it sure felt that way), but in hindsight I believe it was timing and chance. I finally realized, I do not do everything right the first time, why should my body? Have faith.
Hi M.,
I have never had an ectopic pregnancy but I have had a miscarriage @ 8 weeks 4 days. I wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself, rest and take the time to grieve.
I found the book, Empty Cradle Broken Heart by Deborah Davis to be very helpful on my journey to peace & healing. http://search.half.ebay.com/empty-cradle-broken-heart_W0Q...
Hugs,
J.
Hi, I am very sorry for what you have been through. On an encouraging note, my cousin had the same story and was able to carry a baby to full term, he is 18 months now. She got pregnant about 5 months after the loss.
M. - Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you!!! I too suffered an ectopic pregancy several years ago. Prior to that pregnancy, I had a molar pregnancy, so immediately when I discovered I was pregnant in Aug 2003, the dr. performed a vag ultrasound to see if sac was forming, etc... I was probably only 4 weeks. Immediately he noticed that NOTHING was their, not even the tiniest growth, so he refered me to the hospital for an ultra sound...a week later (& blood work to check hcg levels) This revealed to my dismay...ectopic pregnancy... surgery was scheduled for the next day, and they removed the egg with little to no damage from the incident THIS WAS OCT 17th, 2003...THEN God began to work miracles within my body and my heart...On OCT 17th 2004 exactly one year later...I left the hospital with a BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL ... (who by the way did not indicate heart beat on very first early vag ultrasound) She is Extremely Healthy and VERY intelligent!!! I know that what you are going through is tough, but Be Faithful and Know that God is with you!!!
As an aside, during this time I became a health educator and had to teach kids about the dangers of tobacco use ( a vice I had struggled with for years as a social and closet smoker)...My research in this area revealed to me that BOTH of my situations could have been due to a past of tobacco use. I didn't realize that EVEN when I wasn't smoking...in some cases the DAMAGE was already done!!! I don't let myself feel too guilty about this, but I thank GOD for using my job to reveal this possibility to me. This may not be your situation, but could be others, so thought I would share...
Blessings =-=--S.
Hi M.,
I am so sorry for your loss. I too had an ectopic pregnancy with my first baby at 30 yrs old and it was a really scary and bizarre experience. I was only 7 weeks pregnant and had not really even started to read much info about pregnancy, so when the pains started I was quite in the dark as to what it could be. I read a LOT in those few days before i went to the Emergency room.
It was so early in the pregnancy that the Drs decided to give me an injection of (methotrixate) a chemical used in chemotherapy to terminate the pregnancy instead of giving me an operation to remove it and possibly part of my fallopian tube. That was a very difficult decision for me to make, but it felt the right one at the time. As it turned out, they took another blood test just before giving the injection and the results of that (which came back 2 days later) showed that my pregnancy hormones had dropped considerably already, which meant that the baby had already died. That gave me some relief and I was so pleased to have not needed surgery.
I do not know your situation, but I just wanted to encourage you that it is so normal to be struggling emotionally with this - it is the loss of a baby, a dream of a future with that child, and also possibly a part of your reproductive system (if they needed to operate and remove the tube). Grief takes a long time to work through, but it does get better, and you will feel differently soon. Just hang on in there and talk to close people about how you are feeling whenever you need to - it really does help to ease the load!
I now have three beautiful children who were born very close together! A real blessing after the loss. Ruby (5), Jet (3), Ashlin (1). I did go on to have a miscarriage after the ectopic pregnancy (which was absolutely unrelated - a blighted ovum at 12 weeks) but I can be sure that this was not as a result of the ectopic. I believe that statistically it is very unlikely to have another ectopic pregnancy, or another type of miscarriage -it was just a rough time for me with absolutely no rhyme or reason to it, but i hold onto the hope now that that situation was so entirely redeemed by my healthy and full-term pregnancies and deliveries of my three precious live children.
I pray the same for you.
A. Millard
I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy to miscarriage, and it was a very sad time. I remember that the idea that I could try again was very important to me.
Mine wasn't an ectopic, but I wanted to let you know that my mother-in-law had an ectopic after her first child (my husband), and she went on to have two more very healthy children (my sisters-in-law) without any problems. The ectopic had so little longstanding effect that we kids didn't even know about it until recently.
