Seeking Professional Help for My Son's Behavior And/or Mental Health Issues

Hi ~ I am the mother of three boys, the oldest of whom has several behavioral and psychological issues. I know how frustrating and debilitating this can be, and what a huge toll it can take on your entire family. Please don't forget to care for yourself in the midst of your son's troubles. It's easy to focus completely on finding help for him, while the rest of you flounder. One person really can negatively impact everyone in the family. I'll keep your family in my thoughts, and wish you all luck in this time of stress and trouble.

I live in mid-St. Louis county, so I don't have any referrals in your area. I do, however, see a therapist and psychiatrist on Brentwood Blvd, across from the St. Louis Galleria. My therapist's name is Diane Venker, and she has seen two of my sons. Your son might be too young for her to build a relationship with, but she could be very valuable in steering you in the right direction.

Also, I am a preschool teacher, so I can try to ask around for proven help for kids your son's age. I will save this message so I can try to get in touch with you again. Just in case, my email is: ____@____.com

Again, my thoughts are with you. I'll try to see if I can find some help for you with this. If nothing else, I'm happy to be your sounding board for frustrations -- most people truly don't understand what it's like to deal with a child who can be so debilitating. My thoughts and wishes go out to you and your entire family.

Sincerely,
S. Oliveri

Kathy,

I asked a friend who has a son with Asbergers if she had any good referals for you. I don't think she has used this guy but she has heard a lot of great things about him. She is currently on vacation and didn't have his number with her, but she does have it at home. If you can't find his number let me know and she said she could get it for you when she got back. My e-mail is ____@____.com is what she had to say. Hope this is helpful.

"There is a behavioralist who is really making a name for himself in the area. His name is Dr. Colin Peeler. He is a psychologist who comes to your home to observe behavior and work with the family to find a solution for tough behaviors. Let me know if you need the number and I can get it for you when I get home."

Hi Kathy,
I have used a wonderful therapist for my daughter who has ADD. He also deals with other pediatric issues and I HIGHLY recommend him. His name is Alan Politte. His firm is Psychologists & Educators Inc, 1023 Executive Parkway Drive, Saint Louis, MO 63141 (off Olive in Creve Coeur, behind Barnes West). His phone number is ###-###-####.
He works with very young children up to adolescents. He is a former teacher as well and has a wonderful way with kids and relating information to parents. His approach is very low key, but he is firm and holds his patients accountable for their care, as well. After each visit, he had my daughter work on specific things, which he relayed to me before we left the office. The first portion of the visit is with the parent(s). Then, based on the age of the child, he spends the remainder of the time with the child (more time, the older they are). I always felt "in the loop" with her care. I know he's not close to you, but he may be worth the drive. I've recommended him to two of my friends for behavioral issues and they had equal success with their children as I had with mine.
I wish you luck with your child! It's amazing what can happen when you find the right doctors. I hope that this will be a good fit for you all!

Hi Kathy,
I had a similar situation with both of my sons. I went to a counselour and was told the same thing. To young. What seemed to work for me was picking the cereal or food item out and saying "this is what we are eating" if he didnt want it then he did not eat, figuritivly speaking. The first time he protested and would not eat. The second time he hesitated but then ate. Since then no problems. As for acting out in the school well part of that is him testing the waters, or how far he can push you. Stand firm. Be patient. This is a phase that he will grow out of, if handled correctly now. As for getting ready in the morning for school, well what we did was picked the clothes out the night before and laid them out on a specific dresser. Then when it was time to get ready for school half the battle was already over. We would pick the clothes out and then say wow look you picked it out great job and then have free time like reading, games, tv whatever for about 10-15 mintues. I also would give warnings like 15 mintues until bed time. If he gave me problems that night then the next night he would go to bed early. I would explain if he cant be a big boy and go to bed on time like he is supposed to then maybe he needs to go to bed earlier. That helped me HUGE. At first expect the hesitiation, arguing and the battling phase. BUT, it does get better after a couple of nights. Make a schedule and post it on the fridge. BUT if you do that make sure you stick to it. The schedules work great for us. We look at it and make sure that we are right on track and not forgetting anything. On a different note. I have four kids. I have two boys ages 12 and 11 and two girls ages 8 and 3. I know you feel flustered at times and I just am telling you that me having four times this has worked for us. Keep your head up and have faith that this will get better. Remember you are the Mom and whatever you set up now will stay with him and grow with him as he grows. If you let him win, or continue to fight you on this, what happens? You get flustered and overwhelmed and he will grow up thinking it is ok to do this. I am sure you are a great Mom. For a Mother to go the extra mile for the kids is awesome and seems to be rare these days. Good job and good luck. Have a blessed weekend. I hope this helps!! If you have any questions please dont hesitate to email me.
J.