Seeking Someone Who Can Explain This to Me

Hang in there, sweetie!

I know how hard it is. I was about your age when I would have to rush home to take care of my younger brother and mentally-disabled sister. It's rough when you feel like you are missing your childhood and being forced to act older than your age. If you don't feel like you can talk to your mom, I would suggest talking to a close family friend or relative. Maybe they can help your mother out with childcare, etc. while she gets her life back in order. You really need to take care of yourself. If you need to talk, feel free to email me.

Take Care,
L.

Well sweetheart, it is definitely a difficult position you are in. I was 6 years older than my sister and because of that, I too was responsible for her a lot. It is indeed very stressful. You need to talk to your mom and vent. It is not your responsibility to shield your mom from your stresses, it is your Mom's responsibility to shield hers from you. You are not capable of protecting your mom from life as much as you try, so what you need to do first is talk to your mom. See what you guys can work out. I am sure your brother loves you for everything you do, but it would also be best if he got that care from him mother, even though I am sure you do a great job.

Good luck!!

E. I have a cousin that was in your shoes and her she was raising 3-of her siblings and the oldest is 18 & still taking care of her since childhood with a little family support. Where are your other family support i.e. uncle, aunties, cousins so on? You’re too young to handle 2-siblings alone, your mother and yourself. You didn’t really say a lot about what your mother is going through other than the separation and very depress but you’re in the shoes of a mother and you need to say what you need to say to your mother to get her act together. We don’t want to say the wrong things to our mother to make things worsen but honey sometimes you have to. You continue to keep GOD in your life, pray for strength, guidance and answers. Also are you in school? If so how are you doing in that? Please keep me posted. I’ll keep you in my prayers. Good Luck!

I am so sorry your parents have put you into this situation. Having nieces your age and knowing how they behave, you are definetly a very mature person, and seeking help is very good. The first thing I want to say is that God didn't put this on your shoulders (your parents did,) He will give you the strength to continue and come out successful. The rest is just advise that might help or that you can try. Get your brother and sister to help you. You three are in this together. If your school has counselors talk to one of them and try to get your parents and you kids in a meeting and discuss your feelings and desires for the family. I'm not sure if sitting down with your parents alone might work, but if you bring a professional they might be more willing to listen to what they are doing to you and the other kids. Talk to your mom and give her her place as the mother. She's going through a very difficult time with her husband; however, she's still have responsibilities. The most important responsibility is to take care of her kids, you guys are still there and you guys need your parents, you need the protection, you need the assurance that someone is there for you and someone will look after you. Be yourself, be strong and have fun, you are still a kid. Keep seeking for advise, get other family members involved, do you have grandparents? Aunts? Ask for people support. Good luck and I'll be thinking about you. E.

First of all you are an awesome individual! You have such an amazing heart. I pray that you will find strength in your faith during this difficult time. My advice to you is to take care of yourself. It is great that you are understanding of the circumstances your parents are going through, but taking on all that you have is not healthy for you. My parents got divorced when I was six and my sister who is three years older than me always acted in a 'mother' role. Now as an adult she has major issues with self esteem, dependency and more because she never helped herself. She was always the 'rock' for everyone else and never took care of herself. Even I just thought she was super woman and never questioned it until a few years ago she got caught using drugs. She was totally self destructing because of all the junk she kept bottled up from the past. It was all stemming from the fact that she always helped everyone else, but never took care of herself. Please seek help from friends, church or some other support group. I know it's hard to understand why God has put you in this situation, but just believe that it will all work out. Your faith will help you get through this trying time. Take care of yourself first, then you will be able to give others support. God bless you.