M., my heart goes out to you. I also had an ectopic pregnancy about ten years ago, and I know how hard that is. Not only have you lost your baby, but you never got to hold it or really see it, and you are also having to recover from surgery, probably. I was lucky that the nurse at my doctor's office did think to give me a picture of the ultrasound, so I at least have that. We also named the baby (even though we didn't know for sure, we decided it was probably the girl we had been hoping for!), and we planted some flowers in the garden as sort of a memorial to her. My doctor told me that getting pregnant again would NOT be a problem, just to make sure to get an ultrasound very early on to make sure it was not another ectopic. I have not gotten pregnant again mainly because I have other complications and that pregnancy was in itself a miracle. But you should not have any problems if you are otherwise healthy. I advise you to let yourself grieve for your baby and don't be afraid to talk about it. Hopefully you have lots of caring and supportive friends and relatives who will be with you through this process. God bless you!
M.,
I have had 3 ectopic pregnancies at varying times and have a wonderful 6 year old daughter. You can get pregnant again. Tell the doctor that you would like to have a "dye" test - This is where they shoot dye through your tubes to make sure that they are clear.
Good Luck !!
Hello M.,
My first pregnancy was an ectopic pregnancy. Unfortunately we did not know that until the pregnancy had developed too far and the tube ruptured. As a result the tube could not be repaired. I am happy to say, however, that I have since had two beautiful blessings, now 14 and 6. It took me a little longer than most to get pregnant, but both pregnancies were completely healthy and had no complications. I just made sure to let my OB know that I had one ectopic pregnancy and they scheduled me for my first visit before they would have ordinarily and they monitored the pregnancy very closely for the first several weeks. I know how difficult this time must be for you, but you can definitley conceive and carry a baby to term. Good luck and God Bless!
In God's Love,
T.
Hi M.,
I was exactly your age when I got pregnant for the first time and also ended up having an ectopic pregnancy. Mine was detected, treated, and it still burst my fallopian tube causing me to bleed out. I lost the tube as it was not able to be repaired. I was completely distraught. My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for two years at that point. After the ectopic, I quit my job, which was very stressful although I loved it, and a bunch of things changed in my life. Just three months later I found out I was pregnant again. I was cautiously optimistic and went on to deliver a happy healthy baby girl nine months later. A year later I had my first son and a year and a half after that my second son. So, even though my first ended in tragedy, one that I will never forget, I have had three beautiful children (in three years) after that. Try not to be discouraged and know that this is not your fault. It is not a genetic problem that occurred with the baby, the baby just didn't make it to the right place. Feel confident that your time will come and you will have you baby in the right time for you. I wish you all the best.
My best friend had an ectopic pregnancy and went on to have three beautiful children (good pregnancies) and no more ectopics. I remember how sad the experience was and pray that you will be comforted and find great support around you. I hope my friend's story is an encouragement.
I'm 34 and I can truly sympathize with how you feel. I have had 3 ectopic pregnancies. The first 2 were in my left tube, which eventually was partially removed. I was told that it was like losing part of your limb. Then 5 mths ago. I became pregnant in my right tube, which also resulted in some loss of that tube. I've has the hsg test done and I've also had corrective surgery on my tubes. I was told that my only chances of getting pregnant is to go through with IVF. I'm just scared that too will fail. It's very stressful!
You might want to check out parenthood.com -- my sister got a lot of support from that online community when she was having trouble conceiving. The site has specific forums for those who are having trouble conceiving or miscarriages, ectopic pregnancies, etc.
Good luck, and I'm very sorry for your loss....
I had an ectopic in 11/04. It took me a a year to recover - I took zoloft and clomid. And even did accupuncture. It was all worth it - in fact I conceived around the anniversary of my surgery. And I got pregnant a my second child without any medications or treatments. Good luck.
I went threw the same thing and believe me all those emotions that go with it too. to know that you are pregant at the same time as a cousin and fast forward 6 months later she has her baby and I don't, very painful. We tried to get pregant again and we did had a baby boy who is now 17 years old but We still want more children that ache and desire to have children never goes away I have always wanted to have 4 children. but I thank GOD that I had a good pregnancy and delivery. would like to know if there is any type of help out there for us to forfill our dream of more children, time is ticking since I am 42 years old right now. thank you and do not lose hope. did they get to save your tube or did it have to be removed?
