Seeking Single Moms of Young Children or Babies

Hi D.,

What you are seeking is for us to guide you into a direction that can give you reassurance that you are making the right decision. I am a divorced mother of 3, two by my 1st husband and I thought I was going to marry my third childs father until I woke up one morning and realize this could not be all there is to my life.

The best advice I can give you is, to look at what changes you are seeking speak with your significant other and express them to him. It is then that you need to make what necessatry changes to suit you because you can not take care of your children if you can not take care of you.

Take time to discover what you wish to gain out of this life. Make decisions with a clear hear and not a frustrated head.

Good luck!

Lauren C.
Paralegal

Hi D.,

My husband left me 6 years ago and I can tell you that divorce doesn't solve any problems, it just causes more and it never goes away. My kids are 6 years into being tossed back and forth and are tired of it, their school work is suffering and are struggling with depression. My advice to you is to go to a good councelor. I know that the Biblical Councelling Center in Arlington Heights are really good but can't recommend anyone outside of the Christian community. Seek God's direction and he will show you where to go. God bless,
K..

D. - stay true to yourself. If it right to go - you will know. If it's not yet time - you will know. Deal breakers - drinking - you cannot control or help anyone with drinking. Abuse - you cannot fill teh void or heal with the man that is abusive. Finances - you cannot make a man productive who is not productive. Gambling - is a an addiction - you cannot fix it. Cheating - is a symptom of other problems - you need to find out what the other problems are - but you can't fix it. You can only fix yourself - you husband needs to fix himself. I know you will know what to do. Congratulations on your second child!!!

Hi D.,

If it's anything other than what Sherri mentioned then I would try marriage/family counseling first before I made a final decision. Sometimes you need an impartial person to help sort the issues. If he doesn't want to go then there's your answer. Best of luck to you and your family.

I am only talking from my experience I had those same thoughts and I have 3 children. (Their ages are 4,5,and 7) I left because things wasn't going right it was nothing that I could do or say at the time to fix things. When I left it was for 2 years and he still took care of his children and even got them every weekend. I went back after those 2 years because I realized that my family life (mother,father,children living in the same household) was important and that it was worth working it out because there's no one perfect and with any relationship you would have to work at it. Some might be harder than others, it's only what you are willing to accept.
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like others have said...you'll know if its the right thing to do and when. i also wanted nothing more but to raise my son in a two parent household. but when its dysfunctional, you will probably do more harm than good. if it's a 'workable' situatinon then by all means expire all options before you call it quits. but my situation was not. my son's biological it finally left after months of pleading when my son was 15 months old. because he was never around anyway, there were no negative repurcussions on my son emotionally since there was never a connection anyway. after he left i told him as long as he could set up a stable schedule to spend time with my son then it was fine by me for he to see him. after he left, he saw him twice and its been 10 months since that last visit when he said 'i'm going to be here every week at this time.' needless to say, no regrets on my part and definitely the right thing to do. my son is happy, healthy, well-adjusted and i KNOW i wouldn't be able to say the same thing right now if i was still with him.