Seeking Potty Training Advice - Indianapolis, IN

I don't have any experience, but I can say that my dad peed in bed until he was 16. He is a VERY heavy sleeper and used to sleep walk also. He just couldn't wake up in the middle of the night. Until it gets a little more under control keep a pull up on at night and nap time so you aren't constantly changing and washing sheets!

Hi J.,
My daughter did this also, and our dr. finally sent us to a urologist to have her checked out. The dr. said there were no physical problems, but said she had an overactive bladder. He said that when kids hold it for too long, the muscles there get very strong, so when she has to go to the bathroom now, the contractions are much stronger, making it harder to hold- resulting in an accident. He gave us medicine to slow this down and told us to start over with her (taking her to the bathroom every hour!). We did this for about 6-8 months and she is fine now. I hope this helps!!

If your daughter has accidents during the day, I suggest she see a urologist. My doctor said my accidents were behavioral as well and since my parents had both been nighttime bedwetters as children they assumed I would eventually grow out of it. I was still having occasional daytime accidents as well as nighttime bedwetting episodes in third grade so my doctor suggested a bathroom schedule where I was sent out of class at specific times of the day and awakened (I was a sound sleeper) during the night. I also had frequent bladder infections as well. During junior high I made frequent stops in the restroom between classes to avoid the daytime accidents. Finally at 14 I was sent to a urologist who discovered that my internal organs were layered like a sandwich. I did not feel any pressure on my bladder until it was full. Fortunately I had a large growth spurt shortly after his diagnosis which eased the situation, so surgery was not required. However the urologist told my parents that surgery at an earlier age would have prevented years of infections, embarrassment, and frustration. I didn't graduate wetting my pants, but I did make it to high school before my problem was diagnosed.

Is she just wetting at night and during naps? My son still does this and he turns 5 in 2 weeks. My sister and I did it until we were almost 8 y/o. Mine had to do with recurrent bladder infections, my sisters was that she had a very small bladder and just couldn't hold it through the night and slept sound. My son has a bladder that is large enough (believe me, I think it's larger than mine) but he is EXTREMELY hard to wake once asleep. He just sleeps very sound for the most part. At 5 we still put pull ups on him through the night. There are times he stays completely dry and others he soaks and no rhyme or reason to it. He pees every night before he goes to bed, it's the last thing he does. We limit his fluid intake after dinner time. And yet he has issues. I've been told it's normal for some kids to develope a little later.
Now, if it's during the day while shes there could be other things going on. I would definitly be looking into that a little bit more.
Best of Luck!

My advice to you would be to just buy some plastic sheets. My daughter did it for a long time. She just slept too hard and couldn't wake up. You can always try waking her up at night to see if she has to go but it doesn't always work. I just had to let it run its course.

My daughter will be five in June and tonight is the very first night she is sleeping without a pull up on. Yippee! She has been dry in the morning for the past 6 weeks, so we are trying it without. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. She has, however, not had any accidents during the day for a good year now. Someone today, actually, was going on and on about how well the Pampers Cool Touch pull ups helped train her daughter. She said once she made her wear those, she was trained in two weeks. She said that it didn't just feel wet and yucky, but actually turned very very cold to where she wanted to get out of them immediately. You might try that if you haven't already. Sorry, I'm not much help. If you feel there is more to what's going on than just behavior, don't be afraid to get a second opinion. You might try calling a pediatric urologist and see what they say.

Good Luck,
S.

J., I just struggled for one year with my almost 4 year old son and potty training. I would feel so discouraged because I would read conflicting advice!! I'm confused as to whether she does it during the day or just while sleeping. If its more than just while sleeping, I hav some suggestions. If not, then my suggestions won't make sense.

I found that my son would purposfully potty his pants to get my attention. I did discipline accordingly. However, has anyone suggested that she may be trying to get your attention by doing this? Is there something going on at day care? How do you spend quality time with her? By 4 1/2 she knows how to push your buttons and should be able to carry on a conversation with you about how she is feeling. My son is 4 years old and able to communicate quite well. I don't know what you have tried but I would ask her why she is doing this and see if it might be something of a completely different nature.

