I was sure hoping someone was going to give you 'real' advice from a step-parent household. I have that same problem. My son is 13, and anything that goes wrong, my husband (not his bio dad) blames my son. When our son (6) messes up the room, the oldest has to clean it- my husband yells. This has really started to affect our marriage, because I feel like I don't like him as a person anymore. You know? Now my son isn't an angel, but he shouldn't be the scape-goat either. For instanct,when my oldest was 4, and we had gone to the beach one day. I put suncreen (tons of it) on both my kids but my son still got burned, really bad. Everytime I would try to comfort him I was told I was 'moddy-coddling' (misspelled) him. My husband would say how he would get burned like that all the time as a kid and he was fine. My son doesn't need me. Then I had my mom tell me how bad of a mom I was for allowing him to get burned. Years later, we go to the beach with all the kids. Again tons of suncreen, and the baby gets alittle red. I get yelled at because I should have been putting the suncreen on him everytime he got out of the water- even if the suncreen was next to him and so was our youngest. Talking to my husband doesn't help, either. He even gets mad if I take my oldest to the doctor when he is sick- its that bad. He starts to complain that I don't do that for our boys. If any of our 4 kids get sick, and needs to go to the doctor- they go. My husband just loves to complain- I have learned this, it has just taken me 9 years. I hope you find an answer.