Seeking Toddler Moms with Advice?

If you would like more children but are worried about bp issues, may I suggest The Brewer's Diet? It has a wonderful track record of preventing toxemia/preeclampsia/pregnancy-induced hypertension. It doesn't get a lot of press with OB's (perhaps because it doesn't have any drug reps behind it to market it) and there aren't a lot of hard studies to back it up (thank goodness! Who would want them to experiment with pregnant women!) but it's antecdotal evidence is fantastic. http://www.blueribbonbaby.org/ is the official website. http://home.mindspring.com/~djsnjones/id9.html is also a really good breakdown of the diet. Just FYI!

I would just tell her that Mommy can't have any more babies. You don't have to tell her why. Maybe she could have a friend come over for a playdate when her sister is not there. At least that would help a little.

I say find a play group! It would be wonderful interaction for her with other lil ones! As far as having another, consider adopting! If you and your husband want more children, it maybe something to look into. You never know til you do! The playgroup would be wonderful for your lil girl. Most meet like twice a month. Take her to the library, parks, and things. Any place where there maybe more lil ones. IF you join a playgroup, she may meet someone that she likes alot and you can have them over too!

First off don't have one just because she wants one. You just have to explain to her that you can't just have a baby. She'll understand better than you think she will, but you may have to tell her many times.
If you're serious about having another baby talk to your husband and make sure he's serious about it too! He will have to take on lots of responsibilities that you normally take care of, because you'll be high risk. If he's all for it sit down and talk with your OB. If you don't have a regular one, interview some. You can get early morning interviews for free or really cheap (well I did in Houston). There may be some things you can do before you get pregnant to help keep things under control. There is a book by Dr. Hale that has lots of info about meds and pregnancy and breastmilk, so you might be able to take something while your pregnant to control the blood pressure. Good luck.

If it were me, there's no way I would even consider getting pregnant again. If you really want another child, why not adopt one?

When my daughter was that age she started displaying the lonely signs as well. At that point she loved other people and would walk up to practically anyone. Well, I'm single and have no plans to have another kid but I didn't want her to be lonely, so I had her start playing with some of the neighbor's kids and made play dates with another mom or two. The process took a little bit but soon I realized she does love other kids but loves her 'me' time, too.

I also have Blood pressure problems. Im currently pregnant with my second child. I have to monitor it carefully and watch what I eat, and because of my pressures I have alot of swelling sometimes. when I was preg with my daughter I even had real bad fluctuations in my bloodsugur. If thats not enough I even had failure to progress in labor and had to have csection. So I ill be doing that this time too. Anyway the point is I work closly with my doc, I have my own bloodpressure cuff to keep track on my own, and I take baby safe meds. I was nervous too. If you really do want to have a baby I think you should start but seeing your doc. Tell him your fears and see what he thinks. Youll feel much better with the docs go ahead. If you need to talk Im here:)

When my daughter was little she would ask for a baby sister. She has two older brothers and she desperately wanted a sister. She would tell me that it wasn't fair because I have two sisters and she doesn't even have one. One Sunday she had her head bowed and her eyes closed tightly. After worship I asked her what she was praying for. She told me that she was praying for a baby sister. I didn't tell her she was the "surprise" child and we didn't want any more children. I told her that we felt very blessed with three happy, healthy children and we were not going to have any more children. That didn't stop her from praying. At age 41 we had an unplanned pregnancy and I miscarried the baby at about 10 weeks. I was grateful that we had waited to tell the children and she didn't know that we lost a baby. My husband scheduled a vasectomy and then canceled the appointment. At age 45 we had another unplanned pregnancy. My husband told me that God had answered our daughters prayers and he was going to ask her to start praying about the lottery. The baby was a boy and my prayerful daughter now has 3 brothers. I think she has given up on praying for baby sisters. I would suggest that you tell your daughter that you are very blessed to have two beautiful healthy daughters and your family is complete. And if she starts praying every Sunday for a baby brother do not give away your crib, stroller, car seat, and all your baby clothes.

Have you considered adoption? There are many children who would love a home and if you are wanting an infant, it is not as hard as it seems. My husband did not want our 23mth old boy to go without a sibling since I can not have any more. I have to say this process is exciting and a breath of fresh air, as I no longer worry about the complecations that could have arisen from another pregnancy.

Just a thought. We are using CASI Foundation for Children in Idaho (www.adoptcasi.org). They were by far the cheapest and are unique in that there is not a list. If you match a mothers critera you get to be looked at.