My nephew is 11 and he still wets the bed. My sister has taken him to the doctor and they kept saying that it was just because his bladder wasn't fully developed yet. They finally put him on some kind of meds, but it didn't take care of it totally. It runs in my brother in laws family that some have had accidents until they were teenagers. Does your daughter try to go to the potty or is it a control issue for her? I feel very lucky because at 16 months my son was out of diapers completely on his own doing pretty much. Do you put her in pull ups or diapers during naps? I think if you did this she might not like it and decide to use the potty. My son never had accidents after 16 months, now my daughter is about to turn 3. she has been potty trained for a year and still has accidents occasionally at night. I think that some kids bladders don't develop totally for awhile. My doctor actually was a bit irritated with me when I took my daughter in for her 2 year check up and she was wearing panties. I think they don't recommend potty training until they are 3. Try not to freak out and be patient with her. If you can find something that would be a payoff for her maybe that would help. I know it is a hard thing to deal with because I have seen my sister do it. Maybe when she gets in school she will get it because of all of the other kids.
Good luck

In your situation I would keep track of when she has to go to the bath room. I would encourage her to get up in the middle of the night to go potty. When she does go potty in the toliet you should make a big deal out of it. You can start a reward system for her. You can get really excited sing, clap, dance when she goes in the potty and not in her pants.My son likes stickers. I use stickers. That seems to help him. My son is 3 years old.

We were so lucky our daughter was so easy to potty trian. We used a reward system. Everytime she went to the potty with no accidents she would get a star, if she got 90 stars in a month she was rewarded with a trip to the Aquarium. It worked so well she had all her stars well before the month was up. she was 2 1/2. We put pull ups on her until she was 3 1/2 at bedtime and naptime. My best friend would give her a mm everytime she went potty and it also worked very well. We always make sure she potty's before bed and at nap times. We have a 5 mth old boy and I am already dreading training himcause I heard boys were a lot harder! Good luck let us know how it goes!

I think I would check in with the doc again. Maybe even a different doc this time. Does your daughter seem upset by these accidents? If she does, I would be very aggressive in searching for help. Good luck, I wish I had more answers for you. Shannon

Hi J.,
I've raised six kids (two adopted) so I potty trained four. My opinion? boys are much easier, my daughter was a challenge. She would sit on her potty, looking at a book...im ready to give her M and M's , stickers whatever, she can't go..she stands up and pees right there in the floor, smiling at me....ohhhh sooo not fun.

So I took her to visit preschool....and we talked about how only big girls with NO diapers and NO pull ups could go there. Bought those thick white panties, with the middle panel. I found that pullups wicked the moisture away from her and she felt dry so she just peeded in the pullups and didnt care.

probably a month or so later, i noticed she was dry more often...then we went to regular panties....she occasionally had accidents but not so often. we talked about preschool alot ;) maybe that helped!
B.

I have thought of just a few more questions. How are her bowels? Does she have problems with constipation? Sometimes, that can be a factor. Have you tried using a timer. I have a friend who used to hang a timer around her childs neck for 20-30 minutes. When it went of the child knew to it was time to use the bathroom. Your daughter could maybe have 1 hr. incriments. I don't know who watches your daughter while you are at work, but are they on the same page with you? Do they work with her while you are at work to keep things consistent for your daughter?

I have a daughter who will be 4 in May. She doesn't always make it through the night. We try to get her up between 2-4 am everynight and take her to the BR. This has worked for us. Usually it is when either me or my husband is up to use the BR. We don't set alarms for it. She has a small bladder and sleeps very hard. She has also had issues with constipation and now that we are getting it more under control, she is doing better. She is one who doesn't drink a lot during the day which can contribute to constipation.

Both my mom and MIL are nurses so I bounced ideas off them also. They were able to provide some helpful tips. I am a SAHM. If you would like to chat more just let me know.

Good luck!

Maybe you can try rewards like stickers. You can use a paper with a chart on it, posting on wall in bathroom. If your daughter success using potty without getting wet, you put sticker on chart. You and your daughter can set up a goal. If she earn stickers for a week or something, then she will get reward. Hope this will help.

S.