Just a thought! God Bless

it is YOUR decision - not that of a 2-year-old!!!!!!!

If you are considering another child just because your 2-year-old wants one, you need to get a handle on this relationship NOW. she is going to run over you in a couple of years.

i would be worried also with the blood pressure problems you've had in the past, have you ever thought about having a surragote?? that way it is still your baby but you don't have to put your body thru all of the stress of being pregnant again!!

I am in a similar predicament. I have 2 boys- 5 and 2. My oldest child asks for another baby frequently. I think that I want another child, but I am also concerned that my body won't be able to handle it. I am recovering from a bulging disk in my back. It bothers me quite a bit, and I was told that it would never be like it was before. There is worry there. What we both should do is talk to our doctors about our concerns and weigh out the risks. I know that I have been putting it off because I don't know if I want to hear the answer. Check with your doctor and see what he/she thinks. Is adoption a consideration for you? What about signing your daughter up for some kind of class where she will be around other children often? That would take some of the pressure off of you until you decide what is best for you.

I think you should consider having more children, but not just yet. It doesn't really sound to me like you are ready for another wee one. Try play dates and such. Then maybe in a year or so, consider having another baby with lots of help from family, friends, and a doctor you really trust. Besides, then your youngest would be big enough to help out some, but still small enough for them to be close. >^.^< Good luck!

Is adoption an option for you? If your younger child is just lonely, have you thought about enrolling her in a daycare or some other sort of activity where she can play with children her own age a few times a week?

Get her a baby doll... who is in charge here? Do you really need a bunch of strangers to tell you that you should'nt risk your life to satisfy your 2-year-old child's obsession with a baby brother.
It's extremely normal for 2-year-olds to request that, but extremely abnormal for a monther to consider it- especially under your ciurcumstances with health issues. I agree with the other moms. You need to get a backbone! If YOU really do want anothert child, talk to your doctor about the risks. What if the next one wants a baby brother?

Well, blood pressure is one thing that can usually be dealt with, yes, you'll have to be on bed rest for a LONG time possibly, and maybe even take meds during your pregnancy, but you have to decide what's more important to you. I was on bed rest for months with 2 of mine, and yes it was VERY difficult, especially when I had a 1yr old and a 2yr old while on bed rest for 3 1/2 mos, but we survived, we got help from friends, and everything turned out great, now I have my precious angel. But, that's not the right choice for some people.

Now, I REALLY have to laugh at the child wanting a sibling thing. #1, don't most kids? #2, My oldest wants us to have either 14 kids or 62 kids, and he tells people that all of the time. Am I going to do that just because he wants that? HECK no! I'm satisfied with my 4. My youngest is our only baby girl with 3 big brothers, I know she'll be the outcast, and I KNOW she'll want a baby sister (maybe brother, but definitely a younger sibling of some sort). It has to stop somewhere at some point. If you just want her to have a playmate during the summer, get her in a play group, join a church and let her make friends there, put her in a mother's morning out program or 1/2 day daycare so she'll have some social interaction.

You decide what YOU want aside from what your child wants. If you decide more children is for YOU, then talk to your Dr if you think you can handle bed rest. If it's not worth the stress and trouble, don't do it. Also, 3 kids (especially 4) can be VERY stressful and raise your blood pressure all on it's own, so think about that too.

Good Luck!
K.
Stay at home mom of 4

K.,
In my opinion the ONLY reason to have another child or attempt, is because

You and your husband both want another child
You and your husband can financially afford another child
Another child would not be a burden on yourself or family
And... after all of this you and your husband want one bad enough that you're willing to put yourself through this danger.

Good Luck in whatever you decide to do.

J.

Maybe an alternative for you is to find your youngest some friends she can play with at home. It sounds like you would love to have more children, but that your health could be a BIG issue. Your cause for concern is clearly genuine and for good reason. Don't feel like you aren't providing someting for your daughter if you and your husband decide not to have any more children. Sometimes the risks are heavy. Maybe you can help her by finding some other children for her to play with at home, from church or somewhere. Do you have any relatives with children? They may be a good source. These children don't necessarily have to be the same exact age as your daughter either. If she enjoys playing with your oldest she may benefit from some playtime with other older children too. I know that having friends doesn't compare with a sibling, I have a very similar situation myself, but maybe this will give her enough companionship while your daughter is gone that you will get a break from her baby begging. Good Luck.